Sunday, September 24, 2017


MISTAKEN   IDENTITY

[I wrote a story - instead of a homily for this morning - because I have preached on this gospel  - lots of times - and the message is always - how we all yell to and at God down deep, “Not fair. Not fair.” I assume every sermon around the world this Sunday will be on that - fairness  and God - so I decided to see if I can get at these scripture questions by a story. So here goes: a story called, “Mistaken Identity.”]

Mistaken Identity….

This happened a long time ago.

It was a total accident - unplanned - not noticed - and life went on for these two baby boys. Both went home from the maternity ward at the hospital on the third day with the wrong mom and dad and families - but nobody knew it - till a long time afterwards.

A substitute nurse’s aide - was simply washing the babies around 4 P.M on the day after they were born - perfect births - no problems. 

Another nurse walked in - also a substitute -  and said, “I’m here. Your shift is up.”  Then she put the wrong white little t-shirt on the wrong kid as well as his identification tag, hat, blanket and what have you.

The next day they were both checked out of the hospital and got all the hugs and feedings and recognition a new born baby would get.

Through the years neither mom nor dad ever said, “I wonder if we took the wrong baby home when he was born.”

When things go funny with kids, parents at times have said that - but not with these two boys.

Jimmy  became one of 5 kids - the 4th brothers and then came the baby of the family, a sister, Molly.  Jason was an only child.

Jimmy’s family was mid-range poor; Jason’s family was mid-upper rich.

How much does being part of a big family effect who we are compared to being an only child?
How much does having new stuff - the best of stuff - effect who we become, compared to getting hand-me-downs.

Jason went to a private school - Catholic - and got a great education.

Jimmy did okay. He went to public school. One older brother, Mike, helped him with his math homework - every time.

Jimmy and Jason went to different high schools - and they actually played against each other once there - in a Friday night football game.
Jason’s dad was always on the road - but he did get to this one game.

That night Jimmy scored 3 touchdowns. He was a great wide receiver - fast - and had great hands. Jason played defensive back, but couldn’t keep up with Jimmy.

Jason’s father seeing Jimmy’s quick moves  - saw himself - back in his high school days - and he wished he had spent more time with Jason - practicing, practicing, practicing - like his dad had done with him. Maybe Jason has an inner wide receiver dying to get out.

Molly - once - seeing Jason getting out of his BMW - thought to herself. Lucky guy. His family must have money. Then the thought, “Wow he looks familiar.”

Jimmy’s family had their fun and they had their fights. They had their struggles and their successes.  Jimmy’s two older brothers got into the Naval Academy - and did very well.

Jason’s family was different. In fact, Jason was raised more by a nanny than by his parents. Dad was a vice president of a big company - and he was always on the road. Mom was the CEO of a small chain of perfume stores.

Oh they loved Jason and Jason never got into any problems - but he was often lonely and wondered at times, what it would be like to be in a big family.

Jokingly he said to himself: “When I get married, I hope we’ll be able to have lots of kids.”

Jimmy sometimes said the opposite. He was able to do fairly well in the local community college - but he wondered - if mom and dad had more dollars - he might have been able to get into a college down south - where he could pursue football - maybe - if he had  the opportunities.

Sometimes in the midst of all this, both Jason and Jimmy, would sometimes say in-loud to themselves, “Life is not fair.”

Someone said, “Teenagers say that 8 ½ times every day. It’s not fair.”   

Then they would add, “Nah, mom and dad are doing their best - and people in other places - have a lot more struggles than we do.”

At 27 years of age, one of Jason’s cousins asked him, if he or anyone in the family ever got their DNA tested?

Jason said, “Why? What? I heard about that. How does it work.”

“Well,” his cousin said, “In this one company all you do is send away for a kit - use your credit card - and you get this little tube you spit in. You send that away and 6 weeks later you get the results.”

Nobody - nobody asked the obvious. “Were there fingerprints?”

Jason’s dad said he heard about the DNA test from a guy at work, so he said, “Tell me when you get your results.”

