THE GIFT SHOP

There is a small gift shop, just off Main Street – in this narrow way.

You walk in and you start looking at the different gifts. You spot a gift. It intrigues you. You pick it up – look at it – but then you see the price tag. It’s too, too expensive.

You pick up another gift. It also looks interesting and good, but when you read the writing on the side, you go, “No! Too difficult.” Then you add, “Too expensive.”

You walk around the store looking at everything. You keep checking the different gifts – but you don’t buy anything. You end up walking out of The Gift Show without buying a gift.

You feel a tinge of sadness mixed with inadequacy in that place these feelings show up just below the Adam’s apple in your neck – with some similar bits and pieces of these feelings in your rib cage area.

You walk back up to Main Street where there are a lot more people and a lot more stores.

You see this one store. You’re tempted to go in. You feel an, “Uh oh!” – but you go in anyway. You look at what they have to sell and you start checking out the different items.

You pick up “Gossip!” You look at it very carefully. You say to yourself, “Maybe!” You think, “Well, I already have some of this!” Then you remember a comment someone made about someone the other day, “She’s such a gossip!” At that you put “Gossip” back in its place. You don’t want to be labeled, “A gossip!”

You pick up “Resentment!” Once more you say, “Well, I already have some resentments!” You put it back quickly saying, “Enough of that. Resentments can have a boomerang effect.”

You pick up “Envy!” It’s an ugly green color – and it doesn’t look like something someone would buy. You think, “Why would they think anyone would buy envy?”

You put it down quickly and pick up “Jealousy” which is right next to Envy. It’s a better color – a bright red. You find yourself trying to remember a question someone asked someone at lunch about two months ago – when they were trying to figure out the difference between jealousy and envy. You think the answer was, “Jealousy is worry about losing what your have and envy is wanting what someone else has.” You say to yourself, “I have to admit I have more envy than jealousy in me” and you then you put “Jealousy” back in its place.

You walk out of the store – once more with nothing. And once more you are feeling kind of crusty. You say, “Ugh” to yourself and then add, “I really don’t want any more of those things – but it looks like they sell more of these negative kinds of things on Main Street compared to what they are selling in The Gift Shop.

“The Gift Shop!” You say that out loud as you are walking down Main Street. Someone overhears you and gives you a puzzled face. You turn red a bit – and then turn around and head back towards The Gift Shop.

You turn off Main Street – onto this side street – up this narrow way.

Once more you walk into The Gift Shop and look around.

You pick up a gift called, “Respect!” You think to yourself, “Yeah, I would like to have the ability to show more respect to everyone.” You read the writing on the side of package. You whisper to yourself, “Pretty difficult. Pretty expensive.” You put it back on the shelf and walk deeper into the store.

You pick up “Compassion!” You think, “Now that’s a gift I really need. At times I don’t seem to have any compassion for my Uncle Frank who has been out of work for 4 months now. You remember saying behind his back with a few other members of the family, “Why doesn’t he just get up off his butt and take any job.” Or so and so was really looking forward to this lacrosse season and he ripped his knee and he’s already out for the season – and you realize you never showed him an ounce of compassion.

You put “Compassion” down and pick up “Understanding.” You read on the side of the gift that Solomon was asked by God to pick one gift and he chose the gift of understanding. And it really made an enormous difference in his life as a king. But you also read its implications – that you have to understand that old people are much slower and parents have to play the “Good Cop Bad Cop Game” in order to be good parents and you go, “No!” You put “Understanding” down. It too is too expensive.

You walk around and you spot “Chastity”. You notice it's also labeled “Purity”. “Uum,” you think. “Not that popular a gift among the young.” You smile because it has on the side of the package, “When Saint Augustine before his conversation was challenged with this he said, “Lord, give me chastity, but not yet.” So like lots of people, he put it off till he was older.

Then you come to a shelf where you notice the gift of “Forgiveness.” You think, “This might be just what I need to walk out of this store with. Forgiveness.” You read some of the endorsements on the side of the package. “Tough stuff.” You read that it means not only forgiving God and others, but also forgiving yourself. You think back to that teacher you had in elementary school – who flunked you – and you talked bad talk about her to everyone you met – how she was playing favorites – how she was out to get you – and down deep you knew she was right. You hadn’t studied. Then there was the coach who didn’t put you on the team – and déjà vu, you attacked him as well.

