FATHER GREG BOYLE, S.J.
Go to Google and simply type in the words: Father Greg Boyle: NPR
Then listen to Terry Gross' Fresh Air 40 minute interview with him and his work all these years. A lot of it is with folks who were in gangs in Los Angeles.
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Some folks asked my thoughts on this latest burst of news about the sexual abuse of children, the pope, and the way it was and is being dealt with.
My first approach would be to present Good News.
Next would be some further comments. I am aware that sometimes saying nothing is a practical way to go - because in many ways, no matter what you say, people are going to take what you say - in the way they are going to take it. This issue can be a minefield.
Dialogue is difficult.
Listening is tough.
We priests talk amongst ourselves about this. This has been a tough 8 years.
I hear people protesting for full disclosure and transparency. I am grateful that much has been made public. For example, check out the John Jay College of Criminal Justice Study on Clergy Sexual Abuse - U.S. Bishops. It was commissioned at the Dallas 2002 meeting of the U.S. Catholic Bishops. Has any other group hung that much laundry on line?
I don't plan to try to evoke empathy for priests. I hope everyone just wants all of us to get our house in order - and help and protect those who have been hurt or could be hurt in the future.
So I stand at the edge of the lake. To wade in, to dive in or to go back to my blanket? That is my question.
I'll dive in - without trying to be too defensive. Obviously, I am not going to try to defend sin and crime, horror and abuse.
Besides my opening story about Father Greg Boyle, let me go this way.
Let me start with self.
Let me start with sin.
I have on a much earlier blog, a tiny saying, "Dig anywhere and you'll find dirt."
A few people who read that said to me, "I don't get it."
I didn't explain.
If I did, I wouldn't have written it as simply as I thought I did.
"Dig anywhere and you'll find dirt."
Dig into any person's life and you'll find dirt.
Can anyone say I don't have dirt?
Is anyone not nervous about those who seem to like to get dirt on others?
The number # 1 topic of conversation is others - and it's often not complementary.
Gossip gets greater ratings at the coffee machine than compliments?
Agree or disagree?
Dirt shows up on the front of camera lenses.
Who of us would want someone to take a camera and make a film of every moment of our life?
Who of us would want someone to take a camera and film us in our sins? Bad days? Bad moments? At our worse?
As we heard in the gospel a few Sunday's back, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." [Cf. John 8:1 -11.]
When it comes to abuse and mess, sin makes the news.
As priest, as human, as me, I know that every one has dirt - and I hold that every person has a right to privacy, learning, and recovery.
Every family has dirt.
I never had a cat - but I think I heard that a cat hides its mess.
Cover ups are often part of the plot in many a cop, army, detective movie or TV series.
"Let him or her who has not covered something up or let something slide make the first attack on cover ups."
Having stated that, I also say that somethings better not be covered up - especially when it's a crime and it comes to children and the vulnerable.
And if there is a cover up, expect to pay for the consequences.
When will the higher ups realize you can't blame the messenger - you can't blame the media?
100 years ago people could get away with evil a lot more than today.
To paraphrase a saying of Jesus, "The press we always have with us."
Let's not blame the press for cover ups or crimes! Their job is to open up stories.
My hope is that they get the story right - understand the nuances - and in the sexual abuse of children story - they publicize what has been learned - up to this date - so as to protect the vulnerable.
I also want to add a nuance that I find illusive and slippery. I wonder if anyone at a meeting for what goes in a paper or on the news asks the ethical question: "Can we say this? Do we know the impact of this on this person's family? Are we doing this for our good ratings or for another's good?" There are consequences for those who report evil - sin - and it can destroy another person's family and life.
Sometimes he or she who hesitates is saved.
Years and years ago I received a phone call around 2 in the morning. It was from the police. They had a priest in the local jail who got drunk and had gotten into a fight in a local bar. The police were called. The priest was from another state and the policeman on the phone asked if I could come and get him - before the newspapers got wind of this - and could I get him home? I had never met this priest before. Under cover of darkness I got him home. I didn't know the cop - but he was Catholic and he didn't want this out. Right? Wrong? Got it done. And the priest got help and got on with his life. He's now dead!
What would you do?
What would you want if the person who messed up was a member of your family or your community?
