ALL  THAT  JAZZ

Quote for Today -July 4, 2011

"Man,  if you gotta ask you'll never know."

Louis Armstong [Satchmo], (1900-1971). This was his reply when asked what jazz is.  Fats Waller [1904-1943] when asked to explain what rhythm was said, "Lady, if you got to ask you ain't got it."

BURDENS:

10 PROBLEMS and 10 SOLUTIONS

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INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Burdens: 10 Problems and 10 Solutions.”

Let me divide my homily into 2 parts: Part One: “10 Burden Scenarios” and Part 2: “10 Solutions.”

It will be a very simple homily for very difficult problems - and I’ll plan to do this just under 10 minutes.

PART ONE: 10 BURDEN SCENARIOS

What would it be like to be an ox - and a farmer puts a harness and a yoke around our neck every morning and we spend about 10 hours in the sun pulling a big wooden plow trudging through hard, clumpy dirt - earth - day after day after day? Okay this farmer takes off on Sunday.

What would it be like to be 132 pounds overweight - and everyone is making comments about our weight - behind our back and sometimes to and in our face - offering at least 1 diet a day - and they don’t know that we’re making inner comments and complaints to ourselves about our weight every day and offering ourselves at least 2 diets a day?

What would it be like to be a 24 year old young man and we believe we’re gay and our father has ranted and raved about those who are gay all through the years and we know if we came out, he would either snap or disown us or what have you - and the whole family might unravel and come tumbling down?

What would it be like to have a spouse who just simply refuses to sleep with us any more?

What would it be like to be married and we cheated on our spouse and we know if we ever told him or her - it would just devastate the other and we have to carry the shame and the stupidity - the sin - the mistake we made of biting into forbidden fruit 17 years ago and it never happened again - but it happened then?

What would it be like to have a great job and we buy a bigger house for our family and 4 small kids and we lose our job - just like that. We don’t receive a notice or a package. And debt sets in.

What would it be like to be abused - and we finally tell someone and they tell us, “Get over it!”

What would it be like to be in prison for 17 years - and we didn’t do it - and different folks are telling us, “Everyone in prison says they didn’t do it.”

What would it be like to be filled with cancer and the different specialists tell us, “You have about 4 weeks or less to live?”

What would it be like to be in church and all we hear Sunday after Sunday is abortion and we had an abortion 26 years ago and it’s been eating at us all our life - and we were told we were forgiven by God - but we can’t forgive ourselves and we just want to go under the floor of the church or run - every time this issue comes up?

PART 2: 10 SOLUTIONS

1) Become a Realist. Become a Philosopher. Another word would be to be able to say to oneself, “Hello!” To be a realist is to say: Milk goes sour. Bread becomes green. Beer and pop lose their fizz. Most of everything have a shelf life. Then they go in the dump or a museum if they are old enough. So too us. We have a shelf life. We have an expiration date. We get wrinkled and we leak. It’s part of the deal. Of course funerals are tough - especially if the person who died went too soon. As they say, it’s how we live and what we do with the dash between our dates . Of course we can do our part to prolong the gift of life - like exercising, eating smart, getting enough sleep, not smoking and not being dumb. Yet there is always a bottom line. Death and taxes - as they say - will always be around. Movies have “The End” and the music sometimes tells us it’s coming. Sermons have endings, but sometimes you never know when they are coming.

2) Be Sweet! There’s a book I like by Roy Blount Jr. that deals with lots of the problems and burdens of life. It’s title is, “Be Sweet!” something his mother said in many of life’s situations. “Be sweet!”

3) Jot down 10 Bible Texts. Get paper and pen and jot down 10 texts we own -  10 texts that really help us and help others. I was at a wedding a week ago yesterday and this gal had tattooed on her back two lines. I’m standing behind her and I realize they are in Latin, so and I started to translate them. Suddenly she turns and  I said, “I was just trying to read your back." She says, “Oh it’s Romans 12: 2" and I said to her, “Thanks! Interesting."  And she smiled.  My favorite text is Galatians 6: 2 and I don’t and won’t tattoo the words on my back. But I have them on the walls of my everyday mind: “Bear one another’s burdens and in this way you’ll fulfill the law of Christ.” The trick is to make those words flesh each day.

