ROSES IN DECEMBER
Quote for Memorial Day in the U.S.A. - May 30, 2011
"God gave us memory that we might have roses in December."
James M. Barrie
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
INTRODUCTION
The title of this homily for the 6th Sunday after Easter is, “Please Explain!”
It comes from a sentence in today’s second reading, “Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence….”
Let me repeat that. It’s a great statement from the First Letter of Saint Peter, which scholars date from just before Peter’s death in Rome around AD 65. (1) The quote again: “Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence….”
SITUATIONS
Has anyone ever asked you why you believe – why you have hope in God? You’re at a convention or on vacation and it’s Sunday or Saturday evening and someone notices you checking out where the nearest Catholic Church is. You’re asking someone if they know where a church is and the times of the Masses – and this other person starts to wonder and asks you about why you go to Church.
If someone had a TV camera and another person had a microphone and they are standing outside Mass this morning and they ask you, “Why did you go to Church today?” What would you answer?
It’s Memorial Day Weekend and someone at a cookout is sitting there with you and they had a couple of beers and they are in a big time philosophical, theological, talking mood – like folks on bar stools at times – and they say to you, “I was thinking about all those flags on all those graves around our country today – about all those men and women who gave their lives for our country – especially at a very young age. Is that all there is – the memory – the flag – the tombstone – the green grass growing over their grave?” Then they add, “You go to church. You’re a Catholic. You’re a Christian. Do you really believe that there is anything beyond this life? I don’t.”
They are saying to us in many words, just two words: “Please explain.” They are asking, “Is this all there is?”
GENTLENESS AND REVERENCE
I love the two words in Saint Peter’s letter which we heard today: “gentleness” and “reverence”.
Explain – but explain with gentleness and reverence.
Peter is being just like Paul in Ephesians 4: 15, where Paul says, “Speak the truth in love.”
We don’t just tell a person they are being a jerk. We speak the truth to others with love – if – and only if – we can help the other – and not make things worse – that is, if they really are being a jerk.
We don’t just wham a person who has questions about faith and hope and the meaning of life – and whether there is a hereafter – as being stupid or agnostic or they are going to go to hell unless they wake up – because they might just wake up after they have died and find themselves in the wrong place.
I prefer the smile – sometimes silence – sometimes – “Me too – I wonder about that myself at times. If there is nothing after this – hey we’ll never know, till we die. But if there is, I won the bet – I won the gamble.” And if their face and their eyes seem to squint and ponder that, I might add, “That’s not my idea. It’s called the famous “Pascal’s Wager!” – named after the French philosopher and mathematician and spiritual writer, “Blaise Pascal.”
Notice I said, “spiritual writer”. For those who have dropped out, “spiritual” works better than “religious” or “Christian” writer. It has better overtones and undertones – and might sneak under another’s radar.
The old saying often works: “You catch more flies with a spoonful of honey than with a barrel of vinegar.”
That’s how I would interpret explaining my hope with gentleness, reverence, as well as with love.
EVERY WEDDING – EVERY FUNERAL
Every wedding – well not every wedding – but lots of weddings – someone comes up to me and says they were Catholic or they are still a Catholic – but they dropped out.
Wine helps. Wine loosens the tongue.
A prayerful wedding – a joyful wedding – this beautiful church – good music - laughter – a flower girl and a ring bearer – each around 2 or 3 years old – parents – grandparents – white lace and promises – a kiss for luck – and a young couple on their way as the old song goes – all help to trigger in a lot of people a lot of things – especially at a lot of weddings.
I know at every wedding – at every funeral – there are people there who have dropped out of religion – mosque, synagogue, church – and they are there inside the walls of a church – at a sacred moment – the marriage of a loved one or friend – the baptism of a new baby – the burial of a loved one – and it can be a moment of grace for them.
It’s certainly a moment of questions.
Please explain!
At these moments – it’s my experience – that the sight of all these things as well as a priest triggers questions that people have sitting there off stage – in their mind.
Catechisms help – but I don’t see a catechism helping folks at first instance.
The Bible helps – but I don’t see a Bible helping folks at first instance as well.
What helps is just what St. Peter says there in today’s second reading: gentleness and reverence.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
After listening – after chatter – if it seems the right moment, what I love to ask people – in moments like these – is: “Did you write your autobiography yet?”
I ask that – because curves can snake and sneak into another’s strike zone without the other seeing the pitch coming.
I say that – because I believe that in examining one’s life – one faces the big, big questions.
And the big, big questions center around the meaning of life – and God – and God is there especially in that mix and meaning!
Hopefully, everyone has heard in high school, or college, or in some workshop, the 8 stages of life according to Erik Erikson. You can write your autobiography using 10’s – decades – or before and afters – or moves – or transfers – or what have you – and you can also use Erikson’s 8 stages. (2)
The 8th and last stage is called, “Ego Integrity vs. Despair.”
Translation. In the last phase of life – which can last for a long period of time – hopefully a person comes up with “a post-narcissistic love of the human ego – not of the self.” Translation: My life and my place in it makes sense. It was not all me. The opposite according to Erik Erikson is big time fear of death and despair.
The older we get, the more we should be making sense of our life.
Christianity adds a great, great hope. Even if we blew it, even if it was all about me, and we were totally stupid or selfish, we can scream to God at the last minute, and find ourselves welcomed home.
The Prodigal Son pulled it off. The workers in the vineyard who only worked that last hour got the same pay as those who worked the whole day. The Good Thief was the smart thief and Jesus said to him, “Today you’ll be with me in paradise.” (3)
And all those who say, “Great move” and are not furious at last minute conversions – all those who say, “Amen. Brother. Amen. Sister. Hope I’m with you at the same banquet table in paradise" – are those who got what Christ was about.