What would you want if it was you?
What is your similar story? Christmas party? Wedding? Vacation? Business trip? The money was just sitting there?
Of course there is a difference between child abuse and alcohol abuse. There is a difference between a one time slip up and ongoing drunken rage and disasters.
Sin - horror - abuse - ought to get us to pause!
Am I telling this story because when another falls it makes me feel better?
Does this prove that my take on religion or God or priests or others is correct?
And as Christians we ought to know what Saint Paul publicized loud and clear in his Letter to the Romans - especially when he challenges us to uncover what is within each of us. Tough stuff." It causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble..." as the old hymn goes.
And we've all seen how cover ups can bring companies and elected and appointed officials down.
Each of us and all of us need to do our homework on this - as well as talk to each other about all this.
What would we want for our children, our world, as well as ourselves?
There is the Golden Rule - and it's here to protect us.
There is the Native American proverb we have all heard a hundred times: "Don't judge a person till you have walked a mile in their moccasins."
I came up with a follow up saying, "Don't judge a person till you have walked a mile in their sins."
I have a faint memory of watching many, many years ago a TV talk show on which F. Lee Bailey, the lawyer, talked about Anthony DeSalvo, the so called, "Boston Strangler." Bailey defended him as lawyer and said if you knew the childhood background of this man, you would have some sympathy for him. Anthony's father, Frank DeSalvo was a violent alcoholic. He beat his wife Charlotte in front of the kids - knocking out her teeth and bending back her fingers till they broke. He forced his kids to watch him having sex with prostitutes whom he had brought home. His father sold Anthony into slavery - along with his sister - when he was 9 years of age - to a farmer in Maine. [Check this stuff out if you don't believe me.]
That story about watching a TV talk show one evening - even though it's a fuzzy memory - has had an impact on my life - how I see each person - perpetrator as well as victim, sinner and sinned against.
I thought about this story when I heard the names of priests who had committed horrendous crimes.
Being a priest, but also being human, I thought of the priest first - not the kids. I was seeing a person being led to a court house. I wasn't seeing the young people they had abused.
When I saw them on TV - or when I thought about them - obviously I thought and prayed for these priests.
So of course abuse is horrible. It can be a crime - e.g., sexual abuse of minors. Worse: it can mess folks up for life.
Now down through the centuries abuse has been hidden - moved - ignored - been swept into the corner - hoping it would go away.
What am I saying here? I am saying that people cover things up!
I am aware that I need to be sensitive - aware that a broken nose or arm - makes us concentrate on the broken.
What am I saying here? I'm saying that the arm or the nose is only one part of the body.
Ooops, possible contradiction here, Paul says if one part hurts, all parts hurt. [Cf. 1 Corinthians 12]
And this Body called Church is hurting!
Having said that, I also want to broadcast that there are lots of priests working every day for others - and there are lots of folks in our church reaching out to others every day. For example, I am impressed with the wonderful folks here in St. Mary's Parish, Annapolis, Maryland who help lots and lots of people through our St. Vincent de Paul Society - as well as the folks who donate big time to our poor box - and this and that, and then some other ministry - parenting, volunteering, etc.
Someone wrote me and said I was a bit insensitive with this blog piece, so I changed it and added to it quite a bit. I guess I'm one of those many priests who are sad and sick with the horror stories of the crimes and cruelty when it comes to abuse. Children were severely hurt. Bad news. Horrible news. Then came the cover ups, the mistakes and the mismanagement in trying to stop pedophiles. Bad news. Horrible news.
There was a learning curve in all this. Lawsuits and reporting and more research certainly sped things up.
I want to state that in the last 8 years the Catholic Church in the United States has done a lot to protect children with strong policies and procedures. Good news.
I also hold that families and others - cover up abuse. Bad news. If all the stories about priests does anything in the last 8 years, I hope it makes people more aware of this perversion. Keep your eye on who is near and with your children.
In the meanwhile, I also thought it would be smart to broadcast good news. So listen to Father Greg Boyle's story on NPR. Then tell your kids, "Think priesthood!" We need priests - good priests. They too can be another Greg Boyle. Tell them about St. Vincent de Paul and the St. Vincent de Paul work around our world, etc. etc. etc. They can do that as well.