“It’s Lent!” you say to yourself. “Why not try forgiveness for Lent? It’s almost half over. Why not?” So you take the gift of Forgiveness – especially because you also read on the side of the package that Jesus said, “I come with the package! I’m with your all days.” You laugh picturing Jesus like the Verizon Guy on TV who says he comes with the package along with all kinds of backup people. “Yeah,” you think. “I know several people who are really forgiving.”

And you walk out of The Gift Shop – with gift in hand – and you feel a spring in your step and a “Yes!” in your voice.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I gave this as a homily for our St. Mary’s High School students on the 3rd Tuesday of Lent, 2009. The gospel contains the story in Matthew about Peter coming up to Jesus and asking, “Lord, when my brother wrongs me, how often must I forgive him? Is seven times enough?” Jesus says, “Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times.” Then Jesus tells the parable of the person who was forgiven a huge debt – but wouldn’t go out and forgive someone who owed him a tiny amount of money compared to what he had owed the man who forgave him. (Cf. Matthew 18: 21-35.)

© Andy Costello, Homily Reflections, 2009

IRISH BLESSING # 67

Today
may you hear a song inside your mind,
may you feel a dance in your step,
may you have a smile on your face,
may good words flow out of your mouth,
and may generosity jump out of your wallet.
Amen!

THE BLESSING
OF FORGIVENESS

INTRODUCTION

Let me say a few words on forgiveness – one of the great gifts to keep on our fingertips – to be handed out freely at key moments in our lives – especially when there are hurts. So the title of my homily for this St. Patrick's Day is, “The Blessing of Forgiveness.”

REFLECTION

The blessing of forgiveness is twofold – for the one forgiven, but especially for the one who forgives.

Today’s gospel talks about forgiveness – forgiving and being forgiven.

Today’s gospel tells the story about the day Peter asked Jesus the question, “When my brother wrongs me, how often must I forgive him? Is seven times enough?”

Every time I read this – since my name is Andrew – who was the brother of Peter, I hear Peter’s question about forgiveness loud and clear.

And Jesus answers the question with a story – a story about a man who was forgiven a Madoff amount of money that he owed this other guy. As you know Madoff is the guy who made off with a lot of money. This guy doesn’t have to go to jail. He’s forgiven. He goes out side and won’t forgive this man who owes him a tiny fraction of what he was just forgiven. In fact, steaming, he starts screaming at the man, “Pay back what you owe me?” And just as he begged – this man begged him for time. He didn’t forgive like he was forgiven. Instead he had this man thrown into prison till he paid back the last penny that was owed. When word got out on what he did, his fellow servants screamed and went to the master who had forgiven this man in the first place. Well, of course the master had the man arrested and tortured till he paid him back in full.

Today’s gospel has as it’s bottom line: “My heavenly Father will treat you in exactly the same way unless each of you forgives his brother or sister from the heart.”

Today’s gospel basically spells out what we pray about in the Our Father, “Hey God, forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Anyone who knows Irish history knows that the land might be green on top– but underneath it’s red – red from the blood of invaders from the outsider as well as family and tribal feuds by insiders – as is the history of most lands around the world.

Anyone who has been to Ireland knows that Ireland is a land of saints and scholars, rain and rocks. Lots of rocks. Lots of heavy rocks. Lots of old rocks. Rocks everywhere.

Anyone who has been to Ireland knows that one of the key spots to visit is the Blarney Stone. Kiss the Blarney Stone and you’ll have the gift of gab for life. I kissed it in 1996 and it added 5 minutes to every sermon ever since.

There should be a statue sculpted for the person who came up with The Blarney Stone idea. It certainly helped the motel, bed and breakfast, and restaurants in that area of Ireland.

The title of my homily is, “The Blessing of Forgiveness.”

It’s a blessing that instead of throwing stones, people take stones in hand, kiss them goodbye – and drop them to the ground so they can shake hands with their brother or sister.

