COMPLAIN - 

COMPLAIN - COMPLAIN

Quote for the Day:  January 5,  2010



“I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”



Jane Wagner [1935- ], The Search for Intelligent Life in the Universe, 1986, performed by Lily Tomlin [1939- ]

WHAT DO YOU GET
OUT OF THE BED
IN THE MORNING FOR?

Quote of the Day:  - January 4, 2010


“Do you know what the greatest test is? Do you still get excited about what you do when you get up in the morning?”


David Halberstam [1934-1937]

[Picture on top of my brother "Billy" or "Pat" and his family - and dog, Polly". He would have been 75 years of age today. Happy Birthday.]

TWO GIFTS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Two Gifts.”

We have just come through another Christmas and so we know about gifts. Does everyone – everyone – have at least one special person in their life – that they took time and care to pick the right gift for that person: a spouse, a parent, a child, a friend?

Hopefully, we have several good close people in our life. In my experience, I think at times people toss around the term “friend” too loosely. I have often thought about the comment, “If you have or had 5 really close friends in your life, you’re lucky.” I always love it when someone says with great depth and sometimes tears – like at a 25th wedding anniversary, that their spouse has been or has become their best friend. I was at a 25th wedding anniversary celebration here in Annapolis last Tuesday evening and the wife said just that.

When getting the perfect gift for the perfect person, we first think about that person. We do some figuring. Then we decide – or we go shopping – look around – and then we decide on a perfect gift.

So we know about gifts.

THE MAGI

This Sunday we are celebrating the feast of the Epiphany – and we probably have heard comments that the gifts of the Magi – the Wise Men – would have been different – if they were 3 Wise Women.

There would have arrived on time. They would have cleaned the stable. They would have brought a casserole. They would have brought practical gifts like diapers.

Someone also said, “They would have asked for directions.” However, in reality, in the story in Matthew, the Magi or Wise Men do ask directions. It’s a key part of the story – to let Herod in on the birth of the new king – to create a tension - to give a hint about the horrible thing that is about to happen.

Looking at the gifts the Magi brought Christ, we can say that gold is practical. Frankincense, incense? That might be practical in a barn – with those smells – but myrrh? I don’t know.

However, we have surely heard down through the years, that Matthew’s story has many symbols in it – as well as several leads to other texts and stories in the scriptures. With these 3 gifts, Matthew might be telling us the following about Christ: gold that he is king; incense that he is divine – the smoke rises; and myrrh – that he is going to suffer.

And scholars like to point out that Matthew might be telling his Jewish community that Jesus is the New Moses. Just as there was the slaughter of the little boys in the Moses story by the Pharaoh– in the Book of Exodus, so too Jesus is the New Moses – who survives the slaughter by the New Pharaoh, Herod, and he will lead us through a New Exodus – through the waters of Baptism – into a New Promised Land and New Life. And Matthew is the only gospel that brings Jesus into Egypt – which strengthens the image of Jesus as the New Moses – because Moses saves his people by leading them out of Egypt.

QUESTION

I was visiting my sister Mary in Pennsylvania for the last couple of days – so on the drive up on Wednesday and the drive back today – I had more time than usual - 3 hours each way - to think about this feast and this homily.

It struck me: if I had to come up with one gift to give to Christ – today – not back then – what gift would I give?

I remembered the Drummer Boy song – how he didn’t have any gift to give to the New Born King – then it hit him that he would play a song – with his drum for the New Born King. I don’t know about you, but that has always been one of my favorite Christmas songs.

Trouble is I can’t play any musical instrument. Years ago I did try the trombone for two weeks – but gave up. I can do the scales on the piano. I can play the “Do a deer, a female deer, Re a drop of golden sun,” song from The Sound of Music, but that's as far as I got on the piano.

As I was driving and thinking about all this during the past few days, I remembered a wonderful moment from long ago. I was with our Redemptorist novices at a 3 day Internovitiate program in an Ossining, New York retreat house. There were about 60 young men and women – who were in the process of living and figuring out if they wanted to be nuns, priests or religious brothers in the various religious orders making the program.

It was around 11:30 at night and I was sitting and praying in this big chapel – in the dark. The only light was the red candle next to the tabernacle in the distance. As far as I know I was the only person in this chapel – and I was sitting there off the side – in a back row – making a holy hour.

A door opened on the other side of the chapel and in walked someone – who came up the main aisle and then walked into the sanctuary. The person sat down on the floor in front of the tabernacle leaning into the altar. I kept absolutely quiet – not wanting to disturb him or her. Then I heard the clips of what sounded like a guitar case open. Then I heard the sound of someone grasping a guitar. Then this person began to sing a love song to Jesus – in Spanish. It was a she and she sounded like a young woman – and it was beautiful. She finished – and put the guitar back in the case – clipped it closed – and she sat there for another ten minutes – and then got up and left.

It’s one of those lifetime memories that we all have – surprise gifts – in the dark.

I remained silent the whole time. I’m glad I didn’t cough or creak a bench.

