Monday, June 15, 2015

June 15, 2015

MIRROR, MIRROR??

While walking down the street,
I spotted a mirror in a garbage can.

I walked by it. 

“Wait a minute!”

I walked back and took it in my hand.
I dare not stare at myself on the street -
but maybe when I get home. 

When I got home I looked myself in the mirror.
 I looked myself in the eye.

“Wait a minute! 
I’m not ready for such inside gazing.
Maybe one of these years.”

I walked outside and put it in my garbage can.

It wasn’t there the next morning. I wondered, “Will it work it’s way around town -
or will someone discover themselves today
and hang the mirror on their wall 
and end these personal selfies?"

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2015


Sunday, June 14, 2015


THIS  IS  GOOD  ENOUGH 
FOR ME


[If you want to see and hear this homily on vimeo hit: https://vimeo.com/130981440

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for is, “This Is Good Enough for Me.”

Some priests ask another priest to preach at their Anniversary Mass.  Sorry!   I wanted to say some things myself - on this occasion. It allows me to avoid a roast or a toast. I wanted to look at my life and thank you and so many others - as well as God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - for so many blessings.

Once more the title of my homily is, “This Is Good Enough for Me.”

OPENING IMAGE

I was wondering - if every family has a private joke - a specific saying - that everyone says - at family meals - or what have you - when a specific behavior happens.

Ours is, “This is good enough for me.”

I was telling someone this and they said their family saying was, “NS Sherlock,” when someone says the obvious.

NS! Obviously if you don’t get that, I can’t explain it in church …. But as Father Tizio says - with his Brooklyn Italian accent - especially when someone doesn’t get one of his puns, “Think about it!”

Here’s the story where our family comment comes from. When we were kids, our mom told us a story about when she was a young woman. She was working as a cook - a maid - in Boston for this rich family: the Brandt’s. This one evening they were going to have  a big dinner. My mom made a 7 layer cake. It was off to the side  - on a side board  - the pièce de résistance - the dessert for the end of the dinner.

Before the meal began this guy headed right for the cake - with knife and plate in hand - getting ready to cut himself  a nice slice. My mom spotted the turkey and went over to stop him. She said, “There’s plenty of food over there on that table!” and he says, ‘This is good enough for me.”

We all laughed and without knowing it, in time we found ourselves often saying that saying when about to eat something delicious. With fork in hand - with cake or prime rib on that fork - with a smile on our face, someone would announce - holding up their fork, “This is good enough for me.”

MY LIFE

A Golden Jubilee is a good time to look at one’s life - one’s wonderful memories and moments like this and say,  “This is good enough for me.”

In O. L. P. H. grammar school, a Redemptorist priest came into our 5th grade or so classroom and told us about what it was like to be a missionary priest in Brazil. I don’t remember all the details of that moment - whether he had pictures of priests on horses going into the wilderness to say Mass and baptize and marry people. But I do remember that this Redemptorist priest - the priests in our parish - asked us, “Who of you would like to be a priest.”

I raised my hand.

Years later I read in Father Andrew Greeley’s autobiography - Confessions of a Parish Priest - that he raised his hand in a similar situation - but it was in the 4th grade - and he added, “I never took my hand down.”

At times people ask, “When did you decide to become a priest?” and I used to be embarrassed to say, “5th grade.” When asking kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I found out that kids often have an answer at a very early age and some say, “I have no idea. I’m just a kid.”

I’ve visited many classrooms - especially when I did many, many parish missions, I discovered that 79.5% of grammar school girls who have pets want to be veterinarians.  I heard that my grandnephew Sean came to the Naval Academy to see the Blue Angels as a kid. It worked. He graduated from the Naval Academy  in 2013. Right now he’s in Pensacola, Florida - training to work in navy planes - but not the Blue Angels. Wouldn’t that be a great bragging right?

I’ve also been asked, “Why did you  become a priest?”  I’d tell people that I wanted to be a foreign missionary priest since I was a kid - like many Redemptorists in our Baltimore Province wanted to be.

So I went to a minor seminary for high school, then college, our novitiate, finished college, then finished 4 years of theology in our major seminary.

With an eye on Brazil, in December of 1966 after finishing up our final four months of training here in Annapolis, surprise, I found out the night before our first assignments, that I wasn’t going to Brazil like 4 of my classmates did.   I wasn’t going to be able to say: “This is good enough for me.”

Fast forward. Looking back now at all that has happened since then I’m saying today, “This is good enough for me.”

ANNE ARUNDEL MEDICAL CENTER

Last year - some moment - like 2:35 in the morning - I’m driving up Bestgate Road to get to the hospital. I was on duty and that means I had the duty phone on a small night table next to my bed.

