2 MARTHA AND MARY POEMS

Poem for Today - July 29, 2014

THE SONS OF MARTHA

The Sons of Mary seldom bother, for they have inherited that good part;

But the Sons of Martha favour their Mother of the careful soul and the troubled heart.

And because she lost her temper once, and because she was rude to the Lord her Guest,

Her Sons must wait upon Mary's Sons, world without end, reprieve, or rest.

It is their care in all the ages to take the buffet and cushion the shock.

It is their care that the gear engages; it is their care that the switches lock.

It is their care that the wheels run truly; it is their care to embark and entrain,

Tally, transport, and deliver duly the Sons of Mary by land and main.

They say to mountains, "Be ye removed." They say to the lesser floods, "Be dry."

Under their rods are the rocks reproved -- they are not afraid of that which is high.

Then do the hill-tops shake to the summit -- then is the bed of the deep laid bare,

That the Sons of Mary may overcome it, pleasantly sleeping and unaware.

They finger death at their gloves' end where they piece and repiece the living wires.

He rears against the gates they tend: they feed him hungry behind their fires.

Early at dawn, ere men see clear, they stumble into his terrible stall,

And hale him forth like a haltered steer, and goad and turn him till evenfall.

To these from birth is Belief forbidden; from these till death is Relief afar.

They are concerned with matters hidden -- under the earthline their altars are --

The secret fountains to follow up, waters withdrawn to restore to the mouth,

And gather the floods as in a cup, and pour them again at a city's drouth.

They do not preach that their God will rouse them a little before the nuts work loose.

They do not teach that His Pity allows them to drop their job when they dam'-well choose.

As in the thronged and the lighted ways, so in the dark and the desert they stand,

Wary and watchful all their days that their brethren's days may be long in the land.

Raise ye the stone or cleave the wood to make a path more fair or flat --

Lo, it is black already with blood some Son of Martha spilled for that!

Not as a ladder from earth to Heaven, not as a witness to any creed,

But simple service simply given to his own kind in their common need.

And the Sons of Mary smile and are blessed -- they know the Angels are on their side.

They know in them is the Grace confessed, and for them are the Mercies multiplied.

They sit at the Feet -- they hear the World -- they see how truly the Promise runs.

They have cast their burden upon the Lord, and -- the Lord He lays it on Martha's Sons!

© Rudyard Kipling

Painting on top

of this poem,

Christ in the House

of Martha and Mary

by Diego Velazquez, 1618

Or

MARTHA AND MARY

Martha was busy and hurried,
Serving the friend divine,
Cleansing the cups and platters,
Bringing the bread and wine;
But Martha was careful and anxious
Fretted in thought and in word.

She had no time to be sitting
While she was serving the Lord,
For Martha was "cumbered with serving,
Martha was "troubled" with "things"---
Those that would pass with the using---
She was forgetting her wings.

Mary was quiet and peaceful,
Learning to love and to live.
Mary was hearing His precepts,
Mary was letting Him give---
Give of the riches eternal,
Treasures of mind and of heart;
Learning the mind of the Master,
Choosing the better part.

Do we ever labor at serving
Till voices grow fretful and shrill,
Forgetting how to be loving,
Forgetting how to be still?
Do we strive for "things" in possession,
And toil for the perishing meat,
Neglecting the one thing needful---

Sitting at Jesus' feet?

Service is good when he asks it,
Labor is right in its place,
But there is one thing better,
Looking up in his face;
There is so much he can tell us,
Truths that are precious and deep;
This is the place where he wants us,
These are the things we can keep.

© Annie Johnson Flint

Painting on top of this poem,
"Martha and Mary"
 by Johannes Vermeer, 1655

(c) 

TONGUES  IN  TREES, 

BOOKS  IN  THE RUNNING BROOKS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 17^th Monday in Ordinary Time is, “Tongues In Trees, Books In The Running Brooks.”

It’s part of a comment by the Duke Senior – the banished older brother of  Duke Frederick in Shakespeare’s play, As You Like It.

Duke Senior is calm and tells the audience one can learn a lot from just looking around a lot.

Here’s how his speech about how learning from wherever  or whenever things go wrong goes; It’s found in  Act 2, Scene 1, lines 12-17.

