GUILT

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 16 Tuesday in Ordinary Time is, “Guilt!”

Guilt is tricky stuff – so let me see if I can get my hands on some of it – knowing this is a lifetime puzzle.

I noticed in today’s first reading the word “guilt”, when the prophet, Micah, says, “Who is there like you, the God who removes guilt and pardons sin ….” [Cf. Micah 7: 14-15, 18-20],

It triggered the memory of a good quote on guilt that I read just last week somewhere. But where? I began searching and finally found it. It’s from Archibald MacLeish [1892-1982] in his 1958 play, J.B., which stands for Job – the Bible Job. The quote:

“Guilt matters.
Guilt must always matter.
Unless guilt matters the whole world is
Meaningless.”
Now that’s something to reflect upon: the impact and importance of guilt.

FIRST READING FROM MICAH

Obviously guilt is a card that is part of the deck and we have to deal with it from time to time. So we heard in today’s first reading from the ending of the book of the Prophet Micah, Chapter 7, verse, 18, “Who is there like you, the God who removes guilt….” Then in verse 19 Micah pictures God burying sins in the depths of the sea.

Obviously the sea, the ocean, is a better place to dump one’s sins than to try to bury them in our backyard or in the woods or at a garbage dump. If we could bury stuff underground, there might be obvious markers. At sea this is much more difficult. However, with these underwater cameras, the image of burying our sins at sea weakens a bit.

In the meanwhile, it seems to be a human trait that people want their sins hidden like a cat hides her mess – like people walking into a court house with their coat over their head – like people burying their hands in their faces after they discover they blew it.

People who make mistakes then want not only the memory of the sin they committed removed, but they also want the guilt from their sins removed. Shakespeare put Lady Macbeth on stage to show all this – the woman who is forever trying to wash off her hands the blood of Duncan the King whom her husband murdered – especially because of her instigation.

If I heard anything as a priest, it’s that people don’t forget the mistakes of their life. People have trouble accepting God’s forgiveness – as well as other’s forgiveness. Guilt remains. They might say a thousand times, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us….” but those words seem to remain on the lips or just the word level – and don’t seem to seep into the deepest feelings and memory level of the human person.

So for many people, mistakes – and then the guilt that follows – are written in indelible ink on the walls of their souls.
Now in one way, guilt and the remembrance of our sins are good. They can keep us humble. They can give us understanding of others who mess up. They might get us not to sin – because we don’t like the aftertaste and regurgitation of sin.

Once more isn’t that a bit of what the poet Archibald MacLeish. was saying when he wrote,

“Guilt matters. Guilt must always matter.
Unless guilt matters the whole world is
Meaningless.”

Guilt matters. Guilt is necessary. People ought to feel guilt if they have abused children or covered such horrors up. People better feel guilty about sloppy procedures when drilling for oil. People ought to feel guilt if they have hurt others or other’s reputations. People ought to feel guilt for sins of omission – and neglect.

So we need to be conscious of our impact on this world and each other. So I’m not talking about “popcorn” type sins here – those rash, quick thoughts and judgments we make on each other – or distractions in prayer or what have you. I’m taking here about the big stuff.

THE DIANE REHM SHOW
Last Thursday morning July 15, 2010 – 11 to 12 – on the Diane Rehm National Public Radio Program there was a whole show on the issue of apology – and the 3 experts she had as guests were saying there are phony apologies and authentic apologies.

Guilt hopefully gets us to apologize – to try to make things right.
Guilt hopefully gets us to realize when we have done something harmful, stupid, nasty.
That same program was repeated again Sunday morning. I hope some of you caught it. If you use Google, and want to still catch the show, just type in the search box, “Diane Rehm NPR” and see if you can get it. Just look at the options on the screen. Look for the word, “Apology.” Then listen to the radio program. Good stuff.

Or see if this works:
http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2010-07-18/apology-rebroadcast
I don’t remember them using the word “guilt” or even the word “sin”, but they did say a key item is that the person who makes the mistake, the person who commits the sin, needs to realize that he or she has significantly hurt the other person or lots of persons.

