ALONE OR WITH OTHERS?

INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily is, “Alone Or With Others?”

There used to be an old question some priests would ask in confession, concerning certain sins, “Alone Or With Others?”

As I read and reflected on today’s readings, the thought of “with others” hit me and then along came the old question: “Alone or with others?”

LIFE

Life? Am I doing it alone or with others?

And this morning, this priest asks the question from the pulpit – and not the confessional: “Is it a sin to go it alone – and not walk and talk and be and celebrate and work with others?”

We’ve all heard the old saying, “A person wrapped up in themselves makes a pretty small package.”

It took two to make one me – and sometimes the me forgets that.

And sometimes the me forgets the me – and knows life is all about the we. “Whee! Whee! Whee! All the way home,” as the little piggy says in the old story and in the Geico ad.

I remember the story I read somewhere about the quarterback who went bragging about how well he was doing – without ever giving any mention or credit – to the line in front of him – so on one play the offensive line let the defensive line of the other team come rushing in big time – and the quarterback got it. Sometimes pain is the best teacher.

My life – looking at my life, have I been a loner or a mixer – have I gone it by myself – or am I traveling with others?

FACES

If life was a merry-go-round, who else is on the ride with me?

Close your eyes – and see faces – the faces in your life and in your story.

Close your eyes and picture being 7 to 10 years old again. Whom did you play with after school – or at recess in the play ground at school? Whom did you sit next to on the school bus – or the bench at a Little League game – or whom did you pal with during the summer? Picture those people. See their faces again. I would guess if you come up with 3 names – you’re blessed. Check out the old photos.

Close your eyes – and picture yourself from 10 to 16 years of age again. More names and faces should appear than from our 7 to 10 years of age period. Who are they? What happened to them? Do you still have any contact with any of them? Who was your best friend?

Close your eyes – and picture yourself your last 2 years of high school - or your 1st year of college or a job or the military. See people you knew whom you laughed with – and did things with – and enjoyed life with.

Picture yourself 20 to 30? Name some names – of key people in your life – other than your immediate family – from that period of your life.

Who was your best man or maid of honor at your wedding? Who was in the bridal party? Why did you pick each person for your wedding?

Jess Lair – or some writer like him said, “If you have 5 friends in a lifetime you’re lucky.”

Name your five.

Whom do you want as your pall bearers? Whom do you want to give your eulogy? What will they say about your connection to them?

Who are and who have been the key people in your life?

BACK TO THE BIBLE
The Bible is all about people. The Bible is all about God – and us.

One of the great Biblical texts – right from the beginning of the Bible – has God saying in the Book of Genesis, “It is not good to be alone” – so God created us – male and female he created us – and we are told to fill the earth – together.

Who am I creative with? Who am I walking the journey of life with?

Who are the characters in our story?

Evidently – meaning with the evidence we have – ourselves – and our surroundings – God discovered God did not want to go it alone, so God created us and this great big world we live in. Who knows what it will be like 35 or 55 thousand years from now? How much further will we evolve? Did God create it all because he loves stories – and the people in them? Certainly God knows what Dante discovered: comedy and tragedy – Divine Comedy – Divine Tragedy.

Life? Am I going it alone or with others?

Life? Am I laughing and crying alone or with others?

Some people are loners.

Some people choose not to go it with God.

Some people chose not to go it with neighbors.

Life? Am I doing it self-centered? God centered? Others centered?

It took time – and deep reflection and struggles and heresies on the words Jesus spoke to us – that God is not alone – God is Three – yet One.

Now that’s mystery – but if we are a we – and not a me only – we can get that.

And we are made in the image and likeness of God and so we are only looking like God most when we are in threes – or two’s or fours or more. It’s called marriage and family – relationships and neighbors.

TIGER IN THE HOME
Last week I was with about 70 Redemptorists at our assembly – or chapter up in New Jersey. We have to go back up today to finish our business. It was great to be with classmates and friends – and guys I went to school with or were stationed with or were at other chapters with and what have you. We were a we – planning our future.

At breakfast or at a coffee break someone asked me if I had read the article in the paper about raising and educating children – Asian versus other type parenting. I said I hadn’t.

The guy at breakfast or the coffee break said that it’s a hot topic. Some Asian parents push and take no, no’s for an answer. My kids will all get A’s – will all learn to play the piano or what have you. If you want to get into the great schools and have a great life, you have to push your kids to get perfect scores in everything.

Then this guy I was talking with said that the newspaper article asked about social skills – like negotiating in the cafeteria – teenage girls experiencing sleepovers – and other times teenagers are together. Fairness, sharing, being aware of others is as important an education as getting A’s in Math and being able to play the piano or violin.

Without knowing it when I was at breakfast with this guy or maybe it was a coffee break – I began thinking about all this during last week – especially when the sessions got long winded. It triggered all sorts of wonderings and thoughts.

How do young people deal with coaches and parents who are into win at all costs? As a result some kids have to sit the bench and only the best play – and these other kids never get a chance to play?

How do young people deal with tough parents or laissez-faire parents – or tough teachers or broken marriages – and all that.

Life? Alone or with others?

DAVID BROOKS – NEW YORK TIMES
I forgot whom the guy was I was talking with that triggered all this.

I’m at Father Denis Sweeney’s mom’s funeral in Brooklyn last Friday morning – and there was a guy there and I asked him if he was the guy I was talking with about some article. He said he wasn’t but he said, “Tell me more!”

Then he said, “The article was by David Brooks. It was in The New York Times recently and the book he’s talking about is by Amy Chua and it’s called, ‘Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.’"

When I got back to Annapolis late Friday afternoon, I went hunting for all this and found out it is a hot potato. An article by Amy Chua in The Wall Street Journal had over 7000 comments in just a few days. The article by David Brooks had about 300 comments already. Then Saturday I noticed the cover of Time magazine which just came in the mail. It was all about the controversy this lady stirred up about different ways of raising children.

Amazing. It’s getting people talking. Check it out – if you haven’t already.

I was interested for starters what Amy and her husband Jed’s marriage relationship is about. Everything indicates that they talk and they are different – both from very different backgrounds.

CONCLUSION: TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings and that breakfast or coffee break conversation triggered these thoughts for me.

Today’s gospel has Jesus walking down to the water – of the Lake of Galilee – after what seems to have been a quiet life till he hits 30 and then the hits the road – not alone – but he calls 4 men: Peter and Andrew – brothers and James and John – brothers – and then we have the gospels to learn about what its like to be with others. And then he called some more – and we read in the gospels about various women in the group. Jesus certainly didn’t want to go it alone!

Jesus was the light in the darkness – as mentioned in the First Reading and today’s Gospel. He saw his disciples slipping into the darkness from time to time.

Jesus had to deal with his disciples struggle with jealousy and wanting to be # 1. Thomas had doubts. Peter could shoot his mouth off. James and John were nicknames “Sons of Thunder”. In one story there, they wanted God to burn down a town – because they rejected Jesus – and on and on and on.

Then in today’s reading from Corinthians we have Paul’s experience with rivalry and bickering – the stuff in an early Christian Community – the stuff we see in the gospels – the stuff we see in the Old Testament – the stuff we see on teams and parishes and most groups.

Life? Alone or with others?

Maybe some go it alone because of the sin of the world – especially between people – but to be like God – we got to be with God’s people and the rewards are wonderful.

As we all know it’s easier to be in communion with each other here at Mass as we sit together and receive Christ together – but it’s tough when we get out into the parking lot and the roads of life – but we also know – hopefully, we wouldn’t want it any other way. Amen.