DOUBTING THOMAS
My name is Thomas – and Mr. Ray Dondero invited me here today to tell you my story. Mr. Dondero’s wife, Claire, thought it was a crazy idea to invite me because I’ve been dead almost 2000 years – and with her cute smile she added, “And we’ve had enough dead preachers in our lifetime.”
Yet, Ray went to God and said, “You said, ‘Nothing is impossible with you, God,’ so could you send Thomas the apostle to give the homily at Heritage Harbor on the feast of St. Thomas – July 3rd, 2009”. And surprise, God said, ‘Why not?”
So here I am. Let me tell you some of my story. Oops, I asked Ray how long do homilies take in the year 2009? He said, “8 minutes at the most – unless you’re a Jesuit.” I said, “You’re kidding. Jesus used to speak 20 to 25 minutes, and his Last Supper Sermon went on through the whole meal, but who’s counting?”
Better get started.
My name is Thomas. It’s not my real name. It was my nick name. Like many folks in my time, we went by nick names. Thomas means “Twin.” I’m a twin – but my twin never had his 15 moments of fame. I didn’t plan on being known – or anything like that. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, because Jesus called me to follow him.
I had doubts whether this was a good move, but in the long run, it was the smartest thing I ever did. I had questions – and what I liked about Jesus was he knew how to use questions – to get people thinking. I felt quite stupid at times with my questions – but I realized this was how discipleship worked.
I understand you use the word “teamwork” today. We used the word, “discipleship”. Jesus called folks to follow him – to be his disciples. He taught us stories and teachings and healings – how to live and love one another. Then he sent us out two by two – and the rest is history.
Growing up my father taught us to ask questions. He would say, “The question mark is like a shepherd’s staff which has a hook on the end. It gets sheep out of ditches. Hooks, questions, will get you out of trouble. Instead of giving answers all the time, give out questions, and you’ll hook all kinds of answers.” At other times my dad would say, “Question marks are like fishing hooks. They catch fish?”
And I suspect Jesus the Carpenter loved fishing and shepherding more than carpentry. He often talked about catching fish and finding lost sheep. He found me. He caught me. And Jesus caught people with questions.
So I loved it when Jesus used me. I had heard what John the Baptist said, “I must decrease; he must increase.” That made sense to me – in marriage, at work, in life. It’s not about me. Hey, I knew early on that it’s about God and when I saw Jesus in action, I realized he was something special. I didn’t get him at first. And at times I had my doubts. I had my questions, but I kept following, and sure enough answers came. Jesus would wink to me when I set him up with a question for a great answer – and afterwards he’d come over to me and say, “Thanks for the setup Tom. Thanks for the set up.”
Wait a minute? You might be scratching your heads here, wondering what I’m taking about. I see some questions marks on your faces.
Check your Bibles. Remember that time when Jesus said at our Last Supper together, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” I think it’s in the gospel of John. I didn’t know John was jotting these things down in his memory at the time. He always looked like a dreamer to me. Well, Jesus then said, “You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many mansions. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you may also be. Where I am going you know the way.”
Jesus could be clear when he told his one liners, but this poetry stuff – could be too puzzling to me. So I said, “Teacher, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we knot the way?”
At that Jesus winked a “Thanks” to me as he said, “I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
These past 2000 years I have felt great because I asked the right question at the right time – otherwise people might never have the blessing of Jesus’ words, “I am the way and the truth and the life.” (Cf. John 14:1-7)
And I also looked stupid in the Upper Room that Easter Sunday night when I arrived back too late and they told me that Jesus had been there. He had risen from the dead. I said, “What? You’re kidding? Unless I see the holes the nails made in his hands… unless I can put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
Well, you know the story? It made me famous. It gave me a new nickname that has been stuck on me ever since, “Doubting Thomas.”
And you know how Jesus came a week later into that same Upper Room. This time I was there thank God. Well Jesus singled me out after saying to all of us, “Shalom – Peace to everyone.” Jesus said, “Thomas put your finger here – in the wounds of my hands. Give me your hand. Let me put it in my side. Stop doubting; start believing.”
And I said, “My Lord and my God!”
And Jesus said, “You believe because you can see me. Blessed are those who have not seen and still believed.” (Cf. John 20: 19-29)
Let me conclude this way. I think I’ve been talking for about 7 minutes. I hope it doesn’t feel like eternity.
Well, for the past 2000 years in heaven, countless people came looking for me to thank me for allowing them to have doubts while they were alive. In fact, many whispered to me after looking both ways, “People thought I was rock solid sure with my beliefs, but Thomas, like you, I had my doubts. Thank God you had the courage to voice them.”
And after a great embrace they would leave saying, “So Thomas, thanks for speaking up for all of us who have had our doubts.”
Painting on top,
"Doubting Thomas"
c. 1597-1603
by Michangelo Merisi
da Caravaggio
(1573-1610)