6 weeks later - almost to the day - Jason found out that he was 92 percent Irish and 8 percent Iberian peninsula.

“That’s funny,” his mom said, “That’s really funny.  I always thought your dad and I were 100% Italian.”

His dad said the same thing.

It bothered his mom - and then his dad - enough - for them to get their DNA tested as well.

They called in, got their DNA kits in the mail, sent their spit, and surprise, 6 weeks later, back came the results.

“Uh oh!” Jason was definitely not their son.

They had to tell Jason - which was both a funny - but a nervous funny - moment as well as a big “Uh oh!” moment.

Jason’s dad - wasn’t a lawyer - but he was the type of guy who would dig into a situation like this big time.

Mom and dad made an appointment with an executive at the hospital - showed the results - and the hospital executive went, “Uh oh!” with his face.

They asked the hospital guy, “Has this ever happened before?”

“Not that I know of,” came the response. “But I heard it happening in Omaha, Nebraska once - or maybe it was Columbus, Ohio.”

Silence?

Then the executive said, “Do you want to pursue this any further?”  There can be possible big time and far reaching consequences on your son - and even on the your real son - if that happened?”

Silence.

The hospital executive continued, “We’re sorry - if there was a mix up - obviously. Why don’t you talk this over with your son - and explore the implications?”

They did.

They decided - to further explore - what might have happened - otherwise it might bug them for the rest of their lives.

Then dad said, “But what about someone else’s family - and some other kid -  if this is what happened - or what happened. Fair is fair.”

All three said, “Okay, let’s put this on pause. Let’s let this sit for a month.”

They did but it had begun to bug them.

So they went back to the hospital and asked if the hospital could do the research - any other boys born that day - on Jason’s birthday and go from there.

The hospital - fearing law suit - but also respecting the wishes of Jason’s family - said they would do an investigation.

They did. They narrowed the possible babies born that day - and that time - to four boys. They send two social workers to find these 3 other boys. They were very circumspect. This could be a bombshell of a newspaper story and give the hospital and this family - two families - unwanted notoriety. Two out of three were really shocked - made nervous - and only Jimmy was willing to go through the tests.

He was married at the time and had their first son: Jimmy Jr.

They were a match on both sides - and so yes - a mistake was made in the hospital - just after they were born.

Both fathers said, “What are we going to? We both love our sons.”

“Let’s get to know each other?

They became cookout friends and then better friends.

One day there, Jason’s father was looking at scraps from Jimmy’s high school days - and he spotted the newspaper clipping of  the night he saw Jimmy catch those 3 touchdowns as wide receiver.  Then looking around, he said to Jason’s father, “I sure wished Jimmy was my son that night - but don’t tell Jason that.”

In time both families had to deal with what happened. It was unique. Was it unfair? In the long run, both sets of parents were able to see the uniqueness of their situation. This would be a very, very rare occurrence. But many a family has that thought at times.

Through the years Jason and Jimmy would meet from time to time and compare notes - about comparisons - and what if’s - and even if this didn’t happen we would still have to deal with fairness questions, what if questions - and Jason said once there, “Wow, I have become blessed - no longer being an only child - but now a child in a family of five kids. Lucky me.”

At that Jimmy said, “Any time you want to get rid of your BMW, think of me Bro.

Saturday, September 23, 2017





FROM A FUNERAL PROGRAM

I spotted this on a program left in a bench from the funeral Mass here this morning for Edwin Wintermuth, IV at St. Mary's Annapolis, Maryland  His dates were October 8, 1933 till September 3, 2017. 



FROM LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA
BY GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ


If I knew today 
would be the last time I’d see you,
I would hug you tight and
pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul.
If I knew that this would be the last time 
you’d pass through this door;
I’d embrace you, kiss you 
and call you back for one more.
If I knew that this would be the last time 
I’d see you,
I’d tell you I love you and
would not just assume foolishly 
you know it already.
September 23, 2017





REFLECTIONS

Some views are better than other views,
so too reflections from where I live ....
Across the waters.... It doesn't get any better....
Sail boats waiting for the weekend.
A church steeple in my sky.
A light in my window. 
A bridge that leads me home
and water, water everywhere....
Amen.