The phone rang - woke me up. A nurse said that someone was dying and the family wanted a priest. I jotted down the info and got going.

I threw my clothes on and threw water on my face. I’m driving fast to the hospital and thinking, “I wish they called last evening or yesterday - because that would mean Father Flynn or Father Krastel would have seen the person. Those two characters are fabulous to be with because they cover the hospital weekdays and weekends  and into the evening  and it makes it easier - much easier -  for the rest of us. Thank you Joe and Pat.

As I turned left off Bestgate and onto Medical Parkway, an insight hit me. I’m talking to myself, saying, “Wow! Great! Next time when someone asks me why I became a priest, I’ll answer, ‘So that some folks will have  a priest, when they want a priest, at 2:30 in the morning.’” I’ve heard many priests say about being a priest, “The reason I entered is different than the reason I stayed.” I’m sure all of you who are married have said the same thing.

I’ll also add,  if you want a priest at 2:30 in the morning - make sure it’s not early, early, Thursday morning - because I’m on duty 8 AM Wednesday morning till 8 AM Thursday morning. Smile.

As I look back at lots and lots and lots of moments like that in the past 50 years, I’ve said without thinking, “This is good enough for me.”

Like all the priests here at St. Mary’s and all the priests I’ve met and lived and worked with, we know the many, many experiences that we pinch ourselves for being there.

In time, I got over my disappointment in not going to Brazil.

In time, I got to experience many wonderful moments - many of which got me to say, “Now I know why I’m here.”

Ann Marie who works the window and the phone at St. Mary’s said to me recently, “When I die,  I want to ask God about the What if’s?”

I had never heard that comment or wondering before - about what if’s. Then she said, “I think I’m going to then say, “Thank you God, for the What wasers!”

I love a comment by Alfred Lord Tennyson in his poem, Ulysses, “I am part of all that I have met.”

I am part of my mom and dad - their seed and egg that became me - and my brother and my two sisters. I’ve been often told that I look like my dad and I have his smile - and I’ve noticed in family photographs that my feet point outwards like his did. I have their Catholic faith which they brought from Ireland. I heard their stories. We are family. Stress on we.

MEMORIES

I remember a moment when I was a little kid. I was in the sunporch of our house. My dad was sitting on his green vinyl chair in the corner reading the newspaper - and I was simply paging through some of my father’s books - on a bookshelf.  I opened up one of his favorites - a brown covered book, entitled, Best Loved Poems of the English Language.

There on some page in the middle of the book was a rose petal - dried and dead. I had never seen such a thing before. I walked over to my dad carefully - with the book opened and the rose petal - lying like the bread on the gold plate on our altars at  Mass.

“Daddy,” I asked, “what’s this?”

“What’s what?” he said as he put down the paper.

He looked at the rose petal. He picked it up carefully. A great smile came on his face. He said one simple word, “Memories!” That was good enough for him - with his explanation for a moment of his life.

POET

I like poetry - and I don’t know if I got that gift from my dad or what. I do have memories of him reading a poem now and then to us.

Thank you daddy for all you gave us - and also mom and family - and my sister Mary. I’m the youngest of four. Sorry Mary - for possibly giving away your possible age. We’re the last two. And lately we’ve been revisiting our childhood.    Memories.

In time,  I’ve found out that Jesus was a poet and a story teller. So thank you Jesus for all your poetry and all your parables.

As you know - Jesus said the same of the prophets - especially Isaiah, “Thank you for your parables and your poetry.”

We heard poetry and parable in today’s readings in the image of a tree. Each tree has to start small - as a seed or a seedling - before it can become a majestic cedar tree on a high mountain - the image in today’s first reading or the image of a lowly mustard tree in one’s back yard - the image in today’s gospel.

WHAT’S GROWING IN OUR BACKYARD OR IN OUR BACKGROUND

At a 50th Anniversary - one pauses to see what’s growing in one’s garden.

I once gave a talk in Reading, Pennsylvania -  in a park - in a band shell - up on a stage - and they told me there was 15,000 people there that evening. With the lights shining across a pond in front of that stage - I could not see anyone’s face in the dark - people from many parishes in that area - celebrating the Eucharist in memory of St. John Neumann and his work in that part of Pennsylvania in the 1850’s.

As I stand here today - looking out at your faces - I see you. We’re not in the dark. It’s nice to have met you - and gotten to know some of you - and to wonder what’s growing and going on behind your eyes - and in the plot of your brain - called you.

As I stood there with you at times - I hope your felt welcomed - wondered about - and loved. If I seemed cold or distant at times, please forgive me. I’d love your mercy - a theme I’m hearing this pope being off on. I mentioned in a homily just this past week - that this pope said, “No sticks! Stop beating others with your sticks - as well as stop beating on yourself.”  Hopefully, you’re experiencing a forgiving church - and forgiving priests - and forgiving Christians - a forgiving self - rather than a judging one.

