HAD ANY GOD
EXPERIENCES, LATELY?
INTRODUCTION
I would like to reflect upon the theme of God experiences – and then what happens as a result of that experience.
This is obvious stuff – human experience stuff – stuff we already know.
In today’s 3 readings, especially the 1st and the 3rd, but also the 2nd reading, we have people who are experiencing God and what happens as a result of that experience.
FIRST FEELING: SMALL AND STUPID
The first thing that happens when we have a God experience is that we have a sense of awe, a sense of silence, a sense of feeling small, a sense of feeling sinful, shameful. We make grunting “uh” or “oooh” sounds.
We know the feeling. It’s the feeling we get when we are in the presence of greatness or bigness. It’s the feeling of being overwhelmed.
For example, we go into a big library, or go into a room where there are bookshelves filled with books, and we haven’t read a book in months and we feel stupid. We feel small. “Uh oh!” We have feelings of, “I don’t know.”
Or it’s like the sense we might feel when the other person has 5 PhD’s and we have only a GED (General Educational Development – a certificate for those who have passed a series of tests to make up for not receiving a high school diploma).
Or it’s like the feelings we might feel when we're sitting there at the airport waiting for our flight and standing right there in front of us is a pro athlete or the Prime Minister of England or someone who has just appeared on the cover of People Magazine and this is just little old me sitting there.
In today’s 1st reading, Isaiah is in the temple. He sees the smoke, the rising incense. He’s near the holy of holies. He feels the awe of the moment. He feels small. He feels a lump in his throat. He is silent. He feels stupid. He feels out of place. He is experiencing God. He feels his lips are sinful. “Oh my God, the words that have come out of this mouth. God if You only knew, if You only knew who I really am God!” Then come the feelings of, “Stay back – away from me God." These are the feelings of smallness.
In today’s 2nd reading Paul refers to his experience of Christ appearing to him – last – after all the others. And he says, “I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle.” There it is: the self put down. He senses his sins. He knows he persecuted the Church of God.
And in today’s gospel Peter has a big foot in mouth scene. He has fished all night long and caught nothing and here is this preacher who is telling me where there are fish. He then has the experience of seeing the power of God in Jesus - in the enormous catch of fish. He wants to fall through the boat, or under the boards. He would like to go under the bed if there was one or go into the closet. He would like to slink into nothingness. He falls on his knees and tells Jesus to leave, like various people in the gospel who first experience Jesus. "Get out of here. You don’t want to spend time with someone like me. Why meddle with me? Leave!"
So the first thing that happens to us in a God experience is a sense of nothingness, sinfulness, smallness in the presence of God - in the presence of greatness. If we go to prayer and don’t feel that smallness, that sinfulness, maybe the only person present in our temple, in our prayer, is ourselves. Maybe we are simply an I filling an ego and we are really not praying. Check out the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector later on in Luke 18: 9-14.
We know this. We’ve all had these experiences.
We go to a party “wearing the wrong clothes” We thought it was informal. Surprise everyone is dressed big time. Well, we feel stupid all through the party.
So too in prayer: if we don’t feel stupid, maybe we are not praying.
That is my experience with myself and with the so many people I have listened to. In the presence of bigness, we ought to feel smallness. There is a difference between looking at a puddle and the Atlantic Ocean. There is a difference between a pot hole and the Grand Canyon.
Feeling small seems to be the first test of prayer.
SECOND TEST: RESURRECTION
The second test, the second step, is the lifting up. It’s resurrection. Paul was lifted up off the ground and told to go to Damascus for his healing.
Isaiah – then experiences God touch his mouth and saying,” See, now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.” He was purged clean by the burning coals.
And Peter is lifted up with Jesus’ words, “Don’t be afraid.”
THIRD STEP - MISSION
And the third step is mission.
Isaiah ends today’s first reading with the words, “Here I am, send me.”
Paul at the end of today’s second reading says he toiled harder than all the apostles to preach so others would believe.
And Simon Peter at the end of today’s gospel hears Jesus say to him, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.”
The goal is never to keep standing still and feel lifetime guilt for our sins and dumb moves. Nor is the goal is to keep standing there saying, “Holy, holy, holy,” for the rest of our lives. The Sunday Liturgy is not self contained. We’re not here to simply feel bad or good about ourselves. We’re here to praise God and then hear our mission at the end of Mass in one of three commands: A: “Go in the peace of Christ.” B: “The Mass is ended, go in peace.” or C: “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.”
We old timers remember the old Latin ending of the Mass, “Ite, missa est.” We were taught that the word “mass” came from that word “missa”. We were taught those words meant, “Go, you are now sent into the world to make a difference – to love and serve one another.”
With the Space Age we knew what a missal sent into outer space meant, so we knew what being sent into the inner space of human hearts meant.
CONCLUSION: BRETON FISHERMEN'S PRAYER
Let me close with the Breton Fishermen’s Prayer:
Protect me oh God, for my boat is so small;
Protect me oh God, for my boat is so small.
My boat is so small and your sea is so wide,
Protect me oh God. Protect me oh God.
