A LIFE SKILL CALLED “FORGIVENESS”.

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Tuesday in the Third Week of Lent is, “A Life Skill Called ‘Forgiveness.’”

BASKETBALL

In my early thirties I used to play basketball once a week with a group of thirty-year old priests in the Archdiocese of New York Seminary. We were taking a two year course - one morning a week - on Pastoral Counseling and Spirituality. It was great. Updating ourselves in the morning and basketball after lunch.

We’d play 5 on 5, 4 on 4, 3 on 3. One day this guy Neil Connelly is guarding me. I have the ball and I’m standing there dribbling trying to see if I should drive, shoot, or pass the ball. While dribbling I noticed that Neil is not standing directly in front of me as is usual - but off to my right. While dribbling I said to him, “Why are you guarding me like that?” He laughed and said, “Because you can’t drive to your left.” I said, “What?” He says, “Yeah that was one of the first things we were taught in basketball. Find out if the other guy can go to his right and to his left - and guard him accordingly.”

At the age of 33 or 34 or so I learned I could not drive to my left.

Well, let me tell you, I practiced that after that. Never got good at it, but I practiced it over and over again - trying to get that skill.

A SKILL CALLED “FORGIVENESS

The title of my homily is, “A Life Skill Called ‘Forgiveness.’”

If you got it, great. If you don’t have it,  work on it. Practice. Practice. Practice.

I met a Rabbi at a wedding once who asked me if I had read the Koran. I said, “No!”  He said, “You better.”

So I bought a Koran and read it - from cover to cover. I have to admit, I didn’t get it. I kept hoping there would be something in there that would grab me. I said to myself, “If this book is so important, there has to be something in here that’s enlightening.”

It didn’t happen to me.

Then I said, “Maybe it’s the translation. Maybe there is something great in here in Arabic - but I don’t have that skill.”

So nothing grabbed - except all the times it used the words “fire” and “burn”. I got a magic marker - an orange high lighter - and went through the whole Koran again and magic marked in orange the word “fire” or “burn” every time either appeared. Ugh too many times - too much violence.

Then I began to notice that there is a lot of destruction and violence in the Jewish and Christian scriptures as well. There is.

People get burned by people; people want to wipe people out. God is crushing armies and enemies. Ugh.

Then I began to notice how much in our scriptures there is to call for forgiveness - especially in families - in relationships - in both the Jewish and the Christian scriptures - brother with brother, father with son, but there is some sister stuff as well - but the document is heavily masculine and patriarchic. It’s up to us to translate it to deal with all our relationships especially  in our family.

If we listen to the scriptures and if we listen to people - every family needs the skill called “forgiveness” - not just 7 times, but 70 times and over and over again. We need this skill in dealing with others - with God - and in forgiving ourselves.

CONCLUSION

Today’s gospel - Matthew 18: 21-35 - is a powerful challenge to forgive and be forgiven - from the heart. That’s how Jesus put it in the last sentence in today’s gospel. Forgiveness includes brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, God and life - as well as ourselves - being able to go this way or that way with forgiveness - whatever it takes - difficult moves at times.  

Want to learn how to forgive and be forgiven - practice, practice, practice till the skill is our’s. Amen. Amen. Amen.