“COMPLETE THIS SENTENCE:
I REGRET….”

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 6 Tuesday in Ordinary time is, “Complete This Sentence: I Regret….”

Those are words found in a book, How To Survive the Loss of a Love, by Melba Colgrove, Harold H. Bloomfield, and Peter McWilliams.

Would everyone give us an answer to that request?

Regrets can be like lobsters; they can bite us; they can really hold onto us.

We’ve all heard people being asked that question: “Any regrets?”

And we’ve all heard people in public say, “Nope. No regrets.”

But would that person – some night years later – with scotch or bourbon or wine in hand say, “Okay I have one regret.”

Does every person who has lost a loved one – have at least one thing they wished they said or did?

Haven’t we all put our foot – maybe even both feet – into our mouth – and said the wrong thing at the wrong time – and then – we made it worse – by repeating what we were really trying to say but even "worser" and there is no eraser for some "worser" words?

Did Jesus ever regret picking Judas or even Peter? How about Thomas? I’m sure he had no regrets about Andrew. But how about James and John?

DE-ENERGIZING THE BUNNY AND IT ISN’T FUNNY

Might-have-beens can be mighty draining.

Katherine Mansfield said regrets are “An appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in The Way to Freedom, wrote, “If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.”

So do you have any regrets? Have you gotten on any wrong trains? Have you made any mistakes? How about sins of omission? How did it go with your marriage? How did it go with your family? How did it go with go with schooling, money, jobs? How about you and God?

AT LEAST 5 A DAY

At the end of the day, I have at least 5 regrets for that day.

But it’s the big ones that count – the lifetime regrets.

I regret that I didn’t ask my dad all the questions that I thought of after he died June 26, 1970 – but I’m happy I sat down with yellow pad and pen 5 or so months before he died and asked him questions that gave me about 40 pages of info and stories on paper – in hand.

I had some good conversations with my mom – and I’m glad I taped her before she died – April 7, 1987.

But there are still so many more questions.

There have been lots of insipid or stupid sermons. There are 3 books that I haven’t finished. There are also 2 books on my shelf that I could not get a publisher for.

There are lots of people I didn’t visit – because of laziness – selfishness - and lots of excuses, excuses, excuses - all of which are sources for a lot of regrets.

CONCLUSION

What triggered this topic is the comment about God in today’s first reading from Genesis 6: 6: “God regretted that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was grieved.”

How about regrets about women? Smile.

Of course, that’s a projection by the writer onto God. It’s what they call an "anthropomorphism".

Hopefully we have no regrets that a writer put this story of the big flood into the Bible – because it certainly has helped people who have been flooded out and drowned in stupidity – or what have you - to have hope after the big loss, after the big regret, to start again – and doing this life over.

And P.S.: going two by two or more, certainly makes life easier than going it alone - except for those two mosquitoes God let on Noah's boat. I regret them and a few other bugs. I know. Everything has a reason. But ....

REGRETS

Quote for Today -- February 15, 2010


"Regrets are as personal as fingerprints."

Margaret Culkin Banning, "Living With Regrets," Reader's Digest, October 1958

PASS IT ON 

BEFORE YOU PASS ON!

Quote for Today - Valentine's Day - February 14,  2011


"Have you had a kindness shown?
Pass it on."


Henry Burton [1840-1930], Pass It On, first stanza

THE JEALOUSY FAMILY

[Instead of a homily I made up this story for today's Mass for the 6th Sunday in Ordinary Time A. The Children's Lectionary only had a small part of today's long gospel from Matthew's Sermon on the Mount . It had Matthew 5: 23-24 instead of Matthew 5: 17-37.]

Once upon a time there was this family: “The Jealousy Family.”

There are some musicians who use the Jealousy name for their stage name – but in this family, Jealousy was their real last name.

You can check it out in the phone book – if you can find one, because most people don’t use phonebooks any more. Today it would be better to check it out on line: Jack and Jill Jealousy. And you’ll find it almost immediately, because there aren’t too many people with Jealousy for a last name.

Jack and Jill had 4 kids – 2 boys: Jack Jr. and Jimmy; and two girls: Janet and Jeri - Jeri with a J and one R – spelled J E R I.

Before Jack and Jill got married – friends had all kinds of jokes and fun with their names: Jack and Jill – but especially with that last name – Jealously.

Two generations back – a grandfather from Eastern Europe arrived in America in Baltimore with the name of Johan Jellonowski – and because everyone had trouble pronouncing and spelling Jellonowski – in fact, grandpa wasn’t so sure on just how to spell it out in English himself, so he changed the family name to Jealousy. Good thing he didn’t go with, “Jell-O”. “New country, new name!” he was fond of saying when asked, “Where in the world did the family name of ‘Jealousy’ come from?”

