REVENGE AND GRUDGES 

SHORTEN ONE’S LIFE 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Revenge and Grudges Shorten One’s Life.”

And we can add, “If we act out - and lash out at others -  they can also shorten another’s life.”

Stress! Stress! Stress! 

I’m addressing STRESS in this homily - the stress that comes from revenge and grudges.

If you’ve been watching what’s going on in Kiev in the Ukraine, you have to be thinking, there is going to be long term consequences.

Those who have lost loved ones - shot by snipers - those who have been beaten by police - and vice versa - you have to realize - this will not be short term.  There are consequences. 

That’s over there. Over here in our own hearts and minds - the title of my homily is, “Revenge and Grudges Shorter One’s Life.”

TODAY’S READINGS

I had some time yesterday  to look at the readings for this Sabbath - and this theme of revenge and grudges is being stressed and expressed.

Today’s first reading from Leviticus 19: 1-2, 17-18 talks about hatred for a brother or a sister. Not good. It continues with being aware of consequences -  if we take time to talk to each other about the ugly stuff. In other words, be careful of the boomerang effect. Hatred is hot stuff and when talking about hurts and hatred - we can get burnt. Sin can singe.

Be aware, beware, of backlash.

Then in Leviticus 19: 18 we have these words we heard a few moments ago: “Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against any of your people. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”

I looked up the Hebrew for revenge and grudge - and I discovered there’s word play going on here. TIQQOM is the word for revenge. TITTOR is the word for grudge.

So beware of TIQQOM and TITTOR - and to make a play on words and letters -  they can be TNT - explosive.

And I hope this sounds familiar because in general the First Reading each Sunday is connected to the Gospel for that Sunday. The middle reading usually goes somewhere else. The Gospel is the anchor. We move through a different Gospel in Ordinary Time - every 3 years - Matthew, Mark and Luke. This year we’re doing Matthew.

So today’s gospel from Matthew’s Sermon on the Mount talks about hatred and revenge. TIQQOM and TITTOR - in Hebrew - I don’t know what the words are in Aramaic - the original language, the language of Jesus - but I would guess they are close to that.  It talks about retaliation - and how knocking out the other persons eye or tooth because that was done to us - isn’t the way to go.[Cf. Matthew 5:38-46]

Mouth and eyes - knocked out teeth and poked out eyes - only the beginning of the harm revenge and grudges can do to our bodies and our being.

Then Jesus gives his radical way to stop the wars and the fighting. It’s called, “The way of non-violence.”

The history of the world tells us this is not the way of governments - nor most protesters - down through our histories.

Jesus is radical, He tells us to turn the other cheek. Go the extra  mile. If someone wants your Redskins or Ravens or Nationals or Orioles jacket, give them your hat as well.

The only way to stop the hatred and revenge is to stop it in ourselves.

I assume we can’t stop it on the scenes we see on the TV screen, but we can stop the ugly retaliations at work in conversations - or pay back times in marriages and family life and in parking lots and on lines.

I would assume the first step would be awareness - spotting revenged and grudges - and it’s impact on our bodies and our lives.

RABBI JOSHUA BEN  HANANIAH

I looked up this big fat book I once bought for $75.00 - called “The Book of Legends” Sefer Ha - Aggadah - Legends from the Talmud and the Midrash".  Years and years ago a really smart scholar told me: “Let me give you the name of  the  book to buy!” And I went looking for it and found a copy of it in a Jewish Book Store in New York City.

If I have time - and I want to do some extra research - I pull it off my shelf.

For today’s text I got my money’s worth - that $75 dollars worth. I don’t know if you will think that - but I do.  I got the title and thought for this homily from Rabbi Joshua Ben Hananiah.

He was a rabbi from around 131 CE - we who follow Jesus would say - A.D. - He said the following about Leviticus 19: 18: “A grudging eye, the evil impulse, and hatred of his fellow men shorter a man’s life.”

Then I noticed the following [compare this to what Jesus says in today’s gospel - it’s roughly from 100 years before and 100 years after Christ]:

“We have been taught: What is revenge, and what is bearing a grudge?  Suppose A said to B, ‘Lend me your sickle,’ and B replied, ‘No.”  Then the next day, B said, ‘Lend me your ax,” and A replied, ‘I will not lend you’re the ax, just as you did not lend me your sickle.’ That is taking revenge.  And what is bearing a grudge?  Suppose A said to B, ‘Lend me your ax,’ and B replied, ‘No.’  Then the next day, B said, ‘Lend me your undershirt,’ and A replied, ‘Here it is. I am not like you, who would lend nothing to me.’  That is bearing a grudge.’”

