WHAT  TO  DO? 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 23 Sunday in Ordinary Time [A] is,  “What To Do?”

Sometimes we don’t know what to do?

Sometimes we know what to do - but if we do - there are consequences - uncomfortable consequences - Uh oh consequences!

After all, who  wants to feel - the funny feelings we feel - when we feel we have to correct someone else? Those are some of the ugh moments of life.

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings make religion real.

Today’s reading puts some words that are covered with sandpaper into our ears and then into our mind. As they slide down our ear canal they can rub us the wrong way.

So and so is drinking too much, do we say or do anything?

So and so is cheating on his or her spouse, do we do anything?

So and so is killing themselves by overeating - do we intervene?

Today’s readings touch on this issue of what to do.

Ezekiel - in the first reading - tells us - we are appointed by God to be watchmen and watchwomen and warn those who are being wicked - to tell them, “This is killing you.” and / or, “This is killing us and others.”

You’re kidding.  Nope. That is what Ezekiel is saying.

If the other kills themselves and we didn’t do anything to warn them, then Ezekiel says, God is saying, “I am holding you responsible. But if we warn the other and they refuse to turn from their wicked ways, the other will die from their guilty behaviors, but we will save ourselves.

The second reading tells not to owe anyone anything  - except our love for them.

Translated: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. This means not doing any evil to another - no adultery, no killing, no stealing, no wanting their stuff.

And the gospel comes back to the watchman or watchwoman theme.

If your brother or sister sins against you, tell them their fault - but just between the two of you.

If they won’t listen to you, get two or three witnesses, and you and they together confront the person who is messing up - and if the person won’t listen to the 3 or 4 of you, then go the larger community and all of you challenge the person messing up.

If the other still won’t listen, then cut them out of your life.

But Jesus in today’s gospel  adds - pray for that person - and it seems to be saying, “Do that prayer as a group."

The title of my homily is, “What To Do?”

FURTHER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS

One of my favorite sayings is, “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’” That’s found in the Jewish Talmud.

Years and years ago - before being  here in Annapolis - I remember being stationed with a priest who had a drinking problem.

Yes, we experience in the rectory, what many families experience in their home. We have an old saying: Rectories can be wrectories.

We talked about “What to do?” hundreds of times about this guy.

A good dozen times we told this guy he has a drinking problem 1 to 1 as well as 5 or 6 to 1.

Nothing worked. He spent his life in a daze.

I write and I remember writing out of frustration a short piece and it’s published in one of my books. I never showed it to the guy - but I looked it up today while writing this homily.

TO AN ALCOHOLIC

The speed of the suicide

depends upon the mind of the person.

Just the other day

I was reading in the paper

about this man in Florida

who blew his brains out

with just one shot.

That’s all it took,

that’s all it took, just one shot.

And as I put down

the paper I wondered

about you sitting there

with another drink

in your hand

and it’s not even

noon-time yet.

You’ll never make headlines.

But I suppose someday soon

I’ll read it in the paper

or hear that you died,

and I suppose very few

will know you’ve

been blowing your brains

out for years, 

yesterday,

today, everyday,

with many shots.

And I ask myself:

should I tell you what

I’m reading or should

I guess how long it will take?

There it was. I was facing what I’ve heard from my own family members - as well as lots of people asking a priest - the title of this homily, “What to Do?”

However this same guy once said about another, but similar situation,  “I’m not going to tell you or him about his problem. I have to live with you or him.”

So we ask others to intervene. So we send anonymous letters. So we go to AL anon.

And sometimes if we tell another why people are having problems with them, things get worse - things get uncomfortable.

I remember a moment when I was a young priest in my first assignment. 

Someone called and asked to see me. They wanted me to be the messenger of tough news to a family member. So I called and met with the person whom nobody would tell them about their problem. Then when all hell broke loose, the person who asked me to deliver the poison meatball said, “I didn’t tell you to do that.”

