TRIGGERED FEELINGS

  

The title of my homily is, “Triggered Feelings.”
 
I read the readings in the morning for a homily for this Tuesday day.
 
Like listening to a song – the words of the readings send me triggered feelings.
 
Like Jacob I’ve crossed rivers – and fords of rivers -  to get to where I am right now.
 
Sometimes I’m with family and friends; sometimes l feel left
alone at the shore.
 
I’ve think about the times I’ve wrestled with my unknowns – and as a result I have a wrenched hip bone at the socket – in my struggles – but to make the struggle worth while I say, “I will not let you go Struggle  until you bless me.”
 
I wait – await – for a blessing.
 
I’ve been asked, “What’s your name?”
 
I answer,  “Jacob.
 
My unknown struggle says, “You shall no longer be spoken of as Jacob, but as Israel,  because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed.”
 
I ask my unknown struggle its name.
 
I get no answer – no reply - only a goodbye.
 
I name the place Penuel – Hebrew for – “Seeing God face to face.”
 
I move on with a limp – for the rest of my life. I have others only I can see.
 
I move on….
 
One day I realize I really can’t speak.
 
Some days are like that. Ever feel that way, “I don’t know what to say.”
 
I’m face to face with Jesus.
 
Someone – something – brought me to Jesus.
 
And Jesus drives out the demons that hold me back: fear, shame, dumb, the dumb things I do – addictive -  and at times - I don’t know why I do the things I do.  Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
 
Jesus walking around the world looks for people like me.
 
He proclaims the Gospel of the kingdom – curing every disease and illness.
 
He is moved with pity for someone like me – someone who feels troubled and abandoned at times.
 
I feel like a sheep without a shepherd.
 
I’m harvest for the master of the harvest.
 
I’m wheat. I’m flour. I’m bread.  Life! Others!  Take and eat me up.
 
I guess Jesus walks around hearing songs – the triggered feelings of people like me.
 

 July 6,  2021

July 6, 2020

 

BEACH  EDGE  MORNING 

I like to walk along the edge
of the ocean and the beach.
 
It’s a game – jumping back –
away from the inflowing waves.
 
This edge of the earth has
this most soft jagged edge.
 
The sand pipers play this game
way better than me  - but ….
 
But I can look ahead and see
more morning travelers – or ….
 
Or the sun rising – or a fishing
boat stopping – or a surfer ….
 
Knowing this is my morning prayer,  this is
how I like to walk on the edge of a new day.

 

 

 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2020

July  6,  2021

 

Thought for the Day

“There’s no right way of writing.  There’s only your way.”

 Milton Lomask

 July  5,  2021

IN  MY  POCKET

  
What’s the one thing I find
in my pocket the most?
 
Paper.
 
Obviously - it’s paper of course.
 
Names of people. Phone numbers.
Addresses. Names of books. The
first three lines of the first draft of a poem.
 
Tissues. Questions. Reminders.
Calling cards. Okay, I’m stuck in the past.
In your pocket, you have only your iPhone.
 

 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2020

July  5,  2021

 

Thought for the Day

 

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

 

Plato

 July  4,  2021

NEVER  SAW  THAT  BEFORE

 

If we walk the planet, we’ll see,
lots of things we never saw before.
 
Religions, ceremonies, dances,
games, foods, costumes, customs.
 
Interesting, amazing, surprising,
eye-opening, wondering, intriguing….
 
How do I react? What am I thinking?
Positive or negative? Questions or answers?
 
I guess I need to pause and look at my life.
I guess I need to wonder, “How do people see me?

 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2020

July  4,  2021

 

Thought for the Day

 

“At last the notes of his flute come in, and I cannot stop him from dancing around on the floor.”

 

The Kabir Book,

translated by

Robert Bly