I found that very interesting. I assume then when Jesus uses the world cloak - he would be familiar with these comments in the Talmud and Rabbinic literature.

CONCLUSION

That’s back then - just as the fighting around the world - is out there.

This Sunday’s readings should bring us into our world - the spaces and places we spend each day - especially daily living with each other.

The title of my homily is, “Revenge and Grudges Shorten One’s Life.”

When you feel revenge and grudges grumbling inside of you - pause. Feel your face - feel your body - feel your hands - especially when they are clinched. Realize similar contractions are happening inside our minds and hearts and insides - causing consequences - which shorten our life - the message of this homily. Amen.

GIGI

[The following is  a  story for this morning’s Children’s Mass.  The readings were from the 7^th Sunday in Ordinary Time. The 1^st Graders did the readings and the prayers and brought the gifts up to the altar. The theme chosen for the Mass was: Fill Our World With Love.]

Once upon a time there was this really neat dog - a Chocolate Labrador Retriever - named, “Gigi!”

Now, everybody loved Gigi. Everybody! She was THE perfect dog.

Her owner - believe it or not - was a first grader named Patricia - but nobody called her Patricia.  Everyone called her “Patsy!”

Patsy and Gigi - went everywhere together - except when Patsy had to go to school.

Luckily Patsy’s mom and dad - and Patsy - an only child  - lived just two streets away from Patsy’s school.

Well, sometimes Gigi got bored or lonely - or was really missing Patsy, so she would slip out of the back yard and walk the 2 streets to Patsy’s school.

Gigi  would  then park herself - on the other side of the fence that surrounded the playground that was right next to the school. Gigi would sit down in a nice comfortable spot under her favorite tree. Then she would bark just one bark - one simple solitary bark - to let Patsy know she was there.

At first - during recess - the teachers didn’t like it that a dog was sitting there - just sitting there - all alone on the other side of the fence. The dog was not doing anything - except  making sure Patsy was all right - and letting Patsy know she was there and she was missing her.  

Of course, right away Patsy’s good friend Jeannette, told the teacher not to worry or call the police - about the dog.  Jeannette  simply said, “That’s Gigi. She’s Patsy’s best friend and the sweetest dog in the whole wide world.”

Then Jeannette added, “You gotta love her!”

Now if you knew this dog, it would come as no surprise, that Gigi was soon invited into the playground with the kids and the teachers. Everyone loved to hang around this neat Chocolate Labrador Retriever - named “Gigi”.

This dog was not stupid. The more people who knew her - the more treats she got - and as  anyone who knows Labrador’s, they know Labradors  love to eat - and they can put on weight and become really big dogs.

Of course Gigi wasn’t worried about weight - she was worried about treats and making sure Patsy was okay.

Gigi knew her priorities: Patsy and food, food and Patsy.

Now what none of you know - is the amazing story - history - of this dog and her owner Patsy.

So here’s the rest of the story ….

Gigi wasn’t always called Gigi.

She was called “Dog” - and her owners had two dogs in a rundown part of town - and the other dog they had was also called, “Dog!”

The family kept both dogs in a fenced in yard - in the back of the house - never taking them for walks or giving them treats or what have you.

The family was a mom and a dad and 3 teen age boys. And these three boys were always getting into trouble in school and in the neighborhood.

Whenever their parents or teachers or the police gave these 3 boys a correction or a yelling at, they would often take it out on their 2 dogs - especially the Chocolate Labrador Retriever. They would kick her. They would make fun of “Dog”.

Dog 1 and Dog 2 were tied by  leashes to a tree. It’s then the 3 boys would hit the dogs  with sticks and throw rocks at them.

Well Dog 1 - a mutt - cowered - and became quite quiet. He would just sit there - whenever possible - to avoid the sticks and stones.

Dog 2 - the Chocolate Labrador Retriever reacted differently. She growled. She growled every time the boys were mean to her. As a result, somewhere along the line, they changed her name to just that, “Growl!” - especially because she would go, “Grrrrrr!” to the boys and show her teeth.

Well “Growl” growled so much - especially in the middle of the night - that the neighbors would call the police - who would come - and shine flashlights in the night on “Growl” till she would quiet down.