They didn’t sue me - but I learned my lesson - big time. I never did that again. But I did learn better and more difficult ways to get people to confront each other. Tough stuff….

CONCLUSION

Most of the time - it’s my experience - that most of life - sad to say - is kept in the bottom drawer, swept under the rug, grin and bear it, because we have to live with one another.

Most of the time - it’s my experience - that sometimes people change - wake up - improve - or die and the problem is solved.

Most of the time - it’s my experience - that when we hear people complaining about others  - it’s smart to ask oneself  the biblical question, that the disciples said at the last supper when Jesus said, “One of you will betray me?” and they asked, “Is it I Lord?” So when people are complaining about a, b, or c, - it’s a good idea to pause and see where I have to change concerning a, b, c, or d, e and f - or whatever the problem is.

Agree or disagree?

STICKY!  STICKY! 

INTRODUCTION: STATING THE PROBLEM

The title of my homily for this 23 Sunday [A] is, "Sticky! Sticky."

Today’s readings challenge us with one of life’s stickiest problems: to warn or not to warn; to correct or not to correct; to confront or not to confront; to blow the whistle or not to blow the whistle?

None of us wants to be called nosy or a busybody. Who of us wants to be seen as a snitch? Didn’t Jesus say, “Let the one without sin cast the first stone”?

EXAMPLE

A mom is shopping with two close friends at a mall a good hour and a half away from where they live. It’s close to lunch, so one of the ladies says, “I know a nice cozy restaurant just down the road from here.”

The restaurant is crowded -- but the three get seated in a back corner. 

“Uh, oh!” 

The mom sees her married daughter in a booth on the other side of the restaurant with a man other than her husband. And they are being lovey dovey. The daughter doesn’t spot her mother. And thank goodness, the other two ladies don’t spot the mother spotting the daughter and the man she’s with.

So the mother keeps cool and doesn’t let the other ladies know what she’s noticing. Her daughter is not facing her. The mother sees them stand up to leave. They are holding hands on the way out. Arms and shoulders are touching. She mutters to herself another inner, “Uh, oh!” They go outside -- out of view -- but surprise, she sees both of them in the parking lot through the restaurant window giving each other a kiss goodbye and both get into their separate cars. Yes, it’s her daughters maroon Camry - with the gray car child seat.

Obviously, the mom didn’t enjoy the lunch with her good friends.  The other two ladies didn’t seem to notice. All she could think of was her 3 grand kids. All she could think of was her son-in-law. All she could think of was, “Keep cool! Stay calm. What do I do now? To talk to my daughter or what?” Obviously, she didn’t taste the chef salad she ordered -- nor the pie a la mode she had for dessert out of nervousness.

MORE EXAMPLES

A husband, a boss, a priest, a wife, a son, a daughter, a parent, is drinking too much. What to do?

A college basketball referee is gambling. Another referee, whom he does games with, is in the locker room before the game and accidentally overhears the other referee making bets on his iphone before the game. During the game he keeps wondering about some key calls the other ref makes. Is he or isn’t he? What to do?

An accountant in a big company begins to spot some “funny” numbers. Are we being embezzled? Are we? But this accountant has 5 kids and her husband is out of work the last 4 months and so she really needs this job. She need this job big time. What to do?

None of us wants to be called nosy or a busybody. Who of us wants to be seen as a snitch? Didn’t Jesus say, “Let the one without sin cast the first stone”?

HOMILETIC REFLECTIONS: TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings deal with this basic issue of speaking up -- of warning others -- of blowing the whistle -- of correcting others.

In today’s first reading, Ezekiel is appointed watchman for the house of Israel. He is called upon to watch the people and when wicked, to warn them. This is the prophet’s calling; this is the prophet’s job.

Still stronger, Ezekiel says if the watchman sees a danger and doesn’t sound a warning, he or she is responsible for all disasters and damage that happens.

As one glides through the Old Testament, this image of the watchman on the walls of the city is very common. Like a rooster he cries out when “Morning has broken!” But his main job was to stand on the walls or in a watchtower and spot possible enemies. The watchman is the eyes and ears of a city - especially in the night.