Because of their first names as well as their last name – Jealousy – Jack and Jill decided to name each of their kids as they came along with a J for their first name. They would joke saying, “Just in case one kid would feel jealousy that another kid got a better name than another kid – we gave all of you a J for a first name.

But to be serious – Jack and Jill had to deal with the question of jealousy as their kids started to grow. This was new to them – because when Jack and Jill dated – there wasn’t any jealousy. They knew they made for each other – from moment # 1 – meeting each other in Tio Pepe’s Restaurant on 10 East Franklin Street in Baltimore – quite by accident.

It just happened to be Valentine’s Day Evening – and neither of them were dating anyone at the time.

Both were there at Tio’s with two friends – and everyone - all 6 of them were wearing a Colts jacket – that was a football team that used to be in Baltimore – and each party of 3 were seated just at the next table. Since Tio Pepe’s was a more dressed up kind of place – suit jackets preferred for dinner – their blue and white Colts jackets stood out. The jackets got them talking table to table – in fact – they asked the waiter – if they could pull their tables together and they did.

Jack and Jill loved to tell that story. Jack and Jill always remembered that story – especially around Valentine’s Day.

Now back to Jealousy….

Like every family – the Jealousy family had to deal with jealousy – but Jack and Jill needed time to discover this.

When Jack Jr. was born, Jack Sr. – daddy – felt a tinge and twinge of jealousy that he was no longer the only other in the house with Jill.

When Jimmy was born Jack Jr. was jealous – that mom and dad were giving the attention he used to get – to the new baby. When cameras appeared Jack Jr. would pose for pictures – but everyone was taking Jimmy’s picture instead and saying, “Isn’t he so cute.”

Jack Jr. was too young to be able to say, “What am I? Chopped liver?”

At first when Jack and Jill began to notice Jack Jr’s antics to get attention from mom or dad, they couldn’t figure what got into Little Jack – but one day when Jill’s mom was visiting her, her mom said to her, “Isn’t it cute how Junior Jack – that’s what she called him – blocks out Jimmy whenever people want to see the new baby?”

“Oh,” said Jill, “now I get it. Okay.”
So she gave Jack Jr. some extra TLC – and this would calm him down - sometimes.

Then Jimmy went through the Jealousy scene when his new baby sister, Janet was born. He was now a middle child – and would be for the rest of his life. It wouldn’t be till he was in his 20’s when he could laugh, really laugh about that. Then Janet went through it when Jeri – the last of their 4 kids, Jeri with a J – Jeri spelled J E R I.

It’s interesting to note that Janet and Jimmy at some point would become the best of friends – without knowing why they were the best of friends. She had a long talk with Jimmy when he was 37 and she was 35 and had three kids of her own by then – and Jimmy had 5 kids of his own and they saw how little kids could be rivals and jealous – and also what it’s like to be a kid stuck in the middle – but all this is getting ahead of the story.

I guess you have to be older and a parent to see what you didn’t see when you are a kid.

Jealousy – it shows up in every family – you better get used to it.

It shows up in jealousy about whom gets the biggest piece of cake at a family birthday party – and unfair motives are laid on the cake cutter.

It shows up in whom gets the best seat in the car….

It shows up in comments about who’s the funniest or cutest or who takes the best picture or who goes to who’s sporting event.

It shows up with Christmas presents – but only when kids are between 4 and 10. After that jealousy about presents seems to disappear.

It shows up with whom sits next to mom and dad – at church – and the Jealousy family went to church every Sunday – celebrating and practicing their faith – a faith that was handed down from their grandparents both of whom came from Eastern Europe – where faith was very solid – and sometimes very difficult to practice – but grandparents on both sides kept the faith when they landed and settled in Baltimore.

Surprise – one Sunday – at Mass – The Jealousy Family were asked to bring the gifts up to the altar as a family at the Children’s Mass.

When they got to the back of the hall, all four reached out and gave a hand shake and then knuckled each other – and each said, “I’m sorry for being a pain.” Then they all walked up the aisle with the gifts – mom and dad – Jack and Jill – Jack Jr, Jimmy, Janet and Jeri – Jeri with a J – Jeri spelled J E R I.

Mom and dad walking behind them whispered to each other: “What was that all about?”

They didn’t get the answer to that question till they were in the car heading out for breakfast after Mass – which they did every Sunday morning – figuring the day would be coming – when their kids would be having lots of other plans than going out for breakfast as a family on a Sunday morning after Mass.

