Sunday, September 24, 2017


MISTAKEN   IDENTITY

[I wrote a story - instead of a homily for this morning - because I have preached on this gospel  - lots of times - and the message is always - how we all yell to and at God down deep, “Not fair. Not fair.” I assume every sermon around the world this Sunday will be on that - fairness  and God - so I decided to see if I can get at these scripture questions by a story. So here goes: a story called, “Mistaken Identity.”]

Mistaken Identity….

This happened a long time ago.

It was a total accident - unplanned - not noticed - and life went on for these two baby boys. Both went home from the maternity ward at the hospital on the third day with the wrong mom and dad and families - but nobody knew it - till a long time afterwards.

A substitute nurse’s aide - was simply washing the babies around 4 P.M on the day after they were born - perfect births - no problems. 

Another nurse walked in - also a substitute -  and said, “I’m here. Your shift is up.”  Then she put the wrong white little t-shirt on the wrong kid as well as his identification tag, hat, blanket and what have you.

The next day they were both checked out of the hospital and got all the hugs and feedings and recognition a new born baby would get.

Through the years neither mom nor dad ever said, “I wonder if we took the wrong baby home when he was born.”

When things go funny with kids, parents at times have said that - but not with these two boys.

Jimmy  became one of 5 kids - the 4th brothers and then came the baby of the family, a sister, Molly.  Jason was an only child.

Jimmy’s family was mid-range poor; Jason’s family was mid-upper rich.

How much does being part of a big family effect who we are compared to being an only child?
How much does having new stuff - the best of stuff - effect who we become, compared to getting hand-me-downs.

Jason went to a private school - Catholic - and got a great education.

Jimmy did okay. He went to public school. One older brother, Mike, helped him with his math homework - every time.

Jimmy and Jason went to different high schools - and they actually played against each other once there - in a Friday night football game.
Jason’s dad was always on the road - but he did get to this one game.

That night Jimmy scored 3 touchdowns. He was a great wide receiver - fast - and had great hands. Jason played defensive back, but couldn’t keep up with Jimmy.

Jason’s father seeing Jimmy’s quick moves  - saw himself - back in his high school days - and he wished he had spent more time with Jason - practicing, practicing, practicing - like his dad had done with him. Maybe Jason has an inner wide receiver dying to get out.

Molly - once - seeing Jason getting out of his BMW - thought to herself. Lucky guy. His family must have money. Then the thought, “Wow he looks familiar.”

Jimmy’s family had their fun and they had their fights. They had their struggles and their successes.  Jimmy’s two older brothers got into the Naval Academy - and did very well.

Jason’s family was different. In fact, Jason was raised more by a nanny than by his parents. Dad was a vice president of a big company - and he was always on the road. Mom was the CEO of a small chain of perfume stores.

Oh they loved Jason and Jason never got into any problems - but he was often lonely and wondered at times, what it would be like to be in a big family.

Jokingly he said to himself: “When I get married, I hope we’ll be able to have lots of kids.”

Jimmy sometimes said the opposite. He was able to do fairly well in the local community college - but he wondered - if mom and dad had more dollars - he might have been able to get into a college down south - where he could pursue football - maybe - if he had  the opportunities.

Sometimes in the midst of all this, both Jason and Jimmy, would sometimes say in-loud to themselves, “Life is not fair.”

Someone said, “Teenagers say that 8 ½ times every day. It’s not fair.”   

Then they would add, “Nah, mom and dad are doing their best - and people in other places - have a lot more struggles than we do.”

At 27 years of age, one of Jason’s cousins asked him, if he or anyone in the family ever got their DNA tested?

Jason said, “Why? What? I heard about that. How does it work.”

“Well,” his cousin said, “In this one company all you do is send away for a kit - use your credit card - and you get this little tube you spit in. You send that away and 6 weeks later you get the results.”

Nobody - nobody asked the obvious. “Were there fingerprints?”

Jason’s dad said he heard about the DNA test from a guy at work, so he said, “Tell me when you get your results.”

6 weeks later - almost to the day - Jason found out that he was 92 percent Irish and 8 percent Iberian peninsula.

“That’s funny,” his mom said, “That’s really funny.  I always thought your dad and I were 100% Italian.”

His dad said the same thing.

It bothered his mom - and then his dad - enough - for them to get their DNA tested as well.

They called in, got their DNA kits in the mail, sent their spit, and surprise, 6 weeks later, back came the results.

“Uh oh!” Jason was definitely not their son.

They had to tell Jason - which was both a funny - but a nervous funny - moment as well as a big “Uh oh!” moment.

Jason’s dad - wasn’t a lawyer - but he was the type of guy who would dig into a situation like this big time.

Mom and dad made an appointment with an executive at the hospital - showed the results - and the hospital executive went, “Uh oh!” with his face.

They asked the hospital guy, “Has this ever happened before?”

“Not that I know of,” came the response. “But I heard it happening in Omaha, Nebraska once - or maybe it was Columbus, Ohio.”

Silence?

Then the executive said, “Do you want to pursue this any further?”  There can be possible big time and far reaching consequences on your son - and even on the your real son - if that happened?”

Silence.

The hospital executive continued, “We’re sorry - if there was a mix up - obviously. Why don’t you talk this over with your son - and explore the implications?”

They did.

They decided - to further explore - what might have happened - otherwise it might bug them for the rest of their lives.

Then dad said, “But what about someone else’s family - and some other kid -  if this is what happened - or what happened. Fair is fair.”

All three said, “Okay, let’s put this on pause. Let’s let this sit for a month.”

They did but it had begun to bug them.

So they went back to the hospital and asked if the hospital could do the research - any other boys born that day - on Jason’s birthday and go from there.

The hospital - fearing law suit - but also respecting the wishes of Jason’s family - said they would do an investigation.

They did. They narrowed the possible babies born that day - and that time - to four boys. They send two social workers to find these 3 other boys. They were very circumspect. This could be a bombshell of a newspaper story and give the hospital and this family - two families - unwanted notoriety. Two out of three were really shocked - made nervous - and only Jimmy was willing to go through the tests.

He was married at the time and had their first son: Jimmy Jr.

They were a match on both sides - and so yes - a mistake was made in the hospital - just after they were born.

Both fathers said, “What are we going to? We both love our sons.”

“Let’s get to know each other?

They became cookout friends and then better friends.

One day there, Jason’s father was looking at scraps from Jimmy’s high school days - and he spotted the newspaper clipping of  the night he saw Jimmy catch those 3 touchdowns as wide receiver.  Then looking around, he said to Jason’s father, “I sure wished Jimmy was my son that night - but don’t tell Jason that.”

In time both families had to deal with what happened. It was unique. Was it unfair? In the long run, both sets of parents were able to see the uniqueness of their situation. This would be a very, very rare occurrence. But many a family has that thought at times.

Through the years Jason and Jimmy would meet from time to time and compare notes - about comparisons - and what if’s - and even if this didn’t happen we would still have to deal with fairness questions, what if questions - and Jason said once there, “Wow, I have become blessed - no longer being an only child - but now a child in a family of five kids. Lucky me.”

At that Jimmy said, “Any time you want to get rid of your BMW, think of me Bro.

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