            
           Sweet are the uses of adversity,
           Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
           Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
           And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
           Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
           Sermons in stones, and good in every thing.

TODAY’S READINGS

That’s the thought that hit me from today’s readings.

In the first reading - Jeremiah 13: 1-11 - we learn about a loin cloth. Did you ever learn something from your underwear? How interesting?!

Today’s gospel – Matthew 13: 31-35 -  we hear some learnings from a mustard seed – which becomes a large mustard plant or bush. Jesus also talks about learning from yeast  “that a woman took and mixed with three measures of wheat flour until the whole batch was leavened.”

Matthew tells us this was how Jesus taught and preached – with parables.

US

I like to picture Jesus in the carpenter shop or in the kitchen – watching Mary and Joseph. What was he seeing? What was he thinking about?

I like to picture Jesus walking around town and village – farm and field – before he began his preaching – and learning lessons from wheat and bread, grapes and vines and wine, fish nets, wild flowers, the birds of the air and how people are at funerals.

I like to read the gospels – put my finger on some saying or some scene - and ask when Jesus saw this scene and what did he see – or some saying – what was the experience that triggered his thoughts?

I like to read folk literature and sayings from all kinds of cultures. They tell me what Shakespeare said in the comment Duke Senior made in the Arden Forest about learning from trees and brooks.

I like to walk around and see what’s around me – and ask, “What’s the lesson here?”

I haven’t been in too many garbage dumps – what a classroom that would be. What would it be like to take a class of kids to the local dump?

I have walked in graveyards and read the stones – and reflected upon the life of the persons below the earth.

I have looked at knick knacks on book shelves and window sills in homes and wondered on the story behind the story.

FOUR QUESTIONS – LIFTING YOUR MIND UPWARDS

Did you ever swat and kill a fly and start to think afterwards, “That wasn’t fair! That fly wasn’t really bothering me. What would the rest of that fly’s life be like – if I hadn’t killed him or her?  Did you ever think: ‘Maybe this fly had a bucket list and I just dissed him or her?’”

Did you ever spot a dozen red roses – all dead – all dried out – just lying there near the top of garbage can – near a curb? Did you ever start wondering the back story of those roses? Why weren’t they saved? What happened?

How about wedding albums? Where do they go when there is a divorce?

Have you ever  spotted names or initials in a tree or on cement or in a tattoo on an arm or ankle and the other is with someone else? What happened? What’s the story?

CONCLUSION

Shakespeare said, “All the World’s a Stage” – but today I’m saying he also said, “All the world’s a classroom.” Walk among the trees and listen to the sounds around you.” Amen.

FACE  YOURSELF 

Poem for Today - July 28, 2014 

LOOKING FOR YOUR OWN FACE

Your face is neither infinite nor ephemeral.

You can never see your own face,

only a reflection, not the face itself.

So you sigh in front of mirrors and cloud the surface.

It's better to keep your breath cold.

Hold it, like a diver does in the ocean.

One slight movement, the mirror-image goes.

Don't be dead or asleep or awake.

Don't be anything.

What you most want,

what you travel around wishing to find,

lose yourself as lovers lose themselves,

and you'll be that.

© Attar

Page 57 in

The Hand of Poetry

Five Mystic Poets of Persia

 PICK  A  WORD 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 17 Sunday in Ordinary Time, (A) is, “Pick A Word.”

I was visiting someone in Anne Arundel Medical Center the other day. As I was going out – I spotted - between the front desk and the staircase to the garage - various words on a wall like: “Honesty, Integrity, Hope, etc.”

When I got back here to St. Mary’s I went over to our high school – to drop into a luncheon for one of the staff who was moving to Florida. On the wall there was a list of words as well, “Honesty, Hard Work, Intelligence, Faith, Hope, Charity, Peace.”

I said to myself, “The staircase over in the Elementary School has a list of words on the steps as well.”

Then I thought, “I’m willing to bet every school in the world – well not every school  – but many schools have their list of words – reminders to work to be the best.”

IBM used to have just one word, “Think!”

And remember the Love sculptures. Here's one in New York City:

*

OKAY TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s first reading - 1 Kings 3:5, 7-12 -  has the famous story and the famous moment in the life of Solomon – the wisest king in all the world. The story is told in classic form.  At night in a dream the Lord appears to Solomon – and says, “Ask something of me and I will give it to you.”