Well, one night Growl was growling so much that the police woke up the owners and told them they have to quiet down their dog.

At that the father of the 3 teen age boys said to the police, “If you want her, you can have her.”

And the police wrote that down in one of those small spiral pads they keep in their shirt pockets.

The next day the people from the Animal Shelter were there to take the Chocolate Labrador away.  On the way out, they asked the 3 boys, “What’s the dog’s name?”  And all three said together with a grrrrrrr, “Growl.”

Well, that put Growl in her new home - the Animal Shelter.

There - instead of growling - she would sulk and hide in the back of her cage.

One of the attendants said, “I wouldn’t call her “Growl”. I’d call her “Grudge.”  She looks like so  angry with the whole world.

If the attendant at the Animal Shelter  only knew about those three boys and how they treated Growl, he would know say, “No wonder she spends her time in the back of her cage.”

Well, people would come to the Animal Shelter - to look at possible dogs to bring home and care for.

But when visitors saw the face and the look of Chocolate Labrador Retriever - nobody wanted her. She always looked so, so, so sad.

By her own behavior and her own action - she herself changed her name from Dog to Growl and now to Grudge.

Then the day came when Patsy appeared. She came to the shelter with her dad.  Mom and dad kept trying to have kids and they were not coming. They tried to adopt, but they found out that was too expensive. So they decided to get a dog for Patsy.

As soon as Patsy saw the Chocolate Labrador Retriever she fell in love with her at first sight.

The attendant said, “Little Girl, you don’t want this dog. Her name is Grudge. Look at how sad she looks. And we heard her name before that was Growl. So would you want a dog named Growl or Grudge?”

And Patsy said, “Of course I want her - and her new name will be Gigi - a combination of those two G’s - Growl and Grudge.”

Patsy knew big words.

And that’s how Gigi got her name.

Now, how did she become such a neat dog? That’s obvious. Patsy gave her dog a lot of love.

Her grandma - who came every Sunday afternoon for dinner - after her husband, Patsy’s grandfather died, upon seeing Gigi for the first time said, “Patsy…. That’s a Chocolate Labrador Retriever. They are wonderful dogs. Make sure you give her lots of love and she’ll give you lots of love in return.”

Then her grandma paused for a moment - and then said, “Love and niceness always works with dogs, too bad it doesn’t always work with people.”

Then her grandmother paused again.

Then she said, “Well,” as Jesus said, “Love your enemies. Go the extra mile. Turn the other cheek.”

Then looking at Gigi - and hearing where her name came from, Patsy’s grandmother concluded, “Practicing Jesus’ words would surely help people move from growls and grudges to lots of love. Amen.”

TEACHING KIDS TO READ

Poem for Today - February 23, 2014
Black History Month

THE FIRST BOOK

Open it.

Go ahead, it won’t bite.
Well … maybe a little.

More a nip, like. A tingle.
It’s pleasurable, really.

You see, it keeps on opening.
You may fall in.

Sure, it’s hard to get started;

remember learning to use

knife and fork?  Dig in:

you’ll never reach bottom.

It’s not like it’s the end of the world -

just the world as you think

you know it.

© Rita Dove

About This Poem:

Rita Dove told Bill Moyers the following about this poem: "I was shocked when I visited some classes at my daughter's school and realized that many kids were afraid of reading, and reading wasn't a joy for them and that  somehow they were afraid they were going to fail at it - they're much more adept with computers and other electronic media - so 'The First Book' is abouit encouraging someone to discover the joy of reading."

Page 119 in Bill Moyer's, The Language of Life, A Festival of Poets.

DON'T CRUSH 

ANOTHER'S DREAM! 

Poem for February 22, 2014
Continuing Black History Month

DREAM DEFERRED

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

© Langston Hughes

TALK IS CHEAP

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 6^th Friday in Ordinary Time  is, “Talk Is Cheap!”

We have heard that message all our lives - and we’ve said that all our lives.

How many times have we heard dozens of people describe someone else: “He talks a good talk - but he’ll never do anything about it.”

How many times have we said the following - in loud - silently - inside our brain: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard you say that before.”

Then we add our own little twists of the message - like, “The proof is in the pudding.”  The proof is in the emptied dish washer.  The proof is the garbage taken out. The proof is in the cleaned garage and the washed car for the other.

It’s a theme in the folk wisdom of every culture.

