June 16, 2015

THE WHISPERERS

Sitting on Table 10, I saw a gal sitting on

Table 8 - cup her left hand over her mouth -

and whisper with a slightly bent body - 

to the gal sitting right next to her.

A lady walking by stopped at Table 9. She

bent over to whisper something to a man 

sitting there all alone as his wife was

on the dance floor with some other man.

Then the first whisperer - the one on 

Table 8 - whispered again to the lady

next to her - this time laughing and 

pointing at the guy on Table 9 who was

just tapped on the shoulder by so and so.

Then the whisperer on Table 8 spotted me 

on Table 10 whispering about her with cupped hand to the person on my right with a slight

point of hand - as I was laughing and telling 

about what I was seeing going on over there.

Moral of the story: Sometimes banquets

have nothing to do with the food.

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2015

Painting: Dance at Le Moulin
de la Galette [1876]
Auguste Renoir, 
Musee d'Orsay, Paris

WHEN  FORGIVING, 

THE   KEY  PERSON  
 TO FOCUS ON IS ________?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 11^th Tuesday in Ordinary Time is, “When Forgiving, the Key Person to Focus on Is?”

In today’s gospel Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, ‘love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you….”

WHEN IT COMES TO FORGIVENESS, WHOM TO FORGIVE?

Up till I was 60 or so, I accepted Jesus’ teaching about loving one’s enemies, turning the other cheek, going the extra mile, because Jesus said so to do so. Then when I began to listen, really listen, to people who were having family problems - or person problems -  with certain behaviors going on, I began to realize the heart of what Jesus was getting at.

I moved from acting out of experience - and not just authority.

For starters, when it comes to forgiveness, the key person is me.

The key issue is what not forgiving does to me - or to anyone who refuses to believe.

The key issue is what  is happening to me - when I become angry, bitter,  frustrated.

I can become sour.  I can become arthritic of soul.  I can have hurt in my hands and my wrists and then my lower arms, because my fists are often tight - with anger. So too my jaw - and then my face when a smile slips off my face.

Not good stuff.

THE CROSS

I think some more realizations came when I thought about Jesus saying while on the cross, “Father forgive him because he doesn’t know what he is doing.”

I wasn’t realizing when I wasn’t forgiving.

Then I realized the non-forgivers  can’t shut up about someone who hurt them  - whom they hate - whom they think is getting away with murder.

Then I realized what Nelson Mandela did - he forgave. For years I figured South Africa was going to go up in flames. Surprise. Mandela got out of prison on Robin Island. And there wasn’t a blood bath in the southern tip of Africa - like a Ritz Cracker dipped into a  bowl of tomato soup. Through the years - perhaps because of the smaller number of whites to blacks - because of the injustice, apartheid, anger, and seeing the running of crowds and police and the pushing for freedom, and all that - I expected more blood.

Then we all saw the black and white  race struggle in our south - and in our cities - in the north and south, east and west. We saw the and the riots and the fire hoses and angry dogs and police with sticks. We heard and read about and experienced the shooting of Martin Luther King

Then I saw the movie: Gandhi. 

Reflecting on all that - seeing all that - I got glimpses of what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek.

Rocks - thrown - in both directions - bring broken windows and bloody faces.

CONCLUSION

Then I heard someone say that forgiveness is at the core of Christ.

If we forgive others, if we drop the complaints, we lighten our spirit - and we fly better.

And surprise, not only are we helped when we forgive, so too others.

GOING  THE  EXTRA  MILE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 11^th Monday in Ordinary Time is, “Going The Extra Mile.”

Sometimes we wonder and we ask where a saying comes from.

For example, I’ve often wondered where “Pushing the envelope” came from.

FROM THE BIBLE

Surprise! Many sayings come from the Bible. Check them out - like Jesus’ comment, “Putting your two cents in.”

We have too well used sayings in today’s gospel: “Turn the other cheek!” and “Go the extra mile.”

I assume that part of the  reason why is because preachers would take a comment from the Bible and use it in a Sunday sermon and folks would repeat them in doing life.

GOOD WORKER

Employers often would tell their workers, “Go the extra mile if you want to grow our business. The extras make the difference.

I love the saying, “Go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.”

THE WHOLE 9 YARDS.

Most agree that going the extra mile comes from Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. In a way it’s like the saying, “the Whole 9 yards.”

However, when it comes to the saying, “The whole 9 yards”  -  there is no common agreement about its origins.

It could refer to cloth or sails or machine gun bullets.  It could be the same as the saying about the whole ball of the whole enchilada or it could refer to the size of something in yards:  the size of graves,  kilts, or bridal veils.