Afterwards it struck me: “How does God do all these prayers and songs – from all the people all around our world – each day, each night? How does that work? How does God work?”

I sat there – knowing I can’t sing – but I can say, “Thank You, God. Thank You, God, for everything, every day, every night, for everyone in my life – especially close friends. Amen.”

The question still remained: Ii I was to give God or the Christ – a gift today, what would I give?

While driving and thinking about this the last few days, - especially with the arrival of the New Year, – along with the thought of a new year and new year’s resolutions – which never last, I said, “Okay, this year I will try to really be present to the person I am with – or those I am with. When preaching I’ll try to really look at people. I can look right at people but not see them. I’m often somewhere else. I noticed in an article in one of the papers last month ­that the difference between Oprah and Donohue in talk show interviews was this: Oprah looks right at people and Donohue looked at people from the side. I think the article was implying that women look right at the person they are talking to – whereas men don’t. I don’t know if that’s true, but I’ve been watching myself and others this past month. I know I tend to look from the side – or don’t concentrate at all.

Listening, looking, being with another, is tough stuff. But that’s my New Year’s Resolution. So when I am eating with people I’ll try to pay attention to what people are saying – the priests I live with – and anyone I’m with. The trouble is we’ve all heard and been with those we know too often. We often know what triggers what. We know other’s stories by heart. You know our sermons and what we're off on by now.

Listening, really trying to listen, looking, really looking at the people I’m with this year, I’ll try to give that gift to the Body of Christ.

“Okay,” I said to myself, “I have a gift to give.”

Now how about you?

GIFT TO ME

Then an old Jesuit practice hit me – the idea of being quiet when praying to Jesus - and then to ask him to give us a specific gift.

I smiled at that, because that’s what we humans do. We give gifts to those we love and they give a gift in return.

“Okay, Jesus,” I said while driving, “what gift are you going to give me?”

Silence….

Then it hit me. I heard Jesus saying, “Okay, I'll give you the challenge of really listening and really looking at the people you are with this year. Go for it.”

“Cute!” I said to Jesus in reply – while driving.

Then I heard in my mind the words of the Nike ad, “Just do it!”

CONCLUSION

Having gone through all this, I felt a sense of gratitude. Nice: I had a sermon thought. Nice: I have a resolution for the New Year. Nice: Jesus was giving me undivided attention and challenging me. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.

How about you? What gift can you bring to Jesus and what gift does Jesus want to give to you?



Painting on top by Hans Memling, c. 1470, in the Prado Museum, Madrid

WAITING FOR MY STAR,

WAITING FOR EPIPHANIES.

Quote of the Day: - January 3, 2010

“I await my star.” [J’attends mon astre.]


Carlo Alberto [1798-1849], the king of Sardinia in Italy, made this the motto of his house, the House of Savoy.

MOUNTAINS CAN MOVE!

Quote of the Day: -- January 2,  2010

“A little snow, tumbled about / Anon becomes a mountain.”


Shakespeare [Baptized 1564-1616], King John, Act. III, scene 4, line 176

ONE DAY,

ONE WEEK,

ONE YEAR AT A TIME,

SWEET JESUS.

Quote for the Day:  January 1,  2010

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”

William Allen White [1868-1944]

YOUR FAMILY AS A NOVEL

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Your Family as A Novel!”

How’s that for a novel idea?

Writers – and teachers of creative writing courses – often say to those who want to write, “Write about what you know about; don’t write about, what you don’t know about!” Now that’s common sense.

If you wrote a novel about your family, would anyone want to read it? What would be the surprises? Would it be a page turner? Would it be funny? Would it be sad? What would be the name of the chapters? If it were published, would some story cause family “Uh oh’s?” Would there be lawsuits?

The beauty of a novel is that you can make the facts fiction and the fiction facts.

If you wrote a novel about your family, what would be its title?

HOLY FAMILY SUNDAY

This Sunday is Holy Family Sunday and the Church puts this feast at a perfect time: to reflect on our family near the end of one year – near the beginning of a new year. What has this year been like for your family? What are your hopes for next year?

And this feast is right at Christmas time. And it’s my perception that Christmas is the feast of the immediate family, while Thanksgiving is the feast of the extended family. I don’t know if that’s true for every family. I sense that the weather being better for November means married brothers and sisters get together with their families for Thanksgiving Dinner more than they do for Christmas.

Moreover, Christmas is more intimate. It’s smaller. The key moment is the opening of gifts together – especially to see the faces of little kids. Wrapping paper is important. Days before, kids picking up and shaking and weighing with one’s hands – and guessing and hoping what’s inside a wrapped box is part of the liturgy of family Christmas.

That’s my perception. I don’t know if I’m right. What’s your perception? What’s your family practice? If you were writing a novel, you have to notice these things.

END OF THE YEAR

At the end of the year the media likes to look backwards: picking the top ten events – top ten movies – top ten games – significant deaths – etc. I don’t know about your family, but for years now, we ask each other on New Year’s Eve, “What was your year like? What happened? What were the top ten moments? What was the top moment?”

Then we make predictions for the New Year. I am looking forward to doing this again on December 31st when I’m with my two sisters.

