Once upon a time - a wise woman - in her early 60’s - but
she looked like she was in her late 40’s - because she was a serious walker -
well she came up with a million dollar idea.
She was at the beach - one beautiful summer evening with
her granddaughter - and the two of them were just sitting there - finishing off
-cold giant vanilla milk shakes. They were sitting on those hard wooden benches
on the boardwalk - looking out at the ocean. But sometimes hard wooden benches
are not even felt - on one’s butt - when you have a beautiful ocean right in
front of you.
And the waves that evening were big and beautiful -
crashing and splashing - like Schiller’s Ode
to Joy at the end of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony - or Louis Armstrong singing, “What
A Wonderful World.”
Grandma said to her 11 year old granddaughter - Deborah -
who was aware of everything - “What’s that man doing down there with the ear
phones and some kind of stick with a plate on the end of the stick?”
“Grandma - haven’t you ever seen someone with a metal
detector? He’s down here every evening searching for coins in the sand that
people lost that day.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope. Just watch him. He’s getting rich by the minute.
Look, there he goes. He probably just found another quarter. Notice how his
backpack is getting bloated.”
“I just got a great idea Deborah - a million dollar
idea.”
“What is it grandma? Tell me your secret. Tell me your
million dollar idea?”
“I’m going to invent a hurt detector.”
“Great idea grandma. Great idea. Tell me more. I hurt
sometimes.”
“Well Deborah, you know I’m a psychiatrist?”
“I knew that grandma. You’re a shrink. I’ve heard people
talk about you behind your back and everyone says you’re great at what you do. You have people coming to you with all kinds
of problems, right?”
“Yep, that’s what I do.”
“I’ve noticed my two older sisters often talk to you when
they have problems - and you - well you just
listen, listen, listen. Nice.”
“Well, Deborah, sometimes I use the old couch method of
helping people - not all the time - but sometimes - especially when people
don’t seem to be telling me - what’s
bothering them.”
“You have a couch in your office? Do people ever fall asleep.”
“Yes to your first question. And yes to your second
question.”
Deborah then asked, “Okay grandma, pretend that I’m a
psychiatrist. Close your eyes and tell me all about your hurt detector?”
“Okay, everybody
has deep down hurts in their life that
they can’t deal with, but they keep them in - and hurts are covered with
sandpaper - when they rub someone the wrong way.”
“Well, I’m going to have a person lay down on my couch.
I’m going to take out my stethoscope and show it to the person I’m with -
calling it my “Hurt Detector”. And like the man there with the metal detector -
I’ll move it around their skull and ask
them, ‘Where do you hurt?’ Or, ‘Tell me about something someone did to you that
you can’t forgive - or something you did, that you can’t forgive yourself for?”
“Their eyes will be closed as I move my stethoscope
around the top of their head. But, I’ll
be watching their face very, very carefully.”
“As they are thinking, I’ll see their face or their
closed eyes, squint or squeeze at certain moments. I’ll spot hurt signals from
their minds - showing up on the skin of
their face.”
“Actually I do this already, but now I’ll have a gadget -
which I’ll call my ‘Hurt Detector’. I hope I don’t get sued. I’ll run this by a
few people.”
“Then I’ll say - when I see them wince or flinch. ‘That
one. Tell me what you were thinking about just then.’ And just then - they’ll
tell me about some hurt memory. It will be a divorce or a teacher or a coach
whom they thought was unfair to them. Or they will tell me about something they
did dumb to hurt someone else somewhere along the time line of their life.”
“Then, and this might surprise you Deborah, but I’ll tell
them about Jesus’ great message of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not for the
other person for starters, but for the person who can’t forgive or be
forgiven.”
Deborah said, “You’re going to give them religion. I
thought you were a psychiatrist and not a priest?”
The answer once more is ‘Yes’ to your first question and
‘Yes’ to your second question.
“Deborah,” her grandma said, “everyone needs to learn how
to forgive and be forgiven - at least 77 times in their life time as Jesus put
it. That means a lot of times. Otherwise
the hurt messes up one’s soul and body - and that’s where millions in health
care will be saved. The stuff of the soul can hurt the stuff of the body - so
that’s why I said this is a million dollar idea.”
“Interesting grandma.”
“Yes, Deborah,
thanks.”
“You’re a good listener, Deborah. Maybe one day you’ll be
a psychiatrist. When thinking about forgiveness
- people always put things out there - into God and into others. Jesus and my hurt detector will get people
finding out that it’s what’s under the sand of our soul - or what’s in our
inner room as Jesus put it, that counts.”
