May 22,  2017

BLUR

Sorry to say, I’m missing too much:

faces, conversations, the happenings

of my day - as I spin by the moments

of my life. I forget to look people 

in the eye.  Too much is a drive by. 

Oh, at night I stop to see and think

about some of what I saw that day 
and jot down some notes and tidbits
in a journal - but still too much is a blur. 

Sorry …. Sorry …. But tomorrow will be

different - at least that’s my night 

prayer - every night - after the

“Sorry …. Sorry …. Sorry ….” speech.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

MEETINGS: 

ON  BEING  HC 

  

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 6^th Sunday after Easter [A] is, “Meetings: On Being HC.”

HC stands for Humanly Correct.

I prefer that to PC:  “Politically Correct”  - because PC is a button for some people - and then the listening stops.

But to be humanly correct - now that can open up possibilities.

2^ND    EUCHARISTIC PRAYER FOR RECONCILIATION

In the Roman Missal there are 10 Eucharistic Prayers - that the priest can use when celebrating Mass. I have found that the 2^nd Eucharistic Prayer for Reconciliation has some powerful words to pray with and be about.

I’ve been using this prayer a lot - especially because of the mood I hear in some current conversations and on TV political talk shows. I’m going to use it today - so let me preface that use with a reading of  the preface for this 2^nd Eucharistic Prayer for Reconciliation.

It is truly right and just

that we should give you thanks and praise,

O God, almighty Father,

for all you do in this world,

through our Lord Jesus Christ.

For though the human race

is divided by dissension and discord,

yet we know that by testing us

you change our hearts

to prepare them for reconciliation.

Even more, by your Spirit you move human hearts

that enemies may speak to each other again,

adversaries join hands,

and peoples seek to meet together.

By the working of your power

it comes about, O Lord,

that hatred is overcome by love,

revenge gives way to forgiveness,

and discord is changed to mutual respect..

Therefore, as we give you ceaseless thanks

with the choirs of heaven,

we cry out to your majesty on earth,

and without end we acclaim.

Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of hosts….

That’s it: the opening words of the 2^nd Eucharistic Prayer for Reconciliation.

BALTIMORE PROVINCE RENEWAL TEAM

The Redemptorists of Baltimore Province -  are the ones who serve  here at St. Mary’s. Years ago we freed up 3 guys - to work full time to get us Redemptorists to meet together - to work together better - to listen to each other more -  to be reconciled to each other - to dream together.

It lasted 4 years. I was on that team for 1 year and I found out how difficult it is to get people to meet together - to talk together - to be on the same page together - to work together.

We made progress - then we made the decision to end it - and move on.

Communication - community - family - marriage - tough stuff - that takes work and practice.

People sometimes think we priests don’t know enough about marriage and family life.  Hey, I live with 10 other priests - which gives me an advantage in knowing how other human beings operate and are.  Okay it’s not marriage.

The first step for communication is to be willing to meet together.

Some people refuse to do even that. I’m aware of that right now in my own family.  It’s a bummer.  As priest I've heard about many families.

We are all aware of the story of Adam and Eve. Everything was nice - but naïve - that is till Adam and Eve broke the rule God gave them. You can eat everything and anything in the garden - except the forbidden fruit.

You know what Adam and Eve did next. Where is it?

Then they hid. They were exposed. They saw their nakedness. They didn’t want to meet with God in the garden - after what they just did.

And God asked a key question: Where are you?

That’s the first question we have to ask each other when we are not meeting or not reconciled with each other.

Where are we?

The next steps are the human steps - if we want to be HC, that is, humanly correct with each other.

These steps would be the virtues of honesty and respect.

It's important to put everything on the table - if possible - but with respect - care - and caution.

The table - the altar - that holds bread and wine - and the possibility of holy communion - also needs to be the place of sacred words with each other.

I notice in every picture of meetings of Palestinians with Israelis - that they have food on the table.

If we can’t eat with each other - if we can’t talk with each other - if we can’t stomach each other - if we can’t listen to the other person’s perspective - we are not going to be able to work out a compromise and a covenant with each other.

It would be very wise to keep things simple.

Jesus was being very wise when he told us to be like children - to not let our egos get in the way.

