ON BEING APPRECIATED

Swedish

Quote for Today - February 4, 2013

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

William James [1842-1910]

Questions:

Agree or disagree? If disagree, what would you pick as the deepest principle?

When was the last time you told another, "I really appreciate you!"?

When was the last times someone said to you, "I appreciate you!"?

If actions speak louder than words, how does one feel being appreciated in a non-verbal way?

Think of one person whom you appreciate. Now how could you express that appreciation in a non-verbal way? Cash or check? Smile.

IT’S EASIER TO SAY, 

“I LOVE YOU!” 

THAN TO LOVE YOU! 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time C is, “It’s Easier to Say, ‘I Love You!’ Than to Love You.”

As I thought about today’s readings - especially today’s famous reading from St. Paul - the one on love - love is this and this and it’s not this and not that - I said, “Do a homily on Love!”

MAYOR ED KOCH

You might have seen on the news or in the newspapers that the famous mayor of New York City just died. As I read the obituaries I noticed that the obit writers pointed out that he liked publicity. What I liked about him was his question: “How am I doing?”

I'm sure you've seen requests in restaurants - asking people to fill out a short questionnaire about the restaurant. They want feedback. “How was the food? How was the service? How clean were the bathrooms? How was the waiter and waitress?"

The Christian calling is to love and to serve one another.  How are we doing at that?

The Christian knows the great commandment: to love the Lord our God with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength - and the second commandment is similar: to love our neighbor as ourselves.[Cf. Luke 10:25-28]

How are we doing?

SECOND READING

Today’s second reading from First Corinthians - Chapter 13 - has St. Paul’s spelling out of what love is and what love is not.

How are we doing on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, with each of the following: patience, kindness, endurance, hope, and faith?  How am I avoiding on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest with what love is not: not being jealous, pompous, inflated, rude, not rejoicing when the other makes a mistake?

If you want a good night prayer or morning prayer on how to live each day, bookmark 1 Corinthians Chapter 13. In the morning it gives a plan on how to love that day - or at night before going to bed it's a good examination of consciousness about how well we loved that day. If married, what would it be like to read that text each night out loud and talk to each other about how well we did that day? Interesting!

Love: how am I doing?

"I love you!" Am I lip syncing that or am I really loving you?

The title of my homily once again: “It’s Easier to Say, ‘I Love You!’ Than to Love You.”

We hear today’s second reading at 7 out of 10 weddings. It tells me that the couple knows love is more than saying, “I love you!”

We’ve probably heard preachers at weddings say, “If people who said, ‘I do!’ did, then more marriages would work than they do.”

At the end of today’s second reading Paul talks about looking in a mirror. Those of you who use Microsoft on your computer know about Windows 6, 7, 8 or whatever they are up to by now.  I don’t know this for sure, but I suspect Paul is talking about Mirrors # 1 here - a primitive version of a mirror - whereas we have Mirrors # 11 by now.  How many times have we looked into the mirror after taking a shower and the glass is all steamed up? I would think that’s what Paul is talking about here. Foggy Mirrors are like Mirrors # 1 - whatever they made mirrors out of in the mid 50’s - when Paul wrote his letter.

Moreover, I would think First Corinthians Chapter 13 is a great mirror. 

Next, another observation: I would assume when we look into Paul’s words about what love is and love isn’t  when we’re 24 - it’s different than when we look at those same words at 44 or 64 or 74.  What are we looking at when we're looking at First Corinthians Chapter 13?  I would hope that how we see ourselves in those words has improved since the first time we read First Corinthians 13.

After a big football game the commentators sometimes say of the losing team - for example the 49ers -  that it looks like they didn’t bring their A Game to the game today.  Or so and so did or didn’t. Imagine if a group of commentators could look at our day and comment about what we brought to the game of life that day.

I was listening to some commentators talking about pro basketball the other night. Isaiah Thomas made several nuances: the difference between the playoffs and the regular season; the other team being a top team or a bottom team; and the schedule. A team might have played horrible that night, but maybe the fact that they just played the night before enters into the picture or why they lost - while the team that won had three days off since their last game.

When it comes to love - better when it comes to being patient, kind, and not being quick tempered - sometimes our schedule is jammed packed - or we just went through something big at work or where we have been - that might make our understanding of what happened to be seen in a different light. I assume love also means understanding - and forgiveness - and discovering communicating about circumstances.

So love is tricky. Love is tough stuff. Someone said, “Some folks we click with. Some folks we cross with. Love is manifested when we love those we cross with.”

JESUS

That quote brings us right into the wisdom of Jesus. When he challenged folks with the tough love - for example the patience called for putting up with PITA people, some people walked away. When Jesus said that love means going the extra mile - giving the shirt off our back for - laying down one’s life for others - his listeners found that stuff too tough. As we heard in today’s gospel, they wanted to escort him out of town and hurl his down a hill. By the end of the gospel, they are going to march him out of the city to kill him on the cross.

