CAN   PEOPLE  CHANGE?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this December 23^rd  is, “Can People Change?”

One of life’s biggest questions is, “Can People Change?”

Husbands and wives ask that question about the other – secretly – quietly – in the back seat of their brain – at least 10 times a year – more or less - especially after they have had a difference – a misunderstanding – or an argument.

“Can she change?”  “He does this every time and every time I don’t get him.”

Can people change.

Let me tell you most of my life living with other priests I have asked that question 100 times.

And the answer is always, “No!”

But we still have the eternal hope, “Yes – people can change.”

Then life is lived. We meet each other in the corridor or the slow lane. We bump into each other coming around the corners of life. We crash into each other in the fast lane.

Life is déjà vu all over and over and over again.

MARRIAGES AND BABIES AND THE CROSS

Yet there are changes in people – that happen – slowly – deeply – below the soil.  After all we became who we are – slowly – deeply – below the soil of our soul.

I’ve notice people have changed by being married and by having babies.

I’ve seen priests change when they realize that a Father is more than a collar or a role – but one’s life.

I’ve asked married couples which changes a person more: getting married or having a baby.  And the answer most of the time has been: the baby.

What’s your answer to the question?  If you are or were married – and have a child or children – which changed you more?

SOME QUOTES

John Barth and B.A. Billingsly are both given credit for saying, “Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.”

Is that true? 

I love to say: I love that saying because I've never married - so I have an excuse for not growing up.

I guess the answer is that it’s up to us. Am I growing?

How about Carl Sandburg’s comment, “A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.”

Babies change and are changed often. How about their handlers. Let’s be honest. Sometimes we stink and we need to change.

Is the following comment by Jerome K. Jerome   true? It's a comment he made in Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow:  “It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time. Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.” 

What's your take on that?  For the sake of transparency, are you the oldest, youngest, only, or middle child?  

I would think you'd have to be 55 to really answer that question - and only after a lot of chatter and communication with both your parents and your siblings and aunts and uncles - who know you and know your parents.

What about Linda Becker’s comment: “Still the most magical day of my life was the day I became a mom.”

Only time and observation tells the truth about these observations.

And what about suffering? Is that the big life changer: death, rejection, divorce, being fired, the loss of a baby, war?

CONCLUSION

Today’s readings –Malachi 3:1-4, 23-24  and  Luke 1:57-66 -  triggered this topic and these questions.  What do they trigger for you?  Christmas – there’s Mary and Joseph and the baby in a thousand Christmas scenes.  Then the cross starts to appear on the horizon like the Christmas star.

And people change.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-

NOTES:

“Babies are soft. Anyone looking at them can see the tender, fragile skin and know it for the rose-leaf softness that invites a finger's touch. But when you live with them and love them, you feel the softness going inward, the round-cheeked flesh wobbly as custard, the boneless splay of the tiny hands. Their joints are melted rubber, and even when you kiss them hard, in the passion of loving their existence, your lips sink down and seem never to find bone. Holding them against you, they melt and mold, as though they might at any moment flow back into your body.

“But from the very start, there is that small streak of steel within each child. That thing that says 'I am,' and forms the core of personality.

"In the second year, the bone hardens and the child stands upright, skull wide and solid, a helmet protecting the softness within. And 'I am' grows, too. Looking at them, you can almost see it, sturdy as heartwood, glowing through the translucent flesh.

"The bones of the face emerge at six, and the soul within is fixed at seven. The process of encapsulation goes on, to reach its peak in the glossy shell of adolescence, when all softness then is hidden under the nacreous layers of the multiple new personalities that teenagers try on to guard themselves.

"In the next years, the hardening spreads from the center, as one finds and fixes the facets of the soul, until "I am" is set, delicate and detailed as an insect in amber.”  ― Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber.

“Babies are such a nice way to start people.”  ―Don Herold

“A mother does not become pregnant in order to provide employment to medical people. Giving birth is an ecstatic jubilant adventure not available to males. It is a woman's crowning creative experience of a lifetime.” John Stevenson  

“Her eyes are wide and steady beneath the brim of her floppy cap. How far out of infancy do we lose this gaze, with its utter absence of expectation or prejudice? What is it like to simply see what is before you, without the skew of context?” Michael Perry  

“So many people think that they are not gifted because they don’t have an obvious talent that people can recognize because it doesn’t fall under the creative arts category—writing, dancing, music, acting, art or singing. Sadly, they let their real talents go undeveloped, while they chase after fame. I am grateful for the people with obscure unremarked talents because they make our lives easier---inventors, organizers, planners, peacemakers, communicators, activists, scientists, and so forth. However, there is one gift that trumps all other talents—being an excellent parent. If you can successfully raise a child in this day in age to have integrity then you have left a legacy that future generations will benefit from.” Shannon L. Alder. 

“A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.”  Mark Twain

“I know now why God gave us babies. They require constant attention, of course. They make messes and disturb the peace, but their cuteness and smiles are something the only reminder of God we have in the house.” Ann Rinaldi, The Letter Writer. 

“When I see an evil person, I cannot believe that once he was an innocent and sweet baby.” Amit Kalantri