SELF-CONTROL

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 9^th Monday in Ordinary Time is, “Self-Control”.

That word, “self-control” appears two times here in 2 Peter 1:6  - part of today’s first reading. It’s the English translation for the Greek word “egkrateia”.  The root word is “kratos” strength - power - control.

MAJOR LIFE ISSUE

Control is a major life issue.

What are your thoughts about the issue of control. I think it’s worth thinking and talking about it from time to time.

Control: who has the wheel? Who is doing the driving?  The other person might be doing the driving, but sometimes the other is a back seat or other seat driver?  If you’re not the driver, do you find yourself trying to control the driving. Do you tend to say, “Slow down! You’re driving too fast.”  When we have these automatic cars - how will those who need to be in control deal with that?

So control, being in control,  power and who has the power around here, are main life issues.

SOCRATES

When reading up on this, I read someone saying that three disciples or followers  of Socrates, Plato, Xenophon and Isocrates - developed and moved the idea of egkrateia - from control to self-control. They moved the meaning of egkrateia from power over things - and others  - to self-discipline - self-control - in dealing with oneself.

So self-control is also a major life issue.

It takes in control of our own passions - emotions - drives - feelings - and instincts

It’s worth thinking and talking about it from time to time. How about today for 3 minutes in this homily?

THE ENCRATITES

In the second and especially the 3^rd century there were people who were labeled and called, “The Encratites.”

They were called heretics by the church - as well as by various church writers and teachers.

The issue of controlling one’s passions is often a life issue.

Another group that got into control issues were the Manichaes.

Augustine was a Manichaean  for a while.  

They and the Encratites were very strict when it came to sex - publically.

Privately could be another story.

Encratites went against marriage - and alcohol - etc.

They went out of existence.

I love to quote Groucho Marx’s words, “If your parents didn’t have any kids, chances are you won’t either.”

It could be stated, “If your parents didn’t have sex, chances are you are not here today.”

I remember visiting the Cloister in Ephrata PA. They practiced celibacy. Surprise they went out of existence.

Religious orders in the Catholic Church practice celibacy.  Our story is that we have to get members from the married folks amongst us. It prevents inbreeding: priests and nuns having children who become priests and nuns and on and on and on.

STRICT SELF CONTROL

We have all met or sensed people in our church who were off on self-control.

It shows up in clothing at times - for example in the issue of modesty.

We see this in Islam right now - with women having to cover themselves almost completely.

I remember going to the Vatican twice and women had to cover arms and men couldn’t wear shorts - but had to buy paper pants for the moment.

I’m not going to get into this - because it can be a button pusher  - yet it’s part of the issue of self-control - the issue I noticed  there in today’s first reading.

CONCLUSION

I like the idea of moving the issue of self-control to self - as opposed to being on the lookout for modesty and purity police.

So I think history teaches us that the finger pointing better go towards self - as in self-control - compared to controlling others.

I also have experienced that sometimes the strictest persons in our church and our world might be fighting themselves - but they think they are fighting others. I am not surprised when the ultra-sexuality police are sometimes caught messing around on the side.

The image that has always hit me is that of those Styrofoam pool things. The further you push them down into the water in the pool, the more powerful is their shooting up out of the water. The more people deny they are emotional, sexual, feeling, eating people, the more we might mess ourselves up.

Let me end there. I think that’s enough already.

June 4, 2018

CROSSES ON WALLS

I spot them in movies and hospitals,

nursing homes and classrooms.

Okay, I’m Catholic - so you can say,

“I’d expect there would be crosses.”

If I have time - I like to listen to what

Jesus is hearing hanging there on a cross.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.”

“Father forgive them for not visiting me.”

Or, “What you too? Been there. Done that,

Felt that.  Known that. Okay, only for 3 hours.”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018

June 4, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“New York City, 1925: The treasurer of a Jewish hospital fund with $15,000 in his pocket was stopped by two robbers.  When told the money was for a hospital, the robbers not only let the man go on his way, they threw in a ten-dollar bill of their own.”  

Pitirim Sorokin

WHAT DOES THE  MASS 

MEAN TO YOU?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “What Does The Mass Mean To You?”

