STUCK

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Stuck!”

We’re celebrating at this time in the Church Year the feast of the Ascension. In some dioceses they have this feast on Ascension Thursday - and other dioceses like our Baltimore Archdiocese - we have this feast today.

I surmise that some people surmise that if we keep it on Thursday, then a lot of people will miss out on the feast - so let’s celebrate on the Sunday after Ascension Thursday.

As far as I know there has never been a move to put Christmas on a Sunday - like the Sunday after December 25^th.

So here we are: let’s not miss out on this feast of the Ascension.

SCENE FROM THE FIRST READING

In today’s first reading from the opening of the Acts of the Apostles [1:1-11], Jesus is lifted up and ascends into the heavens. Everyone is standing there dumb - looking upwards. Two men dressed in white garments say, “Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky? This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven.”

When I read that I heard the human shout in times of trouble: “Don’t just stand there. Do something.”

When I read that I also thought of the human feeling: “I’m stuck!”

So I began thinking about the human experience  of being stuck.

When was the last time you were stuck?

So the title of this homily is, “Stuck!”

LOOKING AT OUR LIFE

Looking at our life, we’ve all experienced being stuck.

Someone’s in the bathroom…. hurry up.

Stuck in traffic.

Stuck in the past.

Stuck in a horrible work situation.

Stuck in a marriage that is falling apart.  A spouse is drinking - or on drugs.

Stuck in a hurt.

Stuck in a mistake.

Stuck in a resentment.

Stuck in a regret.

Stuck in a sickness.

Stuck with a noisy neighbor - who likes to do his lawn at 6:30 every Saturday morning.

We get stuck in our thinking, in our ways, in a depression, in a darkness.

We get stuck in a 5 year period in our lives.  We’re still back there when we were 17 or 27 or 37 - and here we are in real time but ….

We’re stuck with our kid whose marriage fell apart and they need us - for a place and a place for their three kids - and we thought we finally reached retirement, a nice clean empty nest, and the price of cruises have come down.

Stuck. Now what?

Layne Stayly, a musician, said, “When everyone goes home, you’re stuck with yourself.”

We’re with ourselves and this is all we got  - and we’re not enough.

Stuck is a real reality to ponder from time to time - maybe now, today. It’s a rainy day. It’s Ascension Thursday on a Sunday. It’s Mother’s Day. We’re in church.

I spotted the following excerpt from a novel by Catherine Lacey, Nobody is Ever Missing.  It’s written in befuddled language. It’s written in images and words that can give us a feeling of what’s going on with someone. Let me see if I can read it and give Catherine Lacey her due.

“I realized that even if no one ever found me, and even if I lived out the rest of my life here, always missing, forever a missing person to other people, I could never be missing to myself, I could never delete my own history, and I would always know exactly where I was and where I had been and I would never wake up not being who I was and it didn't matter how much or how little I thought I understood the mess of myself, because I would never, no matter what I did, be missing to myself and that was what I had wanted all this time, to go fully missing, but I would never be able to go fully missing—nobody is missing like that, no one has ever had that luxury and no one ever will.” 

Not being married, I wondered what would that be like if I was married to someone who felt like that way - someone who wanted to be missing.

Not being married, I would hope married folks who feel stuck that way, would get counseling or would get talking and listening.

It’s Springtime…. Couples: it’s Spring!  What does your clock look like after supper or Sunday afternoons?  I am a strong stressor of couples at least once a week taking a walk with each other.  I know a couple. The wife got big time cancer and she is recovery mode, thank God. They are in their 50’s and they find themselves walking each evening - well not every evening - but many evenings - and it’s been the best move they have made in their marriage so far. 

Death - the fear of death - cancer - can get folks moving.

Once more the words from today’s first reading, “Why are you standing there looking at the sky.”

Get moving.

Ascend.

Climb out of your pits.

In 5 years, that’s May 12, 2023, if you call me here at St. Mary’s or in our nursing home or you’re standing at my grave and you and your spouse have been walking these 5 years and it has done wonders for your life, your relationship, your perspective, I would love to hear a “Thank you.”

And I thank the couple who told me they have  been doing a lot of walking these past two years.

I have.

We're blessed to have the Naval Academy and Quiet Water's Park.

Where are your walking places?

IT’S MOTHER’S DAY

Today is also Mother’s Day.

We celebrate with gratitude - not just our birth - not just the gift of life - but for all the times our mother was there when we were afraid, when we were stuck, and we sucked our thumb - the most basic sign language message, “I want my mommy.”

Just watch the optics of a baby - of every little kid - when they find themselves in a scary, sticky, stucky place. They look for their mom.

Dad’s relax. We’ll give you a plug, next month.

MARY THE MOTHER OF GOD - AND MOTHER OF OUR CHURCH

As priest, as Catholic, I’ve often wondered about the Catholic practice of honoring and praying to Mary the Mother of Jesus. 

Sometimes Protestants ask us about our "thing" about Mary. Answer: one answer is right here at the experience of being stuck. Watch kids when stuck, when scared, when afraid. and see how they want their mother.

As a Redemptorist, I’ve wondering about the picture or ikon of Mary, Mother of Perpetual Help. Why is it so popular? Answer: it’s that last word, “Help!”

Help is the one word prayer and answer for anyone who is stuck.

In the English classic book on spirituality, The Cloud of Unknowing, the author says, “When a person is in a burning building, they don’t have to taught the most basic human prayer and scream, “Help!”

Mom. Thanks for all the times you’ve been there to help.

CONCLUSION

I think of the refrain in the Beatles song about all this. They have captured the scene of Mary under the cross at Calvary as they sing,

When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom

"Let it be."

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me 

Speaking words of wisdom

"Let it be".

I prefer the Serenity Prayer. Sometimes we have to learn to let it be, that is, to accept the things we cannot change. However, there are times when we are stuck, but we can work to change the things we can change.

In other words: don’t just stand there. Get moving and do something that you can do.