[The following is a story for our Children's Mass - Today - the 26 Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year B]

THE  DOMINO  EFFECT 

Four old men were just sitting there in a big, big room in a nursing home.

It was around 4 PM on a Monday afternoon.  There were no football games on the big TV in the corner. There visitors were there on Sunday - so they were just sitting there remembering.

Three men were at another table playing dominoes. They were laughing and talking and enjoying the game.

Five ladies were on the other side of the room knitting and talking and adjusting their hearing aids - trying to hear each other and the guys on the other side of the room.

One of the four old men just sitting there - watching and thinking about the 3 old men playing dominoes asked, “When did you first learn about the Domino Effect?”

The other 3 men also adjusted their hearing aids and asked, “What did you just say?”

“When did you first learn about the Domino Effect?”

“Oh,” said one of the four. “I noticed it when I was 12 years old. I was at a baseball game - the Baltimore Orioles against the Boston Red Sox. Carl Yastrimski of the Red Sox hit a home run and my little brother tried to catch it, but missed. An old man in front of him - probably about 40 years old - caught it - and seeing my brother’s disappointment - gave him the ball.

“Hey, kid, here’s the ball,” he said.

“Well, my brother,” the told the other 3 old men, “didn’t see anything that happened for the rest of the game. He just stared at that baseball. He was making out he was throwing it - curve - fast ball - knuckle ball.”

“In the car on the way home, he had the greatest smile in the world. In fact, that’s the first time I ever saw him smile. He was a whiner.”

“In fact, come to think about it. I don’t think he ever whined for the rest of his life.”

“Come to think about it, that changed my life as well.”

“Thinking about the man - the fan who caught that ball - and how he gave it to my brother right away - that changed me as well. I learned to be nice to people - and I’d see how they then were nice to people and then they too were nice to people.”

“Come to think about it - looking back after all these years, I bet that guy who gave my brother the baseball -  never knew the effect of doing that had on others.”

One of the 3 old men asked, “What happened to the baseball?”

“Oh,” he said, “my brother has it in a plastic case and it was on his bookcase till he died. His son has it now - because he heard his dad tell a hundred people how some guy when he was eight years old caught that ball at old Orioles field - Memorial Stadium - and he gave it to him.”

Then he concluded, “I guess that’s when I learned about The Domino Effect.”

The second guy said I learned about the Domino Effect from our dog.  Whenever he woke up, everybody woke up.

He would bark if he heard the paperboy toss the paper up on our porch.

That would wake my mom up - who would wake my dad up - and we would hear them talking or the toilet flushing - and we would all wake up.

At work if the boss was in a good mood, I noticed everyone would be in a good mood - but if he was grouchy - others would react and be grouchy. Same too with people beeping their horns in morning traffic.

The third guy said, “Oh - I guess I noticed it when I was in school. If the teacher was in a good mood, we’d all be in a good mood. If she got mad at some kid that kid would take it out on some other kid and on and on and on.

“I guess bullies cause the most problems. Hitting - pushing - being selfish - name calling - would bounce all over the school playground.”

“Of course, I didn’t notice that till I was in the Navy - on a submarine.  If someone was in a bad mood - everyone got the after effect of  it every time.”

“But once we got a Captain - who was the happiest person I ever met in my life. When he came on board, I noticed that laughter on our submarine improved 11 thousand percent - compared to the captain we had before him.

“So I guess that’s when I really learned about the Domino Effect.”

Then he added, “I heard this when I heard it called the Butterfly Effect.”

“What’s that?” the guy on his left said.

“Oh, it’s a theory that if a butterfly shakes his wings in China - it works its way all the way to California and beyond.”

There was still one guy who had spoken up.

So they finally asked him, “When did you first hear about the Domino Effect?”

He said, “I never heard about it. At first when you guys started talking I had no idea what you were talking about.”

Then he paused.

Then he said, “Now I know why everyone is so happy with this Pope Francis. He smiles and the whole crowd smiles.”

