Come on now, haven't we all felt that way at times?

“UH OH!  OH NO!”

[I heard this Sunday's gospel - Matthew 18: 11-35 - at yesterday's  4:30 PM Mass at St. John Neumann. After Mass Archbishop Lori blessed and dedicated the new field house. It hit me at the Mass - “When you preach tomorrow, don’t mess up or put a wet blanket on Jesus’ story about forgiveness.”

Then I said to myself, “Maybe no sermon at all would be best. But you’re expected to preach, so compromise by writing the same story in other words, so that everyone hears again Jesus’ message loud and clear.” 

So here’s Jesus’ story - in a 2017 version. I entitled my story, “Uh Oh. Oh No.” I love the words, “Uh oh!” because I used them once in a sermon and a little kid somewhere in the church yelled out - as an echo, “Uh oh!’ and it got a good laugh.]

UH OH!  OH NO!”

Jack was the head CPA for a chain of some 37 supermarkets.

His boss, Jim, spotted something wrong with the books - sort of by accident, sort of by intuition, sort of by instinct, sort of by experience.

He scratched his head one afternoon. He was by himself and he was looking at a spreadsheet on his computer and said, “Uh oh! Something’s wrong here.”

“Money’s missing.”

“These numbers don’t look right.”

They added up, but something was wrong.

It took Jim  2 1/2 months to figure it out. He figured out by the process of elimination that Jack - his chief accountant  - was the one who was stealing.

“Clever!” he thought. “Very clever.”

So one morning he asked Jack,  if they could meet over future planning.

Jack showed up. He had  no clue - that this moment was about to change his life.

Jim told Jack, “I noticed something’s funny with the books. They don’t add up.”

Jack thought to himself, “Uh oh! Oh no!”

[Silence.]

Jim was looking Jack right in the eye - and Jack nervously looked down.

“Jack, I figured out, it could only be you. We’re missing about $153,000 dollars. What happened?”

[Silence.]

Jack, rubbed his chin, scratched his Adam’s apple - pulling at it, and remained silent.

Jim repeated himself, “Jack, what happened?”

[Silence.]

“Are you and Alice having money problems? Is it gambling? Tuition? Mortgage? What?”

Jack started to cry. Jack started to crumble and mumble. Jack go up and walked over to the window. Jack was scratching the top of his head and rubbing his scalp with his nails very rigorously.

Jack  then sat down in a corner couch and said, “Jim, I’m sorry. I blew it.”

[Silence.]

“It was a whole series of things.”

“It started about a year and a half ago. Yeah it was tuition for starters. My two daughters wanted to go to college in out-of-state places. I was trying to be a good father - a good guy. ‘Wherever, I said ….’”

“Then it was my sister, she was stuck for money, and I gave her $5000.”

“Then it was credit card debt - about 10 credit cards - and I was the one who was so good with money.”

Jack began sobbing. Crying. Wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

“Jim, I’m sorry. Sorry. I betrayed you, us, the company.”

Jim remained silent and listened.

Jack said, “I don’t know what to say or do. Please, please, please. I can’t go to jail. I don’t know how I can repay you. In two years Alice and I can downsize and I can sell our house and I’ll try to pay you back slowly. I will. I will. Please.”

Jim came over to Jack and said, “Look. We have worked together for 17 years now. Let me see if I can help you get out of debt - so you can start again.

“I’ll forgive you everything - if you do me one favor. Let’s straighten out the books and you let me help you straighten out your money situation.”

Jack stopped sobbing and looked up at Jim’s face.

“What!  Why? You would do this for me?”

“Yeah,” said Jim. “When I first started working for this company I stole about $900 dollars. I needed money badly at the time.”

“I never got caught, but it has bothered me ever since.”

“In time I slowly put what I stole back into the till - little by little - or gave money to cashiers who I knew were low on cash.”

“But it has bothered me all my life.”

“What I want you to do is to let my forgiving you bother you for the rest of your life - especially when you see people not allowing other people to make mistakes.”

Then Jim said, “Jack I’m going out to one of our stores right now. Why don’t you just sit here for twenty minutes - and pull yourself together.”

Then Jim took out his wallet and took out $200 and said to Jack, “Here’s some money. Call Alice up and take her out for lunch. Enjoy.”

At Jack’s funeral, 27 years after that moment, his oldest daughter gave her dad’s eulogy. 

Amongst other things she said, “My dad was the most forgiving and understanding person I have ever known. He wasn’t always that way - especially when we were teenagers - but something happened that changed him - when we were in college - and wow. What a great guy to have as your dad.”

And Jim - sitting there - in church that morning wiped some tears from his eyes - but not the smile from his face.

September 17, 2017

COAST

There’s something about the coast

that grabs some people - while others

live out there with highways and towns

and cities as the edges of their existence.

Where were you born? What is the coast

of your where?  Where are you now?