Today is the Feast of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ - so I thought it might be a good moment to ask all of us to sum up what the Mass means to us. What are we doing here today? Why are we here? 

How have we changed in our understanding, how have we developed our thoughts about the Mass, down through the years?

What have been our key Mass understandings - our key experiences  about the Mass and the Masses we have been to?

This would be better to do in small groups.  I suggest you do it at home, at meals, in the car - together. What does the Mass mean to you?

It’s a good question.

BOOK

I have a whole book on the Mass. I finished writing it about 10 years ago. It is 317 pages long - 14 pica. It has 113 short chapters 2, 3, sometimes 4 pages long. It has 79,404 words.

Now that would be a long homily.

I sent it to 3 or 4 publishers. Each rejected it. One of these days I’ll get at it again - revamp it - up date it - change it - and discover what I have learned more or different about the Mass since I finished that book 10 years ago.

Looking for time…. Looking for energy.  

I met a guy at a funeral lately who writes pulp novels.  He said if you sell 500 - paperback books - that’s not bad.

I didn’t tell him, but I disagreed with him - knowing editors want to sell a lot more than 500 copies of a book. All the books I wrote are all out of print, but each sold at least 1000 copies - one 60,000.

So one of these days I’m going to get back to that - but real live work with people is more important and more in demand.

The title of this homily, “What Does the Mass Mean to You?” triggered this renewed interest in getting this book published by some company. I don’t do self-publishing.

So once more, what does the Mass mean to you?

Let me see if I can come up with 3 answers for my latest homework.

FIRST: DO THIS IN MEMORY OF ME

Why are we here right now? What’s the meaning of all this?

First answer: we’re doing this in memory of Jesus.

At the Last Supper - which was a Passover Meal - Jesus took bread.  Jesus took wine. Jesus said, “This is my body. This is my blood. I’m giving my body, I’m giving my blood for you and to you.  Do this in memory of me.”

I asked myself: Is there anything I’m doing in memory of someone else?

My mother used to make and bake delicious Irish Soda Bread - which we kids would deliver to various relatives and friends in our neighborhood growing up in Brooklyn. My sister Peggy somewhere along the line in her last assignment as a nun in Scranton, Pennsylvania, used to make two dozen or so loaves of Irish Soda Bread around Christmas time and St. Patrick’s time and bring them to old nuns - in memory of what my mom did.

I was trying to remember what I do in memory of others.  I like to send e-mails or a card on the anniversary of the death of loved ones. Like June is the anniversary of my dad - June 26, 1970 - and my nephew Michael - June 14^th, 1977.

So that’s another way of asking what does the Mass mean to us. What do we do in memory of others - besides coming to Mass in memory of Jesus - to keep his memory alive on the planet.

SECOND: FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD

It’s not by accident that Jesus chose a meal to give us his final thoughts.  It was his last supper. He was passing over to life beyond this life.

Resurrection from the dead is essential to the Mass.

Food is essential to life.

Without food we die.

When we gather, we eat.

Can I get you something?

Eating with each other is essential to being with each other.

Eating is essential to being in communion with another.

It’s hard to eat with someone we can’t stomach.

What’s it like to be in a very small town and the church is very, very small? What happens on Sunday morning when one family - especially relatives or neighbors - can’t stand, can’t understand, can’t stomach each other?

It’s the same as what happens at some weddings.  The ones who do the seating better know who isn’t getting along with whom.

Kids who stop eating with the family - stop going to Mass with the family.

So food is all about communion.

It’s ugly when we excommunicate each other.

THIRD AND LAST: TALKING WITH EACH OTHER

Talking with each other is essential to eating with each other.

Breakfast, lunch, supper, coffee breaks…. What’s going on? What plans do you have for today? How was your day?

The Mass is loaded with words.

Words become flesh.

The Mass has sacred readings and sacred words.

This is my body…. This is my blood …. These are my words. I’m giving me to you. I’m digesting what you are saying.

When was the last time we sat at table with another for an hour or two after the meal?

Last night I sat with Father William from 6 till 7:20.  We could have been finished at 6:15.

We’re all running?

We have our schedules?

On our high school retreats we break into small groups.  I ask kids what’s it like in your home at meal time? Some families eat together.  Some families don’t.