Looking at your family, what was 2009 like for you?

Looking at your family, what are your dreams for 2010 or even the next decade?

Looking at your family, what is the state of the union?

Looking at your family, what does the story sound like?

If it was a novel, what plots and subplots are going on? What are the key events? What are the stories – and the threads of the stories? Who are the key characters? How do they act and interact? How good are you in constructing dialogue? Listen to your family talking to each other. What do they talk about? What are your everyday scenes? Could you put them together in words – recreating what you heard and saw in writing?

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings give us a few options and a few choice ideas and values to reflect upon.

The first reading from the First Book of Samuel [1:20-22, 24-28] is giving us early hints about the future greatness of Samuel. Hints – foreshadowing – is another key to good writing.

The second reading from the First Letter of John [3:1-2, 21-24] tells us we are all called into the Family of God – and the revelation is that when we live as God’s children – we become more and more like God.

And today’s gospel from Luke [2: 41-52] tells the story about Jesus being lost for 3 days – and he is coming of age and says, “I must be about his father’s business.”

If I hear teenagers, if I hear parents, I keep hearing a message of the struggle in growing up – becoming one’s own person – breaking free – yet Jesus supposedly didn’t leave home till he was around 30.

Sometimes I say to teenagers, “Thank God if your parents are strong. Those who lift weights or exercise, push against what is heavy.” Hopefully, parents are strong and want you to make good strong decisions in your life. Hopefully, they care to push and press. Hopefully, they don’t want you to make stupid moves.”

Family. Parenting. Obviously love, balance, and clarity are called for.

What are your reflections this Holy Family Sunday about your family?

If you wrote a novel and you used your family as background, what would the story sound like? Would it be holy?

FAMILY: HAPPY OR UNHAPPY?

I’m guessing that I’ve read Leo Tolstoy’s interesting quote about families about 4 times this year. Each time I wonder, just what did he mean? I don’t know if it’s true. The quote is the opening words of his novel, Anna Karenina, [1878], “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Is that true? What does that mean? Does that trigger anything for you? Do you agree with that? If you were in Barnes and Noble or Borders and you picked up Anna Karenina and read the opening words of the book, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – would you want to read the whole novel?

It’s the whole first paragraph of the story – and I think it’s a great hook?

I think it’s a clever book promotion by Tolstoy.

Without ruining the novel, it describes how this group of connected people – some family – get themselves into various itchy situations – causing lots of unhappiness. It tells about affairs, rejection, a wife living with a husband she doesn’t want to live with, fighting, flirting, accusations, gossip, pregnancy by someone else. The Anna Karenina principle goes like this: “In any system, no one factor guarantees success; however there are factors that guarantee failure.”

And the novel talks about a lot of failures.

Is that the formula for a successful novel? Is unhappiness the formula for a successful novel?

I always remember something a former Los Angeles cop, Joseph Wambaugh, said about the key to his novels and the long time ago NBC TV show, Police Story. “I have people bringing problems in their marriages into work and I have people having problems at work bringing them home.”

How’s that for a family dynamic? The “How was your day?” question can sometimes be very significant in how we treat one another.

Are you taking out on me – what you didn’t take out on someone else?

As priest I wonder if I have heard more of the tough stuff, the rough stuff, the problem stuff, than the good stuff. I wonder if I have heard more about unhappiness than happiness. I was thinking about this as I was putting together this homily last night. I don’t think I have become cynical. I hope not. I have thought at times, “Write a novel!” I started one about a priest and didn’t get that far. I’m too busy. I would like to write more. But I always say to myself what a bishop once told me, “Some of my priests are interfacing more with a computer screen than they are with human faces.” Seeing so many people texting and twittering, cell phoning and computing, this problem the bishop was talking about is not just a priest avoiding people problem, it’s a human being avoiding human being problem.

So If I ever get time to write, that will certainly be part of the story. Trouble is, I don’t get to retire till I am retired. So I figure I’ll have increased dementia and increased need to get to the bathroom – and I won’t be able to finish my novel. But if I do finish it, I promise you, you’ll be in it, but the names will be changed to protect the innocent.

CONCLUSION

How do I end this novel homily?

I don’ t know. So let me close with a quote from another novelist, Jane Austen. In her novel, Emma [1816], she wrote, “Nobody, who has not seen the interior of a family, can say what the difficulties of any individual of that family may be.”

In other words, only we the family know the inside pages, what’s inside the cover of our family book. Only I, the one inside the covers of my skin, know what’s going on inside me.

So I guess the first step is to make sure we take the time to listen to ourselves, to talk to each other and read each other’s stories.

The picture on top is that of a family wedding I saw while on a Baltic Cruise. It was taking place in St. Petersburg, Russia, on the banks of the Neva River - August 28, 2009. Why the picture? Family. Okay. But also scenes from Anna Karenina take place in St. Petersburg. Is that enough? I don't know. Whatever. I was looking for an interesting picture - to capture my theme: Your Family As A Novel. If you're reading this, I caught you to get this far. Smile.