It’s the old, “You have one wish!” story.

I’m sure preachers all over the world this weekend will be giving the same sermon idea of understanding that I’m preaching on this weekend.

You have one wish, one dream, one hope, one desire, one fire, what is it? Make a wish. 

Solomon asked for the gift of understanding. 

What would you ask for? Put it in one word – if possible. Ooops, “Winning the lottery” is three words.

Next time I go to Anne Arundel Medical Center I’m going to look to see if that word "understanding" is there – so too our schools – so too the many places I’ve seen this idea of listing words, listing values, listing hopes, listing desires, listing dreams.

The title of my homily is, “Pick a Word.”

Would you pick the word, “Understanding.” Would that be your deepest dream – your highest hope?

BAPTISM

I have a joke I use at every baby baptism and it gets a laugh every time – because I believe it contains a great truth.

Every baptism of a baby begins this way:

“What name do you give your child?”

“What do you ask of God’s Church for _____ Name?”

Then the priest or deacon doing the baptism says, “You have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so you are accepting the responsibility of training him or her in the practice of our faith. It will be your duty to bring her or him up to keep God’s commandments as Christ has taught us, by loving God and our neighbor.”  Then the question: “Do you clearly understand what your are undertaking?”

And the answer in the book is, “We do.”

And I always love to say, “Wanna bet?” And I bet I get a laugh and a smile every time from my off the cuff comment.

I say all that – because we don’t understand. There’s not only the terrible two’s ahead, but the teenage years – as well as the rest of our life ahead of us.

UNDERSTANDING? A GIFT OR A VIRTUE TO BE WORKED FOR?

Is understanding a total gift – or is something we can work to acquire?

Or is it both?

It certainly is a gift to be prayed for.

It is a characteristic to be desired – hopefully.

It is a characteristic that can be worked on.

Stephen Covey’s Habit 5  of his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is: “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.”

To understand is to listen,  to get inside another’s shoes and skin and mind if possible, to accept that another can see what I’m not seeing or my take on something - and especially to ask questions – like the big one: “If I hear you correctly, your understanding here is this: ____________________.”

AT OUR FUNERAL – DEAD OR ALIVE?

I was at a wake last Monday afternoon. Not knowing the lady who died, I asked those gathered there – family and friends, “Can you put into words – one word would be wonderful – what Louise was like? I didn’t know her and I want to say a few words at her funeral Mass tomorrow – and I don’t do canned.”

Out came wonderful words, “Giving, loving, caring, funny, energetic, patient, dedicated, understanding, hard worker, mom, friend, sister, grandma…..”

Question: How do we want people to describe us when we die?

Question: How do we want people to describe us when we are alive?

Question: How do we not want to be described right now – better how do we want to be right now?

The title of my homily is, “Pick a Word.”

Would we pick the word “Understanding” in answer to a hoped for self-description?

I’m sure we don’t want someone to say, “My boss, he just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand.” “My dad – no way – no clue – he doesn’t understand.” “That priest – no - he just doesn’t understand.”

When people on the phone from some other state and situation tell me that they want to talk to a priest – but whom? – I tell them go to your local church – go to Mass – and watch, look and listen and ask yourself, “Would this guy understand?”

So too teachers, therapists, counselors, doctors, friends? Ask around: “Who listens?”  “Who understands?”

JESUS – THE WORD MADE FLESH THAT GOD UNDERSTANDS

Many people – that I have tried to listen to have said – or I think this is what they are saying, “I don’t think God understands.”

I also think they have a different take on God than the one I have. Don’t we all?

As priest it kills me – when people have a guerrilla God – or an angry God – or I’m going to get you God – and that God is found not just in Islam and other religions – it’s found in our religion – because our scriptures present people and their take on God.  

My creed is this: I believe Jesus is God’s word saying, “I understand.”

Jesus walked around – stood around – listened – learned – grew in wisdom age and grace – and then entered not only into the lives of the people who reached out to him in the Gospel stories – but to those he reached out to – and his words, his parables, his wisdom sayings still reach out to till today.