It’s a blessing that instead of holding onto ways we feel our brother or sister hurt us, we drop those resentments and hurts like dropping stones to the ground. Why do that? Well, anger, hurt, resentments, remembrances of ways we have been hurt by others – being cheated out of money in a will, made fun of behind our back, being dropped like a stone, are all heavy stones to carry.

If dropped, life is that much lighter … and the road of life is that much easier to walk and to enjoy the shamrocks and flowers along the way.

Are all the rocks of Ireland – rocks dropped by brothers and sisters who could have been “Fighting Irish”?

If forgiven, we are blessed.

If able to forgive, we are doubly blessed.

CONCLUSION: IRISH STORY

There is an old Irish story that tells about two friends walking through the desert. An argument began as they walked. One friend slapped the other friend in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand, “Today my best friend slapped me in the face.”

They kept on walking through the desert until they came to an oasis. “Water finally.” As the one who was slapped tip toed towards the water, he got stuck in mud and water and started to drown. The friend saved him. After recovering from nearly drowning, he wrote on a stone, “Today my best friend saved my life.”

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?” The other friend replied: “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Obviously this was a story written by someone who kissed the Blarney Stone – but it has a great message on the importance of forgiveness.

IRISH GIFT BLESSING

When you feel your life is so, so complicated,
when you feel things are too, too intricate,
that at any minute your life could come undone,
that everything and every thread could unravel,
see the finished gift, see the final result,
see the shawl, the scarf, the Irish sweater,
and see the smile on the face of each person
who sees and welcomes you as their gift this day.

© Andy Costello, 2009, Irish Blessings

ANGER BUTTONS

INTRODUCTION

The title of homily is, “Anger Buttons.”

There are machines that exist right now that can tell a lot about our brain – but 100 years from now imagine a machine that will be able to look at a section of our brain where we have all kinds of buttons. And these brain researchers will begin to put labels on our buttons:
· Pleasure Button,
· Fear Button,
· Hunger Button,
· Thirsty Button,
· Escape Button,
· Comfort Button,
· Envy Button,
· Jealousy Button,
· Anger Button.

In this homily, I want to talk about the Anger Button.

TODAY’S GOSPEL

In today’s gospel Jesus walked into the temple and wow did he get angry at what he saw.

It would be like parents leaving their 17 year old in charge of the house for a weekend – with strict orders of “No parties”, “No going out!” “We trust you to watch your brother and sister aged 13 and 11.” It was mom and dad’s 20th wedding anniversary and they wanted to have a weekend alone together in New York City. Around 4 PM on Saturday afternoon they get a cell phone call in New York that dad’s sister in Virginia got sick and had to be hospitalized, so they headed back home, with the idea of driving to the hospital in Virginia on Sunday morning. Coming up to their house around 9:30 PM, they saw lots of cars and what looked like a big time party going on inside.

They walked in. Seeing the booze and this and that, they became furious and threw all the other kids out of their house.

In today’s gospel Jesus comes into the temple and sees the buying and the selling and the sheep and the oxen and the doves and he becomes furious. He makes a whip out of cords and drives everyone and everything out of the temple. He overturned the moneychangers’ tables yelling, “Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!”

And we’ve heard dozens of sermons that make the point that there is such a thing as just anger – because here is a case where Jesus got angry. Or the preacher makes the point that Jesus is not always meek and quiet.

I remember a single mother telling me every 5 years or so in raising her 5 kids she would destroy a whole set of expensive dishes – throwing them one by one or in bunches against the walls – smashing them on the floor. She added, “It scared the devil out of them and they knew who was boss for about six months.” She added, “It was well worth the price of the dishes!”

She’s dead now – but I’m sure her kids with a smile on their faces love to tell the story about their mom – way back when. I wonder if any of those 5 kids do the same with their kids and dishes from time to time.

I just spent 4 days on retreat with some of our junior high school kids, senior leaders and other adults – and once more I can say, “Parenting has to be a very rewarding, as well as a very tough job.”

WHAT GETS YOU ANGRY?

