January 2, 2018 - 

Thought for today: 

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” 

Oscar Wilde [1854-1900]

January 2, 2018

STOP COMPLAINING

A teacher - whom I never expected

to be a teacher - taught me to stop complaining about the cold - as well 
as the heat of the summer. The teacher

was the big tree in my back yard. It

just sits there. It just grows there. It 
just exists there - naked in the cold 
and in the heat - without a complaint.

And I suspect, I do, that it won’t complain when it's cut down and becomes a chair 
or a table or a door - or it simply becomes firewood. Now that’s a humble ending.

 © Andy Costello, Reflections 2018

January 1, 2018 

Thought for today: 

"Friendship is born at  that  moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”. 

― C.S. Lewis  [1896-1963]

[I plan to put a thought or quote for the day - besides a reflection a day - on my blog this year. I did a poem by someone else every day a few years back. This is a more modest self promise. Have a good year. "What you too?...."]

AROUND YOUR NECK

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this feast of  the Solemnity of Mary - the Holy Mother of God -  is, “Around Your Neck.”

ANTHROPOLOGY

Who was the first human being to wear something around their neck?

Are there any paintings - and there have been a lot of paintings in the history of our world - are there any paintings of Adam and Eve where they have something around their neck?

I remember watching a documentary about the history of our world - how we evolved - how we migrated - how we came about. Showing some hunters moving along through the woods or mountain passes some early people stopped to bury one of the group who had died. The narrator said this was a jump in our evolution - to stop to bury our dead. To pause, to cry, to leave a marker for the next time we come back this way. “Here is where X died and is buried.”

The title of my homily is, “Around Your Neck.”

Did someone take something from the deceased - put a rope or string through it and wear it around their neck as a reminder of a loved and appreciated one?

Who was the first human to wear something around their neck?

I assume in classes and courses on anthropology someone mentions the human practice of wearing medals and chains, rosaries, bones and beads, shells and stones, around necks. 

Thinking about this - while putting together this homily - yes, in those National Geographic Magazines and Documentaries about aborigines and native peoples around the world, often they are wearing stuff around their necks.

TODAY’S FIRST READING

Why am I mentioning this topic?

Well, in today’s first reading from Numbers 6 we have the Aaronite Blessing.

Hear the reading again: “The Lord said to Moses: ‘Speak to Aaron and his sons and tell them: “This is now you shall bless the Israelites. Say to them: The Lord bless you and keep you! The Lord let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you! The Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace!’”

I remember reading years ago that they found in a dig in Jerusalem two amulets or charms that people would have worn.   It was silver and in the shape of a scroll. The anthologists were very careful examining it. They were estimated to be some 2600 or 2700  years old.  Next they figured from its size - the size of a quarter or a finger - and the hole in it, that someone wore this around their neck. Next they saw that there was writing on these amulets - and they were very, very, very careful in unrolling these amulets.

Surprise they discovered it was the Aaronite Blessing.

Did the person who wore it - were there many of these - try each day to be gracious and kind and bring peace to those they met that day?  And if they did, did their face shine?

TODAY

Today - January 1^st -  is a feast for Mary, the Mother of God.

Today is also called, “World Day of Praying for Peace.”

Wouldn’t it be great if people who wear a rosary around their neck or the neck of the rear view mirror in their car - wear that - not just as a piece of jewelry - but also as a reminder to pray for others - in the various mysteries of life.

Wouldn’t it be great if those who wear an image of Mary around their neck - hold it for a moment - say a prayer for the day - or a Hail Mary - that they be full of grace - that they realize that,  “The Lord is with us today” - and do what Mary did - see everyone we meet as blessed - accept ourselves as not only graced and blessed - but we are sinners at times - and may that help us to understand each other better.

Wouldn’t it be great if we all prayed at least a Hail Mary together each day for peace in our world and in our families and work places and play stations.

And wouldn’t it be great if the father of each family - or mom - or both or all said the Aaronite Blessing each day or each night before going to sleep.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Around Your Neck”.

I once had a wonderful prayer experience.  I was simply sitting in prayer - and I sort of spaced out - perhaps even falling asleep - and I picture Christ as the Good Shepherd walking with me around his neck - like I was the lost sheep and he just found me.

I woke up and reflected on the possible message.  Christ is carrying me and all of us when we get  lost like stupid sheep around his neck. Then I began thinking how the underneath of a sheep must smell - and that’s me - skin to skin - my underneath - skin to skin -  to Jesus’ neck. Amen.

January 1, 2018

POTENTIAL

Happy New Year! 

January 1^st triggers 

various resolutions, 

which are triggered by our dreams,

which are triggered by our potential.

