PICKING  YOUR  READINGS 

FOR  YOUR  FUNERAL

INTRODUCTION

Today’s first reading  for this 32nd Tuesday in Ordinary Time - right after the opening paragraph - is often used for funerals. So I decided to say a few words about, “Picking Your Readings For Your Funeral.”

When a family prepares for the funeral of a mom or dad or spouse or child, they can get at the office at St. Mary’s a small paperback booklet that has lots of readings as well as this and that for funerals.

They get a similar book for weddings - but I’ve noticed at funerals a  slight difference: families often chose readings that are not in that booklet.

I like it when families pick a favorite gospel - but I’ve noticed some priests have their favorites - so beware of that.  I like it when people tell me that the readings fit their loved one who has died.  I especially like it when they tell me why they picked a certain reading.

SUGGESTION: PLAN YOUR OWN FUNERAL

Sit down while your mind is working and pick out the 3 readings you would like for your funeral.

Pick out the music as well. I think people do that more readily.

I have found Mary Gassman does a great job in  helping  families prepare for a funeral of a loved one.

My suggestion here is: Make it even easier by having your funeral lined up.

I have done it for my funeral - and it’s in the pastor’s office. I have not looked at it in a few years. I might do it again to see if I’d have some changes.  I hope Harry Thompson can play the Shaker song, “Tis a gift to be simple” - from Appalachian Spring.  It’s number 516 in our Missalette.

Keep it simple!

SECOND SUGGESTION: DO THIS WITH OTHERS

I only remember one time since I’ve been here that I did this preparation with a whole family. I’ve sat down with individuals a bunch of times - as well as couples a bunch of times.

Teresa Marie Newton

September 16, 1944- February 2, 2006

The funeral preparation was for Teresa “Terry” Newton - who was dying. Terry used to come to many a weekday Mass. This was back in 2006. We met at Terry and her husband Dave’s house. The whole family - I picture about 10 people - and Teresa sat there and talked as we picked her readings and her songs and what she would like.

It was a powerful moment of grace for me.

This green vestment I’m wearing today is in memory of Terry. It’s written right here on this inner stole.

We Redemptorists meet every month, but we’ve never done this-  telling each other what we would like for our funeral. We’re asked to line up what we want for our funeral -  on paper. But my thought here is to do this with others present.

At our convocation a few weeks back we were told to meet more often about community stuff - life together - a lot more than we do.  We meet for business - work stuff - but not enough for community stuff.

We have a  community meeting today at 9 AM and we’re supposed to come up with some better plans for becoming a better community.  I’m going to suggest that we do talk together what we want for our funerals - what we would like - what we hope our legacy is - what our life was like.

And I’m sure the others will look at me as if I’m a deer in the night with headlights in my eyes.

And a good P.S. Pick your best picture for your funeral program and death cards - like a picture when you were 33.

CONCLUSION

Today’s gospel talks about a banquet - and obviously - the master isn’t going to wait on and serve the servants. Today’s gospel has the owner bossing the servants saying things like, “Put on your apron and serve me.”

Well, I wouldn’t chose this gospel, because when we die I see God sitting me down to table - and serving me - like he did at the Last Supper - washing his disciples feet and feeding them the Pascal Meal - of bread and wine - giving us himself.

November 14, 2017

TELL ME 
WHAT  YOU  SEE 

Tell me what you see

when you see a whole flock of starlings

showing off over a cold November corn field.

Tell me what you see

when you see a baby sleeping

in church on her mother’s shoulder.

Tell me what you see

when you see wrinkles on a laughing

grandmother’s face playing cards.

Tell me what you see

when you see a father handing a dollar

to a child to put in a musician’s guitar case.

Tell me what you are thinking

when you see me seeing you

seeing me.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

MOTHER CABRINI 

AND ST. JOHN NEUMANN 

PATRON SAINTS OF  TRAVELERS 

INTRODUCTION

Today is the feast of St. Mother Cabrini.” So the title of my homily is, “Mother Cabrini and St. John Neumann, Patron Saints for Travelers.”

Up until February 14, 1969, Catholics prayed to and relied on St. Christopher for help - guidance - protection when travelling.

Pope Paul VI in a motu proprio - entitled, "Approval of the General Norms for the Liturgical Year and the New General Roman Calendar" (AGN) - said that we’ve looked at a lot of saints and some early Christian saints - and there are a lot of legends etc. involved.  One was St. Christopher and St. Valentine and remember St. Philomena, etc. etc. etc.