Sitting there mom said, “Why did you kids all knuckle each other before we brought the gifts up? That was nice, but why did you do that?”

Janet said dramatically, “Hello Mom, Hello! Didn’t you hear what the priest read out loud about Jesus – that he said, ‘When you come to bring your gift to the altar and you remember that your brother or sister has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar and go first and be reconciled with your brother and sister and then come and offer your gift.’ Mom. Hello!”

That night after the kids went to bed Jack and Jill laughed and cried and knuckled each other remembering that moment at Mass: “Wow we have great kids. It’s all worth it. It’s all worth it, babe! Thanks for marrying me.”

“Me too!”

IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE!

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “It’s Not That Simple.”

There’s some good stuff in today’s three readings. Do you have your thinking caps on?

Today’s first reading makes life so simple.

The text is from the Book of Sirach – 15: 15-20.

He begins, “If you choose you can keep the commandments, they will save you; ….”

We’ve heard that before: “Keep the rules and they will keep you!”

Sirach continues: “… if you trust in God, you too shall live; he has set before you fire and water; to whichever you choose, stretch forth your hand. Before man are life and death, good and evil, whichever he chooses shall be given him.”

It sounds just like the great text in Deuteronomy 30:15 – when Moses gathers everyone together and tells the people they have two choices: life and prosperity, death and disaster. He spells each out way and then says, “Therefore choose life.”

It sounds just like Psalm 1 – where we are given two choices: to be like a tree planted near running water that produces fruit in season or to be like a dry dead leaf blowing in the wind.

Choose life!

It sounds so simple – like the choices on the menu in Burger King. You get what you choose.

Obviously we would all chose life!

The title of my homily is, “It’s Not That simple.”

REGINALD FULLER

Reginald Fuller is his commentary on today’s first reading from Sirach says something that is both profound and simple: “This is the clearest statement in all the canonical and deuterocanonical Old Testament writings on the subject of human free will. It is even clearer than Deuteronomy 30:15, whose teaching it echoes. Taken by itself, this passage would seem to be unadulterated Pelagianism. It does not recognize the bias toward sin that characterizes humanity in its fallen state. The human person appears to be a tabula rasa, having complete freedom to choose good or evil (‘fire and water’), and there is no apparent recognition of the human need for grace.” (1)

Pelagius was a Christian, a priest, in Britain from way back around the year 400 who did not believe in original sin and held that humans have perfect freedom to do either right or wrong. It’s all up to us.

That’s a very clear position on how some people think and see life – especially for others – how they should be doing life.

Haven’t we heard people say things like this:

· “Is he crazy? Doesn’t he realize that if he keeps on drinking, he’s going to destroy his marriage, his liver and his life? Can’t he say, ‘No!’”

· “Is she stupid – if she keeps on buying, buying, buying, going deeper and deeper into debt – she’s going to end up losing everything? Why doesn’t she stop the shopping and cut up her credit cards?”

· “Some people just fill up their plate – and then take seconds – and then take 2 desserts? Don’t they ever look in the mirror? Doesn’t they realize they are eating themselves to death? Don’t they know what people are saying about them?”

· “He’s into porn. Why doesn’t he just stop using the Internet? It’s as simple as that. Just turn off the machine.”

The thin and the sober, the one who doesn’t think he or she is sinning and sinking into sin – the ones who concentrate on watching and judging others – sometimes think it’s all so simple. They have it all figured out how other people can get their life right.

Life is not that simple. It's like spagetti. It looks simple - till you have to put it together or you spill it on a nice white shirt or blouse.

TODAY’S SECOND READING

Today’s second reading from 1st Corinthians talks about God’s wisdom – described as “mysterious, hidden”, which many don’t know about. Read Paul and you’ll find out that life is not that simple. But then again, Paul was quite a complex person.

Read his Letter to the Romans – especially Chapter 7. Paul says, “I cannot understand my own behavior. I fail to carry out the things I want to do, and I find myself doing the very things I hate.”

He goes on, “In fact, this seems to be the rule, that every single time I want to do good it is something evil that comes to hand. In my inmost soul I dearly love God’s Law, but I can see that my body follows a different law that battles against the law which my reason dictates. This is what makes me a prisoner of that law of sin which lives inside my body.”

He concludes, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body doomed to death?” Then he gives the answer – the name of the one who can come and help and redeem him: it’s Jesus. “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (2)

Anyone who has an eating or drinking or drug or sexual or gossip or chocolate or gambling or love or hate addiction, knows Paul knows the human heart.