January 1^st hits us with hopes

because of its feeling of newness:

new calendar, new year.

We don’t think.

Instead, we dream 
that this new year

I’ll do more.

I’ll march more.

I’ll play more.
I'll pray more - better,
I'll pray better with the help of God.

I’ll use the gifts

I have been given more.

Amen!

HAPPY  NEW  YEAR

MAY GOD'S BLESSINGS 

FILL OUR HEARTS AND HOMES IN 2018

FAMILY  CONVERSATIONS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Family Conversations.”

Today we’re celebrating the Feast of the Holy Family.

I assume the call is to look at our family life and have a conversation on the question: “How are we doing?”  And then plan and work to make things better - if better is called for and agreed upon.

YESTERDAY - AT A WEDDING

I got the idea for this homily  from something a couple mentioned to me in a conversation we had yesterday at a wedding reception.

We were just standing there talking - at the tiny food time - hors d'oeuvres  - before the sit down dinner. It's the part of the wedding reception that I like the most. It's because it’s before the blast of the music. It’s when people can talk to each other. “How are you doing? What’s new? What’s happening? Haven't seen you in 100 years.”

Yesterday, this couple was telling me  that they used to do marriage preparation. This was years ago - up in New York - out on Long Island.

They said that 4 couples - who were to be married - would come to their house for 4 sessions - on 4 different nights. Their two sons loved it because around 5 PM they would say, “What are the goodies for tonight mom?”

This couple said, “Looking back we learned the most from doing this - more than the couples heading for marriage.”

How many times have we heard, the teacher learns the most - the preacher as well - hopefully.

Another couple who used to do this in Chicago had told me what they learned from helping with marriage preparation. It was this: the most important moment for most couples was when they asked a couple to say their vows - in a practice session - out loud to each other.

After hearing that, when I meet with couples, I’ve do that with every couple. I learned.

Well this couple yesterday said, “Couples told us that the most important thing they learned in their marriage preparation sessions with us was the drive home after  the evening sessions. They said they would be talking about stuff from that evening - stuff they had never talked about before.

If you’re married here's a question for you today: when was the last best conversation you and your spouse?"  What triggered it? What were the questions that came up? How did the conversation go? Any follow up?

SPECIFIC ISSUES

In thinking about this - last night - while putting together this homily  - I asked: “What are the key topics for conversation in marriage and family life?”

Obviously, the first question is the January government question: “The state of the union address - the state of the state address - or what have you.”

It’s the “How are we doing question?”

It's a good, "New Year's question."

My first week - in my first  assignment - Most Holy Redeemer Parish - on the Lower East Side of New York - a couple were coming in to talk about their upcoming marriage. I had just got out of the seminary and I had no clue about marriage. I was to find out I had no clue about anything.  That afternoon I just happened to pick up the New York Daily News and the Inquiring Photographer was a regular feature in that paper. A question was asked and 4 people would answer it. It was underneath  their photograph. Well, that day the question was about marriage and someone said, “The top three problems in marriage are: money, sex and in-laws.” Well, I told that couple that comment that night and they paused and said, “Wow! You’re right.” That was 1967.  Is that still right?

There’s a specific question for a couple to begin a conversation with: “What are our three top questions.”

When I am on Kairos' Retreats with our high school kids - St. Mary’s Kids - I’ve been on 34 of them so far - and a lot more retreats - with a lot more people before coming here - one of my first questions I ask kids in any small group I get: “What do meals look like in your family?”

I think every family needs to reflect on that question.

My second question would be “expectations”.

What do we expect around here?

Then after getting expectations - I like to ask people to add adjectives.

Key adjectives would be: unrealistic, unknown [as in I didn’t know that - or you never brought that up before].  Other adjectives would be: fair, unfair, changed….

The third question would be a fishing expedition. Okay, what else do we need to address. This could  bring up topics like time together, vacations, the Sabbath, anger, aging parents, money, costs, cleaning and chores, etc. etc. etc.

TO BE PRACTICAL

It might seem crazy, impractical - but I think families and/or couples should meet once a month - go for an hour or less - never going over 1 hour - having one person by name in charge as monitor - and having one other  member - as secretary with a spiral note pad - and hopefully at a second meeting - the notes from that earlier meeting will be read out for starters.

Let's be honest, we don't follow up.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Family Conversations.” 

Have you ever said in frustration: this place is a zoo. We have elephants in our living room, alligators in our basement, pit bulls roaming the house and as a result we have stuff that needs to be cleaned up - and there is no plastic bag big enough for the clean up.

As a family, why not talk about having that conversation - about having Family Conversations?