And obviously, the prophets being poets, would use this image of watchman for their call to warn the people of sins that could destroy them.

Prophets and preachers are called to yell out “The Word of the Lord”. They are called to speak “the mind of God”. They are to tell people “the Will of God”. This is an awesome responsibility. And at times it can be an awfully dangerous job. It can land a prophet in jail or a pit or on a cross.

Is it everyone’s call? Is it the call of the Christian?

Today’s gospel touches on this touchy situation as well: this call to correct a brother or a sister who sins against us.

But who wants to correct others? Who wants to be called nosy or a busy buddy? Who wants to be called a mud slinger? Who wants to rock the boat? Who wants to be called a “Whistle Blower?” Who wants to be told, “Mind your own business?” Who wants to run the risk of having mud thrown back in one’s face. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

Today’s readings give us the issue, the motive and a method for correcting, warning, confronting or blowing the whistle on another person.

Ezekiel tells us to do to speak up.

Paul tells us why to do it. Jesus tells us how to do it.

It would seem that the “why?” is the key. The motive always has to be love. Paul tells us that’s what we owe each other: to love one another. When we do that we fulfill the law.

And Paul continues in today’s second reading by stating the Golden Rule: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Paul says that is underneath the commandments that we don’t commit adultery, steal, covet, “and whatever other commandment there may be.”

We wouldn’t love it or like it if someone hurt us in these ways, so we shouldn’t break any of these commandments and hurt others.

So the motive is love. “Love is the fulfillment of the law.”

If our motive is the “get” another, then we should not proceed further with the “how” question.

If our motive is love, then in God’s good time, we can proceed with Jesus’ method of correcting another.

We all have heard Jesus’ method of fraternal correction since we were kids. First go to the person one to one. If that doesn’t work, go to him or her a second time with two or three witnesses. If this doesn’t work, go to the church community with the problem. If this doesn’t work, then exclude him or her from the community.

CONCLUSION

Now this is antsy stuff. This is tough love stuff. This is painful stuff. This is sticky, sticky stuff. This is stuff we are stuck with doing - as Christians - as long as we are doing this with love. Amen.

September 10, 2017

Reflections

WHAT'S THE STORY

Sometimes all we do is read the cover,

without opening the book and reading

the story. Sometimes we don't listen.
Sometimes we don't know. Sometimes

it's none of our business? Sometimes 

we just walk in our own shoes and 

never find out the rest of the story

of the others in our life. Sometimes

if another was judging us - as we judge

others - we'd be furious and angry.

So that's the story going on in everyday

minds and in everyday conversations.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

September  9,  2017

YARD  SALE

It was Saturday - a slow Saturday….

It was in between busy times and

busy enterprises - so I went to 
several yard sales. I started to see

different things I didn’t want to see:

canes, walkers and wheelchairs. 
So I said to myself: “Not yet."
I realized at that moment I have to
start seeing different things than 

canes and walkers and wheelchairs.
Those days will come - but right now
I have to see and do better things than 
yard sales on do nothing Saturdays.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

September 8, 2017

A FEATHER

A feather in the air - landing
in the grass - me wondering 
where it came from.... Was it

from a bird soaring in the late 
afternoon sunset? Or was it

part of a chief’s headpiece

or a society lady’s latest hat?

I noticed its silent soft landing -
a feather in the grass.... Well,
I'm wondering where I've been,
my landings soft and silent,
my departures loud and hard.
Looking back will I ever be
able to put a feather in my cap?

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

September 7, 2017

MOTIVE?    

Whether we read mystery novels

or detective stories - our mind is

always wondering,  “Motive?”

She said that because she wants

me to think she’s smarter than I

think she thinks she is.

He did that because he wants me

to do something for him that I wasn’t

planning to do in the first place.

Pay backs? Getting even? Flirting?

Money? Guilt? Deflecting? Scared?

Being noticed? Not wanting to do it?

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017