Then he paused  - seeing the other 3 guys smiling.

Then he said, “I guess that smile is going all around the world - all night long - and into today and into forever. Wow! 

September 27, 2015

BUT

People say profound things at times -

and we say, “You’re right!” But isn’t it

better when we do life and death with

each other? “Oh yeah! You’re right.”

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2015

September 26, 2015

SUBJECT-OBJECT

Martin Buber, a Jewish spiritual leader,

called us to treat each other as subjects -

never objects. Do some deep thinking

on this? Here is a person or here is a

thing. Ooooooh! It makes a big difference.
That’s why I hate describing someone

as toxic or dysfunctional - but I keep

hearing others described as such.

Martin taught us to pause and see how

we see each other: I-Thou or I-It?

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2015

5  LEADERSHIP SKILLS

[This was a short talk I gave at 2015 COSA - Convocation and Induction of New Officers for the Council of Student Affairs of St. Mary’s High School in Annapolis, Maryland - 8:30 AM September 25, 2015.]

INTRODUCTION

I was asked to speak 5 minutes on leadership.

Someone said, “Leadership is the art of getting others to do something you want done because they want to do it.”

There are 3 types of leaders: elected, appointed, and natural.

Some of you are elected. All of you are called to be leaders in your own way - with your own unique gifts and blessings.

Yesterday, the Pope, told the elected leaders of our country the following: Lead - be humble - work for the common good of all - especially the poor and the powerless - practice the Golden Rule - avoid polarizing.

I have 5 minutes - so I jotted down 13 qualities that a leader needs - and then I picked 5.

So here comes 5 Leadership Skills - in 5 minutes or less - and we have a lifetime to work on them by putting them into practice.

1) LISTENS

A leader listens.

A leader has to believe every person has a voice and a vote - and he or she has to hear those voices. In other words, “Every person matters!” as was the theme last year in our school and St. Mary’s Parish.

Listen and look for future leaders - by listening to all - and bring them on board the ship called, "Leadership."

A leader has to listen and then give back to a speaker what the leader thinks the speaker is saying. He or she gives back the speaker's comments by saying something like this,  “Is that your point?” or “Let me see if I have it correct what you’re saying.”

If you’re not listening expect dissension and complaints and things not working.

What drives me crazy is to go to a meeting and sense that those who have the voting power already have their minds made up.

A few years back at the Anne Arundel County Council there was a hearing about implementing “Work Force Housing.” Someone in the area asked people in various churches to come to the hearing and voice our opinions - when this proposal came up. We had been at a meeting where Workforce or affordable housing was brought up - especially for nurses, police, teachers, etc. We also went on a bus ride to a few sites in other counties where there was Workforce Housing.  The sites looked great to me. 

I went and stood on the line at the A.A. county meeting when this proposal was discussed. When I had my chance I said into the microphone, “I don’t believe you are really listening to us. I think your vote and your minds have already been made up.” Then I sat down.

By the response of the elected members I knew I got a reaction. I don’t know if it got any of the officials seated up front to change their vote, but they heard my comment.

Too many times have I heard leaders say, “We want your input.”

Too many times in life I have experienced leaders who have not listened.

A leader wants the input of the group. 

Better a leader goes to the different members of the group and asks, “What do you want?”  A leader says things like, “Bob or Brenda, you haven’t said anything. What do you want?”

Listening is not just with the ears. It’s also with the eyes. Yogi Berra said, "You can observe a lot by watching."

So # 1: Listen! This would be my longest and most important message. 

2) HAS A PLANNING METHOD

I think a leader needs to have a planning method.

There are many. The one I use is called the Power Cycle.

It has 4 steps: Evaluation, Recommendations, Decision and then Action.

First Step: Evaluation looks backwards up to the present moment. The leader tries to gather information about what is going on - what has been going on - the good, the bad and the ugly. Leaders - elected and natural  have to evaluate what folks are saying and what they want - beefs and hopes.  