4) Jot Down 10 Sayings. What are your 10 favorite sayings? The ones that help you deal with life. An old priest whom I used to work with, had a whole series of sayings that would pop out when various things happened. What are yours? Two things he often said were, “I don’t think Jesus wanted to make life that difficult.” Another thing he would say, “My father used to always say, ‘I’d give that lady a wide berth.'” Those of you who dock boats know what that means.

5) What Are Your Stories or Parables?  In dealing with life’s problems and life’s situations, I have discovered that people also have stories and examples that help them deal with life’s problems. The trick is to play back a good story that helps you in a sticky problem. What are your top ten stories or examples or parables.

For example, I like to use the "Chinese story of the Horse" in certain situations. I’m sure you’ve heard the Chinese horse story. You just have to memorize it and make it your own. Father John Harrison in his homilies uses stories all the time. He knows they help folks. Let me give just one that helps folks. It has certainly helped me.

The Chinese Horse Story. A farmer had this fantastic horse - and the horse could do everything. He could pull the family cart  to town for shopping. He could pull the plow which he and his 17 year old son used to farm their land. Well one day the horse jumped over the fence and disappeared. The neighbors heard about it and came and said, “Wow, sorry to hear that you lost your prize horse.” And the farmer said to them, “We’ll see. We’ll see.” The next day the prize horse came back with 7 wild horses and the whole town came to the farmer and said, “Wow. You’re a lucky man.” And he said, “We’ll see. We’ll see,” The next day his only son, the 17 year old one, was riding one of the new wild horses, and was thrown to the ground and broke his leg. And the neighbors said to his father, “Wow that’s horrible. What are you going to do now? Your son is going to be laid up for months.” And the father said, “We’ll see.” The next day an army came marching through the area and grabbed every young male and forced them into their army and marched off.” The next day the neighbors - many of whom lost their sons - said to the farmer, “You’re lucky. They didn’t take your son.” And he said, “We’ll see. We'll see.”

What are your 10 top stories?

6) Talk to Someone. Don’t go it alone. But learn the difference between poison and venting. Venting is good, but when it becomes poison, stop the complaining and move on.

7) Walk. Take Good Long Walks. If you remember the Forest Gump movie when he lost Jenny he started to run - and run - and run - till he had run away enough from his problem to get back to life. Walk. Run. Move it.

8) Borrow a donkey! In today’s first reading we have a Bible text from the prophet Zechariah. It says that your king will come to you riding on an ass, on a colt, the foal of an ass and he’ll banish the chariot and the horse. He’ll banish the warrior’s bow and proclaim peace to the nations. This text was taken by Jesus - as we know from Palm Sunday. If you want peace, get off your high horse. Borrow a donkey. Become humble - and stop shooting everyone in sight with sharp arrows - and you’ll discover peace in this way - while on  your way.

9) Pray and then do something about the situation, if you can. I have about 25 sayings that say just that. My favorite version is, “Pray for potatoes, but pick up a shovel.”

10) Go to Jesus. He says in today’s gospel for us to do just that:

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

This took just 10  minutes. I didn’t want to be a burden to you.


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Painting on top

by Norbert Schwontkowski

SOLVING  PROBLEMS

July  3, 2011

Quote for Today - July 3,  2011

"Let's swap problems since all people know how to solve other people's problems."

Anonymous

TOMMORROW!

Quote for Today - July 2, 2011

"One of the kindest things God ever did was to put a curtain over tomorrow."

Anonymous

HEARTS AND MINDS

INTRODUCTION

On this feast of the Sacred Heart, the title of my homily is, “Hearts and Minds.”

