MARRIAGE - 

THE PROMISE 

TO COMPROMISE 

Quote for Today - September 11, 2012 

“Getting along with your wife is like passing a car on a narrow road - you both have to give.” 

Germain G. Glidden [1913-1999]  

SAME WORDS - 

DIFFERENT MEANINGS

Quote for Today - September 10. 2012  

“It’s all in the ear of the beholder.” 

Tom Hayden [1939- ], Boston Globe, September 24, 1979

EPHPHATHA! 

BE OPENED!

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 23 Sunday in Ordinary Time B, comes from today’s Gospel, “Ephphatha! Be opened.”

As you know Mark tells us what the Aramaic word, “Ephphatha” means: “Be opened.”

Some people are deaf. Some people can’t speak. Some people are blocked. Some people are stuck. Some people are not free.

And Jesus says to all people, “Ephphatha! Be Opened!”

It’s the same message we hear from the Book of  Isaiah the prophet - whom we know Jesus read - clearly when he opened up the scriptures in the synagogue at Nazareth in his inaugural address.

THE OTHER GUY

The obvious thing everybody does is to want the other person to change - the other guy or gal to be open - and they don’t see the plank or log jam in their own eye - in their own person - in their own self - as Jesus pointed out.

We have our list of  people we want to see change. I am on some people’s list. You’re on some people’s list. We’re all on someone’s list.

And remember the line in the song in Gilbert and Sullivan’s Mikado, “I’ve got a little list…. I’ve got a little list - of society offenders - who never will be missed.”

And on our list  - under the name each of the persons we want to see change - we have a list of the things about them that we would like them to change. How they speak. How they don’t seem to hear. How they act or don’t act. How they behave.  To us, the other person is deaf or mute or dumb. They don’t listen. They don’t see. And when they speak, they are dumb - just plain stupid.

To get a lot out of the Gospel for today, we have to see that I am the deaf man with the speech impediment. It’s me. It’s not the other person. It’s me. And the prayer for today is to beg Jesus to heal me.

It’s the old message we have heard a dozen times, “Be aware when you point a finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing back at yourself.

And in the Gospel for today, Jesus takes the man off by himself - away from the crowd - and puts a finger into the man’s ear and then Jesus spits, touches the man’s tongue, looks up to heaven, groans, and says, “Ephphatha!” that is, “Be opened!”

And the man’s ears are opened and his speech impediment is removed and he speaks plainly.

Here I am Jesus. Stop! Do this for me! This is my prayer for today.

THE KID IN THE RETREAT HOUSE

Once upon a time there was a kid - named Jack - who did dishes in a retreat house where I worked. He  was deaf as a wall. And when he spoke, he yelled difficult to understand garbled language. As a result, he was difficult to be with. He was avoided.

I have a life observation: strange rangers are avoided. The more they are avoided - the stranger they become. The stranger they become, the more they are avoided. And on and on and on. It’s a vicious circle.

In warm weather, when the basement windows to the retreat house  kitchen were open, you could hear Jack banging dish trays on the stainless steel table runway that led to  the dish washer - as well as hear him yelling - and yelling very loudly. He couldn’t hear himself, but we could.

People avoided him. People found him difficult.

In that same kitchen doing dishes, was his brother Danny who did not have those handicaps his brother had.

Whenever I read today’s gospel I think of Jack - the brother with the handicap. Did the man in the gospel have the same problems as Jack?

During my time there - two moments stand out with regards this kid.

The first moment was a high school retreat for girls. After lunch when they were having a break some of the girls looked in the open window down into the kitchen and spotted the two brothers doing the dishes. They had eyes only for Danny - no eyes for Jack. 

Unfortunately, Jack thought they were looking through the window at him and he told a few of us that he loved it - that the girls found him good looking and they were staring at him. His brother Danny said nothing.

After the two brothers finished the dishes  - and the kitchen staff put things away - sometimes they would gather outside if the weather was nice and sit on some benches and just chew the fat.

I noticed that Jack was always by himself - at least 15 to 20 yards away from the kitchen staff. His social skills were minus 10 to say the least.

I wasn’t listening to today’s readings that day. To be honest, it was much easier being with normal people - so that’s who I was standing with as a group of girls came up the macadam road towards us.  They spotted Danny - the hunk - the good looking brother. They went over to him to see him up close and personal. Hey it was a retreat without boys.

It was a crushing moment for Jack. He realized  the girls were not interested in him at all. I saw him slam his hand into a tree and he ran inside - down into the kitchen.

We had this old 91 year old priest. He loved to work on the lawns. Want to make it to 91, rake lawns. Keep moving. His nick name was Teddy. I spotted him about 100 yards away. So I went to Teddy and told him what happened to Jack - he had to turn up his hearing aid at first. He put his rake up against the tree and went down the steps to the kitchen basement to find Jack and talk to him. And that he did.

To me it was like Jesus going to the man in today’s gospel and healing him. Teddy and Jack could talk. I had noticed that - and it was good for both of them. Teddy brought a smile back to Jack’s face.

The second thing that happened to Jack was the operation. He went to a specialist in a hospital in New York City and they put some wires into his head  and he had to wear an electronic pack on his side. Slowly he learned to hear and translate basic sounds - and his face was amazing when he could hear sounds now - and he slowly learned to hear and to speak better.

