RAISING   KIDS

Quote for Today  - April 4,  2011


"Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it, not hard enough and it flies away."

Tommy Lasorda

THE MAN BORN BLIND

[When I read today’s first reading about the call of David – chosen over his 7 brothers – the unsuspected choice to become the future king – being judged not by appearance or look, but by something much deeper – I thought about writing a story with that in mind. I’d be interested in seeing where that might go as a homily. I like to do that at Christmas and other times. Then I read today’s gospel about the blind man in the 9th chapter of John – how he sees so much more than those who are supposed to be able to see. He might make an interesting juxtapositioning of character with David. So here comes the first draft of an imaginary story, entitled, “The Man Born Blind”. Relax! I made the story only 4 pages – because of the long gospel.]

Once upon a time there was a baby who was born blind.

Obviously, his parents, when they discovered this – actually almost immediately – were devastated.

But they caught themselves – and hugged and loved their youngest child – David – very tightly – and with great love. And David in turn gave great love to his parents and 3 brothers and 1 sister – and to all those who came into his presence.

David was to be a special child – bright – quick – sharp – and very loving. And in time he often overheard his parents say to neighbors and relatives – sentiments like, “We thought we were gifted – with our first four children – but we didn’t know what gift was like – till David entered into our world – and into our family.”

And David could sense – could pick up – disbelief and “Oh yeah!” from those who heard that his parents thought of him as gift.

Blind people, as is often said – can have an uncanny ability to sense a scene and the sound of all the lines spoken – and unspoken – better than most people. Their ears – their consciousness – their understanding – can be very powerful.

His 3 brothers and his 1 sister were just what the doctor ordered – helping David to learn the ins and outs of life – the tumble and the jumble of getting along with one another – how to deal with whining and selfishness – praising and giving – and becoming a full person – joyful, happy, and a delight to be a room with them.

David went to a great school that helped the blind – and learned all the stuff his brothers and sister learned at their schools – and then some.

Of course, he missed out on a lot of stuff he could hear his brothers – especially his brothers – talking about – the color of cool t-shirts, what spaghetti looked like – compared to what it felt and tasted like, a great catch in a football – an almost home run in baseball.

There was no Braille for March Madness great shots in basketball – but he could hear surprise, disappointment, wow’s, the crowd – better than most people.

So sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes when you’re poor, you’re rich. Sometimes when you’re empty, you have room for more.

He was best man at each of his 4 brother’s weddings. He gave a great talk at his parent's 25th and again at their 30th wedding anniversary.

He graduated – get this – at the top of his class in college. He then went on to got an M.B.A. He was brilliant. He liked business and got a good job in management at a big Wall Street firm. No, he wasn’t a New Yorker. He was a Connecticut guy – but close to New York City.

Somebody at the Wall Street firm sensed very early on that David had a unique gift and skill in analyzing candidates for a job. It began the day his boss asked him to just sit there – off to the side – when 3 different people were being considered for a job. It was the third meeting with these three finalists.

So David just sat there not saying anything – but afterwards – everyone was surprised what he picked up – about the candidates for the position – and what the 3 being interviewed said and didn’t say – and how they answered the various questions.

All were amazed – hearing David say things they completely missed.

In time, management realized David could see right through people – to their core – to their heart – to what made them tick – to what their real skills and abilities were. More and more he was also used for decisions about promotions and all kinds of problem solving.

In the company after a while – because people relied more and more on David’s observations – people rarely ever said again, “Well, she looked great on paper.” Or “Were we ever so blind.”

David’s salary went up and up. He laughed when they gave him a room with a great view. Even easier, he longer had to commute to work by train and cane – tap – tap – from Connecticut. The company provided him with a limo.

And somewhere in the middle of all this, David met and married Doris – a Wall Street Lawyer – and they had 3 kids – all of whom could see perfectly – much to the delight of David.

Life went on – and at 65 David retired – their kids were now grown and married – and David the father and grandfather wondered what he would do next.

He knew he didn’t want to just sit around. He knew he wanted to see the world – especially with the eyes of his wife Doris – who was a great describer of scenes. He knew he also wanted to volunteer somewhere – maybe even at his local Catholic Church – which he went to all his life. In fact, today’s gospel was his favorite gospel story. Every third year when it was read –he loved it even though he could hear people in church thinking, "Hurry it up already" with their body language which he could hear as they were standing there in church - shifting back and forth during the long, long gospel reading.

The phone call surprised him.

Because of problems with priests and this and that – the bishop of the diocese – who had heard about David from a nephew who had worked with him at the same Wall Street firm – called him up.

“Can I come and see you David?” Bishop so and so began.

“Sure,” said David. “I’m free anytime.”

Well, the bishop came and asked David if he would sit in and offer his observations on interviews with candidates to the priesthood as well as interviews with seminarians. The bishop said, “We have to do a better job on all this.”

David proved unbelievable. He had lots of lights and insights – that others were not picking up. They were so good that the Bishop then asked David if he would interview the priests of the diocese – asking them how they were – what they loved to do – what they didn’t like to do – what they did for fun – what they were reading – what they were preaching about – and why – and how things were going.

It worked. David being blind – disarmed priests – and they would tell him things and observations they wouldn’t even tell in confession and this and that – plus and minus stuff – loneliness and morale stuff – what floated their boats – what filled their sails – when they felt a rush of the Spirit in their lives – and when they felt like they were walking in quicksand.