On our high school retreats, I’ve noticed that they have collected phones for the retreat - and give them back - on the way back. Phones are great for connecting and telling family we’re on our way home.

I have heard enough folks like me say, “Please be with the people you’re with - not with someone on a phone miles away - right in the middle of a meal - with others.”

I also know we can be with others - look them in the face - have a phone in one’s pocket - but be 1000 miles away in our mind - and inner conversation. I do that all the time.  People confess distractions in prayer - but never confess distractions and disappearing from others whom we’re talking with.

I have to preach a lot - and I have to listen a lot.  I know it’s hard to catch others attention and to catch my attention.

Did you know chapters 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17 of John are words from the Last Supper - but they don’t bring in the words of consecration.  Those words are in Matthew, Mark, Luke and Paul.

Meals are all about the food and the people around the table - their body and blood  - but a meal is all about the words at the table,

Ears and mouth - chewing and digesting each other - listening and talking - basic, very basic, going to communion with each other.

CONCLUSION

So my question for this rainy day: What does the Mass mean to you?

June 3, 2018

LAZARUS AT OUR DOOR

Sitting there 

leaning  against a door,
starving, begging for 
a dollar or just 3 quarters 

and you walked by. 

Sitting there 

leaning against a door 

begging for some recognition 

or just a simple, “Hi!” 

"Hell" you just walked by.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018

Cf. Luke 16: 19-31

Cf. Noticing Lazarus at Our Door,

by John Lavin, C.Ss.R,

Reflections of a Priest with

Forty Years of Hispanic Ministry

June 3, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“Check your  ego at the door.”  

Quincy Jones

June 2, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“Albert Einstein was  asked  one day by a friend,  ‘Do you  believe  that absolutely everything can be expressed scientifically?’ ‘Yes, it would be possible,’ he replied, ‘but it would make no sense. It would be describing without meaning - as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation in wave pressure.’” 

  Ronald W. Clark, 

Einstein: The Life and Times

June 2, 2018

TALK  TO  ME 

A son wouldn’t talk

to his father,

no matter what.

I said to him,

“Talk to your father,

no matter what.”

Ten years later

I met the two of them and

the son said to me, “Thank you.”

But I had forgotten 

what that matter

was all about. Did they?

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018

Vigeland Park, Oslo Norway
Got there in 2009

June 1st, 2018

JUST  ONE  TRICK

Before we die, hopefully,

we all can do one trick.

Like juggle 3 tangerines

or "walk the dog" with a yo yo

or make great paper airplanes.

Before we die, hopefully

we all know and practice the essentials:

Like: “I love you.” “Do you need help?”

“Can I get you a glass of water.”

“I forgive you.” “Please forgive me.”

  

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018

June 1, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“… clocks ticking … and  Mama’s  sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths … and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you’re too wonderful for anybody to realize you.” 

Thornton Wilder,  Our Town

May 31, 2018

VISITATION

Stopped in to see my sister.... 

Much, much, much different 

than those unconscious moments 

of childhood with her at the beach 

and subway and trolley and park and

walking to school together back then.

Old age has its aching bones 

but the conversations about 

when we were young makes 

the unconscious conscious - 

makes the invisible visible, helps

me to see what I didn't see back then. 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018  

May 31, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“The Roman pontiff can   and ought to reconcile himself, and come to terms with progress, liberalism, and modern civilization.”  

Pope Pius IX (1792-1878)

May 30, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“Religious awe is the  same  organic thrill we feel in a forest at twilight, or in a mountain gorge.” 

William James

May 30, 2018

THE SCENT

The scent said, “Enough of this

only being on the back of her neck.

I want to explore so much more.”

So she slid off her owner's skin and

rode a dozen elevators, subways

and put 100 men into a pause!

“Now,” she said, “this is my destiny.”

She laughed because that was her very

own name on her very own bottle: “Destiny!”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018  

BE HOLY BECAUSE

 I AM HOLY

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Be Holy Because I Am Holy.”

That’s the last line in today’s first reading from 1^st Peter 1:16. Peter says,  

“for it is written, ‘Be holy because I am Holy.’”

Where is that written?