Imagine if those researchers who find this part of the brain where our buttons are – find out that there is also a deeper section under each button that has further buttons – like anger over fairness, or traffic, or injustice, or phoniness, or long sermons, or cold food, or drunk drivers or on how people vote or about dog poop that is not cleaned up. They find out that there are lots of little buttons there – and these specific anger buttons vary from person to person.

TODAY’S FIRST READING

Today’s first reading from the Book of Exodus lists not only the 10 commandments – but several other commandments as well.

Rules and regulations, commandments and laws, are the result of people getting together to put down on paper or stone – what they want and don’t want.

Parents when they settle down after discovering their kids had an unauthorized party while they were away, will say something like this, “When we put you in charge of the house and in charge of your younger brother and sister, we expected you to obey our commandment and not have a party when we are away. We have entrusted to you to take care of your brother and sister and our home. The police could have shown up instead of us. The neighbors might have called. There could be an accident or a lawsuit.”

Rules and regulations, commandments and laws, are often the Golden Rule spelled out more specifically. We don’t want someone trying to cheat with our spouse, so we better not cheat with someone else’s spouse. We wouldn’t want someone stealing our wallet or laptop or garden hose, so we better not steal someone else’s property. We wouldn’t want someone telling lies or bearing false witness against us, so we better not talk about our neighbor’s dirty laundry or rumors or spread our conjectures on what’s going on next door.

ANGER: 10 QUESTIONS

Anger is a good topic and issue to reflect upon during Lent. Here are ten questions:

1. What are my buttons? What bugs me? What bothers me?
2. Do I have a long or a short fuse?
3. What are my values? – Looking at my anger – revisiting the angry moments of my life can tell me what my values are.
4. Am I a lion at home and a lamb outside the house?
5. What should I be angry about and I’m not?
6. Am I holding an anger or resentment against someone for years? Who is it? What is it? Is it worth looking at or letting it sit. There is that old saying, “Let sleeping dogs lie.”
7. Am I aware of someone who is angry at me for something I did wrong from way back? Would that box be worth opening – or would it be a Pandora’s Box?
8. Do I see God angry and is God angry with anything about me?
9. Have I ever had a good discussion with my spouse or family or others about anger – what bugs each of us around the house or what have you – how we handle anger, how we see others handling anger, etc.?
10. Do I know someone who is always angry? What’s with them?

CONCLUSION: SOME BOTTOM LINES

Here are a few first draft conclusions about anger:

There are some things we should get angry about and there are some things we shouldn’t get angry about.

Communication skills help. For example, changing pronouns from “you” to “I” can help at times. Instead of yelling, “You are driving me crazy!”, say, “I go crazy at times when we’re supposed to be somewhere at 7 P.M. and I’m standing at the door or the car waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and we get to the meeting or the movie or the Smith house 20 minutes late every time.”

Specific complaints are better than general complaints. For example, instead of saying, “You’re making me nervous!” say something like, “I get nervous when we speed up and rush to get almost on top of the car in front of us and we have to brake every time – whereas other drivers seem to calmly let cars have 3 to 4 to 5 car lengths between each car if possible.” In other words, there are type A drivers and type B drivers and type A drivers have to get new brakes much sooner than type B drivers.

Then there is today’s second reading from 1st Corinthians which has a powerful statement that should intrigue all of us. St. Paul talks about Christ as God – showing us the power and wisdom of God. God’s wisdom is interesting. The all powerful God is crucified on a cross. This is a stumbling block to the Jews who wanted God to wipe out all enemies. This is foolishness to the Gentiles who are being told about a God who dies on a cross. Then Paul says, “the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

Today we Redemptorists celebrate the life of one of our saints, St. Clement Hofbauer [1751-1820]. The story we always heard was about the time he went into a tavern looking for money for his orphans – and a guy seeing this priest enter the pub spits in his face and made fun of him. Clement responded by saying, “That’s for me. How about something for my orphans?” And wow did that work. His hat was filled with money.

Maybe the strongest person is the person who shuts up and takes it all – like Jesus who was spit at when scourged and then killed on a cross – but in the meanwhile – sometimes we better scream when the Church has become a marketplace or our kids might be ruining themselves and our home – or when someone is driving while drunk or very dangerously.

