CHERISH  NO  GRUDGE

INTRODUCTION

The title of homily for this  7^th Sunday in Ordinary Time is, “Cherish No Grudge.”

CNG: “Cherish No Grudge.”

That mini-commandment can be found in today’s first reading from the Book of Leviticus - Chapter 19: verse 18. “Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against any of your people. You shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”

Evidently, the author or authors of Leviticus saw what grudges sound and look like and what they did to people - and posted grudges are dangerous.

So too Jesus, in today’s gospel. He is telling his disciples how to deal with anger, revenge, grudges. Stop poking and punching and slapping other people in the eye or face or cheek. Go the extra mile with others - friends, enemies, borrowers, and people who love to sue. [Cf. Matthew 5:38-48.]

So that will be the stuff of this sermon. I divided it up into 3 rough parts:

What is a grudge?  How much do they weigh? How to get rid of them?

FIRST - WHAT IS A GRUDGE?

They are the lingering thoughts and feelings from hurts - or setbacks - or attacks - or the bad stuff that happens to both good and bad people.

Grudges….

Grr sounds are not good sounds - coming out of the mouth of grizzly bears or angry people. Grudge, grumble, gripe, grr.

Grudges - we put them in our back packs - on our backs - or in the back of our mind - and they show up on our face - grimaces instead of smiles - especially when so and so or such and such shows up. 

SECOND - HOW MUCH DO THEY WEIGH?

I was thinking last night as I was writing this homily that a good question about a specific grudges could be: how much does it weigh?

Get a clean piece of paper - or line up a clean page on your computer screen. On the center top - in big print - all capital letters - put the word, “Grudges.” Then on the top left hand corner put 100 pounds - then below that about 7 spaces down - 75 pounds - then below that 50 pounds - then below that 25 pounds - then near the bottom - put 5 pounds.

Next looking at our life - at our grudge history - put down at least one 100 pound grudge - a time when we were really hurt or angry - or devastated - and we were talking - screaming - crying inwardly - for a while afterwards.

We had a grudge….

It could have been a divorce. We were cheated on. Or our parents broke up. Or we caused a problem and we have a grudge against ourself for being so dumb or selfish. It could have been a death. Our child died suddenly or drowned and we have at least a 100 pound grudge with God.

Looking at our life, name a few 100 pound grudges. If we have a good marriage, do this together - but in the morning. Growling grudges can affect our sleep.

Then a 75 pounder. We were fired - dropped without warning - or the company moved to Malaysia or Manassas or whatever.

Then a 50 pounder. Then a 25 pounder. Then a 5 pounder.

It could be a comment. It could be dumb night of drinking - when a lot of bad stuff came down.

I think by making a list and then weighing grudges - we can get a beginning look at recovery or letting go.

THIRD QUESTION: HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM?

How to books are the books that people buy.

Would you buy a book entitled, How to Dumb Grudges In the Dumpster?

As indicated, the first step is to name them.

As indicated, the second step is to weigh them.

The third step is to get rid of them.

That’s the tricky part.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Sometimes that happens easier because we have forgiven ourselves, our God or another.

Forgetting is dementia.

Today’s first reading and today’s gospel, tells us to love our enemies - because that saves eyes and energy - ourselves.

Reflecting on the smartness of not cherishing grudges - or holding onto them too tightly - is a good practice.

We see little kids walking around cherishing their teddy bears.

Lots of adults are walking around cherishing pet alligators of different sizes and shapes.

Mention someone’s name or some family situation and that alligator in their arms - jumps out of their mouth and into the conversation.

Go down to the swamp and let those alligators go.

Buddhists call them hot coals. As the Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

So I’m saying here, “Throw them along with your alligators into the river or the swamp.”

Question: can the human mind let go.

Answer: sometimes yes and sometimes no.

I found something a Jesuit priest, Father James Gill, a psychiatrist, doctor, and priest, said a good 20 years ago to be very helpful.  He was giving us a workshop on stress. He quoted the work of a doctor in California who tells people who hate lines - especially long lines - to always pick the longest line when they go into a bank. Then when you get up to the front - get off that line - and go back and get on the longest line.

Then when you’re on that line, try to name all the names of all the kids you remember from your 8^th grade - or senior class in high school - or what have you.

It works. I’m not a Type A driver or person, so I never minded what line I got into while driving up to toll booths. I never got E-ZPass - but I thank those who got them. They make the far right toll booth - my favorite - that much easier. Yet I’m reporting that I never minded lines - but a lot more after Jim Gill’s stuff about stress and lines or what have you.

Last week while waiting in the dentist’s office, I was going through all the air plane flights I’ve been on.

So tricks like that can help.

What I’m reporting here is to see the wisdom of  the mini-commandment about not cherishing grudges. That was in today’s first reading from Leviticus. Then there was the wisdom of Jesus about not getting anger and not getting even. Practicing these virtues can give us a greater freedom from grudges.

It’s what grudges do to us - for starters. That’s the best place to start.

As Malachy McCourt said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily was, Cherish No Grudges.

And by the way you can do some of those tricks I mentioned about long lines during long sermons. 

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Drawing on top: How to Draw the Grudge, DragoArt.com