INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily for this 25th Wednesday in
Ordinary time is, “The Lie.”
This theme and issue of lying is expressed in both the first
reading [Proverbs 30:5-9] as well as today’s Psalm [119:29, 104].
What I like to do for homilies is read the Mass readings of
the day and see what questions they trigger - especially questions that I
haven’t looked at in the past. I figure this is a good way to grow and to get
stretched. So today’s readings triggered the thought: come up with some thoughts
about, “The Lie.”
TWO KINDS OF LIES
There are two kinds of lies: the white lie and the bad lie.
In general - and following our conscience - telling a white
lie can save time and energy and people. In general, ethics and moral theology
allows for so called, “white lies” in some cases.
For example, you’re not going to tell the truth when your
sister-in-law asks you how she looks in a certain dress. You know from experience that no matter
what you say, that’s the dress she’s going to wear the wedding. And you know it’s
going to make her look even fatter. Or someone wants to sit down and talk for 2
hours. You just spent two hours the other day with them. Today you have three important things to do. You know the person is going to feel
rejected if you tell the truth. Reality: you just don’t have time for them today. So you lie.
You say you have an important appointment at that time - and the important
appointment is to just take a needed break - to catch up with some bills or
what have you. Or you tell you’re kid to tell someone you’re not at home - when
the truth is, you’re not home for them. It’s hard to explain …..
There are various drawbacks to white lies: sometimes they
lead to slippage into bad lies by blurring; sometimes people feel they have to
confess them - mixing them up with bad lies - or they feel guilty - because
it’s not the truth; sometimes you get caught in a white lie. “Uh oh!”
That’s a few comments about white lies. By their nature, they can be slippery,
but ….
LET ME TALK ABOUT REAL LIES - THE BAD LIES
Bad lies are bad lies.
There are degrees to bad lies. We can use words like big
lies and small lies - and lies that lie in between big and little. We also use
the words in Catholic circles, “venial” and “mortal”.
Bad lies have consequences - like white lies at times.
In a courtroom - having put hand on the Bible - we could be
guilty of perjury.
In a marriage - lies can end a marriage - when they are part
of a big time deception.
Bad lies could be part of our pretending to be
someone I’m not - and that can do soul damage.
Bad lies can be planting falsehoods out there about others -for various reasons - and that can destroy community and relationships and the common good.
Agur - have you ever heard of him before - don’t lie - is
the author of today’s first reading here in Chapter 30 of Proverbs. He prays not to be a deceiver. He prays to God that God
help him, “[Lord], put falsehood and lying far from me.”
I once read a comment by the poet, Theodore Roethke, “O the
lies I tell my energies….” He said that in an article about teaching English to
students. He wrote, “I’m beginning to feel the mould creep over the lineaments
of the soul. O the lies I’ve told to my own energies trying to convince myself
I was teaching you something. Twenty times a day I asked myself: are you really
worth it?” [2]
Don’t we all have self doubts at times - about faith and
marriage and relationships and work and raising kids, etc. “What am I doing
here?”
We can be lazy. Theodore Roethke’s comment about the lies
we’ve told our energies often hits me. I say things, “Enough already. Hide.
Take a break.”
That line led me to think that the first place to look at
lies is in oneself. What are the lies I tell myself? I do it about work and breaks. I do it about
eating and health and exercise.
Is it easy to spot lies in political advertising - by all
sides. As a result I can’t wait till November 7th.
Didn't Hitler say, "The broad mass of a nation ... will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one." [3]
It’s easier to spot lies people get off about themselves compared to the ones we tell ourselves. What I'm saying here is that the key area is to spot the lies I tell myself.
Don’t we often lie by repeating comments about others - making
suggestions about others that are not true - or hearsay? We judge. We have
biases. We have baggage. We often contradict ourselves. We do sloppy reporting.
We spend our lives blaming God and others for our disasters.
We repeat our comments or comments we have heard without filtering them - or
studying them - or finding out if they are true.
As I reflected on all this, the big message that hit me is
that we all have to push our own “mute” button. We need to push our own “pause”
button. We need quiet to “mind” and “mint” our words.
CONCLUSION
In pondering this, we might even ask, “Can I ever speak?”
In pondering this, we might end up saying what is said in
the Talmud: “Teach they tongue to say, I do not know.”
In pondering this, we hopefully end up realizing that the key
motive and simple goal is to love one another as Christ loved us - and he gave
us a call to be in communion with one another.
OOOOOOOO
NOTES
Painting on top: "The Lie" by Johan Lowie, Oil on woodboard,32"H x 44"W.
[1] Cf. Sissela Bok, Lying:
Moral Choice in Public and Private Life, Pantheon, 1978; Cf. Dan Ariely, The [Honest] truth about Dishonesty: How We
Lie to Everyone - Especially Ourselves, HarperCollins, 2012
[2] Cf. p, 242 in Allan Seager, The Glass House, The Life of Theodore Roethke, N.Y. McGraw-Hill
Book Company, 1968. This appeared in the May issue of College English, in a piece by Ted entitled, “Last Class”. He is
writing about Bennington.
(This appeared in Botteghe Oscure,
1950 - Roma -