Forgive 7 times 70 times – drop the rocks – stop judging – turn the other cheek – go the extra mile – if you’re a lost sheep, make your prayer a loud, Baa! Baa! Baa! The Good Shepherd will find you. If you’re feeling like a prodigal son, come home. The father is waiting. If you’re the older brother, come on, reach out to those who messed up and want father and family again.

Today’s gospel has three parables – the field, the pearl, the net.

Don’t we all wonder at times if we’re in the right field, the right marriage, the right relationships, the right job, the right neighborhood, the right place?

Don’t we all search for the pearl of great price – not knowing what it is we really want?

Don’t we all sit down at times and look at our net worth – what we have netted so far – and we sort out the good from the bad?

Speaking of pearls, what do you think of Pearl Bailey’s comment on all this in her book, The Raw Pearl [1968],  when she said, “There’s a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside.”

Please God, when we sort out our lives – from time to time – like on vacation – like in the doctor’s office, we don’t become sour  inside – that we don’t become bitter – but that we become ever so understanding of each other.

I often quote and remember and use Nathaniel Hawthorne’s’ story about the two women in a New England town. One walked around with her nose in the air – looking down on half the town and the other finally said, “Deary, why don’t you commit a really good sin and then you’ll understand the rest of us?”

THE CHURCH

As you might have noticed we have a new pope – and different popes have different personalities – and different takes – on what it takes to be a follower of Christ. Please take that in an understanding way. As you also know we have another synod coming up – in Rome – and they want to look at finances, abuse – and especially the family.

And there was a questionnaire send out on some hot button issues – and people’s take on various questions: marriage, divorce, communion, family size, etc. In general I’ve heard that the idea was good – but the questionnaire needed a lot of work. I’m assuming it’s an attempt by this pope and our church in listening and understanding.

 Speaking about the church, Charles Curran, a priest who has had struggles with those in authority in our church talked about what he learned from  an essay, “Ethics, Ecclesiology, and the Grace of Self Doubt.” It was written by Margaret Farley. She’s one of the nuns who has had a tough time with those in authority in the Catholic Church as well. Charles Curran wrote, “The grasp for certitude too easily shuts the mind and sometimes closes the heart. The grace of self-doubt allows for epistemic humility, the basic condition for communal and individual moral discernment.”

When I read that, I went “Woo!”

It triggered memories of meeting all kinds of people who want our church to be dogmatic – clear – exact – tough – strong – and that’s why I’m in it. I need that rock – no doubt about it.

To me their death sentence often is: “I can’t stand!” They say lots of, "I can't stand it when they ...."  "I can't stand it when they ...."  "I can't stand it when they...."

To me their life sentence would better be: “I’m trying to understand.”

That comment about “the grace of self-doubt” also trigged a dozen conversations with folks have left the Catholic Church  - because they felt there was no room for them in it – with their understandings about women in the church – or this and that – or people who are regular thinking people – who like me have doubts – about all kinds of things – especially myself.

Doubts – different understandings – questions – what if’s – I see them as normal. It’s life. It’s what anyone over 55 does more and more as they get older.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Pick A Word.”

If that word is “understanding” do some standing under it this coming week and see what self understandings hit you.

I’ll close with a tiny story – a story I have doubts about telling from the pulpit – but it was a story that has helped my morale down through the years.

Once upon a time – long before I came here to Annapolis -  I was giving a  priest retreat in a diocese  in the United States. Near the end I told the bishop that I’d give his regards to the bishop of the diocese I was stationed in – if I run into him. Well,  I ran into that bishop two weeks later and I gave him the regards of the bishop of the diocese where I had just given the priest retreat in.  The bishop said thanks, then said of that bishop “He’s a nice guy but I always wished he’d have a doubt every once and a while.”

Woops I thought. Then afterwards I said to myself, “Thank you. We’re all human and we’re all in this all together after all. I get it. I understand.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* This Love Sculpture is at 1359, Avenue of America - New York City. It's between 55th and 56th Streets and 6th Avenue. It's based on a Christmas card designed in 1964  by Robert Indiana - for the nearby Museum of Modern Art. Check out on Google Love Sculpture and you'll see where they can be seen around the world.

