STUPIDITY
Stupid! Stupid!
I can be so stupid.
What a mess!
I always do this!
Stupid! Stupid!
Why do I do this every time?
What do I do now?
Does this ever happen to you?
© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
“TAKE AND READ!
TAKE AND READ!” *WHEN THE OTHER PERSON
SEEMS BETTER
themselves in the presence
of an older person, who is self educated,
alive, in top shape, who exercises daily
and they start to feel small and stupid
for being out of shape or for not reading.
Sometimes a woman finds herself
in the presence of a woman her own age
who is extremely alive and beautiful,
someone who watches her diet and figure,
and thinking of self, the result is anger
for not taking care of oneself,
for feeling oh so bloated and oh so ugly.
Sometimes we meet a person of deep prayer
and charity and concern for others,
and we see our own selfishness and smallness
and sulk settles in. Then some of these feelings –
keep sloshing around inside of us
sometimes for years, sometimes for years.
Sometimes there is a moment .…
Well, this is the way deep conversions happen,
we go to a wake or a wedding,
or we’re gardening or in a plane or at an airport,
and we have a life changing insight or question.
Sometimes we’re simply reading a novel
or the Bible, for example, the gospel story
of Peter meeting Jesus and Jesus fills
Peter’s empty boat with fish – after fishing
all night and catching nothing – and we hear Peter
mumbling to Jesus, “Leave me alone Lord.
I am a sinful man.” When someone says that,
they are about to get it - a full boat "get it".
And we hear Jesus say,
“Don’t be afraid. Come follow me.
There are lot more fish to catch.
There is a lot more empty to fill.
There’s a lot more love for you to give.” **
Sometimes that’s all it takes.
Sometimes that’s how it happens.
* Augustine, The Confessions
of Saint Augustine,
Book 8, Chapter 12, Section 29,
Doubleday Image Book,
Translated by John K. Ryan;
Paul, Letter to the Romans 13:13-14.
** (Luke 5:1-12; John 21: 1-25)
© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
** (Luke 5:1-12; John 21: 1-25)
© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
AT THE END OF THE DOCK
We stood there together,
alone at the end of the dock,
out over the water.
Two dolphins glided by together,
laughing – gliding inches above the water –
out for what looked like an evening jog.
You were watching a Styrofoam cup
in an oil slick – floating – but going
what seemed like nowhere.
We stood there together,
alone at the end of a long conversation,
seeing that we see so, so differently.
© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
KALEIDOSCOPE
He was so, so different from
the rest of us. He thought in splashes –
splashes of words, splashes of color,
quick dashes and laughs of thought.
Most of the time he would sit there
quietly listening, watching, figuring.
Then when he had a light or insight –
he would sometimes tell us with he saw.
His eyes and smile would burst
and erupt – first with guttural sounds –
like from a kid strapped in the backseat
of a car or in a high chair at supper
banging a spoon on a plate.
He saw with Kaleidoscope patterns.
He saw the world around us in ways
we didn’t. It wasn’t till years later
I realized he had the gift Jesus had,
“Anyone who does not welcome
the kingdom of God like a little child
will never enter it.”* God I want that gift.
* Mark 10:13-16
© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
WONDERING ABOUT
THIS MARRIAGE?
in the night. Is this every marriage?
Wondering whether this will last?
Wondering what more I could be doing?
Wondering whether every couple comes to this point?
Feelings: being stuck, stalled, oh, so so the same.
Question: would it be the same for both of us
if we both of us had married another?
What’s next? What now, Lord?
You’re being quiet again.
Okay, I understand.
You’ve never been here.
© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
REALITY THERAPY
Some nights I can’t fall asleep
because I’m still stuck
in lingering conversations
from the day before, imagining myself
telling people what I didn’t tell them,
telling people what I’m really thinking,
telling people what I really want to say.
Somewhere in that dark night
I fall asleep. I see myself sailing way beyond myself,
sailing across unknown seas.
I see my Illiads and my Odysseys,
heading for new ports – escaping to places
where life is the way I dream it could be.
Suddenly the alarm screams
like a fog horn in the harbor.
I have to get out of bed
and do those everyday things
sailors need to do and then
pull up anchor and set sail for
a new day. Reality Therapy.
© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
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