As I close my eyes I often see in the dark - many, many, many faces in all the places I’ve been assigned - and I’ve worked in, Wisconsin, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Maryland, etc. etc. etc.

I hope in the Masses we celebrated and prayed together in and with Christ, we experience the basic Christian meal called the Eucharist

I hope in my homilies you’ve heard more Jesus than me - and I hope in my blog and in my books and poems and magazine articles,  you’ve heard down to earth contact points with God - as real as bread and wine - and once and a while - as elaborate as a 7 layer cake.

CONCLUSION

And I hope afterwards - you’ve say to yourself  - many times - about your life and your memories, “This is good enough for me.”
June 14, 2015

SELF TEST # 17 
SPOTTING PEOPLE

Whom do you spot,
when you look at people?
Do you spot only large people,
or short people, or thin people?
What do your answers to
these questions say to you
about you?


© Andy Costello, Reflections 2015
Paintin by Botero, "The Nap"
Sculpture, "Piazza" by Alberto 
Giacometti 

Saturday, June 13, 2015


THE  IMPORTANCE  OF  
AFTERWARDS 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 11th Sunday in Ordinary Time, B, is “The Importance of Afterwards.”

One of life’s greatest blessings is afterwards.

It can also be one of life’s greatest curses: afterwards.

I prefer the positive to the negative - hope to fear - blessings more than the curse - dreams more than nightmares - great memories over arthritis.

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings trigger this thought of afterwards.

The first reading from the prophet Ezekiel talks about a small cutting or shoot from the top of a cedar tree - being cut - and then being planted on a high mountain and in time - afterwards - it puts forth branches and becomes a majestic cedar tree.

The second reading from St. Paul’s 2nd Letter to the Corinthians talks about walking by faith - not by sight. We don’t see the future, but we still walk towards the afterwards by faith - in hopes of a great harvest.

The gospel talks about planting seed. When we plant seed, we plant with hope - with a vision of the afterwards: a field full of wheat - a vineyard full of delicious grapes - a table with wonderful  bread and wine. 

We also hear in today’s gospel, Jesus telling us about a mustard seed being the smallest of seeds - but afterwards it becomes a large mustard plant - with large branches - with birds enjoying the shade under those leaves.

And hot dog! Hot dogs taste much better with good mustard.

WHICH MOVES YOU MORE?

Which moves you more - a picture of a baby or a picture of 28 people - a family -  on a back porch steps - celebrating their grandparents - 50th Wedding Anniversary - and all are smiles.

Which moves you more - pushing and politicking and protesting for a great playground in a neighborhood without any - or three years afterwards seeing it packed with kids - on swings - on climbing steps - a sand box - running paths and parents talking with each other off to the side?

Which moves you more - learning how to knit or crochet or sew or coming to the last stich of a finished blanket or quilt or needlepoint?

Which moves you more - bringing your kid to the first day of kindergarten or  clapping for your kid as he or she finishes college?

Seeing the afterwards - the aftermath - is often a great feeling. Tasting the aftertaste is often tastier than the first sip.

I love to see a crowd of people with aprons on - tiredness on their faces - sweat half circles on their t-shirts in the armpits - sitting in a parish hall - laughing - somewhat slumped over from a good tiredness - after the dinner they served is finished and all have gone home happy - but this gang is still there - happier - even though they know there will be still some cleanup - after pulling off a great parish celebration.

AFTERWARDS

Afterwards has its rewards - and delicious aftertaste.

It can also lead to the bitter and to a backpack of regrets on one’s back.

The reason for the better or the bitter - is often found in the input or lack of input.

I remember when playing basketball in high school. I was very far from the best - but I know I would practice hundreds of shots from the point where the foul line hits the curve of the paint. I’d shoot 100 practice shots on the right side and then I’d practice 100 shots on the left side - and repeat that depending on how much time I had. Then in a game that’s the spot where I would head for a quick 2 pointer jump shot. And I would smile if it went in.

I love the Larry Bird story about him being the hardest worker on the Boston Celtics. When Bird was playing, I heard about a rookie who had told  this from his coach in college. So when he went to play in the Boston Garden for the first time, he went very early - and there was no Larry Bird.  He sat there disappointed. Then sitting there he heard, “Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.” Someone was running around way on the top of the Boston Garden - around and around and around.  Sure enough, the rookie discovered it was Larry Bird when he came down to the court to start doing his practice shots - before the rest of the team arrived.