It refers to the sacred writings in Leviticus 19:2 - in fact that whole section of Leviticus which starts with Chapter 17 talks about holiness.

ROOT MEANING - OF THE HEBREW WORD FOR HOLINESS

In his Dictionary of the Bible - John McKenzie SJ - says, “In the opinion  of most scholars the Hebrew root KDS has the basic meaning of separate.”

Separate: as in the difference between holy and unholy….

Separate: as in the difference between sacred and secular.

That makes lots of sense to me.

There is a difference between a coffee cup and a chalice. If someone walks into the sacristy with a Dunkin Donuts coffee cup in hand, they might rest it or leave it on a counter - and then toss it in the garbage when they are finished. A gold chalice gets washed carefully and goes  in the safe.

Saints - holy people - are often portrayed as separate - different - very safe to follow.

We who are God seekers.  We are all safe seekers.  

Why are we here - in this church this morning - but to be with God? - we feel separated from God. We want to be with God, the Holy One. So we walk in here - into this holy place - called church - to be washed, to feel cleansed by God.

When we sin or make mistakes we feel unclean - even more separated from God.

The little kid who steals the candy - or breaks a dish - or spills the water - says, “Uh oh!” - lowers his or her head, and can’t look into the eyes of her or parent. They feel  separation.

The arrested person puts a jacket or a newspaper in their face when they are being marched into a court house.

Shame - shame on you. You’re not being like God. You’re separate in comparison to the bigger person - God - a parent - an authority figure.

The whole  Bible has the message - to bridge the separateness from God - to become holy - while at the same time talking about sin and uncleanness.

Priesthood means bridge. Christ is the Pontifex - the Bridge.  Christ is the Holy One - the One from God - who came to us - to bring us to God - and remove all barriers - separators - walls.  Christ is the Holy One.  Christ is the one who bridges the separation between us and God the Father.

If you get that basic idea of holiness - I’m happy with this sermon.

Holy means separate.

God and me - no comparison.

God and me - no connection.

God and me - so different - so separate.

CONNECTING

Yet down deep -  we want to connect - be with God - perhaps starting - out of fear - but moving towards love and communion - holy communion.

Pope Francis - just recently came out with a whole document on Holiness.

It’s wonderful stuff.  You can get it and read it on line for free.

It’s basic. It’s simple. That’s Francis’ style.

The Second Vatican Council came up with Chapter 5 in its major document on the Church - that the whole church is called to holiness.

Merton, Von Balthasar, Both Teresa’s, most spiritual writers tell us we’re all called to be holy.

Their major message is communion - prayer - becoming holy like God - and then going out - crossing the bridge from holiness into sin and selfishness.

Christ calls us to work hard to make this world we’re in  - a better place - a better space. That’s why we have holy places like churches - sanctuaries - where we can become like God - Holy.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily was, “Be Holy Because I Am Holy.”

 I was going elsewhere, but when I thought about the idea of separate, I said to myself, “Let’s explore that.”

I ask you to do likewise.

May 29, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“It is a test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.” 

G. K. Chesterton

May 29, 2018

IMAGINE

Imagine if gnats and mosquitoes 

could think and talk and know 

which person to bug and pest - 

and who had the best blood 

in the neighborhood.

I guess if I knew they could do that, 

life would be that much harder. 

I wouldn’t be able to whack 

them dead or squash them with 

a Kleenex against a window. 

Yet again - maybe I wouldn’t. 

I totally ignore some people. 

Worse: I sting people and I bug 

people and I don’t ask what they 

think or ask what they are about. 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018  

MEMORIES

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Memories.”

It’s Memorial Day - and  it’s Memorial Day weekend, so why not a few thoughts about memories?

DADDY STORY

I used this story before, because it’s one of my favorite stories. It’s also one of my favorite memories, It happened to me when I was a little kid.

I’m in the front room of our house in Brooklyn. We called it the Sun Porch - but it was indoors. My dad is sitting there in the corner - on a dark green -vinyl easy chair - reading the paper. I’m standing about 10 feet away looking at my dad’s collection of books - one of which is Best Loved Poems in the English Language.

I’m paging through it. Surprise I spot a dark red rose petal. It’s dry. It’s dead. I must of sensed it was very fragile - so I barely touched it.