I’ve lived much of my life on the edge

of water: the Atlantic Ocean, Spa Creek,

the Hudson, Lac La Belle, Wisconsin.

Do babies remember the sound and the

feeling of the fluid in their mother’s belly?

Do children love bathtubs, pools, hoses -

any water that reminds them of being

on the edge, the coast of their existence?

  

 © Andy Costello, Reflections  2017
Song Galway Bay, images of the coast
of Galway, Ireland where both
my parents are from.

September 16, 2017

SEEING  IS  BELIEVING! 

THAT  IS, IF  YOU  BELIEVE. 

See the light in the darkness....
See the green in between  
the slide of dark panels of darkness ...
as you walk through the dark forest ....
See the signs of God's green hope - 
light tipped leaves - light dipped leaves - 
when you're  scared of your steps .... 
putting one foot in front of the other - 
step by step - across the forest's ferny flaw*....

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017
*Cf. The Listeners [1912] by
Walter de la Mare

September 15, 2017

MATER  DOLOROSA 

You see her statue in many churches,

with swords stuck in her body like a

bull in a bullring - before the fall.

You see her face on the evening TV

screen - holding her dead child in her arms

with a scream on the skin of her face.

You see her face on the face of mother

nature - our planet - Mater Dolorosa.

There is suffering, suffering, everywhere.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017
Today, September 15, is the feast of
Our  Lady of Sorrows. Should they
have switched it down to September 11?

LEADERSHIP: 3 POINTS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my talk is, “Leadership: 3 Points.”

I have given a talk on leadership at this COSA ceremony at the beginning of another St. Mary’s High School year - every year now for the last 14 years.

Thank you for this opportunity to think about this topic of leadership again.

At 77 years of age - I would guess that I still have a few words about this topic.

So I sat down and listed 10 possibilities. Then I picked 3.

I’ll save the other points for another year.

POINT NUMBER ONE: ASK QUESTIONS - FOR EXAMPLE?

A leader asks questions.

A leader listens for the questions people have.

A leader has to address his or her own questions about leadership.

A leader is often expected to give answers. I prefer to stress questions before answers.

And I think the # 1 question to ask is, “For example?”

Asking that question gets the other person to think. It gets them to be more specific. The for example question forces clarity.

For example what are the specific issues we need to address when we talk about leadership?  Give me some examples.

So leaders ask other people questions - more than giving answers. and the number one question to ask is, “For example?”

I would think that example speaks louder than words - in fact, words to me are reflections and thoughts after the fact - after experiencing some example.

Looking forward, some of you will become coaches and captains of teams and for starters you will imitate the example of those you saw on the teams you were on.

Looking forward, some of you will be in organizations in this school - and future schools.

For example, some of you will experience COSA here at St. Mary’s. Those on COSA will influence you - in what you do and what you don’t do - how you saw people lead and not lead - how someone ran a meeting well or not so well. And what you will learn are the examples you liked and didn’t like.

Looking forwards, most of you will become parents, leading kids into the future, and you will do parenting the way you saw your parents do parenting. There will be things your parents did that you won’t do.

“For example?”

“For example?” is a great life question - to ask it a good 10,000 times before you die.

When someone is complaining - when someone is accusing you of something, ask - say, “For example?”

Let me give one of my favorite examples. It’s How To Use a Microphone.

COSA leaders - all leaders - learn how to speak loud and clear when you stand  up to speak up.

At different times in life, you will go to the microphone.

When I get a chance,  I like to tell anyone who will listen, “Here’s how I learned to use a microphone.”

For example, someone says to you, “You were at the microphone and it’s obvious, you don’t know how to use a microphone.”

So you answer back, “Sorry! So can you show me how to use a microphone?”  You’re asking, “For example, what’s the best way to use a microphone.”

It’s then I say, “Make a fist. Then make a ‘Thumbs up.’ with that fist. Then put your thumb on your lips - still making a fist. Then leaving your hand exactly as it is,  fold in your thumb.”

If you don’t know how to use a microphone, that’s Lesson  # 1. That’s how close you should be to the microphone - if you’re not sure.

Next, I would say, “If one person here this morning heard what I just said about how close you should be to a microphone - and puts it into practice for the rest of your life, then I have been a leader. Then it was worthwhile for me to come to this microphone to speak today.

I heard someone say and show that way to use a microphone in the 1970’s and I have been practicing that  ever since when I use a microphone.

For example, I was at a meeting on Riva Road on Opioids last Tuesday and I heard people yelling about 37 times to the people on stage, “Not loud enough!”

They were too far from the microphone.  They could not be heard. I was not in charge, so I didn’t say anything, but if I was in charge, I would show them the fist, thumb, to the mouth trick.

There are other tricks - but that’s one practical one. The Fist and Thumb to the Lips example.

Leaders need to be heard. Speakers need to be heard.

