PICK  A  WORD 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 17 Sunday in Ordinary Time, (A) is, “Pick A Word.”

I was visiting someone in Anne Arundel Medical Center the other day. As I was going out – I spotted - between the front desk and the staircase to the garage - various words on a wall like: “Honesty, Integrity, Hope, etc.”

When I got back here to St. Mary’s I went over to our high school – to drop into a luncheon for one of the staff who was moving to Florida. On the wall there was a list of words as well, “Honesty, Hard Work, Intelligence, Faith, Hope, Charity, Peace.”

I said to myself, “The staircase over in the Elementary School has a list of words on the steps as well.”

Then I thought, “I’m willing to bet every school in the world – well not every school  – but many schools have their list of words – reminders to work to be the best.”

IBM used to have just one word, “Think!”

And remember the Love sculptures. Here's one in New York City:

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OKAY TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s first reading - 1 Kings 3:5, 7-12 -  has the famous story and the famous moment in the life of Solomon – the wisest king in all the world. The story is told in classic form.  At night in a dream the Lord appears to Solomon – and says, “Ask something of me and I will give it to you.”

It’s the old, “You have one wish!” story.

I’m sure preachers all over the world this weekend will be giving the same sermon idea of understanding that I’m preaching on this weekend.

You have one wish, one dream, one hope, one desire, one fire, what is it? Make a wish. 

Solomon asked for the gift of understanding. 

What would you ask for? Put it in one word – if possible. Ooops, “Winning the lottery” is three words.

Next time I go to Anne Arundel Medical Center I’m going to look to see if that word "understanding" is there – so too our schools – so too the many places I’ve seen this idea of listing words, listing values, listing hopes, listing desires, listing dreams.

The title of my homily is, “Pick a Word.”

Would you pick the word, “Understanding.” Would that be your deepest dream – your highest hope?

BAPTISM

I have a joke I use at every baby baptism and it gets a laugh every time – because I believe it contains a great truth.

Every baptism of a baby begins this way:

“What name do you give your child?”

“What do you ask of God’s Church for _____ Name?”

Then the priest or deacon doing the baptism says, “You have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so you are accepting the responsibility of training him or her in the practice of our faith. It will be your duty to bring her or him up to keep God’s commandments as Christ has taught us, by loving God and our neighbor.”  Then the question: “Do you clearly understand what your are undertaking?”

And the answer in the book is, “We do.”

And I always love to say, “Wanna bet?” And I bet I get a laugh and a smile every time from my off the cuff comment.

I say all that – because we don’t understand. There’s not only the terrible two’s ahead, but the teenage years – as well as the rest of our life ahead of us.

UNDERSTANDING? A GIFT OR A VIRTUE TO BE WORKED FOR?

Is understanding a total gift – or is something we can work to acquire?

Or is it both?

It certainly is a gift to be prayed for.

It is a characteristic to be desired – hopefully.

It is a characteristic that can be worked on.

Stephen Covey’s Habit 5  of his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is: “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.”

To understand is to listen,  to get inside another’s shoes and skin and mind if possible, to accept that another can see what I’m not seeing or my take on something - and especially to ask questions – like the big one: “If I hear you correctly, your understanding here is this: ____________________.”

AT OUR FUNERAL – DEAD OR ALIVE?

I was at a wake last Monday afternoon. Not knowing the lady who died, I asked those gathered there – family and friends, “Can you put into words – one word would be wonderful – what Louise was like? I didn’t know her and I want to say a few words at her funeral Mass tomorrow – and I don’t do canned.”

Out came wonderful words, “Giving, loving, caring, funny, energetic, patient, dedicated, understanding, hard worker, mom, friend, sister, grandma…..”

Question: How do we want people to describe us when we die?

Question: How do we want people to describe us when we are alive?

Question: How do we not want to be described right now – better how do we want to be right now?

The title of my homily is, “Pick a Word.”

Would we pick the word “Understanding” in answer to a hoped for self-description?

I’m sure we don’t want someone to say, “My boss, he just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand.” “My dad – no way – no clue – he doesn’t understand.” “That priest – no - he just doesn’t understand.”

When people on the phone from some other state and situation tell me that they want to talk to a priest – but whom? – I tell them go to your local church – go to Mass – and watch, look and listen and ask yourself, “Would this guy understand?”

So too teachers, therapists, counselors, doctors, friends? Ask around: “Who listens?”  “Who understands?”

JESUS – THE WORD MADE FLESH THAT GOD UNDERSTANDS

Many people – that I have tried to listen to have said – or I think this is what they are saying, “I don’t think God understands.”

I also think they have a different take on God than the one I have. Don’t we all?

