REJECTION
INTRODUCTION
The title and theme of my homily is, “Rejection.”
Today’s first reading and today’s gospel deal with this theme.
Jeremiah is told to be aware and prepared for rejection. The Lord says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.” When someone gives you that big a preamble, be aware that there’s going to be a "but" or a “however” coming. The “but” or the “however” is going to be rejection. There are going to be a lot of people against you. Read Jeremiah if you want to hear the rest of the story.
And in today’s gospel story, Jesus is rejected by the folks in his own home town.
On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how well do I deal with rejection?
Rejection. Being “dissed” – being forgotten, ignored. It happens.
TV SHOWS
How well does TV mirror life?
On Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, every Monday to Friday evening, two out of three people don’t win. How well do those who lose, deal with their loss? Do they get ribbed for the rest of their life? Do they kick themselves for not guessing something they should have known? Or do they think and talk positive and have a bragging point for the rest of their lives? Two years ago I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner and one of the guys in the wedding party was on Jeopardy. He lost but it looked like it was a neat talking point for a thousand parties and conversations. “Wow! I met a guy who was on Jeopardy.”
I haven’t watched American Idol but last year I did see that the YouTube piece from Britain’s Got Talent when Susan Boyle is introduced and it looks like Simon Cowell’s rejects her with a shrug of his shoulders before she even sings. Then surprise she sings her song, “I Dreamed a Dream” and the world celebrates her and her talent. They made the same mistake with Paul Potts – a British cell phone salesman – two years earlier. Maybe apparent rejection is part of the show. And I saw during Thanksgiving week with my nieces the Dancing with the Stars program. People make it; people don’t make it; people are rejected. Is possible rejection the price you have to pay if you want to make it?
On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how well do I deal with rejection?
I WRITE
I haven’t watched American Idol but last year I did see that the YouTube piece from Britain’s Got Talent when Susan Boyle is introduced and it looks like Simon Cowell’s rejects her with a shrug of his shoulders before she even sings. Then surprise she sings her song, “I Dreamed a Dream” and the world celebrates her and her talent. They made the same mistake with Paul Potts – a British cell phone salesman – two years earlier. Maybe apparent rejection is part of the show. And I saw during Thanksgiving week with my nieces the Dancing with the Stars program. People make it; people don’t make it; people are rejected. Is possible rejection the price you have to pay if you want to make it?
On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how well do I deal with rejection?
I WRITE
I write and if you want to write, you have to be able to deal with the so called “rejection letter”. “Dear Writer, Greetings. We think your work is good, but at this time it does not fit into our plans. Thank you for considering our company. I’m sure someone will like your work. Your's truly.”
On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how well do I deal with rejection?
BILLY JOEL, THE DA VINCI CODE, ETC.
I love the story of Billy Joel’s song, “The Good Die Young.” It was criticized by some bishop for what he heard as anti-Catholic lyrics. As soon as it was banned or panned, it shot up in the charts. With that knowledge, Billy Joel sent his next album to that bishop and asked him to condemn it.
I thought I heard someone say some bishop or bishops or the Vatican criticized the movie, Avatar. I’m sure Avatar loved the criticism.
It was the same with The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons – books by Dan Brown which then became movies. A commentator wrote, “Back in 2006, Donohue and his Catholic League spearheaded the protests against the cinematic adaptation of author Dan Brown’s conspiracy thriller The Da Vinci Code. The Tom Hanks-starring film went on to gross only $758 million worldwide. Every film should be so contested.”
WHAT ABOUT US?
That’s movies and books. What about us?
How well do we deal with rejection – in marriage – in family – in school – at work – in relationships – in everyday situations.
As priest I’ve heard many stories about the pain that comes with rejection – when a wife or a husband dumps a spouse – or just ignores the other.
As a human being I have looked at my watch or yawned when I was bored.
As a human being when on the phone I sometimes shuffle paper and do something else when the other person doesn’t sound like he or she is going to end the conversation. They can't see me. However, does everyone pick up these signals at least unconsciously – even during a phone call?
Are we all giving signals – many of which are unconscious?
Painful stuff… sending calls for gracious skills.
SKILLS
Do we need rejection skills – on how to reject things and people without hurting them? Obviously the Golden Rule needs to be kept in mind. If this was me, how would I respond to the behavior I’m giving off?
Do we need to work on our sensitivity skills – learning how to cut down on sending to the other those inner “Ouches” or “Uh oh’s”?
Do we need to work on our communication skills?
Do we need to work on our letting go skills?
I’m sure someone said, “There are two kinds of people: those who have work to do and those who have no work to do but find people to bother who have work to do.”
TODAY’S GOSPEL: THE REJECTION OF JESUS
I assume that Luke puts this rejection of Jesus scene here at the beginning of his gospel as a foreshadowing of the end of his gospel – when Jesus is crucified – the big time rejection.
