Wednesday, March 24, 2010

SIDEWAYS


Sideways conversations ….
When they become our regular conversations,
then is it time to say this relationship
is over – or it needs an overhaul?
You’re telling me you cleaned the bathroom
and swept the garage – and emptied the
dishwasher. Why don’t you just say
you’re angry because you think you’re doing
all the work and I’m doing nothing?
That’s sideways conversations.
This is straight out with it conversation.
So right now tell me what are really
feeling about all this? Talk to me!




© Andy Costello, Reflections 2010
NEVER WAS # 1


Rejected, not elected,
didn’t get enough votes
that day, but I tried ….

Nobody called,
so I guess I didn’t get the job.

Forgot mom’s birthday.
A call would have made a difference,
even though my sister is her favorite.

Came in 48th out of 89 in the race –
not that bad, not that good….

And Pilate gave the crowd a choice.
Whom to release: Barabbas or Jesus?
And the crowd screamed for Barabbas.

Sometimes it’s going to be a long
day when you come in second place.




© Andy Costello, Reflections 2010
YAWN COMMUNICATION


Quote of the Day: May 24, 2010

"A yawn may be defined as a silent yell."


Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

GOSSIP




Quote of the Day: March 23, 2010


"Whoever gossips to you will gossip of you."


Spanish Proverb

Monday, March 22, 2010

BEAUTY





Quote of the Day: March 22, 2010


"Glory be to God for dappled things."


Gerard Manley Hopkins [1844-1889], Pied Beauty.

Sunday, March 21, 2010



YOU  WERE  THERE



INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Fifth Sunday in Lent (C) is, “You Were There.”


What would it have been like, if you went up to the temple in Jerusalem that day to pray? There was Jesus sitting in the temple area teaching a group of people. You stop. You stand at the edge of the crowd. You’re watching. You’re listening.


Suddenly you hear commotion coming from behind you. A group of men are dragging a woman. Obviously something’s wrong. They stand her there in the middle of everyone - there in front of Jesus.


Someone says, “Rabbi, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery.”


“Uh oh!” you say to yourself.


Someone continues, “Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?”


You say to yourself, “These guys are not concerned about this woman. They are just using her to get Jesus – to try to condemn him.”


You see Jesus start to write on the ground with his finger.


He remains silent – for what feels like an eternity. They keep badgering him.


He straightens up and says to them, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Then he bends over and writes or doodles in the dirt again.


Slowly they drop their rocks and start walking away – beginning with the elders.


Jesus straightens up. He is all alone with the woman. You hear him ask, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”


She answers, “No one, sir.”

So Jesus says, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”


The woman wipes her tears – you wipe your tears – and she walks away with a great smile on her face.


You were there.


What would it have been like to have been there?

How would that affect the rest of your life?


AT WORK


You’re at work. A small group is standing at the coffee machine. They are talking about her again. They suspect she’s having an affair. Whispered words made out of rocks are flying.


You’re sitting there nervous. You begin doodling with your finger on your desk.

Gossip gets worse. “You think she’s bad. What about you know whom? Her husband has no clue.”


You begin writing stuff about so and so with your finger on your desk top – not actual words – but with finger doodling on the surface.


And then someone says, “I was at church this past Sunday and Jesus said, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”


And everyone becomes quiet and starts to walk away from the coffee machine and donuts – starting with the oldest.


You were there.


How would that affect the rest of your life?

NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE


You see the movie version of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book, The Scarlet Letter, and you say to yourself , “Woo! People can be nasty.”


You start to read more of Hawthorne and you begin to reflect, “Wow! He was off on puritanical thinking. He was realizing that Puritans were still around and have always been around.


You read his story, Transfiguration. You read that the very human Miriam says to the very puritanical Hilda, “You have no sin nor any conception of it, therefore you are so terribly severe. As an angel you are not amiss, but as a human creature you need a sin to soften you.”


You go to yourself, “Woo!”


Or you type in “Nathaniel Hawthorne” on the Google search engine. You find a sermon by Rev. Judith Robbins about another story by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Minister’s Black Veil. An 18th century minister faces his congregation one Sunday morning wearing a black veil – which hid the upper part of his face. In fact, he wears the veil throughout the whole story – and his wife can’t convince him to take it off. He dies with his face covered.


Then you read that Hawthorne may have based his story on an actual minister in York, Maine, Joseph Moody, who had accidentally killed a close friend. In horror and repentance for what he had done, he wore a veil over his face for the rest of his life.


You have an “Aha Moment.” You realize: everyone does that. We all wear masks and veils – over our faces after our sins – because we feel deep shame and separation from those we know and love. We’ve all seen people who get caught in sin or crime or their hand in the cookie jar and they put a newspaper in front of their face or a coat over their head as they are being led into a court house.


You think, “Wow I know what it is to put my face in my hands. I know what it is to want to escape. I’ve been there.”