One comment the panel mentioned that is disastrous to say is, “If I have hurt you….” Or, “If I have hurt anyone, I’m sorry.” No if’s. The issue here is to see and know and become aware of what we have done or have not done – and it’s wrong. The program talked about people who have hurt people and guilt helps us realize we did just that.

Then the two steps and sometimes three steps that need to follow,

The first step is to go to the person and apologize – to say, “I am sorry”, to say, “I really messed up and hurt you.” The better one is aware of what the other or others had to go through because of my behavior is key. They advised that the best way to do this is in person, not by phone or e-mail.

The second step – which is often missing is the commitment – in both word and action. I will not do this again. This is the action step – the follow up step – the behavioral change step.

A third step is the restitution step – what I will do to compensate – to make up for – in my attempts to try to restore order.

MOVING TOWARDS A CONCLUSION: TWO TYPES OF GUILT

In today’s first reading Micah talks about God forgiving us our sins – as well as the guilt we feel. I’m talking in this homily about the importance of guilt – experiencing that – as well as the wonderful forgiveness God can give us.

So I’m saying that there are two types of guilt. Good guilt and bad guilt. I’m talking here about good guilt.

Now there are two types of bad guilt. There’s the guilt we should not be feeling because what we did or say wasn’t bad enough to take on the amount of guilt we have taken on. This type of guilt is a self centered guilt. It’s also found in the type of bad guilt that happens after we committed a serious sin – but once more the only person we’re really only thinking about is self and the bad feelings that come with sin – not really being aware of what we have done to others – but only concentrating on oneself.

In this homily I’m talking about good guilt – the kind of guilt Archibald MacLeish talked about in his poem – meaningful guilt.

This is often forgotten by folks. Catholic Moral Theology has always taught that God can as Micah says here, take away our guilt, forgive us our sins, but it also teaches about reparation and restoration and reconciliation – and trying not to being repeat performers.

Bonheoffer would use the phrase “cheap grace” for this wrong kind of understanding of forgiveness.

Last Thursday, one of the guests on the Diane Rehm Show talked about the difference between Protestant and Catholic apologies for forgiveness. The Protestant Tradition has the person standing up and speaking out his confession of sin; the Catholic Tradition has the person going to confession – a private moment between priest and penitent.

Yes, but we Catholics also have the community confession and prayer and the beginning of each Mass – and in Penance Services.

But what is not mentioned are the steps after confession. Confession is wonderful – especially if we cannot go to another – especially if it will make things worse. Confession can be also be tough but what seems to be often missing is the firm purpose of amendment.

And lastly what people often forget is the message: be reconciled with your brother and sister, and confess your sins to one another – and start again – and this often means restitution – reconfiguring the human covenant we have with each other.

+

Someone asked for a copy of this weekday homily. It was a bit long and a bit unclear in my opinion and I tinkered with it a bit after preaching it. Here it is - something on Guilt - Second Draft.

SIN - EMPTINESS - VOIDS

Quote for the Day - July 20, 2010

"All sins are attempts to fill voids."

Simone Weil [1909-1943], La Pesanteur et la grace [Gravity and Grace, 1948], p. 27

THE MICAH QUOTE

INTRODUCTION

Today’s first reading for the 16 Monday in Ordinary Time has the Micah Quote.

Micah 6:8 – Can you all say that out loud three times, “Micah 6:8”, "Micah 6:8", "Micah 6:8".

Sometimes people ask people their favorite Bible Text. I’ve heard in my life time over a dozen people say, “Favorite text: Micah. Do justice. Love goodness. Walk humbly with our God.”

A FEW TRANSLATIONS

Here are a few translations of Micah 6:8:

“He has told you, O man, what is good,
And what the Lord requires of you:
Only to do justice
And to love goodness,
And to walk modestly with your God.”

– Jewish Study Bible

“He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?”

- New Revised Standard Version

“No, the Lord has told us what is good.

What he requires of us is this:

to do what is just,

to show constant love,

and to live in humble fellowship

with our God.”

- Good News Bible

“You have been told, O man,

what is good,

and what the LORD requires of you:

Only to do the right

and to love goodness,

and to walk humbly with your God.”

