RELATIONSHIPS - MARRIAGE 

3 THINGS TO MAKE IT WORK

Marriage,
three things to make it work:
compromise, compromise, compromise.


Marriage,
three things to make it work:
communicate, communicate, communicate,
listen, question and clarify.


Marriage,
three things to make it work:
forgive, forgive, forgive.


Marriage,
three things to make it work:
love, love, love,
which is work, work, work.


Marriage,
three things to make it work:
time, time, time -
taking time, making time, rearranging
time to compromise, communicate, clarify,
to forgive, love - but especially
to be with the other.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2011

RELATIONSHIPS 

WITH OUR DREAMS 

AND OUR VALUES

What dashes and destroys
our dreams and our values?


Is it hanging around
at coffee breaks
with cranks and complainers
and those who have given up?


Is it walking by parks
and not slipping onto the swings
again or sliding down the slides
when nobody is looking - and
oops there is a little kid
we didn’t see, who sees us
and points us out to his dad
with a great smile on his face?


Is it no longer singing? Is it too much
sitting there in front of the blessed
sacrament - the TV tabernacle?


Is it the lack of songs in the
sound studio of our heart?


What dashes and destroys
our dreams and our values?


What wakes us up?


What gets us to hear God’s
footsteps in the cool of the
evening in our garden?


What got Jesus to leave
the carpenter shop in Nazareth
and walk our streets and hills
healing and telling us his stories?

What got him to say, “Come follow
and dream with me?”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2011

RELATIONSHIPS: 

TEACHERS AND STUDENTS

She never, never liked going to
Teacher’s Conferences! Been
there, done that, dozens of time.


But a new principal at their school
noticed that teachers hadn’t been
going for updates for years now -
so updating was the first topic
on her agenda as new principal.
The teachers griped and groused,
growled and reluctantly signed up
for workshops - the shortest and
closest ones they could find.


Duty calls. She went.
She got the certificate.


Standing there on stage - after being
named “Teacher of the Year - she knew
exactly what she was going to say,
“4 years ago I reluctantly went to a
Teacher’s Conference. A talk I chose -
I figured it would be the easiest
was, ‘Creativity in the Classroom’.
The presenter gave lots of examples,
but the one that changed my life was
an old song and video she played. It had
Harry Chapin’s song, ‘Flowers are Red.’
Oh my God, I was caught red-handed.
There I was Teacher # 1 and I decided
to become Teacher # 2 - so I guess
that’s why I’m here today. Thank you.”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2011

RELATIONSHIPS

- FRIENDSHIPS

The therapist asked a simple question.
It was her favorite - because it always
told her so much: “Tell me
the name of a best friend?”


Silence….


So she asked it another way: “Tell
me the names of the 5 best friends
you had in your life?” She added,
“When I was in school someone said,
‘If you have 5 friends in your lifetime,
you’re lucky.’ So think for a moment
and tell me the names of 3 or 4 or 5
friends you’ve had in your lifetime?”


Silence ….


She was sort of frustrated - so she
became silent for what seemed
a long, long time. Actually it was
only 3 minutes. Then she asked,
“Looking around at the people
you are with every day, do you
notice any close friendships?”


Silence ….


She decided to say nothing - till he
said something - but nothing was said.
She thought to herself: “This is the
first time I ever had a bishop in
for counseling. Does he really
not have any friends?”


Silence ….

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2011

RELATIONSHIPS:

FATHER and DAUGHTER

Isn’t life amazing? Isn't life interesting?


There are not just mountains and oceans,
rainbows and rain, water skiing and snow skiing,
there are also relationships: mom and dad,
nana and pop, mother and daughter shopping,
a father and a son having a catch.


Yet, we don’t stop enough to see a snow flake
sticking to a window pane - or the rain running
down the clear glass - or the shape of one French fry -
compared to all the others on our plate -
just resting there next to our hamburger.


Worse, still, we don’t stop to look each other
in the eye - enough. Oh, we did it when the baby
was a baby - rubbing noses and wondering
what’s going on inside those eyes - in that brain.


Harry Chapin has a song I love, “Tangled Up Puppet”.
It’s about a father and a teenage daughter.
For one moment he says, “Playing tag in the yard
I caught you off guard!” For one moment
they looked each other in the eye. More.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2011

DESIRE

Quote for Today - November 10, 2011

"Lord,
grant that I may
always desire more
than I can accomplish."

Prayer of Michelangeo [1475-1564]

Painting on top: The Last Judgment by Michelangeo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni. It can be seen in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican. It took 4 years to complete [1537-1541]

WORRYING

November 9, 2011

Quote for Today


"When I look back on all the worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened."

Winston Churchill  [1894-1965]