QUOTE FROM HELEN HAYES


Or you’re reading a book and there is a quote from Helen Hayes’ 1968 autobiography, A Gift of Joy, On Reflection and My Life in Three Acts. You read the following quote from this former famous American Actress: “He could smell a sinner five miles away on a windless day.”


You wonder whom she’s talking about? The he indicates it’s a male. Was it a priest? Was it an older brother – like in last Sunday’s story of the Prodigal Son smelling the pigsty his brother was in from 5 or 50 miles away? Was it a neighbor? I don’t know.


You say to yourself, “I’ll have to read her autobiography to find out.”


In the meanwhile you go to your computer and read up about Helen Hayes. You say to yourself, “The Internet is amazing.” You find out Helen Hayes was an Irish Catholic. She dropped out of Church for years because she married someone who was Protestant and divorced and she was denied communion. You wonder, “How did she deal with all that? How did she deal being out of communion with her roots? What were her Sunday morning’s like? Did she experience compassion from anyone in her Church or her family or self?”


You start thinking about life. It has its twists and turns – sin and grace. We find ourselves in situations that we wish we didn’t open the door to. We are where we’ve been. We twist Descartes’ famous words, “Cogito, ergo sum" -I think, therefore I am”, a bit. It becomes, “We are what we think.” What were Helen Hayes thoughts about life? I guess I’ll have to read her autobiography. I guess we all have to write our autobiography. After all, we – beginning with the elders – spend much of our later years inside our head – talking and talking to ourselves about what happened in our life and how we got to where we got. We were there.


AS PRIEST


As priest I certainly know a lot about sin. As a human being I know less about sin – because of my sinfulness.


As I was putting together this homily, I was wondering if I could say the following, “There are 3 types of human beings: those who never look at their own thoughts and behaviors and concentrate only on others; those who never look at others, but only concentrate on themselves – talking to themselves about how wonderful or how horrible they are; and those who are humbled – who are making their share of mistakes, learning a bit from them, and have grown in grace and wisdom – understanding themselves and others a bit more every day and every Lent."

How about you? How understanding are you? How compassionate are you? What would you be like in hearing people’s confessions?


I remember the old saying, “A person wrapped up in themselves makes a pretty small package?” Or should it be “ugly" small package?


Some people only see others’ faults. Some people only see their own faults – but in an unhealthy way – becoming scrupulous about little things or they are unable to accept forgiveness for their messes and mistakes. Some people are still learning.

Some people throw rocks at others. Some people hit themselves with rocks – rocks made of the sins of their past. Some people can’t forgive others. Some people drop the rocks and learn forgiveness.


As priest on hundreds of weekend retreats for men and women we often had the so called, “Question and Answer Period” on the Saturday night of a weekend retreat.


Some people ask questions. Some people make statements.


I often found some of those moments awkward and scary. There were moments when I was less understanding and compassionate in my mind towards someone who raised their hand and said something that bugged me.

Someone would stand up and blast homosexuals and I would know that someone there might be homosexual or someone there had a son or a daughter who was gay – and here someone was throwing rocks at other human beings with words. Woo.


Someone would protest about abortions and I knew there would be people there who were feeling remorse for having an abortion – and it’s been bothering them especially in their end of their life years. I also knew that person might have been in on an abortion and feel the horror of it – down deep – and don’t know what to do with those thoughts and feelings – and so they blast others – to get back at themselves – or to try to prevent others from feeling the hurt they feel.


My prayer is that a person making these “ouch statements” become more understanding and compassionate in their own hearts – towards themselves and others.


I used to give AA retreats – even though I’m not an alcoholic. When I was stationed in Ohio, I got a phone call by accident once if I would help on an AA retreat. Having done them back in the 1970’s, I said, “Okay.” I found out when I got up to Michigan to be part of this retreat for over 200 men that they thought I was another priest who did have a drinking problem. I ended up doing that for 8 years and every year it was a powerful weekend.


One year a man got up to give his monologue, also called “drunkalog” – his story. Surprise! He was a priest. I can’t break anonymity, but I can say, “As I heard the mess he made of his life and the recovery he made of his life with the help of the higher power of Christ, I found myself saying, “If I ever got into a mess in my life, I know the one person I would call up immediately and say, ‘Can I talk to you.’”


CONCLUSION: DROP THE ROCKS


Isn’t this what Lent is about? To go into the desert of our soul for 40 days and discover we are a wasteland with wild animals – as Isaiah said in today’s first reading and also discover water there and Jesus is there. We can bloom. We can mature as Paul says in today’s second reading.


Isn’t that what Jesus wanted? Doesn’t Jesus want us to understand each other, not be scared of each other, but to talk to each other and not throw rocks at each other.



POSITIVE  THINKING 




Quote of the Day: March 21,  2012




"If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right."


Mary Kay Ash, New York Times, October 20, 1985