Because they were not officially canonized, like modern saints, some of these saints were dropped from the church year calendar.  Well, it upset lots of folks when some saints were left off the official Roman Calendar of Saints. Upset happens with church  changes.  This does not mean there wasn’t a St. Christopher along with the stories about him.  We’re all called to be like Christopher - the Christ bearer.  The legend is that he carried Christ across a river where he served ferrying people.  He was a giant of a man - but when carrying Christ, Christ got heavier and heavier.  Yet he made it.

The Pope’s statement meant we are trying to be more exact in all this.

I never talked to folks who had the first name of Christopher. It’s a great name - to be a Christ bearer - to bring Christ to others - and to be a Christopher to fellow travelers.

In reality, they still sell lots of St. Christopher medals and I always bless them.

I’ve thought - that the church was a bit clumsy here - because legends are part of our lives. We have them about George Washington and Abe Lincoln and so many others.

The history of saints  - hagiography - is loaded with stories that need to be checked out - but if they all were - then uh oh!

A MOMENT

I had a wedding here in this parish years and years ago.  The couple had a 4 year old kid and they wanted their marriage blessed in church. They wanted the sacrament.

In the sanctuary we set up his chair, her chair, and a chair in the middle for their son.

During the wedding itself, the kid stood up, and walked out of the sanctuary and down to where his grandparents were.

A seat was empty.  You know the old saying, “Nature hates a vacuum.”

Well, this little girl, seeing the empty seat, walks up and sits between the bride and groom.  She was not connected to them.

I loved the moment.

ST. MOTHER CABRINI AND JOHN NEUMANN

When traveling keep praying to St. Christopher - to  the whoever it was that these stories arose.  But  if you want two new saints to pray to when traveling - and fill up Christopher’s place, pick Mother Cabrini and John Neumann.

Read Mother Cabrini’s life. When she was in Italy as a young lady she was sickly - yet she traveled all over the place. She wanted to go to China as a missionary. Someone suggested America. She crossed the Atlantic 25 times.  She set up 67 places in her lifetime. She was in New York, LA, Denver, New Orleans,  Scranton, Philly, as well as South America, etc. etc. etc.

She traveled.

St. John Neumann was also a traveler - dying on the street in Philly on his way to or from the Post Office.  He traveled all over upper NY State near Buffalo, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Maryland.

CONCLUSION

So there are two saints to pray to when beginning trips across the Atlantic, to Italy, South America, east coast, west coast, gulf coast, or to the post office.

November 13, 2017

PLEASE

Please turn on the light.
Please don't blow out the candle.
Please don't leave me in the dark.
Please give glimpses of what's happening.
Please be with me, Lord, in what's next.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017

WHAT’S THE 

LESSON HERE? 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 32 Sunday in Ordinary Time A is, “What’s The Lesson Here?”

“What’s the Lesson Here?”

A theme for today’s readings is just that: the wisdom learning from an experience.

We heard that in the opening line of today’s first reading, “Resplendent and unfading is wisdom, and she is readily perceived by those who love her, and found by those who seek her.”

What’s the wisdom here? What’s the learning here? What’s the message here? What’s the lesson here?

PATRICIA LIVINGSTON

The spiritual writer, Patricia Livingston, has some wonderful books, but she’s an even better speaker.

I remember her saying the following in one of her talks. Her niece, a little girl,  came up to her and said, “Aunt Pat, you’re always saying, ‘What’s the lesson here?’ Why do you say that?”

And Pat said she told her niece she didn’t know she was doing that.

“Well, you are and you’re doing it always.” her niece replied.

Then Pat Livingston told us that in the weeks that followed that question from her niece, that she found herself saying  just that, “What’s the lesson here?”

Was it that young people listen?  Young people wonder? Young people ask questions? Young people notice.

Then she tried to figure out where she herself learned that. When did she start to do that?

She said that  she never found out. But she added that she is grateful for whoever taught her to do that, because if you read her books, she often talks about her experiences and what she learned from them.

I think I heard that message because I want to do the same thing. I like to think about my experiences and ask myself, “What’s the lesson here?” I wonder who taught me that.

EXPERIENCE

We’ve all heard the saying that experience is the best teacher.

It’s usually said by us old fogies to young people. “You’ll learn as soon as you’ve had enough experience.”

Translation: shut up kid and watch. Maybe you’ll learn something.

Experience is not the best teacher.

I repeat: Experience is not the best teacher.

We can have the same experience a hundred times and never learn from any one of them. We can make the same stupid mistake dozens of times and still not learn.

Reflection and learning from our experiences is the best teacher – that is, if we learn good stuff and get smarter in the process.

Otherwise, when it comes to stupidity, all of us can be repeat performers.

I heard someone say in a talk, “A person can have 18 years of experience or a person can have the same  1 years’ experience 18 times.”