DISCOVERY

Poem for Today - July 27, 2014

THE BRIGHT FIELD

I have seen the sun break through
to illuminate a small field
for a while, and gone my way
and forgotten it. But that was the
pearl of great price, the one field that had
treasure in it. I realise now
that I must give all that I have
to possess it. Life is not hurrying

on to a receding future, nor hankering after
an imagined past. It is the turning
aside like Moses to the miracle
of the lit bush, to a brightness
that seemed as transitory as your youth
once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

© R.S. Thomas

ANGELS!  

I'T'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. 

Poem for Today - July 26, 2014

JACOB

Years and scars later
I finally learn

All angels travel

Under assumed names.

© George Garrett

BEING  NAMED  AFTER

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Being Named After.”

Today is the feast of St. James – St. James the Great. He and his brother John, also great, were among the first 4 people called by Jesus to follow him.

At times he gets mixed up with James the Less – also one of the 12 apostles. Then there are the author of the Letter of James – a New Testament document – as well as James the Bishop of Jerusalem. These also we’re not sure, who’s who.

HAVING SOMEONE NAMED AFTER US

From what I read this morning in preparing this homily – we can leave those questions to further research and speculation.

However thinking about names can lead to a simple thought for today: Live a good life – so that people will name a baby after you.

I think that’s a noble theme….

When I do a baptism for  one or two babies – I ask couples why they chose the name they chose for their baby.

Sometimes they say it’s because there was this wonderful aunt or uncle – or grandparent.

Sometimes – it still happens – people are following a family tradition – Jr’s – or a parent’s name or a variation of it – or they add that middle name.

A childhood buddy named his adopted son after me – because he was born the day I was ordained a priest.

Recently the answer to my question about why parents chose a certain name was that the mom was naming her daughter after the nickname of a little girl who had cancer and was also filled with great courage. As nanny she said to herself, “If ever I have a baby girl,  I’ll name her Lula after that courageous little girl.”

SAINTS’ NAMES

The old tradition of naming a baby after a saint has certainly lessened – but because of that tradition – a lot of men have been named after James.

The stories of priests refusing to baptize a baby the name the parents came up with – because it wasn’t a saints’ name – certainly has stopped for the most part – but I still hear horror stories from the past.

Parents have the right to name their child the name they choose for their child. I do hear some horror stories about those choices.

CHOOSING A NAME: 4 SUGGESTIONS

If anyone is interested, having just said what I said, here are 4 thoughts about names for a baby.

First, choose a name that sounds sweet or neat or what have you – especially when combined with the kid’s last name. Sound is important! Someone said, “Go out on the back porch or front steps and scream: “_____ it’s time for supper.”  If the name doesn’t sound or seem right in a scream, think differently.

If it’s a boy, think of teenage boys making fun of a kid’s name. Lessen those possibilities – with the choice of the kids’ name.

Thirdly, don’t give a kid a name where people are going to be asking the person for the rest of their lives, “How do you spell that.” Or “How do you pronounce that?”

Fourth and last: pick a name that has a story – background – a reason –something to be proud of. For example, I’ve heard people say that the name they chose is  the name of a doctor or a nurse – who helped tremendously – or a buddy who died in the war or what have you. Give the kid a story that can be told through the years. Isn’t that one of the reasons why saint’s names came about. I’m proud that I was named Andrew because I was born on the feast of St. Andrew Avellino – and then the church dropped his name off the calendar. Then my father gave me my middle name, “Jackson” because when he was brought up in Ireland, he had heard the vocation plug: the seventh president of the United States might have been a Catholic – if there wasn’t such a shortage of priests.  Now that’s a story. Martin Luther was born the same day I was – but he was name Martin – because that’s whose feast day it was the next day when he was baptized.  Now that’s a story as well.

CONCLUSION

How about James or Jamie?

In today’s gospel we find out that James was a servant – but he was also someone who aspired to greatness. No wonder there have been so many people named “James”.

Why not live a live a life of great service for others?


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Painting on top: St. James the Greater, El Greco

FRIENDS 

TWO  PEOPLE'S LIVES 

Poem for Today - July 25, 2014

JAMES

James, we were always friends

from our childhood days.

And we made our plans,

And we had to go our separate ways:

I went on the road,

you pursued an 'education.

James, do you like your life?

Can you find release?

Will you ever change?

Will you ever write your masterpiece?

Are you still in school,

living up to expectations?

James, you were so relied upon;

everybody knows how hard you try.

