August 7, 2022

Reflection

WHAT WAS YOUR FATHER LIKE?

What  was your father like?

I was wondering if I should ask every couple I interview about marriage that question.

Does it follow that will bring that reality into their wonderings about their upcoming marriage: imitation of or reaction against?

Is their a neutral ground?

Are questions like: Oldest? Youngest? Middle? good questions to ask as well?

Or what about where their father was in his family line?

Is the oldest child more apt to become a leader, a pusher, a corrector, a boss, that is,  if there are a couple of brothers / or sisters after him?

What is a male like who is the oldest in his family and his dad was also the oldest in his family?

What if the girl is the oldest, etc.?        

Once questions for clarifications are asked, does sit then make the question irrevelent?

Or is better to simply ask a couple,, "What was your dad like? What was your mother like?

I'm the youngest son of a youngest son.

My mom was the oldest in her family. Is that why I'm asking these questions?

I've never been a boss - nor did I ever want to be one. I rather swim along unnoticed - or swim away and enjoy finding shells on a far shore - yet I don't  like to travel alone.

So the question: What was your father like" is a good ice breaker.

Questions with multiple possibilities for varying answers are called for.

Yes?

No?

Undecided?

It all depends.

August 7, 2022

Thought for Today

"If grass can grow through cement, love and find you at every time in your life."

Cher

American singer and actresss

 

 August 6, 2022

Reflection

CONTROL

She said she was getting better with trying to control things - people - everything and everyone.

Change came with having a baby. "I gave up when I realized he is not an adult. He's going to eat  the way he's going to eat. Sometime it's food. Sometimes food becomes a toy to play with. Sometimes food is face cream, shampoo or stuff to throw."

I asked her what it was like to be married and why she married him. I quoted an old quote I once read and that I had mentioned to my niece Margie. "A man marries a woman; a woman marries a project."

Then I added, "When I told that to my niece, she kicked me."

Then realizing what she did, she said, "Sorry!"

I pondered the whole theme or issue of control: Traffic control. God control. Other control. Weather control. Air conditioner control. Babies in church control. Who has the clicker at TV control. Times people show u for meals. When the phone rings control.

I thought about the prayer, "Thy will be done."

I thought about Self Take Personality Tests - and how they show how different people can be.

She brought up the "power" word.

We talked about power and control.

We talked about bending - letting things go - letting things slide - letting go - having a relaxed grip.

How do teachers do it?

How do nurses do it?

How do attendants on airplanes do it?

How do parents do it?

How does God do it? God remains quiet. God learned how to let go a long time ago.

Me? Someday.  We'll see.

 August 6, 2022

Thought for Today

"Through the Thou a person becomes I."

Martin Buber,

I and Thou (1923)

August 5, 2022

Reflection 

MAIN STREET

Main Street: how come it so often becomes the main street?

Did they know that when they named it that?

Was it named that the first day - or was it gradual - and it named itself?

I've been to many small town - and so many had a Main Street.

I like it when they have some sidewalk restaurants. They are great places to watch people walk by.

I love walking or driving up Main Street in the early morning when street cleaners are cleaning up - when store keepers are opening up - when walkers and joggers are waking or jogging by - when folks are walking their dogs.

Life after the night before ....

A new day....

Breakfast - lunch - or supper....

Boutiques - Bodegas - Baskin Robbins....

Looking at life, I guess, we have a main street - so many side streets -   back alleys - and cuts - quick ones across town.

Main Street ....

Didn't Babbitt - or someone with a name like that - have a book named that?

I'm sure it's the name of a newspaper or magazine or shoppers guide.

Main Street ....

And the Word became flesh and walked up our main streets....

 August 5, 2022

Thought for Today

"Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church                  where a wedding has been,                                                Lives in a dream.                                                                Waits at the window, wearing the face                                  that she keeps in a jar by the door,                                      Who is it for? All the lonely people,                                    where do they all come from?"

John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Eleanor Rigby (1966 Song)

 August 4, 2022

Reflection

50TH  ANNIVERSARY

Everything was gold.

Little gold 50's were sprinkled on every round table.

Her shoes were gold. Her dress was gold. The hall was draped in gold.

It was a golden moment - 50 years of marriage.

I got into a seat where I could see it all - the pictures - the children - the golden  grandchildren - the friends - lots of friends.

Their marriage worked.

They said they worked at it.

Six children: three girls, three boys.

Johnny, the oldest, gave a toast  from a small stage. It had humor. It had seriousness. The  sound that hit me was: not everyone makes it to 50.

People die. Divorce. Or just give up and separate.

This couple made it.

I sensed gratitude - thanks - grabbing the spotlight on their faces and in their eyes. Sober simple gratitude as they talked together near the end to all 100+ present.

At a wedding a newly married couple work the room together.  At their 50th this couple worked the room separately - and this made sense doing it this way. 

You have to know them. You have to have been there.

There was so much to share - so many connections and re-connections - so many stories to tell the other in small connecting groups.

50th Golden Gathering - so much to be thankful for.

Thank You, God - so much to share on Monday morning....