These are some of the humanly correct things to do and how to be with each other.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM - LAND

In every room where there is discord and dissension - there is an elephant.

It would be easier if it was a lamb. Them we can slay!

In today’s first reading we have this sentence as its opening words, “Philip went down to the city of Samaria and proclaimed Christ to them.”

Mention of Samaria triggered this homily - that is, when I looked up on the Internet information about Samaria.

In January of 2000 I stood there in Israel and Palestine and our guide pointed north to a hilly area and said, “That’s Samaria.”

I didn’t know we were not going to go to Samaria in our bus. I wanted to - but no go.

In that area Samaria is the one of the big elephants.

It always has been.

In the time of Jesus it was - and way before that.

Way, way back in BC times, foreign invaders conquered that area and marched away the people there and brought in people from other conquered places. Divide and conquer.

The people of Samaria were not liked by the people of the rest of Israel.  The feeling was mutual.

When we hear the Gospels, we often hear mention of the Samaritans.

The gospel writers tell us that it was a Samaritan - who was the one person with leprosy who was healed and came back to thank Jesus. The woman at the well and the people there were Samaritans.  The one person who stopped to help the guy beaten up on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho was a Samaritan - a good one at that.

And if we study the New Testament enough - we find out that the early Christians were not just Jews - not just Gentiles - but some were Samaritans.

There is a key message there: Christianity is a religion where everyone is invited to the table.

In a video that the White House put out on Friday they omitted Golan, Judea and Samaria from the map of Israel. Then that video was removed from the Internet.  A week earlier, the U.S. Embassy in Saudi Arabia, edited out of a video that our president will visit Israel on this trip. 

In looking up stuff about Samaria I saw all this.

I also read that when it comes to Samaria - some describe that area as the West Bank. Some then  point out that is a phrase from the last century and not before that. Articles also point out that fights about Samaria continue - on maps, in reports, in newscasts, in videos and on and on and on.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Meetings: On Being HC.”

On major land issues like Israel, Palestine, people need to continue to meet together.

Human qualities like honesty, fairness, history, background, acknowledging buttons, forgiveness, and compromise are called for - and a lot more.

That’s the big picture.

When there is discord and dissension in our families - or at  work - or on teams - or on politics - or with the persons next door or in the apartment above or below or next to us -  it’s up to us - to do our part to be humanly correct - humanly caring - even if the other isn’t.

VESTMENTS

In our Masses and Baptisms here at St. Mary’s and St. John Neumann’s churches we sometimes use vestments with images of children on them. When using them I often get comments about how neat they are.

I’ve also got the thought: why doesn’t the same company or other companies make similar vestments with images of senior citizens on them?

Or families? Or cities? Or workers? Or people playing sports?

When I went on line, sure enough, there are various unique vestments. Some are a bit much and too, too expensive. 

Yet, the possibilities are endless.  Is there a Michelangelo of the Sistine Chapel Ceiling fame - who could make great vestments?

We also have here a few stoles with images of animals on them. They seem to represent  the Biblical scene of creation or Noah’s Ark. Sometimes in wearing that stole I see little kids during a baptism staring at images.  Yet I hesitate to guess how and what little kids see.

At Mass what are we supposed to be seeing or thinking about?  Purists might scream at a vestment showing little children on them. Or if I had my way, why not have vestments with images of 17 people in wheelchairs or Down Syndrome kids at a party? 

Check out stained glass windows. They could use a make-over as well. The images have to be lasting - people will be looking at them for centuries.  Great images can call us to greatness.  I’m not an artist - but I’ve seen some art work in stained glass windows that do not have a grab in them.

I made a retreat once in a mother house in Kentucky and they had wonderful hanging tapestries that were put up for different seasons. I thought they were neat - and gospel driven - and one super way to get the Good News of Jesus proclaimed.

If someone who wants to start a cottage industry with more of these image driven vestments, start with senior citizens. Check out Normal Rockwell images and gather great artists. Go for it.

P.S.  I noticed that a Vestment Making Company is called, “Theological Threads.”  How about that?

May 21, 2017

FAMILIAR  SCENES 

Mom, dad, brothers, sisters ….

Bread, wine, a table ….

Gatherings - of all sizes and shapes ….