Hey, look at what a job you've done;

carrying the weight of family pride.

James, you've been well behaved,

you've been working hard,

But will you always stay

someone else's dream of who you are?

Do what's good for you,

or you're not good for anybody, James.

I went on the road,

you pursued an education.

James, how you gonna know for sure;

everything was so well organized.

Hey, now everything is so secure,

and everybody else is satisfied.

James, do you like your life?

Can you find release?

Will you ever change?

When will you write your masterpiece?

Do what's good for you,

or you're not good for anybody, James.

© Billy Joel

THE ROAD FROM THERE 

TO WHO KNOWS WHERE 

Poem for Today - July 24, 2014

THE  NEWBORN

Muhammed spoke to his friends

about a newborn baby, "This child

may cry out in its helplessness,

but it doesn't want to go back

to the darkness of the womb.

And so it is with your soul

when it finally leaves the nest

and flies out into the sky

over the wide plain of a new life.

Your soul would not trade that freedom

for the warmth of where it was.

Let loving lead your soul.

Make it a place to retire to,

a kind of monastery cave, a retreat

for the deepest core of being.

Then build a road

from there to God.

Let every action be in harmony with your soul

and its soul-place, but don't parade

those doings down the street

on the end of a stick!

Keep quiet and secret with soul-work.

Don't worry so much about your body.

God sewed that robe. Leave it as is.

Be more deeply courageous.

Change your soul."

© Fariduddin Attar,

Street Sweeper

Ancient Persian Poet

Page 58, in 

The Hand of Poetry

Translations

Coleman Barks

NAME? 

YOUR NAME PLEASE? 

Poem for Today - July 23, 2014

NAMES

My full name is Rachel Youngeun Rostad. This can be kind of confusing to people. So my birth name was Youngeun. I used to think my birth mom gave it to me. But she didn’t. It was a necessity given to me by the hospital, the foster home, really just a barcode.

Then my parents adopted me and renamed me Rachel, and turned my birth name into my middle name. Rachel Youngeun Rostad.

Most names mean admirable traits like “strong,” “kind,” “beautiful.” When you name your daughter, it’s a prayer for everything you want her to be.

Starting when I was seven, I spent every summer at a Korean culture camp. There, my name was my Korean name, Youngeun. Now, I am trained to answer to both “Rachel” and “Youngeun.” Kind of like knowing how to use both forks and chopsticks.

I’ve never had a nickname.

According to Google, there are two other Rachel Rostad's. One is a fashion designer in LA. Apparently the other is a Goodhue County Dairy Princess. I’m not sure exactly what this means but there’s a picture of her with a gold medal and a cow. Both of these Rachel Rostads have blonde hair.

When you find, say, an injured baby bird in your backyard, and you wanna to nurse it to health, they tell you not to name it. If you name something, it becomes a someone. It makes it harder to give it up.

When my parents renamed me Rachel, it was a prayer for everything they wanted me to be: American.

Sometimes I’m glad my first name is as apple pie and baseball as Rachel. But also kinda not.

How your ancestors had a different name stepping off of Ellis Island than when they stepped on.

The pros and cons of taking your husband’s last name as your own.

The pros and cons of accepting a diagnosis.

Some say written language is only a bad translation of spoken.

You cannot read a speech and see the speaker.

You cannot read sheet music and hear the song.

When the very first word was written down, something must have been lost.

When my parents renamed me “Rachel,” something must have been lost.

Two years ago, I started the search for my birth mom. She still hasn’t answered my letter. The adoption agency tells me she lived in Seoul. This is the closest to knowing her name I will get.

Let’s imagine I knew her name. If I found her Facebook profile, would this count as a reunion?

Let’s imagine she found my name in a newspaper. Would she picture “Rachel Rostad” as a girl with blonde hair?

The name Youngeun is a barcode. The name Rachel is a Made in America sticker slapped onto a Korean flag.

I have never had a nickname.

Either that, or I’ve only ever had nicknames.

Sometimes I wonder what my birth mom would have named me if I hadn’t been a wild animal she’d would eventually have to release.

She still hasn’t answered my letter. I’m not waiting for a reply. When you name your daughter, it’s a prayer for everything you want her to be. It makes sense, then, that she named me nothing.

© Rachel Youngeun Rostad