GROUP PHOTO
[Every year I like to write a Christmas story in memory of Father John Duffy - who died December 24, 1993. He used to write a Christmas story every year for his niece. He was a horrible typist - and never got into computers - so I typed up a few of his Christmas stories that he wrote for his niece. That Christmas - 1993 - upon hearing of his death while about to begin writing a Christmas homily, I decided on writing a Christmas story instead. I've been doing this ever since. I now have 22 stories - and this one is called, "Group Photo."]
Forever is a long, long, long, long time.
Well, it’s supposed to be just that - here in heaven.
Here was Albert – here in heaven – here for 607 years
now.
And Albert just happens to be sitting – right there –
right next to God – at God’s right hand - at this big, gigantic, banquet table.
And God says to Albert – “Hey, Albert, there are a lot of
people here – so I never know who’s going to be on my right hand. It’s
wonderful to be with you right now.”
Albert is nervous – sitting right there - right next to
God. This is the first time this has happened to him since his death 607 years
ago – way back in 2025.
He doesn’t say a word. He still can’t believe he’s in heaven. He
still can’t believe all that he has experienced in heaven – and all the people
he has met so far.
Yet? There’s always a yet.
So God – seeing the blank in Albert’s – face - says,
“Albert, so how’s it going so far?”
“Great God, great!”
Then Albert – after a long pause – says, “Well, God, to
be perfectly honest, I do get bored at times.”
Then comes an “Uh oh!” thought in Albert’s mind. “Did I
just say what I just said – to God?”
So God says, “Well, Albert, give me some ideas. You know, I can be very creative.”
Albert smiled at that.
So then he says to God, “I was thinking, ‘How about some
competitions? How about some contests up here?’”
And God says, “Albert, hello! In case you didn’t catch it yet, this is heaven. We’re not
supposed to have any comparisons or competitions or contests and that sort of
stuff anymore.”
“Ooops, God,” Albert says. “I’m sorry.”
And God laughed at the contradiction and said, “I don’t think we’re supposed to say ‘I’m
sorry!’ here in heaven – either.
Then God says, “Albert, let me think about this for a
moment?”
Then there’s another long pause.
Then God says, “I need to get my imagination going here.
In heaven – with everything so heavenly, with no struggles, no competitions, no
contests, no games, no losers, and all that – you might be onto something.”
With that - God put his hand on Albert’s shoulder, and
asks him, “What did you do for a living?”
“I was a bridge attender.”
“A what?” asks God.
“A bridge attender.”
“Yeah,” Albert continued, “I used to attend to a little bridge over
Carrol’s Creek in Annapolis, Maryland.”
And God said, “Where?”
“Annapolis, Maryland.”
“No, no” says God, “I know where Annapolis, Maryland is. But Carrol’s Creek? Where’s that?”
“Oh,” says Albert, “It was also called, ‘Spa Creek.’”
And God said, “I don’t remember ever meeting anyone who
was a bridge attender. Toll collectors on bridges – yes. Even with E-ZPass, they
still have toll collectors. Tell me what you did?”
And Albert told God all about his life time – and his one great – piece of cake
– of a job: being a bridge attender over
Carrol’s or Spa Creek in Annapolis, Maryland, USA.
Then God asked, “Any hobbies?”
“Oh yeah,” said Albert, “I loved taking pictures. I took
thousands and thousands of great pictures of sail boats and sunsets – on and
over Carrol’s Creek. Great spot for picture taking.”
Then God said, “That’s it. Let’s have a photo contest.”
Albert says, “What!”
“Yeah, a photo contest,” says, God, “but I’m wondering
about what? Any suggestions?”
Albert’s imagination began to bounce – and he said to
God, “Well even though I loved to do sunsets and sail boats, my favorite
pictures were group photo’s – especially of families. They tell so much.
Then God lifted his hand off Albert’s shoulder. Then he slapped that same shoulder – and said, “Albert
you’re a genius.”
And then God called his favorite “Go To Angel,” - Gabriel - and said, “Announce to all of heaven that
we’re going to have a Group Photo contest. The best group photo – the best group
picture – gets a special prize!”
