JOYS AND SORROWS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Joys and Sorrows.”

The title was just “Joy” - till the news out of Connecticut on Friday.

TODAY IS JOYFUL SUNDAY

This Sunday we celebrate Joyful Sunday - Gaudete Sunday - the half way point in Advent.

We heard in the first two readings and the Psalm  the theme of joy and rejoicing, giving thanks. We also heard the theme of motive for rejoicing: it’s new life - change - and we heard this especially in today’s gospel -  with the preaching of John the Baptist - to various groups.

This morning a question: On a scale of 1 to 10 am I a joyful person? 

I think I’m usually a 9 or a 10 on that. So I think I am a joyful person.

However, others have a voice, a vote, about that vote. They have to deal with me. Each of us experiences each of us.

Everyone has to ask at times: “When I walk into a room, do I get a ‘Yes’ - an ‘Oh good’ vote or an ‘Oh no!’ vote?”

That’s an “Uh oh!” if I get an “Oh no!” vote.

And if I give myself an, “Oh no” vote when it comes to being a joyful person - being a person who  brings joy to the world - when, where and how can I change?

CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE

I like to say that everyone has the following experience I once had. I’m playing stickball as a kid on 62^nd Street in Brooklyn, New York and the pink Spaldeen ball goes into the man up the streets front yard. He’s sitting on the stoop. He won’t let us get it. He’s a grouch. What happened? I’m standing there watching him yelling at us kids and I say to myself, “I don’t want to be like that when I grow up.”

Each of us has to ask, “Have I?”  I think everyone has that kind of an experience and I hope everyone chooses to be a joyful person. Have I?

A CHRISTMAS CAROL - BY CHARLES DICKENS

I saw A Christmas Carol again Friday night put on by the Colonial Players of Annapolis - up at the Colonial Players theater on East Street.  Once more there were lots of little kids there. Did any one of those kids consciously or unconsciously decide, “I don’t want to be like Scrooge  when I grow up.” Once more I had to look at myself and ask: “Have I become a Scrooge?”

As I looked around the theater - before the play - which they put on every other Christmas -  I noticed lots of little kids. It’s an every other Christmas event for some families. This time it was extra significant - because I noticed all the little kids there.  It was just like these kinds of kids who were killed on Friday in Sandy Hook School in Newtown, Connecticut. A prayer, “Oh my God, no!”

I was doing what millions of Americans were doing - aware of little kids a lot more - since the shooting. Last evening I got an e-mail from a friend of mine in Ohio. She wrote, “Today - Saturday -  I went with Marilyn and her family - including her 3 year old granddaughter Phoebe - to see the Toledo Ballet/Symphony perform ‘The Nutcracker’. Most of the dancers were professionals, but they did incorporate around 20 children dancers from the Toledo area. It was delightful. I enjoyed it so much. But, a few times, when the young children were dancing, I thought of the little ones who lost their lives yesterday in Connecticut, and the tears began again.”

Life like the rosary beads has the sorrowful mysteries along with the joyful ones. I prefer joy.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK

We come to Sunday Mass and in our moments here - 50 to 60 minutes -  we do what the Sunday morning talk shows do. We look back on our week and we look forward to a new week.

How was your last week? What would it sound like to each other on a Sunday morning talk show? What are your hopes for this week - 9 days before Christmas?

To practice what I preach, I looked back on last week.  

Last Sunday night we went out to dinner - Date night - as a community to Adam’s Ribs. We toasted Father Blas who was leaving on Tuesday morning for home - for Paraguay - to celebrate his 25^th Anniversary a priest. Nice. It was joyful. He was looking forward to seeing his brother Gustavo who was recovering from cancer. That was sorrowful.  We find out when the bill came, someone paid for it. Woo. Thankful. Nice.

I was on duty - and no calls came when we were in the restaurant. Good. The Giants had won that day. It was joyful.  I was rooting for the Ravens to beat the Redskins - which would help the Giants. It wasn’t meant to be. I learned long ago not to let sports results dominate my spirit. I made that decision when the Baltimore Colts beat the New York Giants way, way back, in 1958 - in Sudden Death - 23-17. Bummer. I was stuck in a convent that day in Scranton, Pennsylvania visiting my sister Peggy a nun. And there was a TV set in the big room we were sitting along with lots of families. Bummer. I didn’t find out they lost till we got back home to Brooklyn. That got to me. Somewhere along the line I said, “I won’t let that sap my spirit like that ever again.”

I got a call to the hospital that night - a lady was dying of cancer. I anointed her and I prayed with her for her - along with her family. She said, “I’m ready!”  Translation: I’m ready to go home to God. It was a sorrowful moment for me - triggering more sorrow than joy.  Each of us is our own translator of life’s moments.