Second Step: Recommendations look to the future. The leader listens to not only what has been going on or not going on, but to what the group recommends.

There are tons of them. Listen for the, “Why don’t we’s? Why don’t we? Why don’t we? Recommendations are voiced. Leaders have to spot them.

The next time you see the movie, Remember the Titans, listen to various people making suggestions.

Third Step: Decisions. Notice the word "cision" in decision. Notice - as in scissors, incision. To decide is to cut lots of recommendations that have been suggested because of the evaluation. Pick the best recommendation - either by voting - arguing - deciding.

Fourth and Last Step: Action. Just do it.

Then go through the power cycle over and over again for the good of all on what happened - what worked and what didn't work or what didn't happen.

3) SERVE - GET TO WORK - GET SWEATY - PUT IN THE TIME.

The third step is to serve - to give - to get it done. Ego’s must go. Service and work is what leadership is all about. The first should be last - leaders are the last to leave - making sure things are put away - garbage is put in garbage bags - and maybe even brought out to the dumpster - lights are turned off - and doors are locked.

4) EXPECT DIFFICULTIES

Expect mistakes, difficulties. Expect selfishness and stupidity.  Expect the cross.  Expect conflict. Herbert Bayard Swope once said, “I cannot give you the formula for success but I can give you the formula for failure —which is, 'Try to please everybody.'”

5) SAY THANK YOU

Say “Thank you” and say it a lot and say it to a lot of people - and mean it - feel it - appreciate it.  Remember - as in football - it’s not me, me, me. It’s “We, we, we” all the way to the goal. Touchdown

Thank you.

September 25, 2015

LEADERSHIP

You ask me,
"What do I think about the pope."

My hopes about this pope are these -
that people will say and people will think:

"He's a leader. I could follow this guy."

"I gotta get back to church, synagogue,
temple or mosque!"

"Oh, that's what church is all about."

"Uh oh! I'm a lost sheep on some of this."

"Baa, baa, baa, please find me!"

"Ooops I'm lost I gotta get found."

(c) Andy Costello, Reflections 2015

Check Luke 15

September 24, 2015

SUNRISE - MOONRISE

All alone - early morning - the first to put

my footprints on the brand new canvas - of

this brief edge of ocean - walking along

listening to the lapping of the water -

like the tongue of my chocolate lab -

at his silver bowl - walking along - before

the many more footprints of this day -

the sun to my left - out there rising up

from the ocean sky - before the heat -

before the simmering heat - before

the long of this day - and Lord, you give

me this day - this gift - and I’ll walk along

this same silver beach tonight - in the moon

light - thinking about the all of this day -

the first day - and all is good - and all is,

“Thank You God - in the cool of this evening!”

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2015

September 23, 2015

POTATO  PEOPLE

Potatoes are a hard dry brown crop - needing

to be dug up out of the dirt brown earth. They

are not pretty or attractive and delicious looking

like a plum or cool yellow green grapes or a rich

red apple. Potatoes are like the necessary people.

And look at the hands of the potato diggers.

They are not the pretty people - the types that

make People Magazine. Nope. But they are

the necessary people - the many of the earth.

Did you know potatoes are the fourth largest

crop on the planet - right after maize. wheat

and rice? Did you know that they too immigrated

from western South America and have been

on the move ever since - planted all over the earth?

And like the poor and the unpretty, potatoes are

placed on dinner plates off to the side - never

the main feature. Yet they are as necessary

as the waiter or waitress bringing us the meal  -

or those who dig the potatoes or those who

help transport them all around our world.

Lord teach me to see the potatoes I eat and

that I see the poor of the earth when I walk

this earth - this rich brown ground beneath me.

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2015

Painting in middle, The Potato Harvest,
(1855) by Jean-Francois Millet

Painting at bottom, The Potato Eaters
(1855) Vincent van Gogh