DEATH’S IF’S
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily for today is, “Death’s If’s.” I better
spell that out, “D e a t h ’ s” and “I
f’ s”.
Life has its if’s – and at death, there are lots of emotional
“If’s.”
We’re sitting there in church –
and the coffin is sitting there next to us or the ashes, the cremains, and we
are thinking and praying and feeling and “iffing”.
If I had done this. If I had done that.
Of we if some if’s about the person who has died, “If only,
the roads weren’t icy.” “If only she had gone home another way.” “If only he
hadn’t smoked.”
Of we give God some of our “if’s”. “If only we had more time
together. If only she or he could enjoy more retirement.”
Life has its if’s and death has its if’s.
SAMMY DAVIS JR.
I remember watching Johnny Carson or some talk show years
ago and the host had Sammy Davis on the couch. And he asks Sammy, “Why do you
always publicly tell folks, ‘I love you?’”
And Sammy Davis paused and became very serious. Then he
said, “Well, I had this friend whom I grew up with. We went to school together
and did everything together. Well, I always wanted to tell him, ‘I love you!”
and I never did. And I got a call that he died in an accident and I regretted
over and over again, “If only I had said, ‘I love you!”
That hit me and it got me saying to many people, “I love
you!”
And I love it sitting in my car trying dropping someone off
at BWI or any spot like that and I’m watching someone kissing someone and you
can see them mouthing those 3 words, “I love you.”
And I’ve noticed it happening with parents dropping kids off
at school here for school and games – and I’ve seen husbands and wife’s do this
– just running down to the store to get milk or cake.
“I love you.”
SMILEY BLANTON
I love something Smiley Blanton, the psychologist used to
say. I always use this. He said something like this. After listening to people
coming in for counseling for 20 years – I began hearing them saying two words.
In fact, every problem seemed to be summed up with those two words and they
are, “If only.”
If only I didn’t marry her.
If only I didn’t have this affair.
If only I hadn’t started drinking.
If only I could stop running around.
And on and on and on.
And Smiley Blanton then said, “I thought about it and
figured the solution has to be as simple and it was. It’s only two words, “Next
time.”
That’s just what Sammy Davis did. Next time he felt like
saying to someone, “I love you” he said it.
We’re in a Cemetery – any
cemetery and we walk around and look at the dates. Don’t we stop at some stones
and say, “If only….”
Don’t we definitely feel that way when we visit the Vietnam
Memorial in Washington DC
or visit Gettysburg or we see the movie, “Saving
Private Ryan” or turn on the TV news every day now and we see all the people who are dying from the Coronus 19 death. Don’t we feel lots of “If’s!”
MOBY DICK
I always wanted to read the novel, Moby Dick. I would say, “If only I had read it in college.” But I
didn’t.
Well, there I was in Barnes and Noble and there is a whole
table full of copies of Moby Dick marked down. I think 4 dollars. I bought it.
I read it. I loved it and I was not ready for it in college.
Herman Melville writes in Chapter 114, “There is no steady
unretracing progress in this life; we do not advance through fixed gradations,
and at the last one pause: through infancy’s unconscious spell, boyhood’s
thoughtless faith, adolescence’ doubt (the common doom), then skepticism, then
disbelief, resting at last in manhood’s pondering repose of If. But once gone
though, we trace the round again; and are infants, boys, and men, and Ifs
eternally. Where lies the final harbor, when we unmoor no more? (Moby Dick
114).
For the Christian it is Christ – Christ is our harbor where
we will unmoor no more. More. Christ is our more. There is more life after
death. Christ is the end and the beginning of all. Eternal life.
TODAY’S FIRST READING
In today’s first reading Ezekiel sees Israel
His theme is mainly, “If only Israel
TODAY’S SECOND READING
In today’s second reading from Romans, Paul uses that little word “if” three times:
“If only the Spirit of God dwells in you.” It can….
“If Christ is in you ….” He can be in us.
“If the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead
dwells in you….” The Father and the Spirit can dwell in us.
TODAY’S GOSPEL
And in today’s gospel we have several if’s, but the big “IF”
that got me thinking about this for this homily is, “Lord, if you had been
here, my brother would not have died.”
That’s the big if in many deaths.
And the big message is Jesus’ words are, “I am the
resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live,
and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
In other words, “Jesus is here.”
Jesus is in death.
Each death – our death – our loved one’s death – is somehow
mysteriously part of Jesus’ death.
And Jesus cries.
And Jesus weeps.
And Jesus feels death and disbelief with great disturbance
of soul.
RESURRECTION
Of course this is difficult to accept and believe,
especially at the time of death – and John is wonderful, he tells us about the
closeness of friendship and love in death – and he tells us Jesus weeps and
everyone sees him weeping and say, “See how he loved him.”
And Jesus goes to the tomb and yells, “Lazarus, come out!”
And Jesus says, “Untie him and let him go.”
We believe – even though it’s tough –and we’re crying – that
after death is “the next time” that is outside of time – and outside of “if”.