Early Monday morning I got another call to get to the hospital - a baby was dead - stillborn. The duty guy is on till 8 AM. This was 6:35 AM. That was a sorrowful mystery. Why God? Why? 33 weeks old. We prayed. I baptized the little girl Alexa - and prayed with and for her parents - and grandmother. A sorrowful - sorrowful mystery.

I found out when I got back from the hospital last Monday morning that Father Blas had just found out that his brother Gustavo had died. Ugh. That was a sorrowful mystery. What would that be like planning on flying home on Tuesday morning to celebrate - and to see one’s family - and to find out on Monday morning - one’s brother had died.

I had Mass with the whole St. Mary’s high school on Wednesday.  It was a wonderful Mass. The psychic energy - was calm and mellow. Sometimes the kids seem so elsewhere. Sometimes they seem noisy and upsetty. Last Wednesday morning it was a joyful - prayerful Mass. Mystery. Mystery. Mystery.

Thursday morning I was at the School of the Incarnation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation - confessions. They had lined up 8 priests - so that made it easier to hear all those confessions. The kids come face to face. The kid walks over to one of the priests who is sitting there and the kid sits. We begin with a greeting and a sign of the cross. Kids sins are mentioned and a penance is given. I usually ask the kid to do something nice for mom or dad or brother or sister. Then there is the pardon and absolution prayer and Go in Peace.

I think this way of confession is much better than we were kids - going into the box and sometimes making up numbers and sins. I like it that a little kid has the experience of talking to an adult for a moment and you can see their face picturing moments - usually at home - talking back to parents, skipping homework, fighting with siblings - Amazing they use a word like “sibling”. I never had siblings when I was a kid. I had a brother and 2 sisters.

A thought hits me. I see a kid’s face. Is this the kid for life? A smile? A worry? Joyful? Sorrowful? What will become of this child? I pray that the kid has a great life. Since they are mentioning a moment when they did a negative, a so called “sin”, I like to ask, “What are you good at? A sport? A subject in school? Soccer. Social studies. Music. Lacrosse.

I drive back to St. Mary’s after a second session with the kids after lunch and get back just before school gets out: a joyful moment.

Friday I turn the radio on while driving back from the 12:10 Mass and hear the first sounds for me - about the horror in Connecticut.

People will want us clergy to pray for the kids and the folks up there and parents and teachers everywhere.  People will want us to say something that helps. Uh oh!

Translation: will they be angry when we say, “Horrible. Don’t know what to say. Scary? Terrible”?

I see the last name of the killer. Sounds Catholic. Always wish that our faith would challenge and help us not to make such horrible decisions - do such horrible actions.

Want to know motive - like the rest of people.

Want to say: presidents cry. I cry. God cries?

Could say: there is evil in life - in people.

Could say: there is sickness in people - craziness - mixed upness.

Could say: there is sorrow in people - as well as joy.

Could ask: does Christmas really mean - Christ’s Mass - and does each Mass - or at least Christmas Mass have any impact on the lives of those who are there?

Could say: Joy is the echo of God within us - as someone put it.

Could ask: if that is true, does sorrow mean, God is absent - from the minds and hearts of some people?

Yes at times. That night in the garden and that afternoon on the cross Jesus screamed, “My God, my God, why have your forsaken me.”

Felt some joy last night when that priest, Monsignor Robert Weiss up there in Newtown or close by spoke some words that this is horrible and we just need to be with each other in moments like this.

Recalled one of my lifetime learnings: “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.”

As someone said on TV last night: at a moment like this, some people need words - some people need silence. What do you need? If it’s silence, take some good walks this week. If you need words, talk and listen to each other. Communion with Christ doesn’t just mean 5 minutes here in church on Sunday morning.

CONCLUSION

Christmas is coming. It’s going to be different in the lives of a lot of people this year because of this tragedy.

Christmas comes every year - and every year we sing, “Joy to the World the Lord Has Come.”

And Jesus keeps coming into a world where are plenty of moments of sorrow and moments of joy - and hopefully most of us choose to be people who bring joy to our world - at home - at work - at school - on the roads.

Each week - each day - we have lots of experiences - and it’s our choice to bring joy, light, hope, a good word to that experience.

Each newspaper has good news and bad - its  announcements of births and deaths, victories and defeats, ads and arrests, cartoons and crossword puzzles - along with Sudoku.

Our move. Of course tragedies kill us. Ugh. Every death is our death. As John Donne [1572-1631] the preacher and poet said, “Every time that bell tolls it tolls, don’t ask for whom? It tolls for thee.”  We are all related toe each other. We are all God’s children. We are all sisters and brothers - siblings. Hopefully, we will be resurrection, hope and joy to others as well. Hopefully we hear Jesus’ call to us to “Go into the whole world and bring Good News to others. Amen.”