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel talks about 10 young women.  5 are wise and 5 are foolish.

What’s the lesson here in this parable?

Is it simply: the wise prepare and the foolish don’t.

Is it simply: be prepared?

That’s the boy scout’s motto: Be prepared.

Do boy scouts learn to be prepared more than those who never were scouts?

A lesson for me would be: The only person who can answer these questions is me, myself, and I.

Coaches like to go to players [Two fingers  to eyes gesture].

They want them to learn. They want them to see. Notice. Be awake (as today’s second reading and gospel puts it).

I would think we have to answer that question for ourselves: Look. See. Notice.

SELF TEST

I am saying: to make his sermon practical - each of us has to look at our own life and jot down what we learned in life that has worked.

Here are 3 wisdom statements that I learned from experience.

First of all: Don’t argue when you’re in an informal group setting.

I was once at a big meeting with lots of Redemptorists.  I’m sitting there one evening at supper  in a group of about 6 guys. Half were for something; half were against it.  When I noticed we were having this argument I shut up and just waiting for  the meal to end.

Next morning I was at breakfast with 5 other guys - one from the night before group.  Surprise, the same argument happened and the guy from the night before was now yelling for the opposite of what he was voicing the night before.

Wisdom learning: shut up in arguments and some people will switch their opinions in time.

Second learning: Make yourself necessary if you want a job.

One summer - while in college - I worked for Coca Cola.  A guy I knew told me that he was going down to the Coca Cola plant on New Lots Avenue in Brooklyn to sign up to be a helper. I went with him. We had to join the Teamsters and were told to show up the following Monday morning at 8 AM.

If a Coca Cola truck - which had 300 cases of soda on it - sold more than 150 cases that day - they had to have a helper.

Not everyone got hired that Monday morning. I did.

Tuesday morning I was there - and I didn’t get hired.

Wednesday morning I was hired. Without knowing it, I learned the secret for getting a job: Make Yourself Necessary.

The driver’s name was Gigi Quarto. How could I ever forget that name.

When we got to his first stop, I said to him, “Let me do this. You just sit here and I’ll do the work.”  He said, “Okay!” I knew what to do next from Monday.

I went into the store and said, “Coca Cola.”

The grocery store owner handed me the key to the lock on the metal doors out front, that led to the basement. I went downstairs and found 11 empty Coca Cola wooden cases with 24 bottles.

I brought them upstairs - next to metal cellar doors. I then went into the store and told the owner I have 11 empty cases and handed him the key to cellar door.

I then went out to the truck - got the dolly - and got 11 cases and wheeled them into the store.  I put them where he had his Coca Cola. I handed him the paper that listed 11 out and 11 in and he signed the bill. I then put the 11 empty cases of Coca Cola bottles onto the truck where there was  space from the 11 that I removed.

I got back into the truck and handed Gigi the receipt.

I did that on every stop that day - and we were finished by lunch. We ate. Sat under a tree and headed back to the Coca Cola Plant at 2 PM.

Guess what? Obviously I got work every day that summer  - with Gigi Quarto. And when he was away for 2 weeks’ vacation  - he had buddy ask for me  each day.

The lesson - the moral of the story: Make yourself necessary.

Third Lesson: In a good sermon, or writing or movie, or TV show, you don’t notice the writer or the speaker, you only notice the message that hits you.

So after Mass if someone says, “That was a good sermon” or “I didn’t get your sermon” or “That was not a good sermon.”  I don’t listen to any of that.

But if the listener has some story or example hit their stories and example, then to me that was a good sermon.

Like last Sunday I was giving examples of conversion moments in people’s lives. After Mass a lady came over to me in the back of the church and said, “Let me tell you my conversion moment. Some priest yelled at me years ago - so for the next 16 years I didn’t go to Mass. Then one Sunday morning my daughter-in-law on vacation said to me, “Want to go to Mass? We did and I have not missed sense.”

What’s the lesson there?

The target person is the listener, not yourself.  You are not to be even noticed.

CONCLUSION

So if you find yourself saying for the rest of your life, whenever you experience something, “What’s the Lesson here?”

JESUS AS 
A WISDOM FIGURE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 32 Sunday in Ordinary Time -A - is, “Jesus As a Wisdom Figure.”

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s three readings can be interconnected by the theme of wisdom.

Today’s first reading from the Book of Wisdom begins, “Resplendent and unfading is wisdom and she is readily perceived by those who love her and found by those who seek her.”

There’s a whole section of the Jewish Bible that presents wisdom statements, proverbs, and sayings. This type of literature is found in various religions - especially Buddhism and Confucianism.