Preachers when talking about this theme are often fond of quoting a poem entitled “Indifference” by a British priest Geoffrey Studdert Kennedy. It’s about Birmingham, England and Modern Times.
INDIFFERENCE
When Jesus came to Golgotha they hanged Him on a tree,
They drove great nails through hands and feet, and made a Calvary;
They crowned Him with a crown of thorns, red were His wounds and deep,
For those were crude and cruel days, and human flesh was cheap.
When Jesus came to Birmingham they simply passed Him by,
They never hurt a hair of Him, they only let Him die;
For men had grown more tender, and they would not give Him pain,
They only just passed down the street, and left Him in the rain.
Still Jesus cried, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do,"
And still it rained the wintry rain that drenched Him through and through;
The crowds went home and left the streets without a soul to see,
And Jesus crouched against a wall and cried for Calvary.
I assume Luke put this story in his gospel and Geoffrey Studdert Kennedy wrote this poem to get us to ask, “What does our relationship with Jesus look like?” Rejection? Ignoring? Accepting?
We have heard Jesus’ stories and sayings – all our lives.
We have received communion thousands and thousands of times.
It’s hard to be passionate all our life about Jesus!
I think that’s why I have found that poem called “Indifference” so real.
Years ago there was a theology of sin that I haven’t heard lately - the theology that my sins today hurt Jesus back then. Each sin drove the nails deeper into him. My sins were part of the crowning with thorns and the beating he received that night and into Good Friday morning.
As I thought about that yesterday while preparing this homily, I had to admit to myself: that theology of sin dropped out of my consciousness a good 40 years ago. Then I had to admit something that I didn’t like to admit: I am not aware enough that my sins today against my brothers and sisters – rejections, ignorings, forgettings, gossip, innuendos - hurt my brothers and sisters today – crowning them with thorns – whip lashing their back and brains – hammering nails to make sure they hang on their crosses – and don’t come off them to bother me.
I began to feel challenged that I have to see their face in their faces - more than the face of Christ in their faces – and maybe that’s why Christ walked this earth – to see our faces better – so we’ll see each other’s face better. I know I wince inwardly a bit when someone says that want to see the face of Christ more in someone that they are ignoring or live or work with that they have problems with – and the reason I wince is because I know they might see Christ more, but they might be missing this specific person they are married to or working with. Something is missing with that other theology – and I haven’t figured it out enough yet.
I know I’m always running. I look into eyes – but I’m not really looking into eyes. I’m seeing my next appointment – my next job – and at my next appointment and my next job – I’m seeing the job after that.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Embarrassment.
These feelings and thoughts are calls for conversion and change.
I have to face these calls and urges to change and conversion – and not reject them.
Sorry to say, it’s hard to start again – be converted again – be enthused again – after so many conversions - so many resolutions to change every January 1st, every Lent, and every once on a surprise Sunday morning or while driving home from work with NPR on, when something heavy hits me.
CONCLUSION: CUT TO THE CHASE
In today’s second reading – Paul is telling us what love really is. He’s saying it’s a good place for renewal and revival. Go for it.
Today’s second reading [1 Corinthians 13:4-13] – which we have heard at 100 weddings – is a good place to start. Paul gives us at least a dozen leads: patience, cut out the jealousy, deflate, don’t be pompous, stop the rude and the crude, don’t rejoice when another falls, Democrat, Republican Independent, priest or athlete, speak the truth, believe, hope, endure, put up with nonsense, and when you fail, try again.
That’s enough. Choose one of those ways to love for this week – reject the others – and then go for it – and see what happens. Hopefully a few good, “Aha’s!” will jump up and down in our brain.
1 comment:
Hi Andy
Did you ever read xyz by abc?
this could be thoughts by you, by me
Inspired each day by what it brings,
enthralled each night by what I read;
the books, the endless library of inspiration, the gifts - each one with own measure of insrutability, from each event of deep sadness, loss, an opening, an inspiration, a door if I dare to pass through - I do - more white light fearless curiosity than would it question my religion - a path, there are many, a joy, an acceptance that I will fall each time I strive, a knowing I will pick myself off the ground each time I fall flat on my face in the grime, a quest to live.
Last thing I endeavor is to read, spend vacant silent time each day, let fall into the space between thought and ego.
What matters is not for me to say, letting go of the need to be in control, taking time - a moment or three - to really listen to my child describe his lego, feeling the tears on my other child after I, the ogre, once again, lose patience with his problem, shouting, screaming - feeling small, humbled by his hurt - repent - I am sorry, hugs, kisses, understanding, seeing him as him, as me, as who he really is - my beloved child, resolve to try harder, harder still to forgive myself, how could I reduce to tears what I love - profess to love, so much. Fail, repent, resolve to try again, hold, give love, unworthy I receive instant forgiveness, that only a child can give - the lesson reveals.
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