LOVE EQUATED 

WITH JOY, BUT .... 

Quote for Today - December 16, 2012

"I wonder why love is so often equated with joy when it is everything else as well. Devastation, balm, obsession, granting and receiving excessive value, and losing it again. It is recognition, often of what you are not but might be. It sears and it heals. It is beyond pity and above law. It can seem like truth."

Florida Scott-Maxwell, The Measure of My Days [1972]

VIOLENCE

Quote for Today - December 15,  2012

"To whom can I speak today?
Gentleness has perished
And the violent man has come
down on everyone."

From, The Man Who Was Tired of Life, c. 1990 B.C., translated by R. O. Faulkner

EITHER OR - 

LIGHT OR DARKNESS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Either Or - Light or Darkness”.

That’s the thought that hit me this morning - when working on a homily for the Feast of St. John of the Cross - today December 14^th.

SOME PEOPLE

Some people don’t like “Either Or’s”. They like one’s. They like singular answers. Some people like variations. There’s more than one way to skin a fox. There are options.

We have a family story. We were in a restaurant with my mom somewhere along the line and she ordered salad and the waitress asked, “Blue Cheese, Vinaigrette, Russian, or Thousand Island?” And she said, “Yes!”

It didn’t make any difference to her. She would put on her salad whatever dressing she pulled out of the refrigerator at home - or put two or three on - depending on the amount left in the bottle or what have you.

JOHN OF THE CROSS

John of the Cross preferred the Apophatic Approach to God - that is the removal of all images. There’s a whole tradition in spirituality about this approach. The opposite is the way of light - the way of images - the way of pictures. It’s called the Kataphatic Approach.

So John of the Cross wrote about the Dark Night of the Senses and the Dark Night of the Soul.

Either Or or Both And can bring us to God.

Sometimes we experience God when looking at a great sunrise or sunset.

Sometimes we experience God in the deep dark of the night. You might have heard the often quoted words of F. Scott Fitzgerald: “In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning.”

Sometimes when we can’t sleep, we turn to God.

Sometimes people only experience God or come to a God awareness moment when they lose everything - and they are in the dark about what’s next. A spouse dies. A spouse leaves for a younger partner. Kids go haywire. A home is lost in a storm or fire. Someone is fired.

Sometimes we experience God in the midst of light - and joy - and celebration. I was just sitting there at Thanksgiving in this big, big room that had all kinds of sections. I was off to the side - before the big dinner - and there were about 30 people in that big, big room, laughing, playing cards, playing Boggle, playing Scrabble, - all in different areas. A few were just talking. There  was laughter and joy everywhere. I was  thinking: all these people are here because my brother met and fell in love with Joanne, my sister-in-law. Thank You God. Thank You.

Either - Or - we can meet God.

Good Friday is good - so too Easter - so too Christmas - so too Advent.

CONCLUSION

In today’s gospel - Matthew 11: 16-19 -  Jesus goes after the Pharisees. They are not happy whatever Jesus does. If he would call for fasting like John the Baptist or if he was having a great meal, either way they would be unhappy. They are like kids in the market place. You sing a sad song, someone complains. You sing a joyful song, someone complains.

Life is morning and night, the joyful, sorrowful, glorious and light bearing mysteries. Someday when I’m made pope, maybe I’ll propose that we have the dark bearing mysteries as well?

OOOOOOO

Pictures and Paintings

On top: Interior of Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, Spain - 2011.

Near Bottom: Drawing by John of the Cross of the Crucifixion and  then the famous Corpus Hypercubus [1954] by Salvador Dali - inspired by the drawing by John of the Cross.

OYSTERS

Quote for Today:  December 14,  2012

"It is unseasonable and unwholesome in all months that have not an r in their name to eat an oyster."

William Butler [1535-1618], Dyet's Dry Dinner [1599]

HAPPINESS

Quote for Today - December 13, 2012

"Happiness is a great love and much serving."

Olive Schreiner

Questions: Whom do you love and whom do you serve? Are you happy?

???????

LIFE TIME QUESTIONS

"Does everyone have lifetime questions?"

That’s one of my lifetime questions.

Somewhere along the line kids start asking questions.

Listen to kids and you’ll be listening to questions: “How come?” or “Why?” or “When?”

Look at the faces of babies. They hear a noise, They turn towards where the sound comes from.  At what point, long before words, does the baby’s face say, “What is that?” or “What was that?” or “Who are you?” Babies squint. Babies make faces - sometimes in the shape of a question mark. Babies seem to be asking questions long before they can talk. “When are we going to eat?” “When are you going to notice me?”  “When are you going to hold me?”

Listen to little kids as they start to grow. You’ll here more specific questions like: “How come she gets to stay up later than me and I got to go to bed?” “How come he gets a bigger piece of the pie than the piece I got?”

