VICIOUS CIRCLE # 6


“You remind me of my father.”

“There you go again.
What do you mean by saying,
‘I remind you of your father?’”

“Well, you remind me of my father.”

“Now, that’s stupid.
He and I are two totally different persons.”

“Well, you are so like him.”

“Listen. Years ago, someone said,
‘Be careful of women who say,
you remind them of their father.’”

“Well you do."

“Well, I don’t. You’re just being stupid.”

“There you go again.”

“Wait a minute. If you’re so smart,
tell me how I remind you of your father?”

“Well, when he talked, he talked at me.
He kept on saying I was stupid.”

“Well, if you think I’m like your father,
then you are stupid.”

“There you go again - calling me
stupid just like my father."

Silence!

“Well, I never liked my mother
and you remind me of my mother.”

© Andy Costello,

Reflections, 2009

LENT

Lent
is forty days of annual leave
from being self centered.

It’s a time to repair
broken relationships
with God, with others
with self.
It’s a time of prayer.
It’s a chance to sacrifice time and money
for the forgotten and the poor.
It’s a forty days journey
with Christ to Jerusalem.
It’s a time to stop along the way,
to listen to his parables
and his teachings,
to help his body,
to be present to all we meet,
along the way.

It’s a journey with Jesus
towards the Father,
towards the cross,
to die with Him,
to rise with Him,
to a new way of living,
year after year after year.

© Andy Costello,

Reflections, 2009

BACK BENCH PRAYER


Lord, here I am in this back bench again.
To be honest,
I don’t know how to pray.
To be honest,
I don’t know what to say.
To be honest,
I wish I could pray like that person
up there in the front of church,
but I can’t. In fact, right now
I want to run. I have this crank
in my soul that keeps mumbling,
“What’s the use? I keep repeating
these same old sins. I keep making
these same mistakes and resolutions
over and over again.”
Yet, here I’m am Lord – half sitting,
half kneeling – half present
with all these back bench folks in churches,
each of us repeating and praying
the same old prayer the man
in Luke chapter 18, verses 9-14
whispered,
“God, be merciful to me a sinner.”
“God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”

© Andrew Costello,

Prayers, 2009

WARM AND COLD

Some people
wearing smiles
that warm my heart.
Other people
sour and dour,
wearing heavy coats
over their souls.

© Andy Costello,
Reflections, 2009

PERVADING

If rainy, snowy, dark January
or February days slide into
and invade our bones,
how much more does
a cold look, a nasty word,
or worse, the deadening
quiet of a frozen relationship
pervade us? If, and when, 
they happen, then prepare 
oneself for a long cold winter.

© Andy Costello,

Reflections, 2009

EAR AND HEART

Listen.
The heart is a musical instrument,
a piano, a violin, a saxophone.
Listen.
The heart has so many sounds –
some smooth, some strident,
cord and discord.
Listen.
The heart also has its background sound,
it’s ongoing beat – its predominate tune?
Listen.
The heart has its music, its mood, its memories,
ongoing pieces we keep repeating.
Listen.
The heart has so many feelings
and so many missed sensitivities.
Listen.The heart needs to be its own audience,
before we can really hear another’s heart.
Listen ….

© Andy Costello,

Reflections, 2009

STILLNESS

The washing machine finishes its cycle.
The dryer ends with a sudden shake.
The toilet tank becomes silent when filled.
The moon sits silently in the sky.
The pond has no ripples.
My heart knows what it needs to do.

© Andy Costello,

Reflections, 2009