- New American Bible

“What is good

has been explained to you, man;
this is what Yahweh asks of you:
only this, to act justly,
to love tenderly
and to walk humbly with your God.”

- Jerusalem Bible

“He hath shewed thee, O man,

what is good;

and what doth the Lord require of thee,

but to do justly,

and to love mercy,

and to walk humbly with thy God.”

- King James Bible

MEANINGS

First justice; mishpat in Hebrew. It means righteousness, fairness. It means one is just. It means the call for fairness in business – for example right weights. It means one measures up to the Law. It means to do what is right. God has this quality – God is a just judge. We should be as well – treating all people fairly – including the poor and the unnoticed.

Next goodness; chesed or hesed in Hebrew. It means loving kindness. It means I do acts of kindness. The Hebrew phrase, “gemilut hasadim” – means just that – to do good acts, kind acts. This is what people who are in a covenant with God and each other do – have compassion, steadfast love for each other.

Lastly walking humbly with God; le chet vehatznea in Hebrew. It means that I’m not going it alone. “The Lord be with you!” means just that. To walk wisely with our God. It’s following a path, a walk, a lifestyle with God. The Jewish Study Bible in its notes says it’s like walking in a wedding procession or a funeral procession. It says the original meaning of the phrase would be, “to walk wisely with your God”. I remember being in Ireland and we were going through a small town and everyone was out on the street – waiting for something. We found out that the town baker had died and his funeral was going to go up the street we were going up just ahead of it. Imagine being wrapped up in self – in doors – ignoring the whole procession.

Micah is saying be involved with everything God is involved in – walking with God in the cool of the evening and on the way to anyone’s cross.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Micah 6:8.”

When I am sitting with couples preparing for marriage, I like to ask what each thinks are the 3 keys to a good marriage. One answer was, “Communication. Communication. Communication.” Many say, “Communication, laughter and forgiveness.”

I also ask what they think are the 3 biggest problems in marriage. Some come up with the 3 that I read in The New York Daily News in 1967: “Money, Sex and In-Laws”.

I think it’s helpful to ask for the key ingredients, the “secrets” of life, a job, a marriage or what have you.

When we read the scriptures we often see people trying to sum things up.

Someone said Micah reduced the 613 precepts of the Law – 365 of which were negative commandments, “Thou shall not….” to 3. To be just, to practice acts of goodness and to walk humbly with our God.

Jesus reduced everything to 1 or 2: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself."

So once more if someone asks you, “What’s your favorite Bible text?” if you don’t have one, perhaps think about Micah 6: 8.

And once more, repeat after me, “Micah 6:8”, “Micah 6:8”, “Micah 6:8”.

ALWAYS  A  LADY

Quote for the Day - July 19, 2010


"At one early, glittering dinner party at Buckingham Palace, the trembling hand of a nervous waiter spilled a spoonful of decidedly hot soup down my neck. How could I manage to ease his mind and turn his embarrassed apologies into a smile, except to put on a pretended frown and say, without thinking: 'Never darken my Dior again!'"


Beatrice Lille [1894-1989], Every Inch a Lady (1973), Chapter 14



Painting on top by Louis Haghe, The New Ballroom - Buckingham Palace - 1856

WHAT DO I DO,
WHEN I DON’T GET
WHAT I WANT?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “What Do I Do When I Don’t Get What I Want?”

What do I do when I don’t get what I want?

We know what some little kids do. They scream. They stomp their feet. They make a scene. “I want my mommy and I want her now!” “I want ice cream and I want it now – just like the ice cream cone that kid there has!”

What do we big kids do when we don’t get what we want – and when we want it – like right now? “Where’s the heck is the waitress?!!!”

TODAY’S GOSPEL
Today’s gospel [Luke 10:38-42] gives the first of the two famous Martha-Mary stories in the Gospels. The second story is the one when their brother Lazarus dies and they send for Jesus. [Cf. John 11]

Let’s look at today’s gospel story of Jesus visiting Martha and Mary.