Gabriel says, “Great. I haven’t made any big time announcements
in a long, long, long, long time. Thank you God.”
Then Albert asks God, “What’s the special prize?”
“Shush!” says, God. “I don’t know what it will be right now. But
relax – without anyone ever saying this, everyone knows that I’m the great
procrastinator. So relax. I’ll come up
with something. We got plenty of time – oops eternity.”
The Group Photo contest created quite a buzz in heaven.
People gathered their whole family line from the
beginning – back to Adam and Eve – who were drained – in being asked to be in
so many family pictures.
People got themselves pictured with every pet they ever
had.
People got themselves pictured with Army or Navy or Air Force buddies – whom they hadn’t seen
since some war – and hadn’t connected up with them yet in heaven.
People met people they heard about from their spouses – ad nauseam – when they got everybody
together for a group photo.
Some people found themselves standing there nervous –
because there they were to be in the same group photo – with first and
sometimes second and third spouses – and step kids – and family members whom they had had stresses with at times while
on earth. But this was heaven and things went rather smoothly.
And the winner is….
After what seemed a good slice of eternity – after a lot of tears and a lot of laughter – the
winner was finally announced.
Nobody could have guessed which group photo – which group
picture - was chosen.
And the winner was a group photo of all the animals who
were in the stable that Christmas night – when Jesus was born.
Down through the centuries – people kneeling there at
Christmas crèche’s and stables – and mangers – wondered – what were the animals
thinking as they saw the birth of a baby boy – and they heard angels singing – “Woo!”
- “Wow!” - “Glory to God in the
highest!” and in came shepherds - and in
came kings – and a few days later in came soldiers with swords in hand – looking for this new born baby whom
Herod the Horrible heard was to be the new born king – and they were told to
kill him.
It’s heaven – so the sheep and the goats, the ox and the
ass, told a wrapped in rapture audience – the whole of heaven – what they saw
that night – what they experienced in that experience – of being at the birth
of a baby in a stable.
A sheep said, “We didn’t see it coming – a baby was born who would change the world.”
The ass said, “It was like a Mass – a Mass of Mary – as
if she was holding up this tiny baby and
saying, ‘This is my body. This is my blood. Take and eat. Take and drink! I’m
giving my life to you.’ No wonder Jesus was born in Bethlehem – the House of
Bread.”
And the winner was – you’re not going to believe this either
– a bridge attender from Annapolis, Maryland – named Albert.
“For the sake of transparency,” God announced in the
award ceremony, “Albert came up with the idea of this contest – and the idea of
the Group Photo. So Albert, congratulations.”
Albert, a bridge attender from Annapolis Maryland, in one
instance – one momentous moment – was instantly known by all the people in
heaven that ever lived.
And God said, “Albert do you have anything to say?”
“Yes,” Albert said, “Yes!”
“What is it, Albert?”
“The prize. The prize. What’s the prize? What’s the
surprise?”
God paused. All were silent!
Then God said, “Albert, you can go down to earth – and you can whisper
one thing into every person on earth’s ear – sort of like Gabriel whispering in
Mary’s ear – when she was being called to be the Mother of Jesus.”
“Ooops,” God says, “I like this idea of calling you, ‘Angel
Albert’. It’s got a nice sound to it: ‘Angel Albert.’”
And then God said, “Angel Albert – I’ll give you a week,
a month or a year, to come up with what you’re going to whisper into every person’s
ear?”
Albert says, “Hello
God. Hello! I told you I was a bridge attender and I told you I love group photos. So obviously, I’m would love to go back down to earth to try to urge people to bridge the gaps – the empty
places - in the pictures of their life. I
want to whisper to everyone, “Who’s missing in your life? I would love to whisper
into the mind of every person on the planet earth, ‘Is there any person you’re
blocking out of your family or any group photo – any person you’re keeping on
the other shore of your life? Attend to your bridges. Or as they say, ‘Stop throwing rocks! Bridges not
walls.’”
“Great," God said, "Great."
"And, God, Pst!" said Albert. How about some day a group photo of everyone that ever lived?"
And God said, "Not yet Albert - and - I don't know about that one. I don't know."
And Albert said, "But God, I thought you said, 'With God nothing is impossible.'"