Work ….

Water ….

Sleep ….

Shadows - how they vary and rotate ….

Sports - games - skills - running ….

Travel - wheels, walking, rushing ….
Seats - getting a seat - offering a seat ….

Lost and found …. keys and people ….
The poor and those who want more ....
God searchers and God deniers ....

Arrivals and departures ….

Waiting and looking out windows….
Birds returning ....
Dogs barking ....

War, violence, rage and killing ….

I hate it that I had to add that last one ….

 © Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

May 20, 2017

THE  RECKONING 

Some deny there is a hell;

some deny heaven as well.

Some say I’ll find out when I die,

so why worry about it - here and now.

Some deny consequences;

some deny reckonings;

some refuse to see what’s always

sitting there - just 10 yards away.
 

Some deny there is an aftertaste -

after every bite we take -

from the tree of good or evil -

from the tree of life or death.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

MAY 19, 2017

DELICIOUS  RED  APPLE 

A delicious red apple

juicy, perfect, sweet

was just handed to me.

Bite, bite, bite, bite,

bite, bite, bite, bite,

bite, bite, bite, bite.

Glad I took it, because later

on that day I saw its twin
laying on the ground, decaying.

My life: I want my life

to be,  Apple A, and

not its twin, Apple B.

 © Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

REMAIN

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 5^th Thursday in Easter is, “Remain.”

I noticed in today’s gospel that the word, “remain” is used three times.

Jesus tells his disciples 3 times to “remain in my love.”

MARRIAGE IN THE NEXT TEN YEARS - REMAINING IN LOVE

You are all just around 17  years of age - juniors in high school - just at the edge of your last year at St. Mary’s.

Most of you will be married in the next 10 years - most closer to 27 years of age - if the current trend of when people get married happens.

Most of you will take it for granted you’ll remain in love for the rest of your lives.

Some of you will; some of you won’t.

And one of the toughest experiences in life - is broken love.

And some of you will experience broken love.

One of you will break it off.  Sometimes the gal does it; sometimes the guy does it.

One is usually more crushed than the other - torn,  hurt - and then there are the others in your lives - those who love you - and how they deal with what has happened to both of you.

BACK TO THE GOSPEL

So when Jesus tells his disciples to remain in his love - he’s talking about heavy stuff here.

And Jesus gives his motive for his message, “I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy may be complete.”

200 MEN IN DENVER

Years ago I flew out to Denver to do a wedding.

I went to the downtown church where the wedding was to take place.

It was around noon - lunch time - on a Friday when I came to the church.

I noticed this line of about 200 men - all men - heading for a door to what looked like a school building next to the church.

They looked scrubby - homeless - burnt out.

I went into the rectory to introduce myself  - and say I’m here for the wedding tomorrow, Saturday, and the rehearsal, later on that Friday at 5 PM.  Then I asked the receptionist at the church, who were the men on line outside.

She said, “Oh, they are here for lunch at noon. We get about 200 men every day.”

“Wooooh!” that hit me.

I thought about them - 200 husbands, sons, fathers, broken men - with families all over the United States.

I imagined the 1800’s. These would be the cowboys, drifters, miners heading for the Gold Rush, outlaws - all those men I have seen in 200 Westerns.

I imagined there were families in Boston, Chicago, Chattanooga, wondering where their dad or husband or father was.

I didn’t know anything about any one of these men - but I pictured them as broken men - in whose lives - love did not remain.

SUITCASE STORY

Here’s my suitcase story. I can tell it now. My mom is long dead.

I’m 30 years of age. I’m visiting my mom at her house in Brooklyn with a classmate.  My sister Mary is sitting there on the couch with my mother.

Something triggers stories about when we were kids.

My sister starts to  kid my mother about her suitcase trick.

When the four of us kids were fighting - and my dad was at work - my mom would get up and head for the closet and take her coat off a hanger - put it on - and grab a suitcase and tell us she’s leaving us - because we were fighting.  I was the youngest so I would grab my mother by her leg to stop her at the door.

“Well,” she would say, “Okay. I’m not leaving you - but next time you are fighting - I’m leaving.”

Any my mother and my sister on the couch were laughing.

