FRIENDS

 INTRODUCTION

The title of my thoughts for this feast of Saint Martha is, “Friends”.

That theme of friendships hit me - realizing that Jesus - found 3 good friends at the Bethany home of Martha, Mary and their brother Lazarus.

In the gospel section for this feast there are two options: "The Martha-Mary Conflict Story" and the "Jesus, Couldn't You Have Done Something to Prevent Our Brother Lazarus from Dying Story."

I chose John’s Gospel story about the moments in Martha and Mary’s life when they were dealing with the death of their brother. It can be read at every funeral. [Cf. John 11: 19-27]

I didn’t choose the famous Martha-Mary story from Luke 10:38-42. We just had that reading the other day - and we all know and wonder why Martha seems to be diminished by Jesus - for service to Jesus and Mary - and it gives us all pause when Jesus tells Martha when she’s complaining, “Mary has chosen the better part.”  I always like to say, “I prefer Martha - and I’m grateful for all the Martha’s who have cooked and fed me.

For today, I chose the story of the 3 friends of Jesus: Martha, Mary and Lazarus. When people see Jesus grieving big time at Lazarus’ death, people saw the love of Jesus for Lazarus and the beauty of their friendship.

QUESTION: NAME YOUR 3 BEST FRIENDS?

During this homily I’d be happy if you could stop listening to me and listen to yourself about your top 3 friends.

I’ve heard different numbers on this. Some say if you have 5 friends in a lifetime, you’re lucky.   Others say 4. I’m saying 3.

I’ve heard people say they have hundreds of friends. Someone said that in an average lifetime - say 70 years - we have  400 friends.

I rather use the word, “acquaintances.”

Some people who use Face book talk about having many, many people whom they have befriended.

If you disagree - and say, “I have lots of friends - and they are more than acquainted,” then I would ask how many are or were close friends. I’d add the adjective close to stress the difference between close friends and friends.

HOW ARE YOU TREATING YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS?

To put some muscle or challenge to some thoughts about friendship, I’d ask, how have you been treating them. Have you neglected them?  Maybe this homily could give you the incentive to give them a call.

It’s been my experience when pointing out the value of coming up with 3 to 5 close friends and reflect upon that, then 3 to 5 people are not too many to contact and evaluate.

In this homily I’m saying that close friends are very helpful when it comes to going through life.

We have lots of family members, but not all are our friends.

Euripides said, “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” Euripides

During this mass for Saint Martha - come up with the Martha in your life - the friend who is great with food and connecting with you.

Then Thank God for that friend. Then ask for inner forgiveness for any lack - or neglect - or forgettings in that friendship.

WHAT IS A FRIEND?

Ooops, before finishing I better spell out just what is a friend.

I assume a friend is someone whom we break  bread with each other

from time to time.

I assume a friend is someone whom we can complain to - complain about  - different situations and circumstances in life and the other just listens.

I think a good friend doesn’t use our stories to trigger their stories - but instead they become silent and listen to our stories. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

A friend knows the size of our shoes - because they have walked in them with us. They get what we’re reporting on. They listen.

And as we listen to our friends, as they listen to us, we hear similarities of listening. I call it the You Too factor. I discovered somewhere along the line that the secret of good preaching - good speaking - is that the other is saying, “Wow. You too.”  C.S. Lewis said this long before me when he wrote, . “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

CONCLUSION

In case nothing hit you in this homily, here are a few quotes about friendship:

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.” – Arthur Brisbane

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” — Joseph F. Newton Men

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” — Carl W. Buchner



NOTES: Bronze sculpture, "Bonds of Friendship"
by John Robinson, 1980, in Sydney, Australia.

July 29, 2016

INVISIBLE  SOUNDS 

Laughter from another room….

Fire engines at 2:15 AM - waking me….

A violin while walking down the street….

A group next door singing “Happy Birthday”….
Frogs in a pond....
An owl in some tree....

A helicopter above the trees ….

Someone screams “Hey!” from back there ….

Barking from somewhere ….

A gate opens….

A knock at the door….

A bang that sounded like a gunshot….

Someone screams, “Oh my God!”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

July 28, 2016

COBBLESTONES

As a kid I loved to walk on cobblestone streets.

They were some of my sacred places in

Brooklyn and in older sections of Manhattan.

I loved the way they were solidly set in place -

cobblestone after cobblestone after cobblestone,

cobblestone after cobblestone after cobblestone,

cobblestone after cobblestone after cobblestone,

cobblestone after cobblestone after cobblestone,

row after row after row - dark grey stones - sort

of like those block sized loaves of bread - in the

glass displays - kids' size high - in the bakery - 

and as I walked along on the sacred stones -

sometimes with my dad - I knew I was walking

with security and solidity, like the cobblestones.