Is the most basic question: “How come life is unfair at times?”

Sometimes we get answers to our questions.

Sometimes we continue with the same basic questions all our life?

Sometimes we come up with new questions?

“How come she gets all the attention?”

“How come the rich get richer?”

"How come there is suffering?"

“How come he or she doesn’t see the way I see?”

“How could so and so be a Democrat and so and so be a Republican?”

“After all I did for you, how could you do that to me?”

“Why do people stop listening to what I have to say?

“Why do people walk away from me?

“Is everyone down deep lonely?”

“When am I going to die?”

“Will I ever accomplish anything?”

“Will I ever finish something?”

“What difference does it make?”

“What difference will I make?”

“How much does it cost?”

"Does everyone have lifetime questions?"

"If they do, are they aware of them?"

"Does anyone else ask this question or questions along this line?"

One of my lifetime questions is: “Motive?” 

I’ve been asking that question ever since I was a little kid.

“Motive?”

Then I go through my basic list of possible motives on why so and so did so and so or say what they said? Why? Why? Why?

What are the basic motives?

Is this a good list of basic motives: Fear? Shame? Ashamed?  “That’s why I lied. I was ashamed.” Insecurity? Security?  Hunger?  Love?  Attachment? Addiction? Guilt? Selfishness? Me. Myself. And I. I put myself first every time. Greed? Lust? Pride? Laziness?

When I’m watching NCIS or a detective show on TV or the movies, I’m asking what the investigators or the detectives are asking, “Motive?” Once we establish a motive or possible motives, we start looking for people who could have that motive.

"What does it profit a person, if they gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of their soul?” 

Great question by Jesus.

So motive has always been one of my lifetime questions.

So maybe that’s why I loved the moment in a college philosophy class  that I was taking and the professor was talking about Existentialism and he said, “I’m writing on the board the world’s shortest poem. It’s two words and they rhyme: 

                      'I 

                      Why?' 

I’ve never forgotten that. It’s a life time question. And I used it many times in sermons like this.

And I wrote the world’s second shortest poem. It also rhymes: 

                    “You 

                     Who?”

“I / Why” “You / Who” are two lifetime questions - that everyone asks all their life. We want to know who we are. Why do I exist. What am I to do with my life? We also want to know who the other people are in our life: friends, dates, teammates, family?

What are your life time questions?

This question was triggered by another one of my regular lifetime questions.

When you go into a Catholic Church like this one,  you always find at least one statue or picture of Mary the Mother of Jesus. Why? We have the statue of Mary up there above the tabernacle - above the center of the old altar. If you were a Buddhist or Taoist or Confucian and you were never in a Catholic Church before, would you want to know what that statue represents?

Every Catholic Church usually has one image of Mary. We have 2 - the one above the old altar and the one off to the side there - over there - Our Mother of Perpetual Help. What is that all about?

If you went into a Protestant Christian Church - other than Anglican - you most likely wouldn’t find such images of Mary. Why? Why not?

And this church and this parish is called, “St. Mary’s.”  And all the stained glass windows up there show images of this woman. “Why?” “What is that all about?”  “Motive?”  “You / Who?”

I’ve been asking that question for some 65 years now. It started when I was an altar boy as a kid. I’d see people praying at shrines and statues and images of Mary. Why? When I was a kid I used to also be a candle boy at our church, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, in Brooklyn, N.Y. People would come into church, light a candle drop a coin into the box and move on. Why? Motive?

I’ve heard lots of answers. Lighting a candle is a prayer that stays here burning for me after I’m gone. It’s a tiny sacrifice. I put my money in. The candle burns - disappears to itself - giving some light - as it dies.

I particularly thought of this question of Lifetime Questions this morning - because today the Catholic Church - especially in Mexico and the United States, and other countries of the Americas celebrate the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Why the following? What’s that all about?  Why are there other churches and shrines all around the world dedicated to Mary: Lourdes, Fatima, Czestochowa, Chartres, Medjujorje, and Guadalupe?

What is that behavior, that energy about?

I’ve been asking that question all my life.

One answer is that God is concerned with women and children - two people who are often treated up till the last century as nothing. Mary and her baby Jesus are often sculpted together - and we come and pray with and for all mothers and all their children.

Another answer is that mothers are central to life. All through our lives they represent security and home - and so we come to church for a feeling of security and home. 

I love the definition of home: “the place where they have to take you in.”

Does Mary represent God - who takes us in?

Do mothers represent God - who takes us in?

Do we all need all our lives - the comforting presence of our Mothers - living and dead - as well as the womb of a church?

Does Mary represent that God welcomes all people - especially the little person - like Juan Diego - as well as all native people? Amen.

OOOOOOOOOO

[This was a question type homily I preached this morning to St. Mary's High School - December 12, 2012]