At that moment - at 30 - I found out that was play acting. I thought it was real back then - and it remained in my sub-conscience that way.

Being a tiny kid, I thought  it was real - that I was about to lose my mommy.

As I thought about that - I realized I was every little kid I have ever  seen - clinging to his mother or father - when they see a dog or a stranger.

I was every kid screaming, “Remain with me!”

I was every kid screaming, “Don’t leave me.”

That was a life moment at 30 and a life moments when I was a tiny kid.

I’m sure if my mother realized one of us might be taking this for real - she wouldn’t have done it.  It was a mistake - and looking back I obviously forgave her.

Jesus said, “Unless you be like little children, you won’t see the Kingdom of God.”

When it comes to feelings - deepest feelings - we're touching childhood experiences - revisited. 

Revisit the work of Eric Bern and Thomas Harris - in Transactional Analysis. They did work in describing the theory of the 3 human states we can find ourselves in: parent, adult and child. 

And the child state is when we are into deep emotions and feelings.

Every human being needs people to cling to - hold onto - to scream to others, “Remain with me.”

Every couple is relying on the other remaining in love with them.

CREMAINS

There is a new word that has come out in the past 25 years.  It’s “cremains.”

It’s the cremated remains of someone who has died.

For a funeral, the cremains are often in a beautiful box or urn made of wood or ceramic or marble or metal.

The Catholic Church stresses that people be buried in sacred places.

I’ve seen people bringing the cremains home.

I’ve heard of people putting a tiny bit of the cremains of a loved one in a locket  and they wear it around their neck.

I’ve heard of people waiting a while before they bury the cremains of a loved one.

Thinking about this, I see that  one advantage of a casket - and not cremating a love one - keeping the whole body of the deceased for burial  - gets people to bury the dead. It would be very odd to keep a casket with a loved one.

Jesus was touching on human behavior when he said, “Let the dead bury the dead - and move on.”

It’s tough enough dealing with death.

We need grieving time and slowly letting go time - and people do what they have to do - sometimes odd or different - sometimes doing something that they learn from in time. I realize the church has practises about all this - but I’m into the school of hiding, that is, letting people figure out and work out how they are going to deal with death. However, if asked - I advise people to cry, walk, and bury their dead - and give themselves time to mourn - from a distance. 

WHAT REMAINS

I love to tell the story of a rose petal.

I was in our living room as a kid and my dad was in his favorite chair reading the paper.

I opened up one of my dad’s favorite books, The Best Loved Poems of the English Language. I discovered a dried up delicate red rose petal on one of the pages.

I’ve told this story several times.

I brought the book over to my dad - wide open - like an offertory procession - with the red rose petal right there on an open page.

I asked my dad, “What’s this?”

He looked at it and said with his rich smile all over his face, “Memories.”

What remains?

For starters memories.

For starters stories.

For starters all the things our parents did for us.

My dad would take the 4 of us down to  Bliss Park in  Brooklyn when we were kids or to the football games down along the shore or to the Staten Island Ferry.

He was giving my mother a break for a few hours every Sunday after we came home from Mass and after breakfast.

I noticed my brother did the same thing: taking his kids to Washington D.C. to see the museums - to give his wife Joanne a break.

What remains - how our parents raised us.

CONCLUSION

Father Matt Allman is with us today. He has the job of trying to invite young men to join the Redemptorists.

I have become a Redemptorist and remain one - because we need priests to preach good values and Good News to people.

A priest came into our classroom in grammar school. He was a Redemptorist working in Brazil and he told us what he did and he invited us to think about becoming a priest.

I heard his message and  it remained with me.

I invite you to become priests.

Father Matt knows a priest friend of mine, Tom Barrett. We worked together for 8 ½ years before I came to St. Mary’s. I remember Tom telling folks his vocation story.

He saw a Redemptorist priest preaching and praying the Our Lady of Perpetual Help Novena in our parish with that name in Brooklyn.  Praying there he said to himself, “I could do that.”  Then in time he said, “I would like to do that.”  Then in time he said, “I choose to do that.”

That experience - that dream - remained with him for his whole life.

I ask you on this retreat to get in touch with what’s remaining with you - your dreams, your hopes, your visions, your family values. Amen.