Whatever, when it comes to serving, loving, giving, hopefully all of us will give the whole 9 yards and then some. That giving the extra comes from Jesus in how we measure pouring out grace and love in forgiving and loving one another.

HIDDEN

The part I like in all this is the secret side of love.

That too is from Jesus - that we don’t do to be noticed - but to make the other’s day.

I think that was the secret reason for the secret success of the Random Acts of Kindness Movement from a few years back.

I heard an example in a sermon way, way back when we were in the seminary about doing things in secret.

A Redemptorist - who became our rector major - talked about a Redemptorist brother who was an excellent carpenter.  He was asked to make a telephone booth - and where it was to be put. Nobody would notice the back - or one of the sides so the priest in charge said, “Don’t worry about the back or the left size, nobody will ever see them.”

However, this brother who made the telephone booth made the back and side which nobody would see - the same as the sides that would be seen. Whenever I spotted that phone booth I would remember that story about it. When I got stationed back in that place years later, I noticed that it was moved out from where it was - and now everyone could see that all 3 sides and all 3 sides were well carpentered.

CONCLUSION

So too our lives - going the extra mile or giving the whole 9 yards makes a difference - especially to ourselves - because it helps our soul grow more generously and that will show up in all our life situations.

June 15, 2015

MIRROR, MIRROR??

While walking down the street,
I spotted a mirror in a garbage can.

I walked by it. 

“Wait a minute!”

I walked back and took it in my hand.

I dare not stare at myself on the street -

but maybe when I get home. 

When I got home I looked myself in the mirror.

 I looked myself in the eye.

“Wait a minute! 
I’m not ready for such inside gazing.
Maybe one of these years.”

I walked outside and put it in my garbage can.

It wasn’t there the next morning. I wondered, “Will it work it’s way around town -

or will someone discover themselves today
and hang the mirror on their wall 
and end these personal selfies?"

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2015

THIS  IS  GOOD  ENOUGH 
FOR ME

[If you want to see and hear this homily on vimeo hit: https://vimeo.com/130981440

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for is, “This Is Good Enough for Me.”

Some priests ask another priest to preach at their Anniversary Mass.  Sorry!   I wanted to say some things myself - on this occasion. It allows me to avoid a roast or a toast. I wanted to look at my life and thank you and so many others - as well as God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - for so many blessings.

Once more the title of my homily is, “This Is Good Enough for Me.”

OPENING IMAGE

I was wondering - if every family has a private joke - a specific saying - that everyone says - at family meals - or what have you - when a specific behavior happens.

Ours is, “This is good enough for me.”

I was telling someone this and they said their family saying was, “NS Sherlock,” when someone says the obvious.

NS! Obviously if you don’t get that, I can’t explain it in church …. But as Father Tizio says - with his Brooklyn Italian accent - especially when someone doesn’t get one of his puns, “Think about it!”

Here’s the story where our family comment comes from. When we were kids, our mom told us a story about when she was a young woman. She was working as a cook - a maid - in Boston for this rich family: the Brandt’s. This one evening they were going to have  a big dinner. My mom made a 7 layer cake. It was off to the side  - on a side board  - the pièce de résistance - the dessert for the end of the dinner.

Before the meal began this guy headed right for the cake - with knife and plate in hand - getting ready to cut himself  a nice slice. My mom spotted the turkey and went over to stop him. She said, “There’s plenty of food over there on that table!” and he says, ‘This is good enough for me.”

We all laughed and without knowing it, in time we found ourselves often saying that saying when about to eat something delicious. With fork in hand - with cake or prime rib on that fork - with a smile on our face, someone would announce - holding up their fork, “This is good enough for me.”

MY LIFE

A Golden Jubilee is a good time to look at one’s life - one’s wonderful memories and moments like this and say,  “This is good enough for me.”

In O. L. P. H. grammar school, a Redemptorist priest came into our 5^th grade or so classroom and told us about what it was like to be a missionary priest in Brazil. I don’t remember all the details of that moment - whether he had pictures of priests on horses going into the wilderness to say Mass and baptize and marry people. But I do remember that this Redemptorist priest - the priests in our parish - asked us, “Who of you would like to be a priest.”

I raised my hand.

Years later I read in Father Andrew Greeley’s autobiography - Confessions of a Parish Priest - that he raised his hand in a similar situation - but it was in the 4^th grade - and he added, “I never took my hand down.”

At times people ask, “When did you decide to become a priest?” and I used to be embarrassed to say, “5^th grade.” When asking kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I found out that kids often have an answer at a very early age and some say, “I have no idea. I’m just a kid.”