Imagine being a doctor, imagine being a technician and you are able to get a person to hear and to speak for the first time. Imagine being a doctor and you help a person see for the first time because of  a new invention that has some kind of new breakthrough? Imagine being a speech therapist?

That’s the story of someone else - who was able to learn how to speak better and to hear a bit. What about me?

TODAY’S SECOND READING

Today’s second reading brings this looking at self stuff into sharper focus. It’s from the Letter of James.

James writes about what he sees in his local community. 

What do we see in our community, our parish, our Mass - this 7 AM Sunday Mass - with it’s regulars - and with some strangers - where do we hear this second reading hitting home with an ouch.

James writes, “My brothers and sisters, show no partiality….”

I don’t know about you, but I’m guilty about partiality over and over and over again.

James tells us about his community - a man comes in with gold rings and fine clothes and a poor person in shabby clothes also comes in, don’t we all pay more attention to the rich man?

James says that we make distinctions about people. He says we judge.

He’s writing all this so that we can see that we can be closed to some people - because of their age, weight, color, clothes, accent, affiliations, mannerisms, you name it - James is challenging us to be open.

He’s saying to his community what Jesus said, “Ephphatha - Be opened.”

CONCLUSION: SOME HOMEWORK

This week be open to one person you would ignore. Do it  because you heard today’s readings and you know Jesus is talking to you: Ephphatha: Be opened.”

LISTENING  #12

Quote for Today  - September 9, 2012

"Be careful what you say before a wall,
as you cannot tell who may be behind it."

Sadi, Gulistan: Rules for Conduct, Number 12

LET IT GO!

Quote for Today  September 8,  2012

"Women and elephants never forget an injury."

Saki [Hector Hugh Munro 1870-1916]



Questions:

Do elephants really remember?

Do men ever remember?

Do elephants forgive?

Does anyone forgive and forget?

Do men cry?

COMPARISONS:

THE OLD AND THE NEW

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 22 Friday in Ordinary Time is, “Comparisons: The Old and the New.”

Today I’d like to briefly reflect upon three things: comparisons, the old and the new.

We think and deal with all three every day.  

All three  have their pluses and their minuses.

All three have an, “It all depends.”

TODAY’S GOSPEL

I thought about all three as I read today’s gospel [Luke 5: 33-39].

The Scribes, those who could write, the educated, and the Pharisees were always finding fault with Jesus didn’t like his “new!” They compared what he was saying with their “old”.

They weren’t happy campers.

So Jesus gives a great comparison. Look at people faces at a wedding and look at people’s faces when it’s a religious season of fasting. Compare faces. My disciples are celebrating life. I’m the bridegroom and this is a time of celebration.

Then he talks about new cloaks and old cloaks.

You don’t cut a piece off a new cloak to patch an old cloak.

Nope! Old goes with old and new with new. You find that out when you wash either.

It’s the same with wine: there’s new wine and there’s old wine. There’s new wineskins and there’s old wineskins. Don't mix them up - otherwise you'll have leakage.  Old people in old skin must have laughed when Jesus said this!

I don’t know wine, but I’ll accept what Jesus is saying.

THE NEW AND THE OLD

How are you with the new and with the old? For starters the answer has to be, “It all depends.”

For the sake of transparency, I’m old. I’m 72. Do us old folks tend to favor the good old days and keep saying, “It ain’t like it used to be”?

I prefer a new car to an old one. I’m not into collecting antiques.

I like the new High Definition TV monitors. I don’t like the new translation of the prayers into English.

When I go out to eat, I like what I like. I remember going on vacation in the late 60’s with my mom, dad, and my sister Peggy. We went out to a restaurant every evening - 6 nights straight. 6 nights straight I got veal parmesan. I like veal parmesan - and I was comparing how it came out in 6 different restaurants.

Somewhere along the line I also discovered Cobb Salad - so if I see that on the menu, that’s what I’ll get.  Cobb Salad has a plan: bacon bites, bacon bites, bacon bites, hard boiled egg slices - ummm!

Some people when they eat out get the same thing every time; some people listen to the waitress or waiter giving the house specials - and often risk taking something they have never had before.

COMPARISONS

A beautiful woman walked into a room and I said to her husband, “Who’s better looking: this gal or your wife?”  He paused, smiled and said, “No comparison.”

Perfect answer.

Let me go deeper than skin.

Comparisons can crush. Comparisons can challenge us to move it and be more creative.

We can miss out on a decent veal parmesan meal or Cobb salad, because we’ve tasted better.

We can sit there in traffic or at a dull sermon, because we’re comparing what we’re experiencing with the best or a traffic free trip.

Do people with long faces - non-looking like they are at a wedding faces - crush themselves because they are comparing being in the present moment with a non existent other moment?

A wedding is not a funeral.

Be where you is, because if you be where you ain't, then you ain't where you is. 

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Comparisons: The Old and The New.”

Take a few moments when you have a few moments to reflect upon these 3 realities: comparisons, the old and the new.

Compare your life to the life Jesus calls us to. Compare both. Feel the call to the New and go for it. And in time, the New will become old hat. Amen.

TROUBLE

Quote for Today - September 7, 2012

"Oh, a troubles's a ton, or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it,
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only how did you take it."

Edmund Vance Cooke [1866-1932], How Did You Die? Stanza 1