The title of my homily is: “Starting
Over and Over Again.”
I’d like to reflect a little bit on
the basic theme of conversion – or starting over and over again.
Today’s gospel continues the story
of Nicodemus from the 3rd chapter of John. The obvious theme that
keeps hitting me is the one we’ve been hearing: being reborn, starting over and
over again.
But the nuance I’d like to stress is
not one conversion or two conversions, but one’s whole life as a series of many
conversions, so called on-going conversions.
I LED THREE LIVES
When I was a teenager in the 1950's there was a book and later
a TV series, staring Richard Carlson, years ago, that was called, “I Led Three Lives.”
I only remember that he was a spy as
well as a counter-spy – with the name, “Herbert Philbrick.”
That title, “I Led Three Lives”hit me as I reflected on this theme of
conversion and starting all over again and again. We live and lead many lives.
Conversion is moving towards the
best life we can life – to move towards what the Marine advertisement says, “To
Be all we can be.”
THE NATURAL
Then there was the book and later
the movie, The Natural. It had a
scene that fits right in here loud and clear.
Glenn Close, plays the part of Iris Gaines. She is standing by the bedside of Roy Hobbs, played by Robert
Redford. He just told her how much he messed up his life. On the way to spring training to join the team that signed him, he met this mysterious woman in black. He saw her once. Once. That obviously changed the path of his life. He had a
very promising baseball career and he is shot by her. Glenn Close is standing
there listening to him tell this story in a hospital room. And she says, “I think we
have two lives. The one we live and
learn from and the one we then do the rest of our life with after the learning.
Hopefully, we live and we learn and
then live.
PATTERNS
But looking at my life, thinking
about issues which I need to change, and grow from, eating patterns, sleeping
patterns, work habits, prayer habits, etc. I see that there are many
conversions, many ups and downs in life.
POEM CALLED NICODEMUS
Here is a poem - called "Nicodemus" - which I wrote way back for a book of night prayers.
NICODEMUS
(John
3:1-21)
This time
in the wind,
in the night,
I stand at the door, Lord,
and knock once again.
I come,
empty and afraid,
asking, seeking, knocking,
hoping you will open up
your door to see me once again.
I enter
with fears and doubts,
questioning whether
it’s really worth it
to start my life all over once
again.
I’ve been
reborn too many times.
There have been too many
conversions.
Why should I rise this time
knowing that I’ll probably fall once
again.
And yet, Lord,
after each fall
this urge to come back to you,
the way, the truth and the life,
stirs in me once again, like the
Wind.
PROBLEM
One conversion can often be great.
There is the honeymoon and the
infatuation period. Then there is the struggle and often disillusionment period
that follows.
And then if we fall again, that
second conversion, doesn’t have the bells and the whistles, and bragging
rights, that the first conversion had.
I would think there is a vast difference
between a second marriage or a third marriage - compared to a first marriage.
THE LORD DOES NOT GET ANGRY
Today’s gospel talks about the wrath
of God and I often feel antsy when I mention that while reading the gospel.
One writer, speaking of the text
says what’s going on here is projection of our inner feelings onto God. The
text has a anthropomorphic sense. God is not a God of wrath - but we are.
One person described the after-effects
of sin as, “The recoil of sin upon the
sinner.”
When we sin, we get angry at
ourselves, not God.
When we sin, we damage ourselves at
times over relationships with each other.
So the recoil in on self, the wrath
is on the self.
GENEROSITY
Rather the Lord is generous.
Today’s gospel talks about God not being cheap.
He does not ration out his spirit.
He pours out new life on us. So go
to God and ask, seek, knock.
DESERT STORY
I found a good example of the
surprise side of God’s love. It’s about the copious redemption of God. All we
need to do is cry out of our depths for his overflowing, over abundant
redemption.
Here’s the example, “Two hundred
miles northeast of Los Angeles is a baked-out gorge called Death Valley – the
lowest place in the United States, dropping 276 feet below sea level. It is
also the hottest place in the country, with an official recording of 134
degrees. Streams flow into Death Valley only to disappear, and a scant two and
a half inches of rain falls on the barren wasteland each year.
“But, some time ago, an amazing
thing happened. For nineteen straight days rain feel onto that lone dry earth.
Suddenly all kinds of seeds, dormant for years, burst into bloom. In a valley
of death, there was life.” p. 61 in ed. Floyd Thatcher, The Miracle of Easter, p. 61, Word Books, Waco TX.
CONCLUSION
Now, we might ask, well why doesn’t
God pour down water on that desert all the time?
I don’t know.
But I’d rather see the story as an example that I can bloom, I can blossom,
over and over again.
I can call on the Lord and be saved.
If we are really honest, God is
calling us to conversion, to blossom all the time, Death valley doesn’t I can.