The result was a renaissance and renewal of the lives of the priests of the diocese – and parishioners everywhere sensed something new was happening in the lives of their priests – the way they said mass, the way they preached, the way they greeted the people.

The bishop was so amazed by all this. So he too talked to David quite a bit of the time. He felt renewed as well – so much so – that at the National Bishop’s Conference he told them about David and suggested to his brother bishops of the United States that David be used for interviewing future bishops and talking about their morale.

At that there was silence – and then they said – “We’ll think about that. We’ll let you know at the next meeting.”

WRITING  DOWN 

YOUR LEGACY 

AND YOUR MEMOIRS

Quote for the Day -- April 3, 2011

"When an old person dies, it's like a library has burned down."

Alex Haley [1921-1992]

THE  WIZARD 

OF  OZ

Quote for Today - April 2,  2011


"No, Aunt Em, this was a real truly live place. And I remember some of it wasn't very nice. But most of it was beautiful. But just the same all I kept saying to everyone was 'I want to go home.'"



Dorothy's 4th last line in the 1939 Movie Script of The Wizard of Oz by Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson and Edgar Allen Wolfe - based on the book by L. Frank Baum.

HOTTER OR COLDER?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 3rd Friday of Lent is, “Hotter or Colder?”

There is an old, old game kids play – called, “Hotter / Colder”. It’s very basic for kids up to 3 years old – but kids up to 5 still enjoy it.

You know the first rule for baby sitting: Keep them busy. I’m sure those of you who are grandparents – are in demand.

Knowing games helps big time.

In this game kids are asked to close their eyes and the hider hides something – a small toy, a penny, a piece of candy, somewhere in the room or somewhere in the house.

Then the searcher – the kid or kids – have to go find the hidden object. The person who hid the object keeps saying, “You’re getting hotter!” or “Colder!” Or “You’re freezing!” or “Hot!” or “Very hot!”

You’ll know the kid gets the game when he or she keeps asking as they move around the room or house, “Am I getting hotter or colder?”

I love hiding the object in the refrigerator – middle shelf – or kid's eye height - but behind something.

And when the kid finds the penny or candy or toy, they love it – especially if it’s candy.

And the hider claps and claps.

Little kids will tell you the truth without saying it, whether they loved the game or whether they were bored, if they say, “Let’s play again.” If they say that, hint, hint, they love the game. Better: they like having fun with you.

And you know you’re really into the game if the kid says, “Let me hide the quarter or penny or what have you and then you try to find it.”

And they love to say, “Hotter” or “colder” to adults as they do the searching. A cool adult will move in the wrong direction just to get the kid screaming, "Colder!" because they want the adult to find it – especially if he or she peeks to see where the kid hides the object.

ALL

All of us are playing that game. We want to know if we’re getting hotter or colder when it comes to finding the secret of life. Hotter… colder … hotter … colder.

The other day I had a funeral and I had no clue who the person who died was. I knew the name of course and the raw material of a short obituary. There was no wake, so I called the family. Well, I couldn’t get an answer to the question, “What was this person like?” I didn’t want to know what job they had or what have you.” I wanted to know what the person who had died was like. Who was this person who died? I asked on the phone, “Was he independent?” “Was he a character?” “Was he funny?” “Was he an introvert?” I couldn’t get an answer. Ugh. I figured some of the folks at church knew this middle aged man – and I knew if I said anything about his personality they would be thinking, “you’re getting hotter” or “colder”.

I didn’t know what to do, so I faked it.

I got to pick the gospel. Since I was trying to find and figure something out, I chose Matthew 13: 44-49 – where there are tiny three examples from Jesus about searching and sorting things out – which was what I was trying to do.

The first example was that of “The Lost Pearl.” Next came the “The story of the Finding of the Treasure in the Field,” and lastly, “The story of the Dragnet”. And I talked about life being a search – and at the time of a funeral – at the time of a death – we do some searching into the meaning of life – our own life and the life of the loved one who has died. I hadn’t thought about this idea of “hotter” or “colder” yet. If I did, I might have used it in my homily.

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Well today’s gospel from Mark 12: 28-34 is about a man – a scribe – who is searching. He wants to know if he’s getting hotter or colder – when it comes to the meaning of life. He wanted to be right. So he asks Jesus some questions. In Mark and Matthew, Jesus answers the man’s question. In Luke Jesus asks some questions back. Either way, the guy says, “Good. I’ve been keeping these commandments all my life.” And Jesus says, “You’re not far from the kingdom of God.” In other words, “You’re getting hotter.”

CONCLUSION

The meaning of life is simple.

It’s to practice the 2 great commandments.

I sense that we’re all searching.

I sense that we’re all walking around each day trying to find the secret of life – trying to find the key to the Magical Kingdom – trying to do God’s Will – trying to live in God’s kingdom.

When we discover that the secret is to love God with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves – we’re hot.

So the more we love – whether we’re 3 year old kids or 80 year old kids – we’re hot and getting hotter.

How about that?

APRIL

Quote for the Day - April 1,  2010


"April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain."



T. S. Eliot [1888-1965] The Waste Land [1922]. I, The Burial of the Dead

BASEBALL 

AN ALLEGORY

Quote for Today - Opening Day of the Baseball Season - March 31,  2011

"Baseball is an allegorical play about America, a poetic, complex and subtle play of courage, fear, good luck, mistakes, patience about fate and sober self-esteem (batting average). It is impossible to understand America without a thorough knowledge of baseball."

Saul Steinberg, "Chronology" 1954, in Harold Rosenberg, Saul Steinberg, 1978