Timing is everything. Wisdom is long in coming! Lent is a good time to be in God’s house to consider and reconsider these serious issues. Amen.

POWERFUL SCENES,
POWERFUL MOMENTS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Powerful Scenes, Powerful Moments.”

What have been the powerful scenes, the powerful moments of your life? Everyone has them: what are your’s?

Lent is a serious time – a time to reflect on the powerful scenes and the powerful moments, not only in scripture – but also in our lives – and to connect the two.

These moments can be teaching moments – scenes that contain life’s lessons – some bitter, some sweet – important insights not to be missed.

A small moment of insight that I learned in life was from the life of Robert Coles – a remarkable Harvard child psychiatrist – who has written amongst other things on The Spiritual Life of Children. * If I remember correctly, on a TV documentary he once said, “I was talking to Anna Freud and she suggested that I go back and look at my notes that I had taken while interviewing kids many years ago.” He said he did just that and was amazed at all the things he saw now and missed back then.

What I got out of that simple story was the power of taking time to do homilies, prayers and reflections on the scriptures of my own life.

As priest I’ve gone through the Sunday scripture readings every year since 1965 – and every time I read these texts I’m hit with new stuff. Sometimes I’ve looked at sermons from way back when and I go, “Oooh!”

So too the scriptures, the stories, the powerful scenes and the powerful moments of my life.

Suggestion: Take a rosary – use just one decade – 10 beads – and finger the 10 beads and come up with the 10 most powerful scenes and moments of our life.

Next: can we say a “Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit” for each of those moments?

It might take a car ride alone, a week, or all of Lent to do this. Jot them down - and read them 10 years from now as well - and I'm sure you too will see a lot that you missed.

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings have 3 powerful scenes, 3 powerful moments.

Today’s first reading in Jewish tradition and literature is called, “The Akedah” or “The Binding.”

Abraham is called upon to take his own son, Isaac, up a mountain, tie or bind him down, then sacrifice, burn, make a holocaust of him. Wooo! I’m sure you felt an “Oooh! when you heard today’s first reading. Why was Abraham going to sacrifice his son? Because God said so. Then God says, “Stop!” The test is over. Abraham passed the test. He was willing to sacrifice his first born son from Sarah because God had said so – the son of the promise that Abraham’s descendants would be as numerous as the stars of the sky and the sands on the seashore.

Powerful scene. Powerful moment. Jewish and Christian theologians have wrestled with this story ever since. But not only theologians, philosophers like Kierkegaard and Kant and Dirida and others have joined in the discussion.

The story triggers serious ethical questions.

Today’s second reading talks about God the Father not sparing his own Son. Isaac was not killed on that mountain. Jesus, the only Son of the Father, was killed on the mount of Calvary.

Then, surprise, even though Jesus was killed – was sacrificed – was wiped out, his descendants are now well over 1 billion.

Today’s gospel has a 3rd powerful scene, 3rd powerful moment: Jesus taking Peter, James and John up a mountain – just like Abraham taking Isaac up the mountain in today’s first reading, and Jesus is transfigured before them. It’s a powerful scene of light and voice and amazement. We are told that Jesus is the beloved Son of the Father. We are told to listen to Jesus. Then Jesus on the way down from the heights of the mountain tells his disciple to listen to him: “Don’t tell anyone what you saw up there until the Son of Man had risen from the dead.” They listened and didn’t tell anyone about what Jesus said till after he had risen from the dead.

Powerful scenes. Powerful moments.

QUESTION REPEATED

What are the powerful scenes, powerful moments of your life?

Are they sorrowful or glorious, joyful or light bearing - or all of the above?

Some say that Abraham’s test was a powerful moment in world history – when the author or authors of this ancient story – a story with a very primitive idea of God – were trying to put an end to child sacrifice – a practice that existed in our world at that time.

What are the powerful scenes, powerful moments of our time and our lives?