My dad died on June 26, 1970. Like so many

cobblestones - he is buried underneath my life -

like the unseen cobblestones still underneath so

many black softer macadam covered streets.... 

Looking back I now know it was good to have so

much strength and solidity - underneath my life -

cobblestones with cobblestones - even though 

I can no longer see what’s below - but I know....

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

THERE IS A TREASURE 

IN YOUR MIDST

INTRODUCTION

This morning I would like to reflect on the theme of today’s gospel, “There is a treasure in your midst.” It's the gospel for this 17th Wednesday in Ordinary Time.

There is a treasure in our midst. It’s the pearl of great price. It’s within our grasp. It’s in our midst. But are we aware of it. Or are we unhappy, always thinking happiness and peace is elsewhere?

One of the secrets of a happy life and a high energy life is to know what we want.

Do we know what you want? Do we have a clear vision of what we want in this life?

A DIVIDED HEART IS AN UNHAPPY HEART

If we are searching for 3 or 4 things at once, if we are undecided, if we don’t know our goal, then we can be killing ourselves and spending a lot of energy that is a waste.

There is an Argus poster that says, “If you don’t know what port you are sailing for, no wind is the right wind.”

There is a Russian proverb that states, “Chase two wolves and you won’t catch either of them.”

JESUS: KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

So Jesus is saying here, to put our hand to the plow and to know what row we want to hoe.

To know what we’re doing.

To find the treasure in the field

GYPSY POEM

I read a  poem once about a couple on a porch of a house looking down at the road below that went by their house. They spot a gypsy couple going by. They are talking to each other. They wish they were like the couple on the road, no worries in the world, free, not tied down, no mortgage payments killing them. And the gypsy couple on the road look up at the house and say, "Wouldn’t it be nice to be the couple there in the house. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a home of our own, no problems. We wouldn’t have to spend all our time and energy as gypsies, wandering down all these roads, Wouldn’t it be great to settle down like that couple in the house there in a home of our own. Life would be that much easier for us.

That poem is happens and is rewritten every day.  

GOSPEL OF THOMAS

I looked up my favorite book on the Parables - The Parables of Jesus by Joachim Jeremias - to see what he would say about the Parable of the Treasure in the Field - here in Matthew 13: 44-46.

Jeremias says that this story is also found in  the gospel of Thomas. Thomas tells the story about a man having a field with a treasure in it, but he never knew it. He died. He left the field to his son, who never found out that he had a treasure in his field. He sold it. The buyer - while plowing discovered the treasure.

There is also a Jewish tale about a man who had a garbage dump that had a treasure in it. However, he too was too lazy to find about the treasure in his garbage dump. He sold the field or willed it to his son without knowing about the treasure.

There are many similar stores in many cultures - that tell this story of hidden treasures in our midst.

Somewhere along the line, I’m sure you heard the story, “Acres of Diamonds.” It was a story and a speech given by Russell Conwell 6,152 times all around the world. He was in the Civil War. He was founder and first president of Temple University. The message was that there were acres of diamonds right under out feet.

ANCIENT HASSIDIC TALE BY JOHN SHEA

John Shea, a great story teller - features this theme of the treasure right under our nose - in various ways.

I’m sure you heard this story - told by John Shea.

There was a poor rabbi who lived in the city of Krakow. He lived on the street of the Lost Angel, in the last hovel on that street, with his wife and four children. Since he was extremely poor, he dreamed every night of riches.

He dreamt that underneath a bridge in the city of Warsaw there was a treasure. When he awakened in the morning, he excitedly told his wife and his children about his dream He then packed food and clothes, and set off for the long journey to find the bridge, to unearth the treasure and be rich. He traveled many days and long nights and finally he arrived in Warsaw.

It was just as the dream had pictured it, except for one thing. (There was a guard on the bridge, a sentinel who paced back and forth.) And so the poor rabbi, tired from his journey fell asleep in the bushes.

When he awoke, he rattled the bushes with his arm, and the guard spun on him, “You there, come here!’ Being a simple man who would not run, he was also a simple man who could not lie. He said, “I have dreamed that underneath the bridge there is a treasure and I have traveled many long miles to find that treasure and be rich.” The guard said, “That is strange. Just last night, I too, have had a dream. I have dreamt that in the city of Krakow, on the street of the Lost Angel, in the last hovel on that street, where lives a rabbi and his wife and their four children there is buried behind the fireplace a treasure. And I leave tonight to find it and be rich.’”

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “There Is A Treasure in Your Midst.”

I often wonder how many poets and artists and athletes there have been who  never knew they had a hidden talent.