ONE LIFE TO LIVE,
ONE LIFE TO GIVE
I love the
question
that Mary
Oliver asks
in her
poem, The Summer Day,
"Tell
me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
I suspect every person
and every poet asks
that question.
I suspect that's why
commencement address speakers either uses Mary Oliver's question
or ask it in their own words.
Our family poem is
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.
We all have many roads ahead of us -
and many times we come to a fork in the road:
"And I - I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
So whether its doctor, lawyer, maintenance or mechanic,
priest or prophet, nun or nurse,
mom, dad, advocate or actor,
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
Listen to what a man with the name of Adolfo Kaminsky did with his life.
[Since today is the
feast of St. Mark, I asked him to make some comments at our Mass this morning.]
My name is Mark. I’m here to say one thing today: “Read
my Gospel! Read my Good News about Jesus Christ.”
If you bring up a Bible after Mass today, I’ll even sign
your Bible - on the last page of my Gospel. I’d prefer to put my mark there -
my name there - instead of up front.
I don’t consider myself a great writer. In fact, I wanted
in my gospel to simply report the doings
of Jesus more than the sayings of Jesus.
That doesn’t mean I don’t give some of Jesus’ teachings
about how to live as if you’re in the Kingdom of God - some parables, some
other sayings of Jesus. But I mainly want to tell you about the healing
miracles Jesus did to make life better for those who were sick and blind and
paralyzed.
I did my homework. I
walked with Paul for a while and heard and read some of his messages
about Jesus in his letters. I also
listened to Peter and heard about his experiences of knowing Jesus.
But I was no slave to either Peter and Paul. I listened to other sources. I simply tried to line up the life of Jesus
for anyone who wanted to know what he was like and what he was about.
Jesus was a carpenter from the north - up there near the
Lake of Galilee. He didn’t start preaching till he heard about John the
Baptist’s call to our nation to repent - to change - to return to our Jewish
roots - to go down to the Jordan River - to go into those waters and come up
the other side like our ancestors did when they came into this land. The front part of my gospel is about
Jesus going about doing good. Then as I head into the bottom quarter of my
gospel - I tell about his trip down
south to Jerusalem to face his destiny and to face the leaders of his people
who needed a wakeup call.
Jesus was simply a carpenter who became a preacher.
He did that when he was around 30 and like any prophet
and teacher and preacher he expected death for standing up to what God wants of
him.
He didn’t like the way his fellow Jews were practicing
their religion. It was too strict - too tough - too legalistic. They were like
a fig tree - but one that didn’t produce any fruit.
It didn’t reflect the Kingdom - the way he saw God wanting us to do life.
He taught us that the message is this - that the law is
simple: love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with
all your mind and with all your strength. That’s the first and greatest
commandment and the second is: you must love your neighbor as yourself.
He called disciples by name to follow him. Some did. Some
didn’t - walking away empty.
Early on he understood bread - people’s hunger for bread.
Later on he saw people’s hunger for the bread of life - and he became that life
in that bread - but he didn’t tell and do that till near the end of his life.
After preaching and healing in the North, he walked
South. It was then that all hell broke loss. He told his disciples this secret
- that this was going to happen - that the cross - suffering - and death - is
on his horizon
When we got to Jerusalem the Pharisees made their move to
destroy him.
Judas one of the key disciples sold Jesus out. He
betrayed Jesus. Money, disappointment in Jesus’ mission, thinking it was more
here than hereafter,
Jesus was arrested in the night.
First he had his Last Supper with his disciples. It was at the Passover Meal.
He took bread. He took wine. He said, “This is my body. This is my blood. This
is the Kingdom coming.”
Then he went out into the night - prayed in a garden -
where he was arrested.
His disciples panicked. They fled Jesus. They deserted
him. Peter denied that he even knew Jesus.
Now he was all alone before the Sanhedrin and the Roman
authorities. He was mocked, spat at, ridiculed, crowned with thorns.
The next day - when put on trial - the crowd screamed,
“Crucify hm. Crucify him.”
And that’s what they did, executing him on a cross
It must have been horrible - yet he went through his
passion - till the end.
He screamed out from the cross, “My God, my God, why have
you deserted me?”
But his death wasn’t the end.
On the early morning after the Sabbath of that death week
- a new day arose - and his disciples discovered that he rose from the dead -
and appeared to Mary of Magdala and several of his disciples
Jesus closed by telling us to start like he did - be
baptized - and then go into the whole world and proclaim his good news - his
gospel to all.
This then is what I’m doing.
I found out later that my gospel was the first and
shortest - so start with me. Then read Matthew. He was more organized. Then
Luke who told the best parables. Lastly John who was more poetic.