In my last year in college, in a course on ethics, it came to debate time. The professor picked a series of ethical topics and randomly divided us by two for the issues he wanted us to cover. Randomly he also told one of us to be for an issue, one against it. A classmate from Paraguay and I were given the issue of Capital Punishment. Ray was told to be for it; I was told to be against it.

It was the luck of the draw. I often wondered if I was given the job of being for it, would I have been for it ever since? I don’t know.

Ray gave his presentation first. After finishing, our professor said, “Good job. Next.”

I lost the debate because just as I was getting into my presentation, our professor stood up and yelled, “Costello sit down. You’re wrong. We need Capital Punishment.”

I’ve thought about that moment at various times in my life – and recently with the issue of Capital Punishment here in the state of Maryland. Why are people for it? Why are people against it? Is it random – or have people thought it out? I have kept up my reading and research on the issue all through the years – and am more strongly against it now than when I first was asked to research the topic in college. I know it’s a hot button issue and just like my college professor who yelled, “Costello, sit down!” some of you might yell inwardly, “Costello shut up. We need Capital Punishment!”

I’ve learned life has its “Hot Button Issues!”

My mother was killed in a hit and run accident. It was a horrible scene and a horrible moment, but our family realized pretty soon, it would not be smart to let this ruin the rest of our lives. In fact, we believed that my mother would not want it so. We hope the driver learned from the tragedy. We forgave him. We certainly learned an awful lot – stress on the awful.

What have been the powerful scenes, the powerful moments of your life?

COMEDY AND TRAGEDY

Divine comedy and divine tragedy are part of life. Sometimes we laugh; sometimes we cry. Sometimes we do both.

Life – like in the rosary has joyful, sorrowful, glorious and light bearing mysteries. What are your joyful, sorrowful, glorious, and light bearing moments and scenes – the mysteries in your history?

Today’s first reading is not far fetched. People in this world do crazy things. These children – these men and women – who wear vests filled with explosives and kill themselves to kill others – are at times supported by their families. Crazy. Insane. And supposedly some are doing this in God’s name.

Too bad they don’t reflect upon the call to bring life and not death into our world. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that person, instead of killing themselves and others, became a person willing to sacrifice his or her life to be like Gandhi and to try to change the world by non-violence?

Take the horror of abortion. The one life killed stops a whole line of possible life to come. We pinch ourselves because our mom and dad gave us this great gift of life. Thank you, mom and dad.

One of the lessons for me on abortion has been that I have met people – men more than women - who are pro life – who sometimes don’t seem to have the sensitivity or the caring love for the horror someone who had an abortion has gone through. I have squirmed during some sermons and comments from the pulpit or from seeing posters in church vestibules that in my estimation would have people walk out of that Catholic Church never to return. I personally don’t think this is the best way to end a culture of death. I am well aware that others see this differently. Obviously, those who are pro abortion – don’t seem to see what those who think abortion is wrong are seeing. One great paradox for me is that some complain that Pope Pius XII and Christians didn’t speak up and march against the Holocaust – the killing of millions of Jewish people during the Nazi regime in Germany – as well as other genocides – and then when we speak up against abortion we are thought to be ignorant and wrong. Hopefully, when people look back at our time – say from 2109 – they will say we protested and stopped the killing of unwanted babies by abortion back in our century.

So my last life learning has been we all have life’s learnings – and once a mind is made up, a mind is made up. I have learned that we’re all pretty stubborn – and yet we are called to live together. That doesn’t mean I can stop doing home work on life’s issues. It does mean I have to stop seeing the spots I see in other people’s behaviors and logic and as a result I might be missing the log jam in my own logic and sinfulness.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is: “Powerful Scenes, Powerful Moments.”

Lent is a good time to look at them.

What are your life learnings? As you look at the powerful scenes and powerful moments of your life, what have you learned?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Painting on top, "Abraham Sacrificing Isaac", 1650, Laurent de LaHire. Tap your cursor on the painting to get a better close up.

* Robert Coles, The Spiritual Life of Children, Houghton Mifflin Company, Boston, 1990, pp. 358. I would recommend this book to not only those who teach children, but also to parents.

SITTING UNDER

THE STATIONS

OF THE CROSS





© 2009 by Rev. Andrew Costello, CSSR