I’ve visited many classrooms - especially when I did many, many parish missions, I discovered that 79.5% of grammar school girls who have pets want to be veterinarians.  I heard that my grandnephew Sean came to the Naval Academy to see the Blue Angels as a kid. It worked. He graduated from the Naval Academy  in 2013. Right now he’s in Pensacola, Florida - training to work in navy planes - but not the Blue Angels. Wouldn’t that be a great bragging right?

I’ve also been asked, “Why did you  become a priest?”  I’d tell people that I wanted to be a foreign missionary priest since I was a kid - like many Redemptorists in our Baltimore Province wanted to be.

So I went to a minor seminary for high school, then college, our novitiate, finished college, then finished 4 years of theology in our major seminary.

With an eye on Brazil, in December of 1966 after finishing up our final four months of training here in Annapolis, surprise, I found out the night before our first assignments, that I wasn’t going to Brazil like 4 of my classmates did.   I wasn’t going to be able to say: “This is good enough for me.”

Fast forward. Looking back now at all that has happened since then I’m saying today, “This is good enough for me.”

ANNE ARUNDEL MEDICAL CENTER

Last year - some moment - like 2:35 in the morning - I’m driving up Bestgate Road to get to the hospital. I was on duty and that means I had the duty phone on a small night table next to my bed.

The phone rang - woke me up. A nurse said that someone was dying and the family wanted a priest. I jotted down the info and got going.

I threw my clothes on and threw water on my face. I’m driving fast to the hospital and thinking, “I wish they called last evening or yesterday - because that would mean Father Flynn or Father Krastel would have seen the person. Those two characters are fabulous to be with because they cover the hospital weekdays and weekends  and into the evening  and it makes it easier - much easier -  for the rest of us. Thank you Joe and Pat.

As I turned left off Bestgate and onto Medical Parkway, an insight hit me. I’m talking to myself, saying, “Wow! Great! Next time when someone asks me why I became a priest, I’ll answer, ‘So that some folks will have  a priest, when they want a priest, at 2:30 in the morning.’” I’ve heard many priests say about being a priest, “The reason I entered is different than the reason I stayed.” I’m sure all of you who are married have said the same thing.

I’ll also add,  if you want a priest at 2:30 in the morning - make sure it’s not early, early, Thursday morning - because I’m on duty 8 AM Wednesday morning till 8 AM Thursday morning. Smile.

As I look back at lots and lots and lots of moments like that in the past 50 years, I’ve said without thinking, “This is good enough for me.”

Like all the priests here at St. Mary’s and all the priests I’ve met and lived and worked with, we know the many, many experiences that we pinch ourselves for being there.

In time, I got over my disappointment in not going to Brazil.

In time, I got to experience many wonderful moments - many of which got me to say, “Now I know why I’m here.”

Ann Marie who works the window and the phone at St. Mary’s said to me recently, “When I die,  I want to ask God about the What if’s?”

I had never heard that comment or wondering before - about what if’s. Then she said, “I think I’m going to then say, “Thank you God, for the What wasers!”

I love a comment by Alfred Lord Tennyson in his poem, Ulysses, “I am part of all that I have met.”

I am part of my mom and dad - their seed and egg that became me - and my brother and my two sisters. I’ve been often told that I look like my dad and I have his smile - and I’ve noticed in family photographs that my feet point outwards like his did. I have their Catholic faith which they brought from Ireland. I heard their stories. We are family. Stress on we.

MEMORIES

I remember a moment when I was a little kid. I was in the sunporch of our house. My dad was sitting on his green vinyl chair in the corner reading the newspaper - and I was simply paging through some of my father’s books - on a bookshelf.  I opened up one of his favorites - a brown covered book, entitled, Best Loved Poems of the English Language.

There on some page in the middle of the book was a rose petal - dried and dead. I had never seen such a thing before. I walked over to my dad carefully - with the book opened and the rose petal - lying like the bread on the gold plate on our altars at  Mass.

“Daddy,” I asked, “what’s this?”

“What’s what?” he said as he put down the paper.

He looked at the rose petal. He picked it up carefully. A great smile came on his face. He said one simple word, “Memories!” That was good enough for him - with his explanation for a moment of his life.

POET

I like poetry - and I don’t know if I got that gift from my dad or what. I do have memories of him reading a poem now and then to us.

Thank you daddy for all you gave us - and also mom and family - and my sister Mary. I’m the youngest of four. Sorry Mary - for possibly giving away your possible age. We’re the last two. And lately we’ve been revisiting our childhood.    Memories.

In time,  I’ve found out that Jesus was a poet and a story teller. So thank you Jesus for all your poetry and all your parables.