I remember in baseball I would get a tennis ball and during class or boring this or that, I would squeeze that tennis ball over and over and over again - so as to be a good wrist hitter. I was a slow runner - but I hit above average for singles up the middle - or to just over the infield - to left or right field depending on the pitch - inside or out.

So too in Latin - I would write words out on scrap paper - over and over and over again - till they were me. I forgot that I did that - till someone reminded me of that recently. I smiled when I heard that.

I remember when I worked in a retreat house in New Jersey on the ocean and a big storm ripped the whole boardwalk apart. I reset and rearranged the foundation to get it right - and then nailed that down. Then I laid the ripped off boards down one by one  - and I found myself for about 4 months - every afternoon - at 4 PM - laying board by board on the frame foundation. As I banged new nails into those boards I would be saying to myself, “Board by board the boardwalk is built.”

So too in reading a book or writing a book, “Page by page the book is read.” “Page by page, the book is written.”

I’ve planted lots of grass seed in my time - having been a lawn man in the seminary for 10 years. Jesus says in today’s gospel “This is how the kingdom of God is; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and through it all the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how. Of its own accord the land yields fruit, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once, for the harvest has come.”

 I don’t know how grass seed works, but I found out, if you want grass, you have to do the work - and plant the seed - and make sure it’s watered.

However, Father Joe Krastel was telling me the other day about one of our priests in Denver. He planted grass seed - lots of grass seed - but he wasn’t getting a lawn. The guy got changed. A new guy came and he heard that grass wasn’t growing in their yard.  He contacted the local department of agriculture and asked, “What kind of grass seed grows here in Denver and what kind doesn’t?”  He got the right kind of grass seed and when the former pastor came back he saw the lawn and asked, “How did you get grass to grow in the back yard?” and the other guy said, “You gotta get the right seed.”

I didn’t know that - but I do now.

There are mysteries in life - and there are things we can learn about life.

I love the Jesuit principle of discernment from St. Ignatius. If something works, more; if something flops, less.”

Ignatius would add, “If you think about it, sometimes we curse the difficult, like exercise - but when we do some difficult things, looking back, afterwards, we realize hard work works, and laziness doesn’t.”

So too raising kids. So too a marriage. So too relationships. So too getting an education. So too keeping up a house. So too health.

I have often heard people say, “Half of marriages break up.”

I have also heard, “Check out why some marriages make it and why some marriages fail.”

I have heard that the 3 most important rules for a marriage to work are, “Communication, communication, communication.”

I’ve heard that Father Patrick Peyton was right, “The family that prays together, stays together.”

I’ve also seen families where so called “prayer” drives people away from true prayer and our true God.

Practice makes permanent, so a team or a family or a marriage needs to have good practices.

How many people who planted seed or a tree - ruined the plants by overwatering?

How many people hated prayer and religion, because of overprayer.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Afterwards.”

Yes, there are mysteries.

Yes, sometimes there is luck.

Yes, sometimes kids turn out bad, even though we gave it our best shot.

But in general, if we’ve lived enough life, afterwards we’ll  know that hard work and doing life with a smile and love, works. Amen.

This week in preparing for a 50th Anniversary, I’ve been looking at my life.

In this homily I’ve done just that on this issue of life results and realize now - afterwards - that I have been blessed.

I suggest you do the same.



June 13, 2015

COVENANTS

Long before we hear the word, “covenant”,
long before we hear the word, “contracts,”
we have them - that our dad will be there
this evening - that mom or grandma will be
there after the game or practice to take us
home and  if we hint, hint, at times they 
will bring us and our best friend for ice cream.
We know down deep that our mom and dad -
are a lean against - especially when scary
is in the air - that they are like those enormous
black painted iron anchors - with black
chains included. And when that doesn’t
happen - no matter what the name of our
ship is - it doesn’t matter. It’s called,
“Disappointment.” And when some preacher
or religion teacher talks about covenants
with God, we don’t get it, we won’t get it,
because we didn’t experience the primary
covenants that were not drafted in our home.


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2015

Friday, June 12, 2015

June 12, 2015


AFTER A WHILE

After a while,
nothing is what
we thought
it would be.

After a while,
no one is who
we thought
they would be.

After a long while
when it comes to us,
we find out it takes twice
the amount of time for
ourselves to know ourselves.

© Andrew Costello, St. Mary’s 2015



Thursday, June 11, 2015

June 11, 2015

COMPROMISE

Compromise can be a crusher -
because now - not only I don’t
get to do everything I wanted,
but I have to live with the idea of having
to do some of the things you wanted.

Compromise can be a pleasure -
because now - not only do I get
to do some of things you wanted,
but I also get a chance to do
some of things I wanted.


© Andy Costello, Reflections 2015