Hopefully, we’re all in favor of schools that help kids discover talents and gifts deep within them.

My brother had a gift for being able to translate Russian Air Force Signals. When he was at Georgetown someone told him about a test they were giving - looking for researchers and surprise they discovered he that gift and he spent time in the Library of Congress working on tapes from the Aleutian Islands - sent to Washington - to be translated into United States Air Force signals. 

How about you?

July 27, 2016

HINGE

The three were talking and talking -

the kind of talking after the fourth glass

of wine or beer - late into the evening -

commenting about politics, religion,

the craziness of so and so - but,

“You gotta ….” And she, the fourth of

the group at the dining room table -

thinking, "The dinner food is still sitting 

there. It should be fridged." But she better

not get up and start moving the plates. 

She better stay with the three - but

they didn’t really see her - so she was

looking at the bright bronze of the hinge

holding the dining room door to the dining 

room frame. And she said to herself in 

her inner conversation, “That’s me. Yes, 

that’s me. I’m a hinge between my kids 

and Jack and I’m a hinge between Jill

and her family and mom and my sisters 

and I’m a hidden hinge holding these doors 
that open and close between us."

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

July 26, 2016

*

ROCKS AND THE INVISIBLE

Rocks hold the invisible.
They have their history -

but most of the time -

they don’t tell their story -

except in cemeteries

and on cornerstones.

They have been around

for a long time. They hold

hot and they hold cold -

sometimes for a long time,

but you have to be in touch

with them to find this out.

Rocks hurt, crush, break,

and can weigh us down.

No wonder they have been

used for weapons from the

beginning of time. Remember
what Jesus told us that day, 
“Let the one without sin, 
cast that first stone.”**

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016
*Painting on top: Charles
Burchfield, Sun and Rocks.
**Scripture text: John 8: 1-11

IN  PRAISE  OF GRANDPARENTS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily on this July 26^th  feast of Saints Anne and Joachim, the grandparents of Jesus, is,  “In Praise of Grandparents.”

My main comments will be about Joachim and Anne, some quotes about grandparents  - and conclude with the importance and significance of grandparents.

Notice St. Mary’s Church does its praise with two statues up here - of Anne and Joachim. They were short people. [Joke]

WHO ARE THEY?

Anne and Joachim are names given them in time - from legends and from traditions.

As you know we don’t know their real names from our Bible. They are not mentioned in the genealogies of Jesus in Matthew and Luke. And you won’t find mention of Joachim and Anne in the infancy narratives.

Obviously, Jesus had to have grandparents. That’s why I like the joke I love to use in the pulpit to see if people are listening, “As Grouch Marx put it, if your parents didn’t have any kids, chances are you won’t either.”

We do get the names, Joachim and Anne, from some of the apocryphal gospels and Infancy Narratives - legends and made up stories - to fill in the gaps about what we don’t know from the canonical or official gospels.

It was interesting to find out last night when looking up some of this stuff that there are about 150 surviving manuscripts of the so called, Gospel of James - which goes back perhaps to 150. We don’t have that document but copies of that earlier document - which go back to the 3^rd or early 4^th century and then after that.

In time - because they are connected so closely to Jesus - Joachim and Anne became models for grandparents and saints to pray to for help for being a grandparent.

In 1584 Joachim was mentioned in the Roman canon of saints.

They are also mentioned in Muslim traditions as well.

And you might remember that Luther in a violent thunder storm  - as he tells is - cried out in prayer, “Save me, Saint Anne, and I’ll become a monk.” He did - but others say he was thinking of that calling long before that thunderstorm.

A FEW COMMENTS ABOUT GRANDPARENTS

Those of you who are grandparents know the feelings and the joy in hearing the news that one of your kids is going to have a baby. It’s a different feeling - from the first time you were to be a parent yourself.

Becoming a grandparent also has its humor. “Welcome to your new job, babysitter, par excellence.” 

Those of you who are grandparents, know it gives great new meaning to your life - and deeper understandings of your kids who made you a grandparent.

SOME QUOTES

I looked up “Quotes about Grandparenting” and here are a few.

There is the Italian saying, “If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.”

Ogden Nash said, “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.”

Pam Brown said, “Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.”

Marcy de Maree said, “Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day is complete.”

Lewis Mumford, “Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”

SIGNIFICANCE

Grandparents are a marvelous support system - when so many families are struggling with balancing two jobs - many schedule stresses - divorces - financial problems and what have you.

Grandparents are the keepers of the stories.

Grandparents give cookies, checks, hugs and presence at so many family events - graduations, baptisms, and soccer and lacrosse games.

CONCLUSION

Saints Anne and Joachim bless our families and our world. Amen.