The title of my homily is, “It’s Not That Simple.”

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel is not only very long. It’s also very complex.

I also have the Children’s Mass for tomorrow morning at 8 AM – and in the Children’s Lectionary, the gospel text is cut down to just one part of the gospel you just heard.

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar,and there recall that your brotherhas anything against you,leave your gift there at the altar,go first and be reconciled with your brother,and then come and offer your gift.

I don’t know what I’m going to preach on tomorrow morning – for the Kids Mass – as well as the Teen Age Mass tomorrow evening at 5 PM. For the little kids, I usually make up a story that tries to get at something in the readings.

Here we are at the altar. Here we are with stuff inside of us that is unresolved – unsolved. Should we all leave right now and get things straightened out so we can be pure and clean for this worship moment?

Here we are – looking at the long version of the gospel from the Sermon on the Mount – that we heard today.

We come to Mass, we come to the altar, in all kinds of states of being. Some of us think we got it all right; some of us think we got it all wrong. Some of us are righteous and some of us are “wrongsheous”. Some of us come to the altar with a picky, picky heart or personality – and some of us don’t know what we have to pick and do to be a better Christian.

We come to Mass, we come to the altar, with anger towards brothers and sisters, in-laws, co-workers, politicians, friends and enemies, drivers, noisy neighbors – classmates – some from 20 or 30 years ago. There are people we call “Jerks”, “Idiots” and worse.

We come to Mass with fantasies about how we would want our family or home or boss or priests or church to be.

We come here with fantasies about how our marriage could be if only … if only … if only – and such thinking without true listening, without deep communication and communion with our spouse – without deep honesty with ourselves – without real willingness to change – can only adulterate us – sometimes allowing lust or frustration or anger ruin our nights and denigrate our days and our best energies seem to be cut off – and we’re not seeing straight.

We come here to Mass having sworn, having lied, probably down deep to ourselves about ourselves – if we’re really honest – really honest – and that’s very difficult – and in the meanwhile, we still haven’t reconciled our life to our hopes and dreams – wants and needs – and how God fits into the mix of it all.

THE PRIMAL SCREAM

The primal scream is to become the little child again as Jesus put it – unless you become like little children, you won’t enter the Kingdom. (3)

“Help!” That’s the prayer of Paul – who found out after falling on his face in his righteousness – that he was wrong – dead wrong – in his perception about others – these Christians – whom he was persecuting. He found out he was heading down the wrong road and the right road was the very one he was killing – Jesus – who was called “The Way!” The Road to God. (4)

The primal scream is the scream for help – and that’s one thing we are doing here in Church – so we don’t have to leave right now. This is a crying room. This is a scream room. People get upset at babies crying in church. Get over it. Listen to your own screams and inner tantrums and discover Jesus ready to help you on the road to your deepest self.

Then offer your gift here at the altar today together with Jesus and the rest of us.

CONCLUSION

I conclude by saying once again, “It’s Not That Simple.”

And then to contradict myself, but to quote Jesus, there is a very simple morning prayer at the end of today’s gospel. Each morning we can wake up and say “Yes” to God and to Life and “No” to death and destruction and then throughout the day work and walk with Jesus to make our “Yes” a “Yes” and our “No” a “No”.

OOOOOOO

NOTES

1) Reginald H. Fuller, Preaching the Lectionary, The Liturgical Press, Collegeville, Minnesota, 1984, page 120.

(2) Translation from The Jerusalem Bible. It was the Bible closest at hand at the moment.

(3) Confer Matthew 19: 13-15; Mark 10: 13-16; Luke 18: 15-17; Luke 9:46-48.

(4) Cf. Acts 9: 1-19; Galatians 1: 11-24; Acts 26: 1-32

SOLITUDE

Quote for Today  - February 13, 2011


"Solitude lies at the lowest depth of the human condition. Man is the only being who feels himself to be alone and the only one who is searching for the Other."


Octavio Paz [1914-1998] in The Labyrinth of Solitude (El Labrinto de la Soledad) [1950], Appendix

Picture on top: Octavio Paz

FASTING 

FROM  HATRED, 

DETRACTION 

AND  CALUMNY

Quote for Today February 12,  2011


"Those who fast,
think themselves very devout when fasting,
even though their heart is filled with hatred.
Much concerned with sobriety,
they do not dare to wet their tongue
with wine or even water,
but they don't hesitate
to drink deep of their neighbor's blood
by detraction and calumny."

St. Francis de Sales [1567-1622]