Friday, September 22, 2017

September 22, 2017


SEASONS - DÉJÀ VU 

Winter: déjà vu, the snow
falls, the ground freezes,
the earth becomes sullen,
silent nights, slippery roads,
the inner longing for spring.

Spring: déjà vu,  the leaves
bud, becoming leaves,
becoming background, birds
find their way back to our
backyards, summer's coming.

Summer: déjà vu, watermelons
make their appearance along
with vacation, along with lawn
mowers, softball and Frisbee,
looking forward to cool of fall.

Autumn: déjà vu, leaves change,
leaves fall, the rustle of leaves,
giving hints of more changes
to come - Thanksgiving - frost -
decay - death at the edges of life.


 © Andy Costello, Reflections  2017



Thursday, September 21, 2017

Dear Brothers,

We are thankful to know that our confreres on Dominica and St. Croix are safe and sound after Hurricane Maria devastated those islands.  Now begins the hard task for our confreres in the Caribbean to not only rebuild our own rectories and places of worship but to work side by side with those trying to rebuild their homes and lives.   The ministry of our Caribbean brothers will indeed be long and tiring over the months to come.

I know donor fatigue may have already hit many of us with the recent Hurricanes Harvey & Irma as well as the earthquake in Mexico.  Hurricane Maria this week devastated Dominica, a beautiful island that I have been on in order to give several Redemptorist missions over the years and to attend various meetings there. 

Many of us have either ministered on Dominica or visited there in the past.  It is home to a number of Redemptortists who staff several parishes there as well as the retreat house in Eggleston.  Numerous Redemptorists come from the island and still have families living there. 

While the Redemptorists and the families of our Redemptorist confreres are safe there is much rebuilding that needs to be done.

Peter Hill asked me if we could set up a "go fund me" donation page and with Mary Weaver's help such a page now exists.  Those of us who are on social media (like FaceBook and Twitter) I ask that you share this site.  If you are not on social media, please email those you can with the link.  If you are a pastor, I ask that you get this link out to those in your parish via your parish bulletin or on your parish web site.

This is just the beginning of a long road to recovery and rebuilding for the people of Dominica and our confreres who minister on the island.  As a Province, we will have to continue to look at ways we can help the Redemptorists and the people of Dominica.  This is one immediate way we can help. 

Here is the "gofundme" page for Dominica:

From that link, there are buttons people can use to share on Facebook and Twitter.

When you share the link, it’s ideal if you can add a message to the post—something like this:

"Please help the #Redemptorists help the people of Dominica, whose homeland has been so devastated by #HurricaneMaria.  Your gift will allow us to bring emergency aid and to help people rebuild their lives.  Thank you for your goodness!"  (And of course, if a you are from or have ministered in Dominica or the Caribbean region, a personal note  to that effect would be great.)

Thank you for reading this email and helping any way you can.  May our Mother of Perpetual Help continue to watch over the beautiful people of Dominica.

In the Redeemer,
Paul Borowski, C.Ss.R.
_____________________________________
Provincial Superior
Redemptorists of the Baltimore Province
Office: 718-833-1668
Cell: 917-923-4841

"With Him is plentiful redemption." (Psalm 130: 7)




September 21, 2017

DISHWASHER

The dishes go in, come out,
are put away in the cabinet,
come off the shelf again, used to
serve us food over and over again.

Glasses and cups  too - same story -
serving us day after day, year after
year: table, sink, dishwasher and
then out again over and over again.

Each of us - enjoying meal after meal - 
at the family table - saying grace for 
our food - then washing dishes - well aware
that life is all about serving one another.


© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017





Wednesday, September 20, 2017

September 20, 2017


WORDS

“I love you!”

Think about how those 3 words
can mean so different - depending
on the moment: wedding day,
50th anniversary, or after a death
or a divorce or what have you.


© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017