I didn’t have time this morning to look up Aesop’s Fables and see if he has a fable with this as the moral of the story: “Talk is cheap!” - but probably.

TODAY’S FIRST READING

We have - as they say - the heart of James’ message in today’s first reading.

James says: “We say to another. ‘Best of luck. Stay warm. Hope you get something to eat.’ Then we do nothing.”

He’s saying: “If that’s our song and dance - and we say or think we have faith - we’re kidding ourselves.”

Faith is footwork. Faith is time consuming. Faith costs. Faith calls for action - service.

We’re aware of kids saying, “I was just about to do it,” but they never do,  do it.

So that’s James’ bottom line: “Faith without works is dead.”

Mouth without follow up - is hot air.

 TODAY’S GOSPEL

Isn’t that what Jesus is saying in today’s gospel?

His message is giving: Giving one’s life. I like it when we use the word “time” - giving one’s time - bummer.

I don’t know about you - sometimes the phone drives me crazy - because it usually means - someone wants me - and that means time and many times I tell myself, “I just don’t have time.”

Well, what else does Jesus mean but that - when he said in today’s gospel,

“Whoever wishes to come after me

must deny themselves
take up their cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save their life will lose it,
but whoever loses their life for my sake
and that of the Gospel will save it.
What profit is there for one 

to gain the whole world
and forfeit their life?
What could one give in exchange for their life?”

Jesus says that 100 different ways.  

For example, in the Parable of the Good Samaritan, the 3 who bypassed the man who needed help on the road, had their reasons in their mind - why they couldn’t help the man who was beaten up. 

So another word for gospel is inconvenience.

CONCLUSION

So we come to Mass to hear the secret of life. It’s dying to self. It’s giving one’s body, one’s blood, to others. It’s saying to everyone - Here I am take me - and then letting people take our time and presence.

Or as Mother Teresa told her nuns, “Let the people eat you up.”

Or as Nike says it, “Just do it.”

FAMILY

Poem for Today - February 21, 2014
Continuing Black History Month

THE IDEA OF ANCESTRY

Taped to the wall of my cell are 47 pictures: 47 black
faces: my father, mother, grandmothers (1 dead), grand-
fathers (both dead), brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts,
cousins (1st and 2nd), nieces, and nephews.They stare
across the space at me sprawling on my bunk.I know
their dark eyes, they know mine.I know their style,
they know mine. I am all of them, they are all of me;
they are farmers, I am a thief, I am me, they are thee.

I have at one time or another been in love with my mother,
1 grandmother, 2 sisters, 2 aunts (1 went to the asylum),
and 5 cousins.I am now in love with a 7-yr-old niece
(she sends me letters in large block print, and
her picture is the only one that smiles at me).

I have the same name as 1 grandfather, 3 cousins, 3 nephews,
and 1 uncle. The uncle disappeared when he was 15, just took
off and caught a freight (they say).He's discussed each year
when the family has a reunion, he causes uneasiness in
the clan, he is an empty space. My father's mother, who is 93
and who keeps the Family Bible with everbody's birth dates
(and death dates) in it, always mentions him. There is no
place in her Bible for "whereabouts unknown." 

© Etheridge Knight

HERE AND HEREAFTER

poem for today - February 20, 2014
Continuing Black History Month

An Old Jamaican Woman

Thinks About the Hereafter

What would I do forever in a big place, who

have lived all my life in a small island?

The same parish holds the cottage I was born in, all 
my family, and the cool churchyard.

                                                       I have looked

up at the stars from my front verandah and have been afraid

of their pathless distances. I have never flown

in the loud aircraft nor have I seen palaces,

so I would prefer not to be taken up high nor

rewarded with a large mansion.

                                                        I would like

to remain half drowsing through an evening light

watching bamboo trees sway and ruffle

          for a valley-wind,

to remember old times but not to live them again;

occasionally to have a good meal with no milk

nor honey for I don’t like them, and now and then

          to walk

by the grey sea-beach with two old dogs and watch

men bring up their boats from the water.

                                                          For all this,

for my hope of heaven, I am willing to forgive my debtors

and to love my neighbour ...

                                      although the wretch throws 
stones at my white rooster and makes too much noise 

in her damn backyard.

                                                © A. L. Hendriks

A. L. Hendriks: ‘An Old Jamaican Woman thinks about the Hereafter’ from On This Mountain and Other Poems (Deutsch). Reprinted by permission of the author.

Picture found on line.