TWIN RIVALRY
[This is a story I
wrote last night for today’s Sunday Morning 8 AM Kids Mass. Today is the
feast of the Baptism of the Lord.]
Talk about Sibling Rivalry – take Jack and Jill - as an
example.
Jack was born 6 minutes and 7 seconds ahead of his twin
sister Jill. Once they were old enough to start to realize what words and who
was ahead of whom meant – Jack let his twin sister Jill know he was the older
brother – the oldest of the twins – born 6 minutes and 7 seconds ahead of his sister Jill.
At their birthday – every year on January 1st -
New Year’s Day – Jack got to make the birthday wish first – and then to blow
out the candle first – Jack being the oldest.
Jill - underneath the singing of the Happy Birthday song
– would say, “It’s not fair. It should be my turn every other year to blow out the candle on our
birthday cake.”
Besides this - Jack was always the bigger and stouter
baby – always at least 10 pounds heavier than his twin sister Jill in their
first 10 years of life.
And all through their growing up years – Jack was the
pushy one – pushing Jill out of the way to sit on the couch – to be next to
their dad or mom – or in the car or the house or at the dinner table first –
and what was on TV.
Speaking about pushing – Jack’s mother often said, “Jack
had to be first one out of me when they were born. Obviously Jack pushed Jill out of the way and made it to the
finish line first.”
Jack knew how to get his way. He pushed for all the
rights and privileges that came with being first and oldest. He often began and
ended any and every argument with the words, “After all I’m the oldest!”
One day – near Thanksgiving – Jill at the age of 5 – was
crying. She was all by herself – off in the corner in this small room in the
back of their house.
Her grandmother
was worrying where she was. So accidently – but on purpose - her grandmother
just happened to spot her all alone – in this quiet little room in the back of their
house. Grandma came into the semi-dark
room – came up to Jill and said, “Can I sit with you for a while?”
Silence!
Then Jill said, “Okay grandma!”
“What’s with the tears Jill? What’s with the tears?”
Then Jill really broke down – and her grandma held her
even tighter.
Then her grandma said it again, “What’s with it with the
tears?”
Silence.
Then Jill poured out her heart to her grandmother. She
told her grandma about all the hurt she
felt from Jack – always bragging that he was the oldest.
Then Grandma said, “Well you know you were baptized ahead
of your twin brother. You know that - right?”
“What?” said Jill.
“You were baptized ahead of Jack – and your baptism date
is more important than your birthday.”
“Who told you that,” asked Jill?
“Everybody knows that Jill. Everyone knows that?”
“And I better tell you,” said her Grandma, “how do I know
this? I was there and I suggested to your mom and dad you that you be baptized
first. Ladies before gentlemen – that’s how I was brought up.”
Silence.
“And your mom followed my advice. And after all, I’m the
oldest.”
And they both laughed – and laughed – and laughed.
Well, then at Thanksgiving dinner, Jill says to Jack,
“Grandma just told me that I was baptized ahead of you – and baptism is more
important than birth.”
At that, of course,
Jack disagreed with his grandma – and told her, “Grandma everyone knows
that a birthday is more important than one’s baptism. No contest.”
“Nope,” said Grandma, “and you’ll find out you're wrong and I'm right when you start
studying religion.”
That Sunday – after Mass – in the back – Jack went right
up to their pastor and asked, “Father Jack, which is more important, your birthday or your
baptism date?”
“Jack, sorry to disappoint you, but your baptism is more
important than your birth. You’ll find this very easy to see when you study about baptism in
Religious Ed classes.”
Jack disagreed with Father Jack as well.
When he started to study about all this in Religious
Education classes – he remained stubborn, stubborn, stubborn – convinced that
priests and grandmothers and religious education teacers – were wrong.
Well time goes on and NCIS had become Jill’s first and
favorite TV show – but she had to watch it in that little room – with a tiny TV
in the back of their house.
Well time goes on even more – and Jack and Jill go off to
college – but to different colleges.
Jack went off to college – with the secret hope of one
day becoming a Nascar driver.
Jill went off to college with the hope of one day become
a forensic scientist for the FBI – or the State Police – of for some agency
like NCIS.
One day she was part of a team who were investigating a
terrible small plane crash – in which 36 people were killed.
Agent Jill noticed one woman who was killed was a twin.
“Interesting,” she thought.’’
They didn’t have any fingerprints of the woman who was
killed – so maybe., Jill said to herself, “Maybe she was born in some foreign
country.”
So she checked around and sure enough she checked around
and found out that the woman who was killed was born in Thailand. Surprise she found that she and her twin
brother had foot prints taken when they were babies.
She was able to get the woman’s footprints – along with
her twin brother’s footprints – along with the exact – time of birth.
Jill smiled and thought – I wonder if I can get Jack and
my time of birth.
After the plane crash case was over, Jill went to the
hospital of her birth and was able with her badge get into the hospital
records.
She found her footprints – along with Jacks.
Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. There it was in black and
white – Jill was born first 6 minutes and 7 seconds ahead of her brother. She
was the oldest. She screamed a loud
“Wow!” and everyone in the record department stood up to see what had happened.
Jill was waving a paper with her foot prints – and her
brother Jack’s in the other hand – and yelling, “I am the oldest twin.”
Nobody knew what that meant – but Jill did.
Then surprise, surprise, she called up her mom and dad,
to tell the news – but then she added, “Let’s not tell Jack – it would only
deflate him. Let him always think he’s the oldest.”
And for the rest of their lives, Jack and Jill's parents thought how big their oldest daughter, Jill, was.. They would wink to her and smile to her - whenever at some family celebration, Jack would announce to all, "After all, I'm the oldest."
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