As you know - Jesus said the same of the prophets - especially Isaiah, “Thank you for your parables and your poetry.”

We heard poetry and parable in today’s readings in the image of a tree. Each tree has to start small - as a seed or a seedling - before it can become a majestic cedar tree on a high mountain - the image in today’s first reading or the image of a lowly mustard tree in one’s back yard - the image in today’s gospel.

WHAT’S GROWING IN OUR BACKYARD OR IN OUR BACKGROUND

At a 50^th Anniversary - one pauses to see what’s growing in one’s garden.

I once gave a talk in Reading, Pennsylvania -  in a park - in a band shell - up on a stage - and they told me there was 15,000 people there that evening. With the lights shining across a pond in front of that stage - I could not see anyone’s face in the dark - people from many parishes in that area - celebrating the Eucharist in memory of St. John Neumann and his work in that part of Pennsylvania in the 1850’s.

As I stand here today - looking out at your faces - I see you. We’re not in the dark. It’s nice to have met you - and gotten to know some of you - and to wonder what’s growing and going on behind your eyes - and in the plot of your brain - called you.

As I stood there with you at times - I hope your felt welcomed - wondered about - and loved. If I seemed cold or distant at times, please forgive me. I’d love your mercy - a theme I’m hearing this pope being off on. I mentioned in a homily just this past week - that this pope said, “No sticks! Stop beating others with your sticks - as well as stop beating on yourself.”  Hopefully, you’re experiencing a forgiving church - and forgiving priests - and forgiving Christians - a forgiving self - rather than a judging one.

As I close my eyes I often see in the dark - many, many, many faces in all the places I’ve been assigned - and I’ve worked in, Wisconsin, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Maryland, etc. etc. etc.

I hope in the Masses we celebrated and prayed together in and with Christ, we experience the basic Christian meal called the Eucharist

I hope in my homilies you’ve heard more Jesus than me - and I hope in my blog and in my books and poems and magazine articles,  you’ve heard down to earth contact points with God - as real as bread and wine - and once and a while - as elaborate as a 7 layer cake.

CONCLUSION

And I hope afterwards - you’ve say to yourself  - many times - about your life and your memories, “This is good enough for me.”

June 14, 2015

SELF TEST # 17 

SPOTTING PEOPLE

Whom do you spot,

when you look at people?

Do you spot only large people,

or short people, or thin people?

What do your answers to

these questions say to you

about you?

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2015

Paintin by Botero, "The Nap"

Sculpture, "Piazza" by Alberto 

Giacometti 

THE  IMPORTANCE  OF  

AFTERWARDS 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 11^th Sunday in Ordinary Time, B, is “The Importance of Afterwards.”

One of life’s greatest blessings is afterwards.

It can also be one of life’s greatest curses: afterwards.

I prefer the positive to the negative - hope to fear - blessings more than the curse - dreams more than nightmares - great memories over arthritis.

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings trigger this thought of afterwards.

The first reading from the prophet Ezekiel talks about a small cutting or shoot from the top of a cedar tree - being cut - and then being planted on a high mountain and in time - afterwards - it puts forth branches and becomes a majestic cedar tree.

The second reading from St. Paul’s 2^nd Letter to the Corinthians talks about walking by faith - not by sight. We don’t see the future, but we still walk towards the afterwards by faith - in hopes of a great harvest.

The gospel talks about planting seed. When we plant seed, we plant with hope - with a vision of the afterwards: a field full of wheat - a vineyard full of delicious grapes - a table with wonderful  bread and wine. 

We also hear in today’s gospel, Jesus telling us about a mustard seed being the smallest of seeds - but afterwards it becomes a large mustard plant - with large branches - with birds enjoying the shade under those leaves.

And hot dog! Hot dogs taste much better with good mustard.

WHICH MOVES YOU MORE?

Which moves you more - a picture of a baby or a picture of 28 people - a family -  on a back porch steps - celebrating their grandparents - 50^th Wedding Anniversary - and all are smiles.

Which moves you more - pushing and politicking and protesting for a great playground in a neighborhood without any - or three years afterwards seeing it packed with kids - on swings - on climbing steps - a sand box - running paths and parents talking with each other off to the side?

Which moves you more - learning how to knit or crochet or sew or coming to the last stich of a finished blanket or quilt or needlepoint?

Which moves you more - bringing your kid to the first day of kindergarten or  clapping for your kid as he or she finishes college?

Seeing the afterwards - the aftermath - is often a great feeling. Tasting the aftertaste is often tastier than the first sip.

