RELATIONSHIPS

- FRIENDSHIPS

The therapist asked a simple question.
It was her favorite - because it always
told her so much: “Tell me
the name of a best friend?”


Silence….


So she asked it another way: “Tell
me the names of the 5 best friends
you had in your life?” She added,
“When I was in school someone said,
‘If you have 5 friends in your lifetime,
you’re lucky.’ So think for a moment
and tell me the names of 3 or 4 or 5
friends you’ve had in your lifetime?”


Silence ….


She was sort of frustrated - so she
became silent for what seemed
a long, long time. Actually it was
only 3 minutes. Then she asked,
“Looking around at the people
you are with every day, do you
notice any close friendships?”


Silence ….


She decided to say nothing - till he
said something - but nothing was said.
She thought to herself: “This is the
first time I ever had a bishop in
for counseling. Does he really
not have any friends?”


Silence ….

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2011

RELATIONSHIPS:

FATHER and DAUGHTER

Isn’t life amazing? Isn't life interesting?


There are not just mountains and oceans,
rainbows and rain, water skiing and snow skiing,
there are also relationships: mom and dad,
nana and pop, mother and daughter shopping,
a father and a son having a catch.


Yet, we don’t stop enough to see a snow flake
sticking to a window pane - or the rain running
down the clear glass - or the shape of one French fry -
compared to all the others on our plate -
just resting there next to our hamburger.


Worse, still, we don’t stop to look each other
in the eye - enough. Oh, we did it when the baby
was a baby - rubbing noses and wondering
what’s going on inside those eyes - in that brain.


Harry Chapin has a song I love, “Tangled Up Puppet”.
It’s about a father and a teenage daughter.
For one moment he says, “Playing tag in the yard
I caught you off guard!” For one moment
they looked each other in the eye. More.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2011

DESIRE

Quote for Today - November 10, 2011

"Lord,
grant that I may
always desire more
than I can accomplish."

Prayer of Michelangeo [1475-1564]

Painting on top: The Last Judgment by Michelangeo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni. It can be seen in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican. It took 4 years to complete [1537-1541]

WORRYING

November 9, 2011

Quote for Today


"When I look back on all the worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened."

Winston Churchill  [1894-1965]

THE READINGS

AT OUR FUNERAL

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 32 Tuesday in Ordinary Time is, “The Readings at Our Funeral.”

Two things triggered the thought for this homily. I think I preached something on this topic in the past, but I’m not sure just what I said. Who remembers homilies? Smile!

Today’s first reading triggered this thought - because most of it is part of a reading in the paperback pamphlet people are given at the time of preparing a funeral for a loved one. When I heard it, it triggered jumbled memories of dozens of funerals when today’s first reading was read at the funeral Mass. [Cf. Wisdom 2:23 to 3: 9.]

The second experience that triggered this thought was a funeral we were at yesterday afternoon at 2 PM up in Stella Maris, Timonium, Maryland, for one of our priests.

MY TURN

It was my turn to do some thinking about what music - what readings - I’d like at my funeral.

In the past two years at funerals, I’ve found myself saying that the most important homily and most important thing to think about at a funeral - is what’s going on inside one’s own mind and heart during this funeral. Then I add, “I assume it’s thoughts about your life and relationship with the person who died and then one’s own thoughts about one’s own life and death.”

So I first thought about Jack Smyth - the priest who had died. I was in the seminary with him all through our school years. He was in the class ahead of me. Then I was stationed with him for about 6 years in the late 80’s into the early 1990’s. He was a strong - unique - hard working - priest - who could make quick funny takes on life.

Then I began thinking about my own funeral.

The readings sounded like they were not picked by Jack - but both the first reading and the gospel fit in well with Jack’s life. And Father Joe Krastel preached a faith filled homily about Jack’s life - using the story at the end of the Gospel of John - where Mary is standing under the cross of Jesus with John. [Cf. John 19: 25-27]

So is it better for someone else to pick the readings - especially the family because they know the person who died - and /or the preacher if he knew the person who died?

For music I’d like "Simple Gifts" - the Appalachian Spring piece - played. I asked Harry Thomson if that could be done and he said, “Yes.” Then he added, “I hope you’re not planning on dying.” I said, “I hope not. I would like at least 15 more good years of life and ministry.”

To practice what I’m preaching this morning, let me mention my possible choices for readings. I’d certainly pick Psalm 130 - because it contains the Redemptorist motto - "Copiosa apud eum redemptio" - “With him there is fullness of redemption” - but it also pulls together the Redemptorist message of forgiveness and mercy for all - especially for anyone who is in the depths of worry or in the pits of doubt or sin.

For a first reading I’m still not sure. Maybe I’d pick the story of Joseph near the end of the Book of Genesis because he was a dreamer - and he ended up providing bread for the starving and I love handing out Jesus the Bread of Life. Or maybe I’d pick one of the servant sections or songs in Second-Isaiah - where deserts bloom, mountains leveled, valleys are filled in, rivers flow, so God can come in power to redeem his people. I like Irish blessings which often have rich images from nature - and I find that kind of poetry and imagining in Isaiah especially. [Cf. Genesis 41: 46-49 or Genesis 43: 24-34; Isaiah  49:8-16a or Isaiah 55: 1-5 or Isaiah  55: 6-13.]

For a gospel, I might pick just one sentence in the gospel of John - 10:10. It’s actually only the part of that verse, “I have come that you might have life and that you live it to the full.” That would be enough - because I want to live life to the full and God has certainly given that gift to me so far. Or I might pick Jesus washing our feet in John 13 - where Jesus does just the opposite from today’s gospel - where the master has his feet washed and he’s served. Nope,  Jesus fed and washed feet. [Compare John  13: 1-20 with today's gospel, Luke 17:7-10]

CONCLUSION

You? What music and what readings would you want? If you have favorites, write them down and hand the info to someone significant. Or after you die, listen carefully from the box to the readings others picked for you after they wheel or carry you to the front of the church. How’s that for a new meaning to the words, “Think outside the box.”

In the meanwhile, live life to the full for at least the next 25 to 50 years or more. Amen.

LITTLE   THINGS 

CAN  MEAN A  LOT

November  8,  2011

Quote for Today

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."


Anonymous


Questions:

Are you old enough to look back?

Do you have an example of a little thing that you now realize was a big thing?

Name the 10 biggest things in your life 10 years ago - and then name the 10 biggest things in your life right now?

THE SECRET:

HOW I REACT

November  7,  2011

Quote for Today

"I am convinced that  life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it."

Charles Swindoll