CONCLUSION - LOVE: 3 STEPS

As mentioned earlier, when talking about love,  the Gospels love to feature the two great commandments:to love God and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

That's 3 persons to love: God, Neighbor and Self.

In reality, I think we learn to work on these three in the opposite order.

Step One: is self - learning to love oneself. Look in the mirror as the famous poem, “The Man in the Mirror” puts it. Look oneself in the eye and ask: “How am I doing?” Do I like this person called “me”? We can look at the wrinkles or the fat - but we can also stay with the eyes. They don’t wrinkle or sag - but they can be the window into the within.

Look into one’s eyes or one’s I and ask, “How am I doing?”

How old was Jeremiah - the character in today’s first reading - how did it take him to come up with his attitude that God wants me - God knows me from those months I was in the dark in my mommy’s tummy - till today - for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. God knows and loves me. How am I doing with that one?

Does the wanted baby know that better than the “Oh no Baby!”?

Does the unwanted little screaming baby in the night - know whether he or she is wanted and loved the way the light goes on at 2 AM and the way he or she is held and fed? Has a PITA at work or school or next door or at the relative at the family picnic ever changed because of our love for them? Do students know whether this teacher or this coach really respects and loves them?

Step Two and Step Three: At some point in life we have to move out of self and take step 2 and 3 towards others. Step 2 is loving the ones we see and Step  3 is loving God who is not seen.

Read the First Letter of John about all this. He said how can we say we love God whom we cannot see when we don’t love our neighbor whom we can see.

That’s it: How am I doing?

JEALOUSY AND ENVY

Quote for Today - February 3, 2013

"Jealousy is nothing more than poison envy."

Someone.....

It's a neat mixing of both these poisons. I like  the old distinction that envy deals with wanting others' stuff or people and jealousy deals with the fear or nervousness of others taking our stuff or people.

FEBRUARY 2^ND -

slideshowCANDLEMAS DAY

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “February 2^nd - Candlemas Day.”

February 2^nd is also the feast of the Presentation of Jesus in the temple - the main name for this day - as we see in today’s readings.

It’s also the feast of the Purification of Mary in the Temple - 40 days after the birth of Christ.

February 2^nd is the mid point between the shortest day of the year, December 21^st and the first day of Spring - March 20^th this year - the Vernal Equinox. Remember last December 21^st, the Winter Solstice - when according to some,  the Mayan Calendar indicated that the world was going to end that day. 

We’re still here.

I like the tradition of Candlemas Day - where we bless the candles at a Mass. Notice the last three letters - "MAS" in that word. It's the same as the "MAS" at the end of the word, "Christmas." It’s a reference to the Mass. On this day in this church we bless the candles.

Hopefully we also hear the call to all of us to realize Christ is the light of the World [Gospel of John 9:5 ] - that Mary brought that light into our world - and all Christians are called to be light to our world [Matthew 5:14].

Catholics use candles. 

CANDLE BOY

When I was a kid in OLPH Church in Brooklyn, I landed the great job of Candle Boy. It meant I got paid $2.50 a week. We worked on Saturday afternoon, all Sunday morning and Wednesday afternoon  - Wednesday being  the big OLPH novena day. 

Later on I could joke, “Don’t work for the Church. They don’t pay well.”

However, for me it was a great job because I didn’t need working papers - or be 12 years old. That was the age I had to be to get my first paper route working for The Brooklyn Eagle.

As candle boy I noticed people coming into church and lighting a 10 cent candle - which I assumed used to be the penny candle. I'd see them kneel there and say a prayer. 

The idea was you couldn’t stay in church forever, so you lit a candle to take your place and let it burn out before an image of Mary or Jesus.

DARKNESS

The key message I assume is the light shines in the darkness and the darkness can’t put it out.

I noticed in some research last night that the idea of a feast of light in the winter goes way back in history and deep into our psyche and soul as well.  We saw all those lights and candles in our windows and on our lawns and in our homes at Christmas time.  How many times do we hear each winter in the afternoon, “Do you notice we’re getting more and more light in the afternoon. It’s not as dark at this time as it was a few weeks ago.”

So today - February 2^nd - is called Candlemas Day for a reason. I spotted the information that before electricity, in Scottish schools this is the day kids brought candles to school - to make sure there is more light till spring comes - especially on dark cloudy days.

I noticed a German tradition about the badger - which I assume is the roots of the 4^th feast we celebrate this day: Groundhog Day. I assume all those Germans who migrated and landed in Pennsylvania made the back home Badger Day in Germany  - Groundhog Day here in America. As you know Groundhog Day is about shadow and cold - light and darkness - winter and the hope for Spring.

I noticed the following German proverb on several web sites:

“The badger peeps out of his hole 
       on Candlemas Day,

and if he finds snow, he walks about;

but if he sees the sun is out,

he heads back into his hole.”