Learn how to yell at speakers, “Louder!” The other day a bunch of us were able to yell that out and some people got closer to the microphone.

Leaders need to be heard for starters.

SECOND POINT: THE TASTE TEST

In your lifetime you will experience a lot of laziness, craziness,  people making comments that are not thought out too well. People don’t prepare. People don’t to their homework. To put it bluntly: In your lifetime you will experience a lot of crap.

So my second suggestion for being a leader is that you learn to use the taste test.

It goes like this.

A person is walking down the street. He or she stops. They see something on the sidewalk. They go over to it and say, “It looks like.”

They get down on their knees, bend over it and smell it. “It smells like.” Then they take their finger and touch it and say, “It feels like.” Then they taste it and they say,  “Oooh. This is crap!” Then they say, “Good thing I didn’t step in it.”

A leader knows crap when they see, smell, touch,  taste and almost step in it.

For the rest of your life, you will experience people feeding you a lot of crap - in dating, with regards drugs, in business meetings, and especially regarding money.

People want your money and they will feed you a lot of crap to get it.

Don’t fall for it - and you what it is. It rhymes with it.

Remember you heard it  here - this second point about leadership.

THIRD POINT: BE A GLOBALIST

There are two kinds of people, those who build walls and those who build bridges.

I hold that good leaders build good bridges. I hold bad leaders build walls.

I don’t know how much it will cost to build a new Bay Bridge.

Ask those stuck on Route 50 on a Friday evening - as they inch their way forward so that they can cross the Bay Bridge - into Eastern Maryland or on Sunday night when they are coming home - whether they would want money spent on a bridge or a wall.

As priest - I know one of the key jobs for a priest is to build bridges.

As priest I know that the New Testament word for priest and pope is pontifex - meaning bridge.

I love Michelangelo’s painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Rome. It has God reaching out his finger to touch Adam’s finger. It then shows Adam  pointing his finger to touch God’s finger. It’s two fingers trying to bridge the distance between two people.

Notice God’s hand is not a fist.

If there is one thing I see happening around the world, it’s this call to be nationalists - isolationists - to build walls that separate people from people. It’s this urge to wall out people.

It’s this tendency to make fists - instead of open hands; to shake a fist at another instead of making an open hand to shake a deal with each other.

I see it in groups. People want to isolate and insulate each other from each other - to push away and bully people we don’t like.

A leader notices hands when with others.

It’s happening right now on the border between Myramar and Bangladesh. There is a group of people who are labeled the Myramar Rohingyas. They are Muslim. They are also labeled “the most friendless people in the world.” 300 to 400 thousand are trying to migrate and move - trying to find a place to live. Hindus and Buddhists, and other Moslems are giving this group of Muslims a tough time to find a place to exist.

If there is one thing in the world that is happening in the last 20 years it’s migration.

What’s your position on people coming into America? Wall them out or invite them in?

If there is one thing that’s happening in our world, it’s this brownification of peoples. Take the subway when you're in New York City or Toronto and look around at the color of the skin of the people traveling on faceship earth with you. People are migrating.  People are marrying. People are having multi-cultural babies. We are becoming one world - whether we like it or not.

For the sake of transparency I grew up within eye sight of the Statue of Liberty and its plaque invites the world’s tired and poor to come to America and join us.  Listen again to what that Statue says, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore, send these the homeless, tempest tost,  to all. I lift my flame beside the golden door.”

That is part of my Christian outlook on life.

It’s everyone’s earth.

All are welcome.

For the sake of transparency my parents came to America from another county - speaking both English and Gaelic. My parents had little education. My parents did what many people who come to America did. They earned money and sent it back home to pay for their brothers and sisters to come to America - as well as to feed those back home.

I’m 77. You’re 17 and younger. Lucky you: because you’re going to be seeing the world’s borders crumbling a lot more than ever in the next 50 years.

That means there will be pushback - and screams about immigration.

People are going to want more and more walls - so that what they perceive as their land and their stuff -  it will be protected.

Christians forget the Resurrection story - where God comes through walls.

So leaders have as one of their 3 key points: All are welcome.

I would hope that COSA leaders here in St. Mary’s would be highly in favor of no walls - no cliques - no isolating the different that who I am.

CONCLUSION

Let me close with a quote about leadership - that touches on  my 3 points for this morning: “A little old lady was refused a hearing by Alexander the Great. She spoke up and reprimanded him saying, `If you have no time for the little person as well as the big, you have no time to be King.’”  

September  14, 2017

THE WAY OF THE CROSS

My way, the high way,

at least that’s the way,

I expected today to go ....

But once again I forgot,

life and others have other plans ….

So the stations of the cross

that hang on the side walls

of every church now hung

in my center aisle. So where’s

my Simon, where’s my Veronica,

where’s our Mary to help me?

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

September 14: the Feast of

the Exaltation of the Holy Cross