It seems – based on the first reading – that the theme for today’s readings is hospitality. I began reflecting on that – and I’ve preached on that using these readings. [Cf. Genesis 18:1-10a]

Then the thought hit me about what do I do when I don’t get what I want?

My first answer is: it all depends.

It all depends on the situation – how much time I have – and it all depends on what it is that I’m not getting.

In today’s gospel Martha feels stuck doing the hospitality. Luke puts it this way: “with much serving.” Mary is just sitting there at Jesus’ feet listening to him – doing little serving.

Whenever I hear this story I have many wonderings and questions:

Would Jesus sing a different tune if Martha sat there at Jesus’ feet as well – and nobody served him?

Why didn’t he say to Martha, “Sit down. Relax. Let me serve both of you?”

When did Martha say to Jesus, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” I can’t picture Mary sitting there as Martha said that out loud to Jesus. I assume this is a small house. I assume one went to the bathroom outside.

Did Martha make an angry “Huh!” sound when Jesus said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”?

What were conversations like between these two sisters every evening before and after this experience?

If Mary heard what Martha and Jesus said – at that moment – or afterwards, did she and Martha ever talk about it? Did they ever laugh about it? Did they ever argue over it? Or did they remain silent about it?

Is the purpose of this story that all of us have both a Martha and a Mary in us. We need to work, but also need to be reflective and contemplative?

How did Luke get this story? He wasn’t there.

What is Luke trying to tell us – by putting this story in his gospel? There is a rule when reading scripture called the “No Smoking Sign Rule”. If it’s there, it’s there for a reason – just as we know someone was smoking where someone put up a no smoking sign.

Was the scripture professor I had in the seminary correct when he wondered if this story was put in the scriptures because women in the early church were trying to take over – and the male preacher might tell this story – and then preach his homily by saying, “Women! The better place in the church is to sit and listen – like Mary sat silently listening to Jesus. And remember Jesus said Mary chose the better part compared to Martha.” And then our professor gave us texts from the Letters of Paul that might support this theory. [1]

And my last question and wondering: What would a parish community be wondering about on a Sunday morning as they heard this gospel story of Martha and Mary?

I would assume that one key message is that we practice hospitality to the guests who come to our home. Sometimes the hosts have to team work – one sitting and talking and listening to the guest, the other getting food and drinks ready in the kitchen. That message would tie in well with the today’s first reading where Abraham and Sarah show hospitality to three travelers – three strangers – getting them water to bathe their feet and food and drink – waiting on them as they sat under their tree outside their tent. Reread that first reading. It sounds like a great cook-out.

And one of them before leaving blesses Abraham by saying, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah will then have a son.”

Good message, but I was still intrigued by the question: What do I do when I don’t get what I want?

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT? [2]
How do couples deal with wanting a baby and they don’t have one?

How do we deal with rejection and lack of hospitality?

How do we deal with not having anyone who is willing to listen to us – especially a spouse or family member?

How do I deal with people at work who seem to be on an eternal coffee break and I get stuck with their work?

How do people deal with being out of a job and can’t get one anywhere?

How do people deal with rejections in relationships?

How do people deal with cancer and sickness and the reality called “death”?

Do I become Buddhist and say, “All suffering comes from desire – wanting an outcome – remove that desire – and there will be no suffering.”

Do I become a Stoic and tough it out? Be reasonable – and don’t let my emotions run my life. Stoicism is worth looking at. A lot of people down through the ages have practiced it. It’s might rain on your picnics or your wedding day. Traffic sometimes gets very snarly. Some drivers are always on their cell phones. Better get used to life. Stoicism taught that you can be sick and happy at the same time. Stoicism taught that you have to learn to accept all people as equals – even slaves – because all are children of God.

Do I become a complainer like Martha and try to get my way?

Do I become philosophical and say, “What difference does this make 20,000 years from now?”

Do I become theological and say, “God’s will be done?”

Do I become a skeptic and say, “What is God’s will? Does God want suffering? Does God really zap people?”

Do I follow the Talmud and say, “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I don’t know.’?”

Do I say this is life – this is the cross – I want one thing and someone else wants another thing - and we have a cross here – two plans intersecting and both are different?