Today’s second reading from 1^st Thessalonians begins by the call to wake up those who have fallen asleep - a constant theme in wisdom literature.

And today’s gospel from Matthew - our gospel writer for this year - we’ve been in the Year of Matthew - year A.

And today’s gospel presents the story of 5 wise virgins vs. 5 foolish virgins.

The wise virgins were prepared and stayed prepared; the fools were those young women who didn’t prepare - didn’t bring enough oil for their wedding lamps - and those who lived in the Mediterranean area knew the games folks played when it came to  being ready to meet the bridegroom when he comes - at a time everyone would least suspect.

JESUS AS A WISDOM FIGURE

The title of my homily is, “Jesus As a Wisdom Figure.”

As you know religion for some folks is declining.  My point in this homily is the following: “Okay some people don’t accept Christ as God - Christ as divine - God as Trinity - with Jesus as the Second Person in the Trinity.

I would hope parents and CCD teachers and Catechism and Catholic School teachers, would reflect on teaching our kids about Christ as a wisdom figure or teacher.

This is not to say, “Christ is not divine”. This is not to say, “We’re not trying to not push Jesus as divine.”

But it is to say, “Maybe those who have dropped away from the Church - those who dropped Christ as divine - might take this middle role for Christ - Christ as a wisdom teacher.

MY APPROACH WOULD BE

My approach would be to ask people who their wisdom figures are.

My approach would be to ask people, “Where do they get your wisdom?”

My approach would be to ask folks who their best wisdom teachers are and what they specifically learned from that person.

I would say I learned the Methodology of Questions from an old Polish teacher named Clement Jedrejewski.

I would say I learned a lot of wisdom from writers like Robert Coles, Patricia Livingston, Sheldon Kopp,  John Shea, Paul Tournier,  Barbara Taylor, Robert Fulghum, John Dunne, John O’Donohue, Sheila Moon, Elizabeth Howes, Thich Nhah Han, and many others…..

Currently I’m reading a book about what’s going on with religion in China. Someone recommended it when I asked him, “What book are you reading right now?” and he answered, The Souls of China: The Return of Religion after Mao, by Ian Johnson.

Then there are lectures, Ted Talks on YouTube, and many other sources and ways of  growing in wisdom.

If the other person is not interested in reading and learning and growing in wisdom - then forget it.

But if the person is seriously interested in growing in wisdom - even though they have dropped away from religion and church and Catholicism, then I would move to stressing, “Consider Christ as a wisdom figure.”

HOW TO DO THAT

I would suggest to that person to watch Zefferelli’s Life of Christ on their computer and just see Jesus as a wisdom teacher.   You can get that on YouTube for free.

Next I would suggest trying to get a copy of the black and white film on Jesus - called The Gospel According to Matthew - 1964. It’s directed by Pier Paolo Pasonlini.  Watch it as you would be seeing Christ as a wisdom figure.  You can also get this for free on the Internet.

You could also look at movie versions of Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar.

Next I would suggest to people to line up their top 15 parables - and hear Jesus telling them as a wisdom figure.

Or I would suggest reading the Gospel of Matthew - our text for this year = and read as Christ telling wisdom stuff.  

I would go through the Gospel of Matthew and say things, “Some see it as Jesus giving us Wisdom teachings. Read the sermon on the Mount as a separate document - and pick out wisdom statements like: Go the extra mile - Turn the other cheek - don’t see the specks in your brother or sister’s eye and miss the big 2 by 4 in your own eye - don’t pray to be seen - when you pray go into your inner room where nobody sees you - adultery and robbery - you can commit those sins in your mind and heart - without doing it in actuality, You can’t serve two masters, you’ll either hate the one the other.  Enter by the narrow gate….

CONCLUSION

Get to know Jesus as a wisdom teacher and surprise you’ll be like someone on the edge of the crowd - who reaches out and touches the hem of Jesus’  garment and surprise all that will follow after that. Amen.

November 12, 2017

THERE’S  ALWAYS  GLUE 

When things break,

there’s always glue.

When bones break,

there’s always doctors.

When words break,

there’s always forgiveness.

When relationships break,

there’s always the hope of talking together.

When deaths break,

there’s always Easter mornings.

When I’m broken,

there’s always the sitting under a yellow cross.

© Andy Costello, Reflections  2017
The Yellow Christ by Paul Gauguin, 1889
Albright-Knox art Gallery, Buffalo, NY

The Yellow Christ is a painting executed 
by Paul Gauguin in 1889 in Pont-Aven. 
Together with The Green Christ,
 it is considered 
to be one of the key works 
of Symbolism in painting. 
Gauguin first visited
 Pont-Aven in 1886.