July 9, 2022

ACCEPTANCE

I find myself saying to people, "Try praying for the grace to accept  that you can't accept some reality."

A boss is driving us crazy. We can't quit our job - and we feel ugly with so many negative feelings bouncing around in our belly about him.

These ugly feelings make us feel guilty. We inwardly say, "I shouldn't feel this way." We think, "I should be a better Christian. I should be able to forgive this person. I should be able to carry this cross."

But when we can't. we can get a double whammy - then a triple whammy: the inability to forgive, accept, and be patient with this person.

Compound feelings pound us like ongoing traffic or pounding waves hitting our beach.

What to do?

Obviously, the first step is to call, "Time out."

Get off the basketball court for a while. Breathe! Have a coach point out what's happening. Have a coach suggest something new to do.

The coach might simply suggest accepting everything that's happening - inside and out.

I might simply say, "Okay - oh this is what a traffic jam looks like. I can't get out of this right now."

The literature on dysfunctional people, situations, or families point out that dysfunctional people get us to become more dysfunctional. They can mess us up.

The thing to do is to watch the whole game as if you're sitting in the stands as well as if you're in the game.

Once we do that, laughter can happen, Acceptance can happen.

Solutions, no.

Acceptance, yes.

 July 9, 2022

"If I'm more of an influence to your son as a rapper than you are as a father ... you have to look at yourself as a parent."

Ice Cube,

American rap musician

to Mike Sager in Rolling Stone, 

October 4, 1990

 July 8, 2013

Reflection

REALITY

If you deny reality, reality will deny you!

I found myself thinking that during Mass today.

Realities: muscles, others, sin, grace, God.

The thought hit me after reading an article in the op-ed section of the New York Times.  The article was about the Taliban destroying a statue of the Buddha in  Afganistan.

Karen Armstrong said that a few Islamic leaders accepted other religions - and they talked about a guy who didn''t and in time it came back to destoying the Islamics in India. 

 I guess dictatorships  fall because they are denying the reality of other peoples minds and hearts.

I guess the person who neglects his spouse, children, health, etc. will end up experiencing brokenness.

Reality has a way of really happening to us if we deny it.  

Reality will eventually bite us in the ass.

 July 8, 2022

Thought for Today

"There's only one real sin, and that is to persuade oneself that the second-best is anything but the second best."

Doris Lessing (1919-2013)

The Golden Notebook (1962)

 July 7, 2022

Reflection

TURNING ON THE LIGHTS

One of the interesting moments in life is sitting in a room with soft lighting or just enough lighting. Then someone walks in and puts on the lights full blast.

Larry Murphy did that every morning. Six or seven of us would be at breakfast in our dining room and he would walk in - and loud the lights - saying, "Let's put some light on the subject?"

And all 7 of us would chant, "No! Oh no!"

Some people's eyes are comfortable with natural light.

Shouldn't we have the right to have natural light some. Let those who don't like soft light - those who don't like "darkness" - grin and bear it at least 25% of the time,

Ugh! It seems that those who like full blast light all the time - always think they are in the right with the lights.

I guess this is the way life works.

I guess I would feel a bit better about all this, if the person who is going to put the on the lights would ask once in a while, "Is it all right if I could put some more light on?"

And we moles and mice in the dark got our way once in a while.

 July 7, 2022

Thought for the Day 

"Beware of the man whose God is in the skies."

George Bernhard Shaw

Man and Superman (1903)

'Maxims: Religion

 July 6, 2022

TWO SCENES

As priest, I look out at a church full of children. They are at a kids' Mass here.

I see possibilities. I see futures. I see dreams. I see the love of parents. I see an investment. I see specialness - uniqueness - and even more: now that people are having less children - kids are being held as more more special.

Then I hear or see in the news a story about the slaughter of 120 people: men, women, children- in some village in East Timor or in Kosovo - or Bosnia - somewhere - and I cry. Kids killed before their dreams can be realized.

The specialness of life - the value of life in one place - and the apparent cheapness - in some other place.

Then I remember scenes - a third scene - the kid who never dreams - but who lives till 85 or 90.

What about me?  What were my childhood dreams? What did I want to be? What did I want to do? Are they still energizing me?

I had two dreams as a kid: to be a priest   in Brazil  and to write. 

I never got to Brazil.  My classmates yes . Me no.

My destiny as priest has been here in the United States.

I also dreamed of writing. It has been  realized.

However the dream of making it as a writer - better than I have - is still there - is still here.

More.  

I need to do more writing.

Sentence by sentence the book is written.

Step by step the dream is realized.