Notice the connection of Groundhog Day with Candlemas Day!

I loved the movie, “Groundhog Day” because the message is: Sometimes we have to do it over and over and over and over again till we get it right.

CONCLUSION

So today we hear about Jesus the Light of the World being presented in the temple in Jerusalem. Jesus is bringing light  to his Jewish roots. We also honor  Mary as the Pure One - who brought Jesus into our world - to bring warmth and light - to take away shadow and doubt - to burn away sin and impurities - so we can shine as we bring his fire to our world. 

LIGHT ONE LIGHT

Quote for Today - February 2,  2013

"It snowed and snowed, 
     the whole world over,
Snow swept the world
     from end to end.
A candle burned on the table;
A candle burned."

Boris Pasternak {1890-1960}, Doctor Zhivago [1958], The Poems of Yurii Zhivago, Winter Night, stanza 1.

Painting: Nocturn Grey and Gold Chelsea Snow, Oilpaintingsbank.com

PLANT SOMETHING!

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 3^rd Friday in Ordinary Time is, “Plant Something!”

I want to get into the issue of growth:  the waiting - the time it takes - the hope it takes - the watering and the work -  and then the surprise of seeing the results or one’s planting and cultivating.

Today’s gospel story about the mustard seed triggered these thoughts.

PLANTING SEEDS

Imagine going through a whole lifetime without ever planting something.

I have a vague memory of being a little kid and noticing the seeds in a watermelon that my mom bought and brought home for us.

Picture a little kid seeing an enormous watermelon for the first time - the cutting it in half - and then the red slices. Wow! Did anyone look at my face and my eyes seeing the inside of a watermelon for the first time?

I asked my dad or mom or someone in the family - I’m the youngest of 4 - “If I planted these watermelon seeds will I get another watermelon?” Someone said, “Try it!” I planted the seeds in our backyard and all I got was some green sprouts - but I was thrilled when I saw those sprouts. I waited and waited - no watermelon.

I did the same with honeydew melon seeds - and once more I only got green sprouts. I wonder if either of those 2 plantings are still growing in Brooklyn in a backyard on 62 Street - between 3^rd and 4^th Avenues.

I also remembering spotting flower seeds somewhere along the line - along with grass seed. I planted both and got flowers - as well as grass growing - where there was none before.

What are your stories about planting and seeing the results?

When I got to the Minor Seminary in my hopes of becoming a priest I got in on picking tomatoes as well as picking grapes and strawberries. I also worked on the Lawn Crew for 3 years. I was also on the Lawn Crew in our novitiate year. I was also on the lawn crew in the Major Seminary for 6 years.

All this was good for a city kid. We had a front yard - which wasn’t that big - but we had nice hedges. I loved watching my dad cut those dark green hedges with  those big sharp hedge cutters - the biggest scissors I’ve ever seen.  We also had that small back yard where I had planted the watermelon and honeydew melon seeds. After I went away for the priesthood my father got into planting tomatoes and zucchini. I missed out on that.

In the major seminary I also took care of horses. A team of two guys would be on for a week, every 5^th week.  Twice a day we’d go down to the barn. It would be early morning before everything for feeding them and then again in afternoon after class. The afternoon chore was more extensive - not just feeding our 3 horses - but also shoveling horse manure. That would take 20 minutes and the smell demanded a shower afterwards. I noticed that things grew much better with fertilizer.

In the major seminary we also worked lifting rectangular bales of hay from our fields and tossing them onto a flat bed truck. We also picked apples.

So both the minor and major seminaries I went to were good experiences in learning to see how things go and how things grow - and experience nature first hand. It gave me a grasp on growth - and a better understanding of the scriptures.

JESUS

From the gospels I sense that Jesus liked to escape from the carpenter shop and explore fields of wheat and grape vines. He spotted sheep and goats, weeds and mustard trees - the birds of the air and flowers of the fields.

Jesus learned the lessons of how things grow - if we listen to him in the gospels.

US

A message from this homily would be to make sure we see the gifts of creation surrounding us - to plant and to harvest - to get a green thumb - and dirt on our hands.

We need to learn that life is a field with wheat and weeds in it - and without both - we do damage to ourselves. A good sin - a good mistake - could be the best teacher in our life. It can also give us the gift of understanding - that we blow it at times.

We need to learn how to plant - and maybe the tree of faith will start to flower and grow a good 30 years from now.

We need to plant something - to learn something.

I’ve heard people arguing about something at night. The next day I would hear them arguing with someone else - but this time they have the opposite opinion from the day before.  Something happened in their sleep - or they replanted their thoughts - while they were sleepless.

I’ve learned there are lots of dormant flowers and fruit and plants inside everyone - and the day comes when the good stuff blossoms. Amen.

INTEGRITY

Quote for Today - February 1, 2013

"Live so that the preacher can tell the truth at your funeral."

K. Beckstrom