CHRIST THE WHAT?_____
FILL IN THE BLANK

The title of my homily, better story, is, “Christ the What?___ Fill in the Blank.”

Once upon a time there was this priest who didn’t like the title of “Christ the King” for Christ. He just didn’t like it. And every time it came time to celebrate the feast of Christ the King, the last Sunday of the Church year, he would go “Oooooooh – No!” – and do some inward grumbling and complaining.

He would celebrate the feast – with a smile on his face – but an unhappy mind in his mind.

So with the feast of Christ the King about to happen, he decided to see if he could contact Christ in person – and get his take on the title – or what have you.

He first sat with Christ in prayer – in church – in the presence of Jesus and voiced his question and dislike.

No answer. Silence. Quiet.

He checked the phone book. Just by an odd chance, maybe there would be a phone number for Christ in there. No luck. But, hey, you never know.

He called the local bishop – didn’t get him – but got a secretary, “By any chance, any chance whatsoever, would Jesus Christ have a phone number?”

The bishop’s secretary thinking this was just one more nut – said, “No! But I can give you the pope’s phone number.”

“Now that’s getting somewhere,” he thought.

He called the pope and got the pope’s residence, and heard the words, “German, hit 1, Italian, hit 2, Spanish, hit 3, French, hit 4, English hit 5.” He hit 5 and got a real live human being, “Pope’s Residence. What can I do for you?”

He stated his first name – didn’t say he was a priest – and then said, “I’m trying to get Christ’s phone number.”

The answer was simple – but direct, “Are you crazy? Christ doesn’t have a phone or a phone number. Good bye.”

With that he almost gave up, but the thought hit him, “Try Google! Everyone says you can get everything on Google.”

So he tried Google. He typed in, “Jesus Christ’s Phone Number.”

Sure enough there were hits – lots of possibilities. As he looked at them they were mostly Church phone numbers – churches with “Jesus Christ” in their title, but there on screen 109, was a phone number. “Should I call? Probably some strange ranger in northwest Alaska or Southeast Australia will answer, but I’ll try it.”

He dialed the number he found there on Google under “Jesus Christ’s Phone Number.”

“Hello.” It was a calm, gentle voice, and in English. “Can I help you?”

Totally shocked he said, “Jesus Christ! Is this Jesus Christ?”

“Yes. Can I help you?”

“Well, I’m one of your followers – well, a, a, a, I better admit it up front – I’m a priest and with your feast of Christ the King coming up, I just want to find out, if you like that title – a, because to be honest, I don’t like it.”

“Okay, you don’t like it? Just call me Jesus of Nazareth or Jesus, Son of Mary, or whatever you would like. Alpha? Omega? Shepherd. Lamb. Light. Whatever?”

“Ah, okay, but, well, ----- well were you really a king or King of the Jews?”

“What did you say your name was? You sound just like Pontius Pilate. He asked me that same question. Check the gospel reading for the feast. I think that’s the gospel story they actually use for that feast.”

“You’re right, but I’m not sure , if it’s all right, not to like the title, ‘Christ the King.’”

“Okay.”

“Well, I’m sure you heard all this. In our country, we don’t have kings and it seems calling you a “king” puts you up there on a platform – or out of touch with people – and all that – and I know that’s not you.”

“Yes, that’s okay. You’re right. I told Pilate and so many others, I’m not the type of king who has armies and rich robes. I walk dusty roads and ride a donkey on odd occasions. I wash feet and rub shoulders with women in crowds who have blood problems – but I also sat and ate in the homes of rich tax collectors – been at weddings – and I let a sinful women wash my feet and dry them with her hair. Wow did that one trigger comments. Or if you want a real big contrast, look at what happened on Palm Sunday and then check out what happened the following Friday.”

“Oh, okay. I guess I’m on the same page with you here a bit.”

“Relax. But can I ask you a question, ‘Who do you say that I am?’”

“That’s funny … very funny Jesus. That’s the same question you asked Peter and your disciples when everyone was trying to figure out who you are.”

“Yes. So just call me Jesus. Just stay awake with me once an a while – for an hour – or whatever. Just wrestle with me – with the questions I was wrestling with – doing my Father’s Will – getting people to enjoy the Sabbath and not make it a burden. Life can be tough enough. Stop to see the beauty of the birds of the air and the flowers in the field. Realize that wheat and grapes have to die to become bread and wine. So too people – they have to sacrifice and die to themselves, if they want to be in real communion with each other. Help me to stop people from throwing stones at others – to stop judging others – to see themselves in their brothers and sisters – to love one another – to go the extra mile with each other – to give the shirt off your back – to turn the other cheek – to forgive 70 times 7 times – all that stuff you can find in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I just want to eat with people – to be with people – to be in their lives – each day. That’s all. I want them to not be at a distance from me – to evolve, to come down from their trees and invite me into their homes.”

“Oh, okay Jesus. Thanks. Can I call you again?”

“Any time. Thank you – and best of luck with your sermon and don’t forget, I’s the king! Just kidding. Just kinging. Thanks for ringing.”