STATUE OF THE SACRED HEART

When Catholics hear the words, “Sacred Heart” - the odds are they picture a statue of the Sacred Heart in a church - a statue of Jesus with his heart outside his body - in the center of his chest - a heart on fire with flames and light as well as a crown of thorns around it.

Amazing. What would a person who never had heard of Christ and Christianity think/ feel if they walked into a church and saw such a statue or picture for the first time?

It’s an image and a devotion that goes way back to the 11th and 12th centuries. At first it was a private devotion. It was a mystical image - but in time it became more and more popular. In the 1600’s, with the so called revelations of a nun named Marguerite Marie Alacoque [1647-1690], this image became more widespread - till a pope, Leo XIII, promulgated it to all the church in 1899.

Pope Benedict XVI recently asked the Jesuits and others to promote devotion to Jesus - imagining him as the Sacred Heart.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? THEORIES AND CONJECTURES

I’ve often wondered what it’s all about?

As a result I have theories and conjectures.

Some people wear their heart on their sleeve; others have a great poker face.

We use the image of heart all the time.

James Earl Jones once said, “One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.”

I discovered somewhere along the line that people love personality tests. One basic test is to discover whether a person is more heart or more mind? Many people have taken the so called Myers-Briggs test or the Jungian Test - which gives you a number - testing you to see if you come more from your mind or your heart. I score higher from the heart. I was never good in logic or algebra or math or the Rubik Cube or following directions in putting together a gadget from the instruction sheet. I never look under the hood of a car.

Here’s a simple test: draw yourself. But draw your heart and your head based on how much one is stronger than the other in your personality. Then ask someone who knows you to draw you in the way they see you - and if they wish - they do the same - and then each of your look at the 4 drawings you come up with.

It’s a matter of degrees.

Classically men are supposed to be mind or head and women are supposed to be all heart. It’s a stereotype. I’ve been beaten by my sister-in-law in chess. I prefer Rummy or Go Fish to Bridge!

RELIGION

When it comes to picturing God, would you picture God all mind or head or all heart?

I have a theory about religion. When religion becomes heavy with Reason and Rationalism - someone is going to come out with religious revelations that are Romantic and Emotional.

Check out the Founding Fathers of the United States. Several of them were Deists. They picture God as head or mind. Check out the image on the back of the dollar bill. There is the pyramid with the all seeing eye of God in the head or top of the Triangle. The Deists picture God as architect - planning and creating this world and then put it on it’s own.

When we study the universe, if we are very mathematical and logical, it might make sense. You can’t land someone on the moon without knowing the Math of our Solar System. And our world is very logical. People are able to Go Figure the logic of fires and storms in the hurricane and tornado and forest fire season.

IMAGE OF DIVINE MERCY

I have a theory that when the image of the Sacred Heart faded from our spirituality along came another nun with a similar image - that of Divine Mercy - and it filled the gap and in time another pope promoted her revelations.

HEAD AND HEART

Obviously we need both - because we have both.

And if we live long enough, we’ll discover that it’s smart to work with, cooperate with and be with others who have the gifts we don’t have - and we have the gifts they don’t have.

It’s called a good marriage; it’s called a good team; it’s called a good meeting.

CONCLUSION

Let me conclude with a quote from Marilyn vas Savant - who was a columnist - “Ask Marilyn”. She is said to have been the person who has had the hightest IQ ever recorded: 228. The quote from Marilyn: “If your head tells you one thing, and your heart tells you another, before you do anything, you should first decide whether you have a better head or a better heart.”

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Painting on top: Sacred Heart by Jose Maria Ibarraran y Ponce - 1896

SISTER  AND  BROTHER

Quote for Today: July  1, 2011

"A small girl described her small brother as 'my next to skin.'"

Anonymous

ARGUING

Quote for Today - June 29, 2011

"An argument is the longest distance between two points of view."

Anonymous