I love to see a crowd of people with aprons on - tiredness on their faces - sweat half circles on their t-shirts in the armpits - sitting in a parish hall - laughing - somewhat slumped over from a good tiredness - after the dinner they served is finished and all have gone home happy - but this gang is still there - happier - even though they know there will be still some cleanup - after pulling off a great parish celebration.

AFTERWARDS

Afterwards has its rewards - and delicious aftertaste.

It can also lead to the bitter and to a backpack of regrets on one’s back.

The reason for the better or the bitter - is often found in the input or lack of input.

I remember when playing basketball in high school. I was very far from the best - but I know I would practice hundreds of shots from the point where the foul line hits the curve of the paint. I’d shoot 100 practice shots on the right side and then I’d practice 100 shots on the left side - and repeat that depending on how much time I had. Then in a game that’s the spot where I would head for a quick 2 pointer jump shot. And I would smile if it went in.

I love the Larry Bird story about him being the hardest worker on the Boston Celtics. When Bird was playing, I heard about a rookie who had told  this from his coach in college. So when he went to play in the Boston Garden for the first time, he went very early - and there was no Larry Bird.  He sat there disappointed. Then sitting there he heard, “Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.” Someone was running around way on the top of the Boston Garden - around and around and around.  Sure enough, the rookie discovered it was Larry Bird when he came down to the court to start doing his practice shots - before the rest of the team arrived.

I remember in baseball I would get a tennis ball and during class or boring this or that, I would squeeze that tennis ball over and over and over again - so as to be a good wrist hitter. I was a slow runner - but I hit above average for singles up the middle - or to just over the infield - to left or right field depending on the pitch - inside or out.

So too in Latin - I would write words out on scrap paper - over and over and over again - till they were me. I forgot that I did that - till someone reminded me of that recently. I smiled when I heard that.

I remember when I worked in a retreat house in New Jersey on the ocean and a big storm ripped the whole boardwalk apart. I reset and rearranged the foundation to get it right - and then nailed that down. Then I laid the ripped off boards down one by one  - and I found myself for about 4 months - every afternoon - at 4 PM - laying board by board on the frame foundation. As I banged new nails into those boards I would be saying to myself, “Board by board the boardwalk is built.”

So too in reading a book or writing a book, “Page by page the book is read.” “Page by page, the book is written.”

I’ve planted lots of grass seed in my time - having been a lawn man in the seminary for 10 years. Jesus says in today’s gospel “This is how the kingdom of God is; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and through it all the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how. Of its own accord the land yields fruit, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once, for the harvest has come.”

 I don’t know how grass seed works, but I found out, if you want grass, you have to do the work - and plant the seed - and make sure it’s watered.

However, Father Joe Krastel was telling me the other day about one of our priests in Denver. He planted grass seed - lots of grass seed - but he wasn’t getting a lawn. The guy got changed. A new guy came and he heard that grass wasn’t growing in their yard.  He contacted the local department of agriculture and asked, “What kind of grass seed grows here in Denver and what kind doesn’t?”  He got the right kind of grass seed and when the former pastor came back he saw the lawn and asked, “How did you get grass to grow in the back yard?” and the other guy said, “You gotta get the right seed.”

I didn’t know that - but I do now.

There are mysteries in life - and there are things we can learn about life.

I love the Jesuit principle of discernment from St. Ignatius. If something works, more; if something flops, less.”

Ignatius would add, “If you think about it, sometimes we curse the difficult, like exercise - but when we do some difficult things, looking back, afterwards, we realize hard work works, and laziness doesn’t.”

So too raising kids. So too a marriage. So too relationships. So too getting an education. So too keeping up a house. So too health.

I have often heard people say, “Half of marriages break up.”

I have also heard, “Check out why some marriages make it and why some marriages fail.”

I have heard that the 3 most important rules for a marriage to work are, “Communication, communication, communication.”

I’ve heard that Father Patrick Peyton was right, “The family that prays together, stays together.”

I’ve also seen families where so called “prayer” drives people away from true prayer and our true God.

Practice makes permanent, so a team or a family or a marriage needs to have good practices.

How many people who planted seed or a tree - ruined the plants by overwatering?

How many people hated prayer and religion, because of overprayer.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Afterwards.”

Yes, there are mysteries.

Yes, sometimes there is luck.

Yes, sometimes kids turn out bad, even though we gave it our best shot.

But in general, if we’ve lived enough life, afterwards we’ll  know that hard work and doing life with a smile and love, works. Amen.

This week in preparing for a 50^th Anniversary, I’ve been looking at my life.

In this homily I’ve done just that on this issue of life results and realize now - afterwards - that I have been blessed.

I suggest you do the same.