MY BROTHER: THREE EXPLANATIONS
In 1984 – Good Friday – my brother found out from a doctor – that he had about 18 months to live. He was 49. I just happened to be in Maryland at the time and I asked him when he got home from the doctor, “How are you going to deal with this?” He said, “I’ll let you know.”
I was asking him, “Please Explain” – the title of my homily for today.
In time he told me various things - three I especially remember. First, he said, “I found out the secret in dealing with cancer and death is to do what the doctor tells you to do, do your exercises, laugh, and don’t think of oneself, only those around you.” Secondly, another time he said, “I’m glad I didn’t wait till now to smell the flowers.” He certainly had a full, full life. And thirdly, he said right near his end – close to the 18 months the doctor mentioned, “Remember when you asked me how I was going to deal with this. Well, thank God for mom and dad and the gift of faith they gave us.”
CONCLUSION
The title of my homily is, “Please Explain!”
Saint Peter said to explain with gentleness and reverence.
I would explain with the story of my brother and other people who explained to me their way of dealing with life and death questions.
I would hope we all reflect from time to time – in car rides alone – during vacation time – while at the ocean – or wherever – sailing on the Bay – as well as with great chats with each other about each other’s lives – and slowly – we end up with a great life – and a great hope and trust in God in the life to come. Amen.
Is there a life after this life? I know I’m betting on it. How about you? Start living and working on it now. Don't wait till the last minute!
NOTES:
(1) The New Jerome Biblical Commentary, “The First Epistle of Peter,” by William J. Dalton, S.J., p. 903.
(2) In his book, Childhood and Society, you can find Erik Erikson's 8 Stages. They are: (1) Basic Trust vs. Basic Mistrust. (2) Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt. (3) Initiative vs. Guilt. (4) Industriousness vs. Conformity. (5) Identity vs. Role Confusion. (6) Intimacy vs. Isolation. (7) Generativity vs. Stagnation. (8) Ego Integrity vs. Despair. If you use Google, type in, "8 Stages of Life by Erik Erikson" and follow the leads.
(3) Prodigal Son story: Luke 15: 11-32; Vineyard story Matthew 20: 1-16; Good Thief story Luke 23: 39-43.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
What remains:
footprints, scars, graffiti,
stains, dents, scratches,
spaghetti sauce on white wool sweaters
and memories.
What remains:
Jesus’ words,
that he chose us, appointed us,
to go and bear fruit with our lives,
fruit that will remain. (1)
What remains:
what we put in writing.
As the old Latin saying goes,
“Scripta manet!” (2)
What remains:
where we were born,
neighbors, schools, friends,
cars, great vacations,
weddings, baptisms, funerals,
and where we were on days like September 11th.
What remains:
graduation – not the diploma, but the memory
of moving on – big days and moments ahead,
the feeling of saying, “Good bye” and “Thank you!”
to some classmates and some teachers,
but not to all. Sorry.
What remains:
the drink is drunk,
but sometimes we placed
our wet cold glass down,
right on the top of an important piece
of furniture which we weren’t supposed to use,
but we were jabbering and didn't think
of coasters and the circle outline
of our water stain lasting forever
on the expensive wood.
What remains:
those who came to mom’s funeral.
I don’t remember what they said,
but I appreciated their being there.
What remains:
well as St. Paul put it,
“Faith, hope and love last
and the greatest of these is love.” (3)
What remains:
sometimes the hurt,
sometimes the “I’m sorry”,
sometimes the “I forgive you!”
sometimes the “Oh I forgot that a long time ago!”
but the one who hurt me, can’t let it go.
What remains:
the memory of the first kiss, or drink or smoke
when nobody was watching.
What remains:
not the gift,
but the thought behind the gift,
but, okay, some gifts we remember-
diamonds or a simple pair of rosary beads
from Rome, blessed by the pope –
maybe from 100 yards away –
but they didn’t tell us that.
What remains:
Jesus in the tabernacle
and Jesus in our heart
as we go back out into the traffic of life.
What remains:
our children and our children’s children.
What remains:
the memory of seeing our parents sneak a kiss
once at a picnic and they didn’t see us seeing them,
or their holding hands as they went to the microphone
for their 50th Wedding anniversary.
What remains:
a phone call in the night –
saying he or she died.
What remains:
mistakes and memories of our mistakes,
but please God we know about scars and healing
and the great Mass prayer: “Lord have mercy.”
What remains:
10,000 acts of kindness
that we won’t know about till Heaven,
if that’s part of Heaven -
and if we remain, please God -
let us remain.
What remains:
sometimes words like these written here.
“Hey, today’s gospel made it till today!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOTES
(1) This was a poetic type homily for this 5th Friday after Easter. I began reflecting on the key Greek word “MENO” in today’s gospel from the 15th Chapter of John – which can be translated “to remain” or “to abide” or “to stay”. Notice the word “MENO” is the second part of the English word “remain” as well as similar words in and various other languages.
(2) There is the old Latin saying, “Verba volunt, scripta manet.” Or “Verba volunta, littera scripta manet.” English translation: "Words fly away, but the written word remains.” It’s a warning about being careful in what one puts in writing. Of course, this was before recording machines and cameras.
(3) 1 Corinthians 13:13
EDUCATIONAL
LIMITS
Quote for Today - May 27, 2011
"Each generation of Americans has outstripped its parents in education, in literacy, and in economic attainment. For the first time in the history of our country, the educational skills of one generation will not surpass, will not equal, will not even approach, those of their parents."
Paul Copperman, in National Commission on Excellence in Education, A Nation at Risk, 1983
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