Do I say this is why people sometimes avoid people and stick with things – because things we can control – so in some homes there are 4 people watching television in 4 different rooms. This way we all get what we want – our program – and all 4 have their own clicker.

Do I realize that I don’t want to be like Tom Hanks in the movie “Cast Away” or like Robinson Crusoe – all alone on an island? Do I realize I don’t want to be like Vinnie in “My Cousin Vinnie”. I need others – and therefore there are consequences. I have to learn how to deal with people who are different than I am. Thank God. Some people are like Martha and some people are like Mary.

Do I see that different personalities, different opinions, different options, different ways of doing and seeing things is what makes life what life is: interesting, a struggle, electric at times, challenging, demanding communication, unprogramed, unsure, and life giving? If I knew how the movie ended, how the story unfolds, how my life is going to go, boring, boring, boring.

CONCLUSION

I wanted my sermon to go another way, but this is what I came up with in the time I had. So I guess one answer is to do one’s best and then get moving and get out the pulpit. Amen.


Painting on top: Martha of Bethany by Vincenzo Campi

Check: http://www.Bible-Art.info/Martha_Mary.htm




FOOTNOTES

[1] I don't remember the texts that our professor was referring to - perhaps 1 Corinthians 14: 34, "As in all the churches of the saints, women are to remain quiet at meetings since they have no permission to speak; they must keep in the background as the Law itself lays it down. If they have any questions to ask, they should ask their husbands at home: it does not seem right for a woman to raise her voice at meetings." It might also have been 1 Timothy 2: 11-15, "During instruction, a woman should be quiet and respectful. I am not giving permission for a woman to teach or to tell a man what to do. A woman ought not to speak, because Adam was formed first and Eve afterwards, and it was not Adam who was lead astray but the woman who was led astray and fell into sin. Nevertheless, she will be saved by childbearing, provided she lives a modest life and is constant in faith and love and holiness." How's that for a footnote! I dare anyone in 2010 to bring that up at a Parish Council Meeting or what have you. I find the New Testament amazing for the speaking out and presence of women in lots of situations that seem so radical compared to what Bruce J. Malina and Richard L. Rohrbaugh write about in their Social-Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels [Augsburg Fortress Press, Minneapolis, MN, 1992] Read their commentary on today's gospel, pages 348-349. For starters they report that a woman would not be doing the welcoming [Martha] and a woman would not be sitting there listening to a man [Mary]. Listen to these words by Malina and Rohrbaugh, “The private world, a household, was the domain of women. It was a closed sphere marked off by inviolate boundaries, which commanded absolute loyalty of all members. It was both a social and economic unit, in which women were responsible for childbearing, clothing, food distribution, and other tasks needed to run the household. Women had little or no contact with males outside of their kin group. Since a woman's honor was determined first by her virginity and secondly by her loyalty to her husband, no breach of either was tolerated. Any breach would publicly shame all members of the kin group, who will be most keenly felt by the males who represented the family in public.” [p. 348] I didn't grasp this world till I read a book about Afghanistan, "The Bookseller of Kabul" by a Norwegian journalist, Asne Seierstad. She spent 3 months in the woman's world of the home of the bookseller. If the world of women that I was reading about in Kabul is anything like the world for women in the time of Jesus, then Jesus and Christianity was extremely revolutionary. In the meanwhile the title question of this homily is very relevant: "What do I do when I don't get what I want?"





[2] At times I can be flippant and shallow - when it comes to dealing with big questions. If anyone wants some heavy duty food for thought on the question of this homily, I recommend re-reading M. Scott Peck's classic, The Road Less Traveled - especially chewing on and discussing the specific cases and people he writes about.

DIGGING  OUR  NEIGHBORS

Quote for the Day - July 18,  2010


"We may serve God by digging with the hands, or by talking friendly with our neighbor."


Robert Hugh Benson [1871-1914] in The History of Richard Raynal Solitary - 20th Century

FAITH  AND  EXPERIENCE

Quote for the Day - July 17,  2010

“Faith begins as an experiment and ends as an experience.”

William Ralph Inge, [1860-1954]