I turn and head for my father - holding the book like one of the gifts at the  offertory procession at Mass. Showing him the open book with the dark red rose flower petal, I ask my dad, “Daddy what’s this?”

He asks, “What’s what?”

I said, “This rose petal.”

He looks at it and smiles his great smile, which different people told me that I got it as well.

He says one word, “Memories.”

That’s a very important moment and story for me. It’s life.  It gave me an important life lesson.

Every one of us has our red rose petals: a marine pin in a lapel on a suit jacket, a death card of a mom or dad or child, a baseball in  a box in a bottom drawer, an athletic trophy from our high school days, a two dollar bill signed by Bobby Kennedy, a wedding photo on a dresser top, a brick from our first house ….

Memorials …. Mementos …. Memories….

If it rains today - and you’re looking for something to do - get a pen and paper and find 25 rose petals among your possessions. Translation: find at least 25 mementos from your life.

TYPES OF MEMORY

There is a long term and short term memory.

There is also working memory - which is a combination of long and short term memory.

There is number memory - word memory - visual memory - emotional memory.

Animals have memories as well - long term and short term.

After humans, dolphins might have the best of memories - along with elephants and ravens. Yes ravens.  But I haven’t read enough of the research in all this.

And research is ongoing  - with lab rats, monkeys, humans.

PEAKS AND VALLEYS - INCLUDING DEATH VALLEY

When is our memory at its best?

Everyone over 67 talks about forgetting things - not remembering things.

We all know the experience of older folks repeating themselves - telling their war stories - as well as - losing it.

I was in a play in the second year of high school and I had the lead and had to memorize about 440 lines in 6 weeks. Did it.

Could not do that today.

I gave some high school retreats with a priest who could memorize the name of 100 kids in about 5 hours.  And he gave me his secret ….

My sister  told me that she had a photographic memory. In high school, she could see the page the information was on - in the book - that was inside her head - and she could it put it right down on test papers with ease.

My Aunt Kathleen remembered what people wore at every family gathering there ever was and she would let people know it  - which really endeared her to others - especially other women.

DEATH

We want to remember our dead.

On memorial day weekend we remember especially those who served our country and our world in the different branches of military service  - and who have died.

We pause and remember moments at funerals for veterans and burials in Veteran’s Cemeteries like Crownsville and Arlington.

At funerals when I’m stuck - and really don’t know the person who died I like to say I once  saw on TV - in a documentary on our evolution as human beings - that it was a big day when primitive peoples - didn’t just toss a dead body off a trail - and continue on hunter gathering treks thru the forests and mountain trails. No! At some point a group buried a loved one - said some prayers and words or incantations - and left a marker - to remember that spot when they happened down that trail again.

Someone said the 2 major issues of life are death and family.

And we think of death moments of family members - especially.

We bury our dead - their bodies, their remains, in sacred places called cemeteries. Tombs have markers, crosses, gravestones. At the end of a funeral sometimes people take home a flower and put a petal in a book and sometimes a little kid will accidently spot that petal and ask, “What’s this?

Memories.

CONCLUSION

We church goers believe that here is where our religion comes in.

We believe there is life after death.

We believe that Christ’s life tells us about life: loving one another, burying our complaints, and connecting with one another.

We believe that Holy Communion is with Christ - in all his members - as well.

We believe it’s important to say, “Thank you to those who were willing to lay down their lives for their friends.”

May 28, 2018

MEMORIAL  DAY

It was raining

that day

in the Veterans Cemetery ….

Rain rested silently

on top of the marble stones ....

It was row after row after row 

after row of names and numbers ....

It was worn out forgotten flowers ….

Then we got to our brother.

We stood there -

each remembering - in our own way -

the moments and memories

we had when he was with us.

Tears were bouncing off and

pinging our umbrellas.

Tears of rain began resting

silently and salty on our faces.

Iraq - another  war that was wrong  -

wrong - for US and for the Iraqis

Who says it doesn’t rain in the desert?

Who says mistakes are never made?

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018  

May 28, 2018 

Thought for today: 

“Life is the art  of  being well deceived.” 

William Hazlitt  [1778-1830]
Painting by Mia Bergeron