FRIENDS

 INTRODUCTION

The title of my thoughts for this feast of Saint Martha is, “Friends”.

That theme of friendships hit me - realizing that Jesus - found 3 good friends at the Bethany home of Martha, Mary and their brother Lazarus.

In the gospel section for this feast there are two options: "The Martha-Mary Conflict Story" and the "Jesus, Couldn't You Have Done Something to Prevent Our Brother Lazarus from Dying Story."

I chose John’s Gospel story about the moments in Martha and Mary’s life when they were dealing with the death of their brother. It can be read at every funeral. [Cf. John 11: 19-27]

I didn’t choose the famous Martha-Mary story from Luke 10:38-42. We just had that reading the other day - and we all know and wonder why Martha seems to be diminished by Jesus - for service to Jesus and Mary - and it gives us all pause when Jesus tells Martha when she’s complaining, “Mary has chosen the better part.”  I always like to say, “I prefer Martha - and I’m grateful for all the Martha’s who have cooked and fed me.

For today, I chose the story of the 3 friends of Jesus: Martha, Mary and Lazarus. When people see Jesus grieving big time at Lazarus’ death, people saw the love of Jesus for Lazarus and the beauty of their friendship.

QUESTION: NAME YOUR 3 BEST FRIENDS?

During this homily I’d be happy if you could stop listening to me and listen to yourself about your top 3 friends.

I’ve heard different numbers on this. Some say if you have 5 friends in a lifetime, you’re lucky.   Others say 4. I’m saying 3.

I’ve heard people say they have hundreds of friends. Someone said that in an average lifetime - say 70 years - we have  400 friends.

I rather use the word, “acquaintances.”

Some people who use Face book talk about having many, many people whom they have befriended.

If you disagree - and say, “I have lots of friends - and they are more than acquainted,” then I would ask how many are or were close friends. I’d add the adjective close to stress the difference between close friends and friends.

HOW ARE YOU TREATING YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS?

To put some muscle or challenge to some thoughts about friendship, I’d ask, how have you been treating them. Have you neglected them?  Maybe this homily could give you the incentive to give them a call.

It’s been my experience when pointing out the value of coming up with 3 to 5 close friends and reflect upon that, then 3 to 5 people are not too many to contact and evaluate.

In this homily I’m saying that close friends are very helpful when it comes to going through life.

We have lots of family members, but not all are our friends.

Euripides said, “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” Euripides

During this mass for Saint Martha - come up with the Martha in your life - the friend who is great with food and connecting with you.

Then Thank God for that friend. Then ask for inner forgiveness for any lack - or neglect - or forgettings in that friendship.

WHAT IS A FRIEND?

Ooops, before finishing I better spell out just what is a friend.

I assume a friend is someone whom we break  bread with each other

from time to time.

I assume a friend is someone whom we can complain to - complain about  - different situations and circumstances in life and the other just listens.

I think a good friend doesn’t use our stories to trigger their stories - but instead they become silent and listen to our stories. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

A friend knows the size of our shoes - because they have walked in them with us. They get what we’re reporting on. They listen.

And as we listen to our friends, as they listen to us, we hear similarities of listening. I call it the You Too factor. I discovered somewhere along the line that the secret of good preaching - good speaking - is that the other is saying, “Wow. You too.”  C.S. Lewis said this long before me when he wrote, . “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

CONCLUSION

In case nothing hit you in this homily, here are a few quotes about friendship:

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.” – Arthur Brisbane

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” — Joseph F. Newton Men

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” — Carl W. Buchner



NOTES: Bronze sculpture, "Bonds of Friendship"
by John Robinson, 1980, in Sydney, Australia.