As priest it kills me – when people have a guerrilla God – or an angry God – or I’m going to get you God – and that God is found not just in Islam and other religions – it’s found in our religion – because our scriptures present people and their take on God.  

My creed is this: I believe Jesus is God’s word saying, “I understand.”

Jesus walked around – stood around – listened – learned – grew in wisdom age and grace – and then entered not only into the lives of the people who reached out to him in the Gospel stories – but to those he reached out to – and his words, his parables, his wisdom sayings still reach out to till today.

Forgive 7 times 70 times – drop the rocks – stop judging – turn the other cheek – go the extra mile – if you’re a lost sheep, make your prayer a loud, Baa! Baa! Baa! The Good Shepherd will find you. If you’re feeling like a prodigal son, come home. The father is waiting. If you’re the older brother, come on, reach out to those who messed up and want father and family again.

Today’s gospel has three parables – the field, the pearl, the net.

Don’t we all wonder at times if we’re in the right field, the right marriage, the right relationships, the right job, the right neighborhood, the right place?

Don’t we all search for the pearl of great price – not knowing what it is we really want?

Don’t we all sit down at times and look at our net worth – what we have netted so far – and we sort out the good from the bad?

Speaking of pearls, what do you think of Pearl Bailey’s comment on all this in her book, The Raw Pearl [1968],  when she said, “There’s a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside.”

Please God, when we sort out our lives – from time to time – like on vacation – like in the doctor’s office, we don’t become sour  inside – that we don’t become bitter – but that we become ever so understanding of each other.

I often quote and remember and use Nathaniel Hawthorne’s’ story about the two women in a New England town. One walked around with her nose in the air – looking down on half the town and the other finally said, “Deary, why don’t you commit a really good sin and then you’ll understand the rest of us?”

THE CHURCH

As you might have noticed we have a new pope – and different popes have different personalities – and different takes – on what it takes to be a follower of Christ. Please take that in an understanding way. As you also know we have another synod coming up – in Rome – and they want to look at finances, abuse – and especially the family.

And there was a questionnaire send out on some hot button issues – and people’s take on various questions: marriage, divorce, communion, family size, etc. In general I’ve heard that the idea was good – but the questionnaire needed a lot of work. I’m assuming it’s an attempt by this pope and our church in listening and understanding.

 Speaking about the church, Charles Curran, a priest who has had struggles with those in authority in our church talked about what he learned from  an essay, “Ethics, Ecclesiology, and the Grace of Self Doubt.” It was written by Margaret Farley. She’s one of the nuns who has had a tough time with those in authority in the Catholic Church as well. Charles Curran wrote, “The grasp for certitude too easily shuts the mind and sometimes closes the heart. The grace of self-doubt allows for epistemic humility, the basic condition for communal and individual moral discernment.”

When I read that, I went “Woo!”

It triggered memories of meeting all kinds of people who want our church to be dogmatic – clear – exact – tough – strong – and that’s why I’m in it. I need that rock – no doubt about it.

To me their death sentence often is: “I can’t stand!” They say lots of, "I can't stand it when they ...."  "I can't stand it when they ...."  "I can't stand it when they...."

To me their life sentence would better be: “I’m trying to understand.”

That comment about “the grace of self-doubt” also trigged a dozen conversations with folks have left the Catholic Church  - because they felt there was no room for them in it – with their understandings about women in the church – or this and that – or people who are regular thinking people – who like me have doubts – about all kinds of things – especially myself.

Doubts – different understandings – questions – what if’s – I see them as normal. It’s life. It’s what anyone over 55 does more and more as they get older.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Pick A Word.”

If that word is “understanding” do some standing under it this coming week and see what self understandings hit you.

I’ll close with a tiny story – a story I have doubts about telling from the pulpit – but it was a story that has helped my morale down through the years.

Once upon a time – long before I came here to Annapolis -  I was giving a  priest retreat in a diocese  in the United States. Near the end I told the bishop that I’d give his regards to the bishop of the diocese I was stationed in – if I run into him. Well,  I ran into that bishop two weeks later and I gave him the regards of the bishop of the diocese where I had just given the priest retreat in.  The bishop said thanks, then said of that bishop “He’s a nice guy but I always wished he’d have a doubt every once and a while.”

Woops I thought. Then afterwards I said to myself, “Thank you. We’re all human and we’re all in this all together after all. I get it. I understand.”

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* This Love Sculpture is at 1359, Avenue of America - New York City. It's between 55th and 56th Streets and 6th Avenue. It's based on a Christmas card designed in 1964  by Robert Indiana - for the nearby Museum of Modern Art. Check out on Google Love Sculpture and you'll see where they can be seen around the world.